Pay back

[Momtaz]

I killed it the soul of vengeance of mine
I put out the misery and took a rest for a while

Taking a deep breath before the next dive
But i am not sure if i will have a chance to breath out alive

It is a very long journey to the core
where i have been told that i will find what i want
They said also it wont be easy as i may lose much in front

I know i am cursed since birth
And i will remain damned till the death
I will never go back to the asylum where i was locked before
Until i fulfill what i have promised and achieving more

Cause every life chance and death-escaping is a sign
That there is still much more to do and much debts to sign

Being trapped inside myself in thoughts wont leave me free
hurt is how i feel hanged from neck with a rope to a tree

If people asked you about a light that dose not glow in my eyes
tell them its not my fault it's the light's
I am not a darkness lover and i haven't upset the light

[MysticalWriter]

Hm, well written. I believe if you include the punctuation, you can have an (moreso) effective writing.
I do not however undstand the last:

If people asked you about a light that dose not glow in my eyes
tell them its not my fault it's the light's
I am not a darkness lover and i haven't upset the light

I read it over and over; I cannot come up with anything =)

[Momtaz]

I do not however undstand the last:

If people asked you about a light that dose not glow in my eyes
tell them its not my fault it's the light's
I am not a darkness lover and i haven't upset the light

I read it over and over; I cannot come up with anything =)

well its said to be Mystical that (Life is a light u can notice its glow in the eyes) and it means literally HOPE.
so its light of HOPE (life) that does not glow in my eyes but the prob is not about me its about the light (HOPE) and im not a darkness (gloominess) lover and i havent upset the light (HOPE)

i wish i cleared it enough although i think it was
Thanx for ur comment :D

[Pendragon]

Two things:

One: Your poem is doing fine with the two line stanzas. Stick with that. If there is more you need to say at some point, don't overload the lines, break it into two stanzas.

Two: Don't try to explain your poetry. Poetry is a lost like a Rorschach inkblot test: everyone will get something different out of it. And that is how it should be!

Good luck, fellow poet!

http://i94.photobucket.com/albums/l108/AbsalomKane/Smilies/PuppyLove.gif

[MysticalWriter]

well its said to be Mystical that (Life is a light u can notice its glow in the eyes) and it means literally HOPE.
so its light of HOPE (life) that does not glow in my eyes but the prob is not about me its about the light (HOPE) and im not a darkness (gloominess) lover and i havent upset the light (HOPE)

i wish i cleared it enough although i think it was
Thanx for ur comment :D

Ah, ok! Thank you. Learn something new everyday, eh? Good job!