LOVE is a Mental Illness?

[Lote-Tree]

Love is a Mental Illness?

Love is an Mental Illness. So goes the Dr. Frank Tallis Thesis in his book "Love Sick". This mental Illness has been recognised and recorded in papyrus by early Egyptians thousands of years ago. The symptoms of "Love Sickness" has been well documented by Muslim Physicians and writers of the early Islamic Empires, culminating in the writing of the all-time classic Love Story of "Layla and Majnun" - the Archeytype of all love stories. Love at First Sight, The Exhileration of meeting, The Infinite Possibilites of joy, The Love Triangle, Unrequited Love, The Separation, Yearning for the Beloved and The Madness and finally Death of the Lovers in the absence of each other.

Love starts off with joyfulness but it's a joy that has the inenvitable sadness attached to it. The High's and Lows of Love Sickness is same as that of a manic depressive - a mental illness that is now fully recongnised and has some effective remedy for it. Although love sickness is no longer recognised as an illness - so goes Tallis arguments, it has symptoms that can be readily diagnosed as a mental illness. Love Sickness can kill - from Sappho jumping off a cliff for unrequited love to lovers committing suicide. Love make us irrational. It unsettles us. Turns our world's upside down. Therefore this Illness needs a ready diagnoses and needs to be treated :-)

What say you chaps and chapses?

Is love an mental Illness?

Regards,
Lote

[Countess]

Yeah. I'll add it's an addiction too - (making a sufferer a "dual diagnosis"), because one gets totally high off of it, then when the lover leaves without so much as "goodbye", one goes through severe withdrawals and falls into a depression. I was "high" for about two years - a nice ride.

[Pensive]

Love Sickness can kill - from Sappho jumping off a cliff for unrequited love to lovers committing suicide.

Yes, at times, but it can make a person want to live. Breathes life into a gloomy person. Why not put it as it's a medicine for gloominess?


Love make us irrational.

I don't think so. People have very good reasons for loving. The need to love, the need to be loved are very good reasons.


It unsettles us. Turns our world's upside down.

Yes, at times, it unsettles us, but many times, it settles us. :) Turns our world into a good place, a place where we know there are people who care for us.


Therefore this Illness needs a ready diagnoses and needs to be treated :-)

I don't think so. It's not a mental illness itself but like anything else, it can cause illness. Even the longing to read a good book when he has not got any at home can turn a person upset, you can't say the books are a mental illness. One shan't read them. It all depends on the circumstances.

[Scheherazade]

Speaking from experience, Pensive? ;)

[BibliophileTRJ]

Up until recently, I would have said "Love as a Mental Illness" is hogwash, and agreed with Pensive that its more likely the cure.

However as a guy going through a rough patch in his relationship I'm beginning to see the validity of that notion. I must be crazy to put myself through this. I must be crazier for wanting to continue the battle to save the relationship.

Clearly I am crazy. Crazy over him. I love him MADLY even if he pisses me off from time to time.

[Bii]

Define 'Love'.

[Pensive]

Speaking from experience, Pensive? ;)

Yes. Experience as well as observation. :D Many mothers care for their children, and many children like it (and love back) and so do mothers. Those mothers don't feel as if they are losing energy by providing their children with love but they think are becoming more energetic and more happy. This love helps them as well as their children. I wouldn't like to call this a 'mental illness' after all. Such is the case with many other relationships/friendships.

[motherhubbard]

New love can be sickening. I remember the turmoil and joy I felt when my husband and I started dating. I had chronic stomach trouble until we had been married for about six or seven years. Now we have a more sustaining love it is just joy, comfort and confidence. I wouldn’t go back to new love for anything. Although, sometimes I miss the spontaneity.

[Lote-Tree]

Yeah. I'll add it's an addiction too - (making a sufferer a "dual diagnosis"), because one gets totally high off of it, then when the lover leaves without so much as "goodbye", one goes through severe withdrawals and falls into a depression. I was "high" for about two years - a nice ride.

Good point regarding Addiction.

Perhaps thats why many chase after the "highs" over and over again.

Tallis notes that men readily fall in love than women. But symptoms are just as same.


Yes, at times, but it can make a person want to live. Breathes life into a gloomy person. Why not put it as it's a medicine for gloominess?


