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View Full Version : I need help finishing my arguementative essay. Can anyone help me? Please!



Tierra_Bailey22
07-01-2007, 07:55 PM
I have been workin on my arguementative paper for almost 2 weeks now and I'm still frustrated about how I"m going to build or write a 1000 word essay by July 5,2007. I have written out my outline but I am not sure if I'm heading in the right direction. If you wish to help me I will be glad and grateful of you advice or suggestions. Below is a copy of my outline including paragraphs for some of my supporting points. Feel free to edit, revise, and comment if you wish. All help is wanted. ThanK you, tierra.

English 101 Research Paper Outline



Should the laws and penalties for being charged and convicted for pedophilia be re-evaluated by the United States government?

1) Introduction

WHAT IS PEDOPHILIA?
A PSYCHOSEXUAL DISORDER IN WHICH THERE IS A PREFERENCE FOR SEXUAL ACTIVITIES INVOLVING PREPUBERTAL OR PERIPUBERTAL CHILDREN TYPICALLY 13 YEARS OLD OR YOUNGER. PEDOPHILE IS MOST COMMON AMONG MEN IN THE AGE RANGE OF 30 AND OLDER. HOWEVER, RESEARCH HAS SHOWN THAT PEDOPHILIA CAN BE INSTALLED IN CHILDREN AT A YOUNGER AGE. THE CAUSE S OF PEDOPHILIA IS NOT WELL UNDERSTOOD BUT THE CRIMES IS UNEXCUSED!

Over the past decade, our nation has focused on the detrimental risk sex offender’s pose to the safety of communities. In the 1990’s a series of high profile cases of abductions, rapes, and murders occurred, in which pushed the United States legislation to pass a law allowing Americans to be notified when sexual predators were released back into our communities. Since then, our nation has passed laws such as the Jessica law, and Megan’s law, along with The National Sex Offenders Registry which allows people to locate pedophiles in their community or town.

Thesis Statement:
However, we should always be willing to re-evaluate laws and penalties concerning pedophilia. The government should spare no cost when it comes to keeping our children safe.


Laws and Penalties to re-evaluate (supporting points)

A.1
Treatment centers and programs for pedophiles.

THE US GOVERNMENT SHOULD RE-EVALUATE A LAW THAT ASSURE CHARGED AND CONVICTED PEDOPHILES DO A MANDATORY 2-3 YEARS OF THEIR SENTENCE IN A REHABILITATION CENTER. IF THE PEDOPHILE IS OFFERED PAROLE HE/OR SHE STILL MUST ATTEND A TREATMENT CENTER OF THE DURATION OF THEIR PROBATION. IN WHICH EACH PEDOPHILE MUST BE SUPERVISED OR MONITORED AT EVERY TREATMENT SESSION. THIS WILL BE TO ASSURE TREATMENT AND ATTENDANCES.

A.2
Re-evaluating the second and third degree sentence laws.

RECENTLY, A BILL WAS PASSED TO MAKE FIRST DEGREE SEXUAL ABUSE A MANDATORY 25 TO LIFE IMPRISONMENT WITHOUT PAROLE. HOWEVER, THE GOVERNMENT FAILED TO RAISE THE SENTENCING GUIDELINE FOR SECOND AND THIRD DEGREE OFFENSES. THESE OFFENSES SHOULD BE RAISED TO 10-15 YEAR WITH THE POSSIBLE OF PAROLE, INSTEAD OF 3-5 YEARS. PEDOPHILES ARE CRUEL, HATEFUL, VICIOUS, AND DANGEROUS TO ALL PEOPLE NOT ONLY CHILDREN. REGARDLESS OF THE DEGREE OF THE CRIME A SEXUAL PREDATOR SHOULD PUNISHED WITHOUT ANY PLEAD BARGAINS. NEVERTHELESS, THEY HAVE DAMAGED MANY CHILDREN’S LIVE AND THERE IS NOT ANY EXCUSE FOR THE PAIN AND SUFFERING, IN, WHICH OUR CHILDREN STRUGGLES WITH DAILY.

A.3
Effects of abuse on children.

THE SEXUAL VIOLATION OF ANY CHILD OR CHILDREN HAS CAUSE IMMEDIATE PSYCHOLOGICAL EFFECTS AND/ OR CONSEQUENCES.

