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motherhubbard
07-02-2007, 03:40 PM
This is my 7th poem. I wonder how many one must write to be any good...


Fear and desire

Where does this creeping fear come from,
and why does my heart pound so?

I feel your presence wrapping around me
like a warm, velvety cloak.

But, I am not comforted by your touch.
I find no peace in you.

I flinch, my mind recoils, my eyes dart for shelter.
Still, I want you to come closer - to speak to me, touch me.

I press in to inhale your musky sent,
although the thickness of your breath is suffocating,

I am held by some mysterious
compelling force, and the pull grows stronger

There is nothing of me left that is visible to the naked eye.
I am encompassed and long for more

Caught, I am caught. I can not get enough.
If there were an escape, I would no longer take it.

Who will save me from drowning in this corrupt desire?
You nor I have the power.

Niamh
07-02-2007, 03:44 PM
thats positively sinful!:p As for how many poems you need to write to be good....you are great!

Debrasue
07-02-2007, 03:59 PM
OMG!!! Motherhubbard!...That is awesome!....and for me...soooo Christine & the Phantom of the Opera! Just the way I imagined she might be feeling when he tries to seduce her through the mirror and down in the Lair....wonderful poem...raised my temperature! Fear is an integral aspect of Desire....

Had to come back & re-read this....can't get enough...

motherhubbard
07-02-2007, 05:52 PM
OMG!!! Motherhubbard!...That is awesome!....and for me...soooo Christine & the Phantom of the Opera! Just the way I imagined she might be feeling when he tries to seduce her through the mirror and down in the Lair....wonderful poem...raised my temperature! Fear is an integral aspect of Desire....

Had to come back & re-read this....can't get enough...

I want to read the phantom after reading your post. There is something lustful about fear, and while I like it, it does make me a little sick to my stomach.

Debrasue
07-02-2007, 06:23 PM
Yes...this poem describes Christine perfectly...the Christine in Leroux's story...in the adaptation for the movie, The Phantom is her childhood Angel and Teacher of music she has never seen......she longs to see him...but is also a little apprehensive....

symphony
07-03-2007, 03:54 AM
hmmm thats one passionate poem! great work, mom :D
if a 7th poem is like this, i'm thrilled to imagine how the upcoming ones will be, do give me the pleasure of reading the upcoming ones by keeping them coming. :)

Pendragon
07-04-2007, 08:57 AM
Nice. How many--one, if you can get one person to read it! And Mother H, what I said to Sy applies to you as well: I do not allow poets tp put themseves down, write and always consider it either good or capable of redrafting into a good poem! http://i94.photobucket.com/albums/l108/AbsalomKane/Smilies/Appaluse.gif

andave_ya
07-05-2007, 11:10 PM
yah, this is POTO-ish, but it stands alone very nicely too. Thumbs up, motherhubbard! :)

ampoule
07-05-2007, 11:19 PM
Very nice. Now, where did I put that fan?

motherhubbard
07-06-2007, 12:39 AM
where did I put that fan?

that's very funny! My husband didn't get it, doesn't understand the feeling. I find women relate more so than men.

Debrasue
07-06-2007, 01:02 AM
motherhubbard....don't be fooled....most men 'understand' completely...they may not 'experience' the emotion themselves, but some do use it to their advantage when they can! Consider that most of the earlier books/ stories that deal with this emotion were written by men.... It is very a sublime combination! LOL! And it's even more sublime when a woman knows how to use it on a man...("be afraid..be very afraid".. my fave line from 'Due South')....it then becomes like an emotional dance of Tango....

ktd222
07-06-2007, 06:27 AM
Your poem definitely seems to wrap fear in desire. So maybe the title should be Fear in Desire. He has an air about him, doesn’t he, one that is smothering? I felt overwhelmed at times by him. And at times I felt let down by the imagery. There is a lot to be said for what is not said.

stephofthenight
07-06-2007, 06:33 PM
wow, that was amazing. i hope one day my poetry will take my readers breath away as yours does me. you truely are an inspiration to me.
steph

motherhubbard
07-07-2007, 11:35 PM
Your poem definitely seems to wrap fear in desire. So maybe the title should be Fear in Desire. He has an air about him, doesn’t he, one that is smothering? I felt overwhelmed at times by him. And at times I felt let down by the imagery. There is a lot to be said for what is not said.

Thanks to everyone who has commented. You guys are so nice to me.

I think that fear in desire is good, or possibly fear of desire. But, maybe I just like a certain amount of control

Granny5
07-10-2007, 11:26 AM
Wow, Kiddo! Must have skipped a generation.

PrinceMyshkin
07-10-2007, 12:23 PM
that's very funny! My husband didn't get it, doesn't understand the feeling. I find women relate more so than men.

But, darling husbands aren't men, any more than wives are 'women'!