May I?

[ampoule]

May I Have The Pleasure? (July 24, 2002)

Alone again,
Sipping my coffee,
Watching all the couples come and go.
Some lean into every word of their companion,
While others look over each other's shoulders,
Averting their eyes, never talking.
How will they ever enjoy the meal that will be brought to them?
How will they even digest it?
If only I could sprinkle them with fairy dust.
I want so much for them to be happy, because,
I remember how you looked over my shoulder.
Oh, how I tried to capture your eyes,
Seeking your words, a touch of your hand, or
The unthinkable, a smile, immoral bore that I was,
But still,
I had longings.
May I have the pleasure of your company?
May I run my foot up and down your leg as an appetizer
For the main course?
May I reach across the table and trace your fingertips?
May I look you in the eyes and tell you I love you?

[Mortis Anarchy]

This is really really sweet...I have to admit it made me tear up a bit!:) Excellent work... I love the last two lines.

[ampoule]

Well, YOU sir are sweet and I thank you very much. You are very kind.

[Pendragon]

http://i94.photobucket.com/albums/l108/AbsalomKane/Oreintial.gif Sounds like a bit of a flirt, oui? Nice poem. http://i94.photobucket.com/albums/l108/AbsalomKane/Smilies/Appaluse.gif

[ampoule]

http://i94.photobucket.com/albums/l108/AbsalomKane/Oreintial.gif Sounds like a bit of a flirt, oui? Nice poem. http://i94.photobucket.com/albums/l108/AbsalomKane/Smilies/Appaluse.gif

Hmm? Perhaps, except that there was no one to flirt with at that time. But I will remember that.
Merci beaucoup.

I adore the geisha smilie. I need her, I think. ;)

[PrinceMyshkin]

How wonderfully this moves from the seemingly impersonal observation, to the yearning in those lovely final lines.

[Pensive]

This was really good. Rather gloomy, but that doesn't make it bad.

[blp]

Love is never having to ask permission.

Just kidding.

It's nice, but I kind of think it could be pushed a little harder. Couldn't say how exactly, but you might be able to trim some dead wood and make some of the description do more. 'Alone again' is not doing much. 'Sipping my coffee' is verging on cliché.

[ampoule]

Love is never having to ask permission.

Just kidding.

It's nice, but I kind of think it could be pushed a little harder. Couldn't say how exactly, but you might be able to trim some dead wood and make some of the description do more. 'Alone again' is not doing much. 'Sipping my coffee' is verging on cliché.

You are right. It DOES need work and I think I will enjoy that. :)

[ampoule]

How wonderfully this moves from the seemingly impersonal observation, to the yearning in those lovely final lines.

Se rappeler?

[jon1jt]

i like the sensual leap it takes, but the poem oversimplifies the emotional condition--the "averting eyes" are presented as the primary cause of unhappiness, but we know it's quite more complicated. it's a little loose around the edges, and the questions are a bit much after a while. i realize you're saying it tongue-in-cheek, and i do like how the speaker is all-desiring to pour her happiness on others to shake them from their slumber. the tense shift is effective too.

[dramasnot6]

It's sweet :thumbs_up :)

[firefangled]

What I like about all your poems, Ampoule, is they are presented as personal, but I always feel something that is common to all of us. I think "averting eyes" exemplifies how quickly and simply we are taken into our reveries, often by even much less than that . Our minds and hearts have their own maps and we don't always know the road signs until we see then. Then it is too late to turn away.

I thought I kept hearing Molly Bloom's... "yes and then yes he answered yes...? in those last few lines. Very well done.

[PrinceMyshkin]

What I like about all your poems, Ampoule, is they are presented as personal, but I always feel something that is common to all of us. I think "averting eyes" exemplifies how quickly and simply we are taken into our reveries, often by even much less than that . Our minds and hearts have their own maps and we don't always know the road signs until we see then. Then it is too late to turn away.

I thought I kept hearing Molly Bloom's... "yes and then yes he answered yes...? in those last few lines. Very well done.

And isn't it a wonderful bit of serendipity that uch a wondreful poem of yours is followed so closely by another wonderful one by her in the "And the word is" thread she started. Note too the happy thematic synchronicity in the pseudonyms you and she chose.

[ampoule]

Well, YOU sir are sweet and I thank you very much. You are very kind.


This is just to apologize to Mortis who is a femme, not a homme. Sorry. :blush:

[motherhubbard]

I don't know how I messed this one. It is so lovely and transcends all bearers finding the lowest common denominator in all of us. I like that. I have a particular interest in what makes something the LCD. Longing for the touch and attention from an otherwise occupied lover is universal.