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Bii
07-11-2007, 04:09 PM
When I first started writing poetry I foolishly promised my son I would write a poem for him. It's taken me a while but I've finally done it! It's only just finished so I haven't shown it to him yet - I'd kind of like some other views before I give it to him. He's 7 - bear that in mind!

*DELETED*

Debrasue
07-11-2007, 08:53 PM
Awww...Bii...very sweet & tender....that's all I can offer....I'm sure he'll love it!

ampoule
07-11-2007, 11:23 PM
Indeed, a sweet poem. Has your son experienced those particular fears? Monsters? Creaky stairs?
Have you read the book, "Love You Forever", by Robert Munsch? It's a great mother/son book.

PrinceMyshkin
07-12-2007, 01:35 PM
When I first started writing poetry I foolishly promised my son I would write a poem for him. It's taken me a while but I've finally done it! It's only just finished so I haven't shown it to him yet - I'd kind of like some other views before I give it to him. He's 7 - bear that in mind!

Sleep (a lullaby)

Sleep, and I will watch you
as you fold into the night;
ignore the shadows in the corner,
let my presence be your light;
ignore the monsters in the closet
I will keep them from your bed,
ignore the creaking steps outside your door,
my song will turn their ghostly tread.

Don’t fear the dreams that carry you
to dark and unfamiliar shores,
for I will be the sun, the moon,
the brisk north wind that soars
and watches over you
though life may take you far;
I’ll always be your guiding star.

So I will fold you snug in my embrace
and watch you drift to sleep.
Wrapped up safely in my arms
I dream you’re mine to keep.

Glorious! I could hear the tender loving fatherly voice as if it were being read to me. He will love it - unless, that is, he feels as I do about the dangling modifier in the last 2 lines. Did you know that dangling modifiers are punishable by death in a number of the Canadian provinces?

Bii
07-12-2007, 03:23 PM
It's a good job I don't live in Canada then. Bit worried about the fatherly voice - his Dad definitely didn't write it!

PrinceMyshkin
07-12-2007, 03:27 PM
It's a good job I don't live in Canada then. Bit worried about the fatherly voice - his Dad definitely didn't write it!


Good job indeed because we're also VERY DOWN on ambiguity! The preface to your poems speaks of "my son" and a promise you're fulfilling at last. Dude! Everyday life is confusing enough for me - please don't add to it. :crash:

Bii
07-12-2007, 03:34 PM
Confusion is the source of all happiness...or is that confucion?

PrinceMyshkin
07-12-2007, 03:37 PM
Confusion is the source of all happiness...or is that confucion?


In which case I wish you a happy hour or two contemplating Quantum Mechanics

Bii
07-12-2007, 03:43 PM
Quantum mechanics is beyond me, especially on a Thursday. I may spend the next hour or two contemplating a nice bottle of red - the result is pretty much the same.

PrinceMyshkin
07-12-2007, 03:50 PM
Quantum mechanics is beyond me, especially on a Thursday. I may spend the next hour or two contemplating a nice bottle of red - the result is pretty much the same.

Ha ha! Somebody just outted you to me! You're of the OTHER gender!!!!

Bii
07-12-2007, 03:53 PM
Indeed, I have been rumbled, though I didn't realise it was such a secret?!

PrinceMyshkin
07-12-2007, 03:55 PM
Indeed, I have been rumbled, though I didn't realise it was such a secret?!

Did you not notice that you were the ONLY one I wasn't hitting on?

Bii
07-12-2007, 03:58 PM
Did you not notice that you were the ONLY one I wasn't hitting on?

Ha ha ha, I'm afraid not, but I'll be watching for it now! (hurries off to read back catalogue of threads.....)

PrinceMyshkin
07-12-2007, 09:10 PM
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