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formality hater
07-07-2007, 07:59 AM
Here goes another...

They won't laugh at his jokes

He dressed in a scarlet robe,
Painted his face and pinched his nose,
Tousled the hair and shined his boots,
Staring in triumph at his image, he moved,
Behind the curtains,on the stage,
What kept him waiting,what jept hin back,
He was a clown and he knew what to do,
And guess my friends,what was with him,

He was afraid, they won't laugh at his jokes

He was unnerved, but shattered of course,
Fears confirmed and terror aroused,
Tears rolled and flooded the floor,
Clowning around, no laughter resonating,
On the stage, inside the hall,
What made him stumble, what made him fall,
He was a clown and he knew what to do,
And guess my friends, what was with him,

He had believed, they won't laugh at his jokes

He put on a cloak, a drappled coat,
Coloured the face and squinted his eyes,
Messed up his hair and sparkled the boots,
Determined for once, so slowly he moved,
Behind the curtains, on the stage,
What made him certain, what made him proud,
He was a clown and he conquered his fear,
And guess my friends, what happened then,

That was the day they all laughed at his jokes
...............
Please,do spare a look!:crash:

Pendragon
07-07-2007, 09:37 AM
Liked the poem. Watch your spelling. "Jept him back?" Be careful to proof read. I like your build up. In the last verse you have me thinking, ok, the poor dude's gonna have to die on stage or something, and you then close out the suspense you built up very nicely. Good job! http://i94.photobucket.com/albums/l108/AbsalomKane/Smilies/Appaluse.gif

Pensive
07-07-2007, 01:47 PM
Here goes another...

They won't laugh at his jokes

He dressed in a scarlet robe,
Painted his face and pinched his nose,
Tousled the hair and shined his boots,
Staring in triumph at his image, he moved,
Behind the curtains,on the stage,
What kept him waiting,what jept hin back,
He was a clown and he knew what to do,
And guess my friends,what was with him,

He was afraid, they won't laugh at his jokes

He was unnerved, but shattered of course,
Fears confirmed and terror aroused,
Tears rolled and flooded the floor,
Clowning around, no laughter resonating,
On the stage, inside the hall,
What made him stumble, what made him fall,
He was a clown and he knew what to do,
And guess my friends, what was with him,

He had believed, they won't laugh at his jokes

He put on a cloak, a drappled coat,
Coloured the face and squinted his eyes,
Messed up his hair and sparkled the boots,
Determined for once, so slowly he moved,
Behind the curtains, on the stage,
What made him certain, what made him proud,
He was a clown and he conquered his fear,
And guess my friends, what happened then,

That was the day they all laughed at his jokes
...............
Please,do spare a look!:crash:

That's lovely! Ending is very optimistic. :D You have written on a very unique subject, and quite well! :) I can also notice how the words rhyme at times (I am addicted to rhyming)! :p

PrinceMyshkin
07-07-2007, 02:06 PM
(I am addicted to rhyming)! :p

Addicted to rhyming?
Is that all of the timing?
Frankly, to me it sometimes feels like bells that are chiming
while my blood pressure goes on climbing and climbing.
And sometimes it feels like nickle-and-diming
not to mention sliming
the syntax when you should be subliming.

Pensive
07-07-2007, 02:47 PM
Addicted to rhyming?
Is that all of the timing?
Frankly, to me it sometimes feels like bells that are chiming
while my blood pressure goes on climbing and climbing.
And sometimes it feels like nickle-and-diming
not to mention sliming
the syntax when you should be subliming.

Drug-addicts can't get a drug everytime
So can't I hear always a nice poem that rhymes! :p
As for you not being much fond of rhymes, I can't say anything
For different people there are different which to them some joy bring! :D

PrinceMyshkin
07-07-2007, 03:08 PM
Drug-addicts can't get a drug everytime
So can't I hear always a nice poem that rhyme! :p
As for you not being much fond of rhymes, I can't say anything
For different people there are different which to them some joy bring! :D

Here's where you can get your heart's full of rhyme:

http://www.poets.org/viewmedia.php/prmMID/15301

Pensive
07-07-2007, 03:12 PM
Here's where you can get your heart's full of rhyme:

http://www.poets.org/viewmedia.php/prmMID/15301

Thanks for the link. I hope there are nice rhymes (the kind I like) over here! :)

formality hater
07-09-2007, 05:28 AM
Thanks for the comments!
Next time I'll be working on proof reading,Pen.