But we can be perfectly happy without love. Therefore love is a sickness that needs to be overcome. Gloominess can be traced back to some form of love. The whole tradition of European Poetry "Meloncholia" has it's roots in lack of love.



I don't think so. People have very good reasons for loving. The need to love, the need to be loved are very good reasons.


But we can be perfectly happy without love?



Yes, at times, it unsettles us, but many times, it settles us. :) Turns our world into a good place, a place where we know there are people who care for us.


But only for transient moment. Love has it's joys but the pain is very prolonged and unneccessary?



I don't think so. It's not a mental illness itself but like anything else, it can cause illness.


But it has same symptoms as a manic depressives? or other mental illnesses?

[Pensive]

But we can be perfectly happy without love.

You can't be too sure about that. And even if you think we can be perfectly happy without love, it doesn't make love a mental illness.


Therefore love is a sickness that needs to be overcome.

Therefore love is not a sickness.



But only for transient moment. Love has it's joys but the pain is very prolonged and unneccessary?

I disagree. In every case, there is not a pain in love.


But it has same symptoms as a manic depressives? or other mental illnesses?

Well, it, like other emotions, can cause illness. Anger can cause mental illness, so can fear and hate. But anything that causes sickness doesn't have to be 'sickness' itself. Even a cake can cause sickness, but it doesn't have to be considered an sickness itself.

[Lote-Tree]

You can't be too sure about that.


Yes. We can be. We are perfectly happy until Love Sickness struck us. The experiences are quite Universal...



And even if you think we can be perfectly happy without love, it doesn't make love a mental illness.


If it moves like a cat, if it sounds like a cat and if it looks like a cat then it is a cat?



Therefore love is not a sickness.


LOVE is like OCD - Obsessive Compulsive Disorder.



I disagree. In every case, there is not a pain in love.


If there is no pain then it aint love.



Well, it, like other emotions, can cause illness. Anger can cause mental illness, so can fear and hate.


These have ligitimate uses. They are not like OCD.

[motherhubbard]

are you saying that hate and anger are ligitimate and that love is not? That is a very sad statement.

[the silent x]

"I disagree. In every case, there is not a pain in love.

If there is no pain then it aint love."(quoted from lote tree and pensive)

i agree with lote, i fyou truly "love" someone, then you become attached to them, and there is extreme pain when you "love" some one and they don't like you the same amount back, since no one can look into others minds yet, we won't know when to become highly attached to a person to stop this pain from happening.

[Lote-Tree]

are you saying that hate and anger are ligitimate and that love is not? That is a very sad statement.

I am saying anger and hate is not classed as mental illness in the past or now. But the term Love Sick is old has humanity.

My personal view is this: LOVE is the most noblest of emotions. Love and compassion is what make us human.

But the argument of Dr Frank Tallis is book is focused on Romantic Love as an illness...

[Countess]

It is, indeed, noble madness and noble masochism. It's extremely noble and (not humane) divine, which is why it's like a knife through the heart and a slow death that never leads to death. One feels like one is dying but without the relief that comes with actual death, so it is a perpetual, unceasing torment of the soul...

[Pensive]

Yes. We can be. We are perfectly happy until Love Sickness struck us. The experiences are quite Universal...

Nah. It would be better to put it this way: We are perfectly happy until the need to love/be loved strikes us. This shows the lack of love (not any presence of love) is the cause of this sickness, not love.


If it moves like a cat, if it sounds like a cat and if it looks like a cat then it is a cat?

You are mistaken here. My belief is it causes happiness as well as sadness, so its movement is half like that of cat, its sound and looks are partly like that of a cat but it doesn't make it a cat. In other words, it doesn't make it a sickness itself. :)


LOVE is like OCD - Obsessive Compulsive Disorder.

Whatever love is, it's not a mental illness/disorder.


If there is no pain then it aint love.


i agree with lote, i fyou truly "love" someone, then you become attached to them, and there is extreme pain when you "love" some one and they don't like you the same amount back, since no one can look into others minds yet, we won't know when to become highly attached to a person to stop this pain from happening.

What if they like you back? And they show it. You have got to be happy then. You ought not to pain yourself. And there are some people who when love someone (have seen myself) don't want the other to love them back, but to lead a happy life him/herself. And if the other one is leading a happy life, he feels good. So it necessarily doesn't have to be a pain.

