Home Is The Place...

[Pendragon]

Home Is The Place…

When I started on my journey, I knew it would be rough and long,
But I set my face like stone, and I chased that Siren call.
Somehow I never dreamed that home would be the place I don’t belong—

Armed myself with a six-string, and I never lacked for words to a song.
My mind could spin out a thousand tunes; never miss a single word at all.
When I started on my journey, I knew it would be rough and long;

But I was headed for the coastline, how on Earth could that go wrong?
Pride goes before destruction; the haughty better look out for a fall.
Somehow I never dreamed that home would be the place I don’t belong—

I ignored all the warning signs, because I was I; you want trouble? Bring it on!
Mama didn’t raise any cowards, and my daddy didn’t raise me after all!
When I started on my journey, I knew it would be rough and long,

But tough was what I thought would make it; I was young and I was strong.
It never occurred to me that just a tiny little banana peel could make anyone fall—
Somehow I never dreamed that home would be the place I don’t belong.

So I’ve spent my life as a wanderer with no place to really settle down like fog,
It’s only there for a space of time and then the sun rises and tears down the wall…
When I started on my journey, I knew it would be rough and long,
Somehow I never dreamed that home would be the place I don’t belong—

Pendragon
© 7/11/07

[PrinceMyshkin]

"The blues ain't nothin' but a good man feelin' bad.
The blues ain't nothin' but a good man feelin' bad.
This warn't no classic blues song
But it sure did make me sad!"

Except, if you can sing it -and sing it well - then you've at least partly triumphed over it!

[Debrasue]

Well, I love it Pen! Spoke to me on a personal level (story of the last 15 years of my life...sans guitar! LOL!) I love that particular style of poem....

[kiz_paws]

Your poem really spoke to me, too, Pen. You are certainly gifted in the ability to pen artistic thoughts.

[tulysg1982]

Mr. Pendragon if you have published your poems in a book then i would like to have one.This poem is too perfect but the solemn tone is very touching. Hope we will get something very joyous next time :)

[Pendragon]

Mr. Pendragon if you have published your poems in a book then i would like to have one.This poem is too perfect but the solemn tone is very touching. Hope we will get something very joyous next time :)Thank you all. Tuly, I have never hit the giddy highets of a book yet, (published in several dozen magazines), but if I ever manage to do so, I would certainly see that you got one.

Pen

http://i94.photobucket.com/albums/l108/AbsalomKane/Smilies/PuppyLove.gif

(Dang, I wish I was in as good as shape as my chosen smilie!)

[Virgil]

Very interesting Pen. I like this very much too. It's a vilanelle (sp?) but one with extended line lengths I thnk. Vilanelles I have read have ten syallable lines. For instance Dylan Thomas:

Do not go gentle into that good night,
Old age should burn and rave at close of day;
Rage, rage against the dying of the light.

Your line lengths go for 16 syllables at least and it seems to really add to the poem. I'm not sure why, perhaps because you repeat the word "long" and long is critical to your theme. Interesting also is how even the lines that are not supposed to rhyme, have a sort of slant rhyme.

When I started on my journey, I knew it would be rough and long,
But I set my face like stone, and I chased that Siren call.

A really fine poem, if you ask me. :thumbs_up

[motherhubbard]

First, you should know not to chase the Siren’s call!

I especially liked these lines



Home Is The Place…

Pride goes before destruction; the haughty better look out for a fall.



So I’ve spent my life as a wanderer with no place to really settle down like fog,

Pendragon
© 7/11/07



I’m praying for you, Pen.

[firefangled]

Home Is The Place…

When I started on my journey, I knew it would be rough and long,
But I set my face like stone, and I chased that Siren call.
Somehow I never dreamed that home would be the place I don’t belong—

Armed myself with a six-string, and I never lacked for words to a song.
My mind could spin out a thousand tunes; never miss a single word at all.
When I started on my journey, I knew it would be rough and long;

But I was headed for the coastline, how on Earth could that go wrong?
Pride goes before destruction; the haughty better look out for a fall.
Somehow I never dreamed that home would be the place I don’t belong—

I ignored all the warning signs, because I was I; you want trouble? Bring it on!
Mama didn’t raise any cowards, and my daddy didn’t raise me after all!
When I started on my journey, I knew it would be rough and long,

But tough was what I thought would make it; I was young and I was strong.
It never occurred to me that just a tiny little banana peel could make anyone fall—
Somehow I never dreamed that home would be the place I don’t belong.