THESE PSYCHOLOGICAL EFFECTS ARE:

Ž SEXUAL DYSFUNCTION
Ž ANXIETY, FEAR, AND DEPRESSION
Ž REVICTIMIZATION
Ž SUICIDE
Ž PERSONALITY DISORDERS
Ž MULTIPLE PSYCHIATRIC DISORDER
CONTINUE…………………………………………………..


A.4
Rehabilitation for abused children.

undecided......

Conclusion:

The children are our future. The government need take all precautions and cut no corners when it comes to keeping them safe. Pedophiles should be penalized to the greatest extent of the law with each and every conviction. There should not be second offenses.

PeterL
07-01-2007, 08:18 PM
You might also want to go into the terminology. What is now called "pedophilia" was, until recently, called "pederasty". Pedophilia is from Greek roots Meaning "Child love", while pederasty means eroticism with children. I don't know exactly when or why the term was changed, but it probably was related to someone wanting to reduce the sentences of those convicted - change the crime and change the sentence.

PeterL
07-01-2007, 08:22 PM
1000 words are far too few to treat the subject fully. There should be differentiation between men who like boys and men who like little girls. The reasons for each are different, and the effects on the victims are different.

barbara0207
07-02-2007, 04:59 PM
Concerning your thesis I think you should say more clearly that you are for stricter laws and penalties. Re-evaluation may go in both directions.

Moreover, you should re-structure your essay, in my view. Defing pedophilia at the beginning is ok. But as you are for stricter laws, you should say first what effects the crimes of pedophiles have on the victims in order to prepare your ground and make everyone listen to the measures you want to suggest. I think that would be much more convincing. You can mention the effects again in the conclusion - the repetition will stick.

Another point is that measures to help the victims do not belong in this essay - it's a completely different subject, as you're dealing with "laws and penalties for being charged and convicted for pedophilia".

Hope I could help you a bit. :)

Tierra_Bailey22
07-02-2007, 08:45 PM
So are you suggestion I define pedophilia,keep my introduction, and then just add in that the government shoulf re-evaluate stricter laws and penalties into my thesis to make it thoroughly clear. Also do you think I should move a.3 up as my 1st supporting point. Then go about my other two suporting topic's which are treatments and re-evaluating second and third degree offenses. However, could you you give me and idea of what I could make my 4th paragraph about in order to narrow it down to my conclusion?

So far I have may intro, thesis, conclusion, and three supporting points which are the effects on children after being sexually victimized, treatments & program for pedophiles, and last re-evaluating the penalties for second and third degree offenses. What more could I add to make my paper effective?

barbara0207
07-03-2007, 04:20 PM
I suggest the following:
I. Introduction (make the reader interested/willing to read on)
"Over the past ..."
Thesis statement (Say that all these measures are not sufficient)

II. Main part
1. reasons why measures do not suffice
a) definition (What is ped., how difficult is it to heal perpetrators, how
many repeat/persistent offenders are there)
b) devastating effects on victims
c) thus: children and their parents need more safety

2. suggestions
(your points A1 and A2)

III. Conclusion

That should be enough for 1000 words. Maybe I'm using a somewhat different system of structuring, but I hope you see what I mean. Good luck!

Adolescent09
07-06-2007, 10:17 AM
I suggest the following:
I. Introduction (make the reader interested/willing to read on)
"Over the past ..."
Thesis statement (Say that all these measures are not sufficient)

II. Main part
1. reasons why measures do not suffice
a) definition (What is ped., how difficult is it to heal perpetrators, how
many repeat/persistent offenders are there)
b) devastating effects on victims
c) thus: children and their parents need more safety

2. suggestions
(your points A1 and A2)

III. Conclusion

That should be enough for 1000 words. Maybe I'm using a somewhat different system of structuring, but I hope you see what I mean. Good luck!

I second this preliminary outline. I was going to write an outline which the OP could follow at will, but barbara has done a more efficient job. Nice.

barbara0207
07-06-2007, 06:01 PM
I second this preliminary outline. I was going to write an outline which the OP could follow at will, but barbara has done a more efficient job. Nice.

Thank you, adol. It's my job, you know. :)
But I think we've lost the original poster, anyway. Do you think she'll ever post a "Thanks" of some kind?

xtianfriborg13
11-27-2012, 08:27 PM
Wow, you guys are helpful. I assume you finished this argumentative essay?