WX6[ck]
05-11-2004, 01:18 PM
If I may, I have posted not a poem but part of a story Im writing. If you would be so kind as to comment it, it shall be appreciated greatly.
And if I'm not allowed to post stories and this is deleted please inform me.
The morning started with a high pitched and melodiously sterile ring. It was the ring of a morning alarm clock. It wasn't a very special alarm clock It was an alarm clock that your grandparents would find in their attic and give it to you for a house warming present when they in fact wanted to get rid of it because they had bought it on sale at a wholesome garage sale. It was though, a very happy clock. It was expecially proud of his irratating morning wail. It and it alone. It was also exceptionally proud of the climax of it's depressing morning song. It made itself happy again by playing the climax of a string of horribly wrong notes. But there was something different about this morning. It had delivered its favorite morning tune on time every day but today it felt it was "high flying" through his climax. Now it was extremely happy, it even felt as if it was on broadway. It took a good few seconds to realize it was literally "flying high" out of a 20th story window.
"Hi Mr. Clock hows your day?" The building said as it shivered in the morning breeze.
"I'm doing just fine" The clock replied as it fell to it's death.
Eric stretched his arm out of the window. Coincidently the very same window the clock flew out of. He got up but not out of bed when he realized a large white rectangular thing with strange black markings was coming straight for him. Or rather, he was heading straight for it. Eric tried to dodge it but just ended up hitting it anyway. Relieved he pulled the notice from his head. It was an eviction notice. Eric hadn't paid his rent in a while and it finally caught up with him. He reluctantly got out of bed and slugged his way in every polyphonic position possible to the kitchen. He opened the fridge and yawned, then frowned. He saw a sign in his fridge, on it, in big friendly letters bore the words "Your going to starve". Eric closed his eyes and rubbed them hard. When he opened them he was suprised to see the sign wasn't there anymore. What was there instead was a delicious looking cake with green icing. It was the kind of green you would find growing on a tree stub but it looked edibal anyway. At first Eric was suspicious. He eyed the cake for a while. After the short while that he was eying it, Eric realized he was in fact drooling with his mouth hanging open. He looked like a hungry African elephant staring at a Red wood. Slowly, trembling he reached for it. Something in the back of his head was telling something in the right hemisphere of his brain that something was wrong about this. In turn the right hemisphere complained to the left hemisphere that something in the back of the head that the brain currently occupied, was saying there was something wrong about the cake. But by the time the left hemisphere of Eric's brain listened, Eric had already eaten the whole cake.
Eric was about to say, 'That was most delicious.' but no one was around to hear it, so he felt it would sound silly if he had.
"That was most delicious." Eric said, quite unaware and unconditionally. It took him a few seconds to notice the echoe he made inside his ear drums when he said it. Eric paused and made one of those looks you make when can't figure out why you got mayonaise with your fries instead of ketchup, which you delibratly told the waiter not to give you. He then continued to make one of those looks you get when you see a 4-ton food truck from the U.K. heading for you at 100 kp/h. Eric swallowed hard and collapsed on the floor.
The world was spinning in Eric's head. But he thought the world was too big to fit in his head so he settled with the fact that the world was spinning around him. To his discomfort he opened his eyes and saw the whole world spinning in a clockwise fashion, starting with his kitchen. He then went on to think that this was impossible and tried to find another explaination to why his head felt like it had recently been hit by a 4-ton food truck from the U.K. Eric unfortunatly stumbled accross the thought that he himself was actually spinning 2 cm above the ground. This was all too nausiating and Eric decided to resettle on the fact that the world was spinning inside his head. Eric moved his hand around to see if he could anchor himself to something. He only discovered that he was in fact suspended not 2 but 5 cm in the air. Eric couldn't think. This denied all laws of physics, and all the theories he made up about the world spinning in his head. Instead of acting rationally, Eric's only reaction to this death-defying feat was to hiccup. Embarresed, he only began to hiccup more. When he actually recovered from the illusion that this was all an illusion, he thought 'life can't get worse then suspending 5 cm off the floor of the kitchen after eating a cake that had a delicious looking green icing on it.' Oh poor Eric, it did. Eric began to slowly rise off the 5 cm plateu between him and his very stable, wont-go-flying-5cm-off-the-ground floor. Slowly rising and terrified to the hiccups, Eric began to rise faster. To us, we could have used him as a continental breakfast table. But for him, he felt the ceiling was mad at him and it was rushing for him like a 4-ton fo-- no, like a ... very angry wall rushing toward you. Just when Eric was 5 cm from the ceiling, there was a knock on the door. At that moment Eric relieved himself that the wall wasn't angry at him and it wasn't colapsing on him after all. He was happy to find the laws of physics actually worked. He was happy for about the amount of time it takes someone to fall to the floor from 5 cm off the ceiling. Then he became pissed off.
