faith and begora

[amuse]

4:30 a.m. Saturday.

“Your brother was 14 today.”
“Oh no…”
“Don’t worry about it; he reminded your mom, you’re fine.”
Could? I be more sleepy. We rambled on: classes next week, child support hearings. The noises of settling in, turning over, rearranging pillows. A shadowy black image, wrought with multitudinous curves. In the center, a shapely blank.
“You’re the missing piece of my puzzle,” I pronounced, and blithely chatted on.
Later, two minutes, three? “You’re awfully quiet.”
“I was thinking about what you said.”
“Hunh?” (I’ve a faulty memory in the wee hours.)
“About the puzzle. How long did that take you to think up?”
“I didn’t.” I'm so rarely able to take credit for my thoughts, words - I saw it.
“You don’t seem very excited about it.”
And suddenly, I am and reach for my dream journal. It’s a silky green bundle, given to me by a former employee. It looks like lawn, a soft meadowy color beneath tall, kind, whispering trees. I also realize how different he and I are: I become shrill when excited, rather like a 14-year old. He on the other hand becomes still and quiet. My scrawls appear on warm, buttered pages.
“Honey, I just wrote it down.”
“But it’s not for you, it’s for me.”
“I wrote it down for you. If you ever need it later.”

When did I stop checking vacuum filters? When did I stop looking under chairs, tables, between the carpet and baseboard? When did he appear…when was he not there.
It’s a rare and precious gift he is.

[amuse]

noticed one or two things here.
as i read it realized that you couldn't tell we weren't in the same room together. (though we were, we have that "thing" that married couples have.)

we were on the phone.
an interesting side note to that is after we hung up and i wrote in my journal, i eventually remembered we were no longer on the phone - you know how you think something so strongly you're convinced you said it/the other person heard it? i was briefly surprised to find i was alone and we'd hung up.

i jotted down the puzzle stuff this morning because i figured if i waited until waking up i'd forget some of it. as it turns out that's true - i forgot until rereading that i'd also recorded "one should take care of their missing puzzle piece. it's generally the most important one."

anyway, after years and years of drama, it's nice to finally settle down and become two stodgy (not :D) people in love...sometimes i don't know what i did to deserve this, and am so very grateful.

blame the many caps on microsoft word, btw. :D

[Koa]

*completely lost* :rolleyes:

[amuse]

it was the most magical phone conversation i've ever had....
ok, so my prose sucks. :p

[Koa]

well maybe it's my English that sucks... but I really had no clue of what was going on... and now that you said 'phone' I decided I'd better read it again... ;)
You're cryptical sometimes, at least to me... That makes it mysterious I guess :)

[fayefaye]

I love phones. Which is stupid, but true. They've become my most beloved means of conversation; the few moments when you can have a real conversation.

[Koa]

I hate phones...well not really, I'm so talkative that if I phone to say one little thing, I end up talking for half an hour... That's why i rarely use it now...When I was 15-16 I used to spend hours on the phone with my best frien, but now I really lost the habit. I detest calling people I'm not in great confidence with, I feel like I'm disturbing etc... And I don't get phonecalls often either.

[emily655321]

I hate the phone too. I always let the answering machine get it, then pick up the receiver if it's someone I want to talk to. But even worse is calling someone, because then you're obligated to start the conversation. People get kind of confused if they say, "Hello?" and are met with, "Hi. Um . . . err . . . well . . . okay, well . . . um . . ." :p