But many times, yes, it's a pain. But not always. There are some very firm believers who love what they call God so much that they say that this love has relieved them from pain rather than make their life painful. You would find them happy and contented. You wouldn't see them trying to commit suicide. What do you think about this love?

[the silent x]

[QUOTE=Pensive;392516]What if they like you back? And they show it. You have got to be happy then. You ought not to pain yourself. And there are some people who when love someone (have seen myself) don't want the other to love them back, but to lead a happy life him/herself. And if the other one is leading a happy life, he feels good. So it necessarily doesn't have to be a pain.[QUOTE]

there's were i think i have the conversation kinda mixed up. i am talking about the pain afterward. i went out with a girl and we both liked each other, we were like *insert two objects that complement each other* times 100. and at a dance, i guess my hand was on her rear and not on her hip like i was trying to do, and she said that maybe we should stop seeing each other. i still can't let her go, of course, not many people form bonds like me, if you an di become friends, nothing in heaven or hell will let me forget it.

[Pensive]

What if they like you back? And they show it. You have got to be happy then. You ought not to pain yourself. And there are some people who when love someone (have seen myself) don't want the other to love them back, but to lead a happy life him/herself. And if the other one is leading a happy life, he feels good. So it necessarily doesn't have to be a pain.

there's were i think i have the conversation kinda mixed up. i am talking about the pain afterward. i went out with a girl and we both liked each other, we were like *insert two objects that complement each other* times 100. and at a dance, i guess my hand was on her rear and not on her hip like i was trying to do, and she said that maybe we should stop seeing each other. i still can't let her go, of course, not many people form bonds like me, if you an di become friends, nothing in heaven or hell will let me forget it.

I am sorry for that. I know it's hard. But sometimes the situation is different. Like the one I mentioned in my earlier post.

[nomoredrama28]

love is a word

[the silent x]

people need to be loved, i'll give you that, but how many wars were started over love, and i am encompassing all of love, family, friend, lover, religion, etc..., there is a war that has been going on over thousands of years becasue "i love my god enough to put down my life for him and prove that yours is wrong", it's between Sunni's and Shiites, (pardon any misspellings). the trojans were wiped out because some kings daughter was kidnapped by someone who loved her. also love is a life saver, if someone wants to commit suicide, but someone, be it a ex-girlfriend that still cares about what the kid does with his life, or his parents, or a best friend, even someone off the street because you can argue that compassion is a form of love.


love is a word

with four letters? (sarcasm is supposed to be dripping)

[nomoredrama28]

nope, 5 letters

[Shalot]

I wouldn't say love is a mental illness. Love is normal. It's something that normal people do. It's the ones who can't love that you've got to worry about.

True, people can do some insane things because of unrequited love, or because of who they love, or what his/her lover has done to him/her, but it's not love that makes them crazy.

[motherhubbard]

My personal view is this: LOVE is the most nobles of emotions. Love and compassion is what make us human


Every time you say what you really thing about something it makes me smile!

[Lote-Tree]

It is, indeed, noble madness and noble masochism. It's extremely noble and (not humane) divine, which is why it's like a knife through the heart and a slow death that never leads to death. One feels like one is dying but without the relief that comes with actual death, so it is a perpetual, unceasing torment of the soul...

Countess you and I seemed to share similiar experiences...knife throught the heart? I would say it is hot-iron through the soul!!...we must have been twins in our previous lives!!!!

yes definately a madness!!!...those ancient writers got is so right!!!

Mental Illness? Addiction? Yes add them to the list too - No wonder it is known as Love Sickness!!!


Every time you say what you really think about something it makes me smile!

If it makes someone smile then it must be a good thing :-)

But my thoughts are worthless as a used tissue paper...so I would not take it seriously :-)


I wouldn't say love is a mental illness. Love is normal. It's something that normal people do. It's the ones who can't love that you've got to worry about.


But if you to tell your doctor of your symptoms then the Dr would by Medical Text book diagnoses - prescribe anti-depressant like Prozac. Is that normal?

[ennison]

You can live without it. You can live after your arms and legs get chopped off too.

[Redzeppelin]

Love isn't mental illness - it's a choice that may reveal a "mental illness "of sorts. Infatuation makes us do stupid things, but we can't claim mental illness - we pretty much knew what we were doing when we jumped into this mess...