So I’ve spent my life as a wanderer with no place to really settle down like fog,
It’s only there for a space of time and then the sun rises and tears down the wall…
When I started on my journey, I knew it would be rough and long,
Somehow I never dreamed that home would be the place I don’t belong—

Pendragon
© 7/11/07

This is marvelous. The bar has been raised. You made the form do what form should and almost disappear. Excellent!!!

[Jennylc]

This is quite mournful and sad. It sounds like a song actually. A kind of ballad. You've captured that paradox of our romanticism versus reality. Home is meant to be somewhere we "belong", but in reality, this is rarely the case thesedays I suspect. To belong, one must feel at home, but if history fills that space with...say...unpleasant memories, or forced detachment, it would be possible only to view such a place with distaste. Yet we are still stuck with that idea that home is where we feel most at home. It is like a yearning that won't go away. I'm sure that's why someone invented the saying: Home is where the heart is.

[symphony]

Somehow I never dreamed that home would be the place I don’t belong

Somehow I never dreamed that here would be the place where I'll find such a great song!

[Pendragon]

Dark Long

When I finally came back to my senses, I knew there was something badly wrong.
So lay still for a few more moments trying to decide what was up with me.
The only thing I knew for certain, it was dark and I had been asleep far too long.

Then a nurse nearly fried my retinas when she came in and flipped the light switch on.
And my reaction must have started her, she called a Doctor stat to room 221B.
When I finally came back to my senses, I knew there was something badly wrong.

Well, I just came back from a round of tests, and they tell me that I’m fine and strong.
Funny thing is that none of them have mentioned a name when they refer to me.
The only thing I knew for certain, it was dark and I had been asleep far too long.

They brought me my things and told me I was to be released this morning just about dawn.
Everything thing in the bags was brand new, even the shining Gibson six-string I could see.
When I finally came back to my senses, I knew there was something badly wrong.

I dressed all in brown, looked in the mirror, and decided that my hair looked OK long.
And I had grown a beard but someone had kept it trimmed, and I’d just let it be.
The only thing I knew for certain, it was dark and I had been asleep far too long.

Now I travel from town to town, with my guitar having adventures; singing my songs.
Never have to worry about finances, there’s someone out there who looks out for me.
When I finally came back to my senses, I knew there was something badly wrong.
But that is how I became the man I am, the adventurer everyone calls Dark Long…

Pendragon
© 7/13/07

http://i94.photobucket.com/albums/l108/AbsalomKane/DarkLongDL-1.gif

[Pensive]

This is truly amazing, Pen! Gloomy but gripping. My favourite parts are:


But tough was what I thought would make it; I was young and I was strong.
It never occurred to me that just a tiny little banana peel could make anyone fall—
Somehow I never dreamed that home would be the place I don’t belong.


But I was headed for the coastline, how on Earth could that go wrong?
Pride goes before destruction; the haughty better look out for a fall.
Somehow I never dreamed that home would be the place I don’t belong—

[Niamh]

they are wonderful. The first one left me feeling hollow and sad. you truely are a wonderful poet Dale.

[ampoule]

I'm glad Dark Long has come along to entertain us. Nice.

[Pendragon]

Askuwheteau

He sits upon the highest cliffs, and looks out with eyes that are still young yet very old, clear as before.
He dreams of days when this land belonged to The People; and was truly wild and free.
He shakes his head in sorrow and somehow a black feather gently starts to fall to the forest floor.

All these great cities with their pollution, it wasn’t the way that he can recall it from before
Those tall ships came sailing bearing men with pale skin and hairy faces from across the sea.
He sits upon the highest cliffs, and looks out with eyes that are still young yet very old, clear as before...

They would have died here in this new land, but The People showed them how to get make food store.
Knowing nothing about writing they sold their homelands in exchange for a handful of pretty beads.
He shakes his head in sorrow and somehow a black feather gently starts to fall to the forest floor.

When they realized that they had been tricked, it was far too late, just sing that song once more—
War drums sounded in the hills and valleys and the country losing lifeblood began to bleed.
He sits upon the highest cliffs, and looks out with eyes that are still young yet very old, clear as before...

It soon became very clear that no matter how much The People gave, whites wanted all and more—
And without any sort of representation, The People were forced to march away before Tyranny.
He shakes his head in sorrow and somehow a black feather gently starts to fall to the forest floor.