And if I'm not allowed to post stories and this is deleted please inform me.
The morning started with a high pitched and melodiously sterile ring. It was the ring of a morning alarm clock. It wasn't a very special alarm clock It was an alarm clock that your grandparents would find in their attic and give it to you for a house warming present when they in fact wanted to get rid of it because they had bought it on sale at a wholesome garage sale. It was though, a very happy clock. It was expecially proud of his irratating morning wail. It and it alone. It was also exceptionally proud of the climax of it's depressing morning song. It made itself happy again by playing the climax of a string of horribly wrong notes. But there was something different about this morning. It had delivered its favorite morning tune on time every day but today it felt it was "high flying" through his climax. Now it was extremely happy, it even felt as if it was on broadway. It took a good few seconds to realize it was literally "flying high" out of a 20th story window.
"Hi Mr. Clock hows your day?" The building said as it shivered in the morning breeze.
"I'm doing just fine" The clock replied as it fell to it's death.
Eric stretched his arm out of the window. Coincidently the very same window the clock flew out of. He got up but not out of bed when he realized a large white rectangular thing with strange black markings was coming straight for him. Or rather, he was heading straight for it. Eric tried to dodge it but just ended up hitting it anyway. Relieved he pulled the notice from his head. It was an eviction notice. Eric hadn't paid his rent in a while and it finally caught up with him. He reluctantly got out of bed and slugged his way in every polyphonic position possible to the kitchen. He opened the fridge and yawned, then frowned. He saw a sign in his fridge, on it, in big friendly letters bore the words "Your going to starve". Eric closed his eyes and rubbed them hard. When he opened them he was suprised to see the sign wasn't there anymore. What was there instead was a delicious looking cake with green icing. It was the kind of green you would find growing on a tree stub but it looked edibal anyway. At first Eric was suspicious. He eyed the cake for a while. After the short while that he was eying it, Eric realized he was in fact drooling with his mouth hanging open. He looked like a hungry African elephant staring at a Red wood. Slowly, trembling he reached for it. Something in the back of his head was telling something in the right hemisphere of his brain that something was wrong about this. In turn the right hemisphere complained to the left hemisphere that something in the back of the head that the brain currently occupied, was saying there was something wrong about the cake. But by the time the left hemisphere of Eric's brain listened, Eric had already eaten the whole cake.
Eric was about to say, 'That was most delicious.' but no one was around to hear it, so he felt it would sound silly if he had.
"That was most delicious." Eric said, quite unaware and unconditionally. It took him a few seconds to notice the echoe he made inside his ear drums when he said it. Eric paused and made one of those looks you make when can't figure out why you got mayonaise with your fries instead of ketchup, which you delibratly told the waiter not to give you. He then continued to make one of those looks you get when you see a 4-ton food truck from the U.K. heading for you at 100 kp/h. Eric swallowed hard and collapsed on the floor.
The world was spinning in Eric's head. But he thought the world was too big to fit in his head so he settled with the fact that the world was spinning around him. To his discomfort he opened his eyes and saw the whole world spinning in a clockwise fashion, starting with his kitchen. He then went on to think that this was impossible and tried to find another explaination to why his head felt like it had recently been hit by a 4-ton food truck from the U.K. Eric unfortunatly stumbled accross the thought that he himself was actually spinning 2 cm above the ground. This was all too nausiating and Eric decided to resettle on the fact that the world was spinning inside his head. Eric moved his hand around to see if he could anchor himself to something. He only discovered that he was in fact suspended not 2 but 5 cm in the air. Eric couldn't think. This denied all laws of physics, and all the theories he made up about the world spinning in his head. Instead of acting rationally, Eric's only reaction to this death-defying feat was to hiccup. Embarresed, he only began to hiccup more. When he actually recovered from the illusion that this was all an illusion, he thought 'life can't get worse then suspending 5 cm off the floor of the kitchen after eating a cake that had a delicious looking green icing on it.' Oh poor Eric, it did. Eric began to slowly rise off the 5 cm plateu between him and his very stable, wont-go-flying-5cm-off-the-ground floor. Slowly rising and terrified to the hiccups, Eric began to rise faster. To us, we could have used him as a continental breakfast table. But for him, he felt the ceiling was mad at him and it was rushing for him like a 4-ton fo-- no, like a ... very angry wall rushing toward you. Just when Eric was 5 cm from the ceiling, there was a knock on the door. At that moment Eric relieved himself that the wall wasn't angry at him and it wasn't colapsing on him after all. He was happy to find the laws of physics actually worked. He was happy for about the amount of time it takes someone to fall to the floor from 5 cm off the ceiling. Then he became pissed off.