[kathycf]

While understanding that some people may develop unhealthy infatuations or obsessions, and that a broken heart is a miserable, dark and lonely thing...I have to wonder something. People develop eating disorders, should we do away with food? People develop insomnia, should sleeping be eliminated? No, because people need to eat and they need to sleep.

While I am sure people can survive without love (far better than they could manage without sleep or food), can they live well without it? Isn't it a quality of life issue?

On a weirdly related note, when I read the title for this thread it reminded me of that old song...(If Loving You Is Wrong) I Don't Want to Be Right :p If love is outlawed, only outlaws will have love! Or something like that.

[nomoredrama28]

You can live without it. You can live after your arms and legs get chopped off too.

true! but you cant live when your head gets cut off!;)

[nomoredrama28]

love is toxic!

but then again, so is water if you drink too much of it.

[Moira]

There was a quote i loved, it goes something like this:

He/She who doesn't fear anything, doesn't love anything or doesn't love anything strong enough so that he/she would fear .....
I tried to translate it but i'm not happy with the result:(. Anyway ....

Love cannot be a mental illness ..... it can though lead to mental illness and Kathycf has a good point......

There are people who ''who cannot cope with the intensity of love, have been destabilised by falling in love, or suffer on account of their love being unrequited." ...... but there are also many happy situations .......

But how long do you think love can last? I somehow cannot believe in 'loving someone forever', at a certain point it's not love anymore ..... and i'm not talking about a parent loving his/her child, that is different.

[Bii]

Well, I assume you are talking 'romantic' love only here, as love exists beyond romance, i.e. the love we feel for children, family members, friends etc. Without those forms of love I think most people would struggle.

As for whether romantic love is a mental illness - isn't mental illness something considered to be abnormal? If that is the case then love can't be a mental illness as it is the norm (i.e. the majority of people experience it, the minority do not (assuming anyone does not)).

I'd tend to agree with Red here, it may reveal mental instability but does not cause it. It feels like madness though!



But how long do you think love can last? I somehow cannot believe in 'loving someone forever', at a certain point it's not love anymore ..... and i'm not talking about a parent loving his/her child, that is different.

What a shame Moira, because I do believe that love can last forever. Perhaps you need to redefine your expectations - desire, passion etc do not last, but love does (I blame hollywood!). My favourite description of love is from Captain Corelli's Mandolin, and I think this pretty much sums up how I feel about it:

"Love is a temporary madness, it erupts like volcanoes and then subsides. And when it subsides you have to make a decision. You have to work out whether your roots have so entwined together that it is inconceivable that you should ever part. Because that's what love is. Love is not breathlessness, it is not excitement, it is not the promulgation of promises of eternal passion, it is not the desire to mate every second minute of the day, it is not lying awake at night imagining that he is kissing every cranny of your body. No, don't blush, I am telling you some truths. That is just being 'in love', which any fool can do. Love itself is what is left over when being in love has burned away, and this is both an art and an unfortunate accident."

[Lote-Tree]

Nah. It would be better to put it this way: We are perfectly happy until the need to love/be loved strikes us. This shows the lack of love (not any presence of love) is the cause of this sickness, not love.


Symantics will not save you :-)



You are mistaken here. My belief is it causes happiness as well as sadness, so its movement is half like that of cat, its sound and looks are partly like that of a cat but it doesn't make it a cat. In other words, it doesn't make it a sickness itself. :)


I have not said it does not causes happiness. Falling in Love is one of the most exhilerating exeperience. But that is the infection that leads to the sickness. This virus must be diagnosed earlier enough and eradicated :-)



Whatever love is, it's not a mental illness/disorder.




Love Sickness:
Symptoms can include mania, such as an elevated mood and inflated self-esteem, or depression, revealing itself as tearfulness and insomnia...Aspects of obsessive compulsive disorder can also be found in those experiencing lovesickness, such as preoccupation and obsessively checking for text messages and e-mails


Seems like illness, feels like illness and behaves like an illness. Thus it is an illness :-)



What if they like you back? And they show it. You have got to be happy then. You ought not to pain yourself.


If it is that simple then it would that easy! Even when love is requited - it is not the end of the story. The love-sickness continues for a long time.