He has been legend long among The People, even before the White Man came to these shores—
A Shaman so powerful that he is forever with the spirits of his animal brothers, thus hard to see.
He sits upon the highest cliffs, and looks out with eyes that are still young yet very old, clear as before...
He shakes his head in sorrow and somehow a black feather gently starts to fall to the forest floor...

Pendragon
© 7/14/07

[CdnReader]

"...and I had been asleep far too long."

Purely magnificent, Pen. The format is beautifully wrought.... I love the long lines and the unusual rhyming scheme.

-cdn-

[jon1jt]

Dark Long

When I finally came back to my senses, I knew there was something badly wrong.
So lay still for a few more moments trying to decide what was up with me.
The only thing I knew for certain, it was dark and I had been asleep far too long.

Then a nurse nearly fried my retinas when she came in and flipped the light switch on.
And my reaction must have started her, she called a Doctor stat to room 221B.
When I finally came back to my senses, I knew there was something badly wrong.

Well, I just came back from a round of tests, and they tell me that I’m fine and strong.
Funny thing is that none of them have mentioned a name when they refer to me.
The only thing I knew for certain, it was dark and I had been asleep far too long.

They brought me my things and told me I was to be released this morning just about dawn.
Everything thing in the bags was brand new, even the shining Gibson six-string I could see.
When I finally came back to my senses, I knew there was something badly wrong.

I dressed all in brown, looked in the mirror, and decided that my hair looked OK long.
And I had grown a beard but someone had kept it trimmed, and I’d just let it be.
The only thing I knew for certain, it was dark and I had been asleep far too long.

Now I travel from town to town, with my guitar having adventures; singing my songs.
Never have to worry about finances, there’s someone out there who looks out for me.
When I finally came back to my senses, I knew there was something badly wrong.
But that is how I became the man I am, the adventurer everyone calls Dark Long…

Pendragon
© 7/13/07

http://i94.photobucket.com/albums/l108/AbsalomKane/DarkLongDL-1.gif

hey pen, i wanted to tell you that i really like part II of this; it's somber and sincere, and carried me along. that's good writing to me. thanks for sharing.

[kiz_paws]

Askuwheteau

He sits upon the highest cliffs, and looks out with eyes that are still young yet very old, clear as before.
He dreams of days when this land belonged to The People; and was truly wild and free.
He shakes his head in sorrow and somehow a black feather gently starts to fall to the forest floor.

All these great cities with their pollution, it wasn’t the way that he can recall it from before
Those tall ships came sailing bearing men with pale skin and hairy faces from across the sea.
He sits upon the highest cliffs, and looks out with eyes that are still young yet very old, clear as before...

They would have died here in this new land, but The People showed them how to get make food store.
Knowing nothing about writing they sold their homelands in exchange for a handful of pretty beads.
He shakes his head in sorrow and somehow a black feather gently starts to fall to the forest floor.

When they realized that they had been tricked, it was far too late, just sing that song once more—
War drums sounded in the hills and valleys and the country losing lifeblood began to bleed.
He sits upon the highest cliffs, and looks out with eyes that are still young yet very old, clear as before...

It soon became very clear that no matter how much The People gave, whites wanted all and more—
And without any sort of representation, The People were forced to march away before Tyranny.
He shakes his head in sorrow and somehow a black feather gently starts to fall to the forest floor.

He has been legend long among The People, even before the White Man came to these shores—
A Shaman so powerful that he is forever with the spirits of his animal brothers, thus hard to see.
He sits upon the highest cliffs, and looks out with eyes that are still young yet very old, clear as before...
He shakes his head in sorrow and somehow a black feather gently starts to fall to the forest floor...

Pendragon
© 7/14/07

I really loved your message here, Pen. My husband's family is of "The People", and well, your poem deeply touched me. Thank you. Your fan, Kizzo :)

[Pendragon]

Thanks, Kiz. My great-grandfather was a full-blood member of the Cherokee Nation. Askuwheteau is an Algonquin name, which means "He Who Watches." I chose it long ago for a character who is an ancient Indian Shaman who is a shape-shifter. Poems about my characters are beginning to emerge, even if I am mind-froze at the moment on storylines...

Pen

http://i94.photobucket.com/albums/l108/AbsalomKane/Smilies/PuppyLove.gif

[kiz_paws]

Pen, you should seriously consider a book. Your work is far too brilliant to NOT have a book, I am sure that a reputable Publisher would agree. I also want to say that I look forward to more of your character poems. And finally, megwetch, my friend. :)

[Pendragon]

Edit: Deleted Personal reasons.

Pendragon