Knocking on Heaven's Door

[Pensive]

Wrote this poem in free verse last night. The title inspiration comes from Avril lavigne's song, "Knocking on Heaven's Door". Any comments would be very much welcome. :)

He broke their hearts
Shattered their hopes
A soul-crusher he has been

The one who killed others' soul
Left them without their insides in them
Without thinking how they could survive without spirit
A killer he has been

Finally the killer wakes up
At last the soul-crusher realizes
Even after killing and crushing souls
He has not received what he looked for
The happiness he has not got
The happiness which makes life look good
The happiness inside his heart which is not

He wants to repent
Is there any way back?
Would he turn up worse than the ones he killed?
Would he drink himself the more dangerous poison than the one he persuaded others to have?
Or would he have his desire sometime ful-filled?
Would he enter the door of contentedness?
The door of happiness?
The world without his past actions haunting him?
The Heaven

He has no key
But would the door hear his plea?
Would it hear his knocks?
Would it somehow yield?
Would it bring him some good to plead?
Or would he die knocking on this heaven's door?
For him the good place would have nothing in store?

[Pendragon]

It's good, Pensy. It just brings back memories of a horrible event: Jonestown. And no, he didn't have the courage to drink the posion he encourged hundreds of others, whole families with children to drink. He shot himself. A dark poem, but well written.


This part might need a little work, "has not got" doesn't roll off the tongue so well. Try "hasn't recieved" or something like that.


Finally the killer wakes up
At last the soul-crusher realizes
Even after killing and crushing souls
He has not got what he looked for
The happiness he has not got
The happiness which makes life look good
The happiness inside his heart which is not


http://i94.photobucket.com/albums/l108/AbsalomKane/Bluebird.gif

[symphony]

Never knew thats a pop title when i wrote "Memories afresh! I've knocked on heaven's doors once!" :p thats 3 cheers for Avril lavigne, Pensive, and symphony!! :lol:
However, thats a good work up there, Pensive. :)

[littlewing53]

bob dylan also sang a song of that same title...that's what brought me to the post...i enjoyed reading your poem, pensive....it brought the image of satan to mind...the soul-crusher...trolling the earth seeking whom he may devour...

[Pensive]

It's good, Pensy. It just brings back memories of a horrible event: Jonestown. And no, he didn't have the courage to drink the posion he encourged hundreds of others, whole families with children to drink. He shot himself. A dark poem, but well written.


This part might need a little work, "has not got" doesn't roll off the tongue so well. Try "hasn't recieved" or something like that.

Yeah, he must have a stone-like heart to persuade so many children to have the poison. :(

Thanks for your encouragement, Pen! I think you are right, so I have edited this part.


Never knew thats a pop title when i wrote "Memories afresh! I've knocked on heaven's doors once!" thats 3 cheers for Avril lavigne, Pensive, and symphony!!
However, thats a good work up there, Pensive.

Heh, many of us like knocking on this door I think. And well, it's good to know one is not alone in this. :p Thanks for the comment!


bob dylan also sang a song of that same title...that's what brought me to the post...i enjoyed reading your poem, pensive....it brought the image of satan to mind...the soul-crusher...trolling the earth seeking whom he may devour...

Yep, I just checked it out. Of the same title it was. Good song but heart-breaking. Thanks for taking the time to read and comment on it.

I think one can interpret this poem in many ways...