And there are some people who when love someone (have seen myself) don't want the other to love them back, but to lead a happy life him/herself.


Really? I don't understand this. Why would anyone want not be loved in return? It does not make sense.



But many times, yes, it's a pain.


And we want end to this pain. Just like a cancer patient wants an end to his pain.



There are some very firm believers who love what they call God so much that they say that this love has relieved them from pain rather than make their life painful.


Rumi and other mystical poets would disagree. The Yearning of the beloved continues till death and this yearning is coupled with sadness, sorrow and pain...there are moments of extreme exhileration no doubt...thus it leads to the mental illness of that of a manic depressive.


Love isn't mental illness - it's a choice that may reveal a "mental illness "of sorts. Infatuation makes us do stupid things, but we can't claim mental illness - we pretty much knew what we were doing when we jumped into this mess...

If love is a choice then I think we would not make it. But love is not a choice but love is something that happens to you. An invisible hand that reaches out and touches something deep inside and you have no choice but to respond to the joy and madness of it all....


While understanding that some people may develop unhealthy infatuations or obsessions, and that a broken heart is a miserable, dark and lonely thing...I have to wonder something. People develop eating disorders, should we do away with food? People develop insomnia, should sleeping be eliminated? No, because people need to eat and they need to sleep.


People get treatment for insomnia and eating disorders.



While I am sure people can survive without love (far better than they could manage without sleep or food), can they live well without it? Isn't it a quality of life issue?


Sleep is not an emotion. Eating is not an emotion. It is about survival.



On a weirdly related note, when I read the title for this thread it reminded me of that old song...(If Loving You Is Wrong) I Don't Want to Be Right :p If love is outlawed, only outlaws will have love! Or something like that.

Love sickness needs to be treated as oppose to being outlawed :-)

[Moira]

Very beautiful quote Bii.:)

99% of what i see around tells me 'love cannot last forever'.:(
It can but that is indeed a fortunate accident ...... and it happens so rarely.

It doesn't last because we evolve through life, and our needs are constantly changing and love might not last unless that partner has evolved in the same direction with us, and what are the chances for that to happen?

And also in long relationships partners arrive at one point where they start taking each other for granted.

No matter how wonderful the person, after a good while with them, we really just want to try something new.

[Lote-Tree]

No matter how wonderful the person, after a good while with them, we really just want to try something new.


Love is not love which alters when it alteration finds...

[Bii]

It doesn't last because we evolve through life, and our needs are constantly changing and love might not last unless that partner has evolved in the same direction with us, and what are the chances for that to happen?

It happens if you make it happen. You have to keep talking and caring and be honest. It doesn't really take more than that. What's the longest time you've maintained a friendship? Perhaps that gives an indication of how long a relationship will last.


And also in long relationships partners arrive at one point where they start taking each other for granted.

No matter how wonderful the person, after a good while with them, we really just want to try something new.

Well, after 14 years in the same relationship I can safely say I've never felt like I needed a change, and yes there are times where you take each other for granted because you have to, but that's the point - in a long term relationship it isn't all going to be wine and roses, there will be good times and difficult times and everyone should expect that. Do people really throw all that away just because they get a bit 'bored'?! Seems a little fickle to me. Do you doubt that people always love their children, even if sometimes they don't like them too much? What's the difference?

[Moira]

It happens if you make it happen. You have to keep talking and caring and be honest. It doesn't really take more than that. What's the longest time you've maintained a friendship? Perhaps that gives an indication of how long a relationship will last.



Well, after 14 years in the same relationship I can safely say I've never felt like I needed a change, and yes there are times where you take each other for granted because you have to, but that's the point - in a long term relationship it isn't all going to be wine and roses, there will be good times and difficult times and everyone should expect that. Do people really throw all that away just because they get a bit 'bored'?! Seems a little fickle to me. Do you doubt that people always love their children, even if sometimes they don't like them too much? What's the difference?

Maintaining friendships is not the same thing, it’s not the same degree of involvement and expectations.
It has similarities but the bond between two lovers is much stronger and so is their involvement and expectations from each other.

My relationship with my best friends started in high-school, lasted throughout university and further more and as far as i am concerned they will last forever because our bond is that strong.

Maybe your case is one of the fortunate ‘accidents’ and it’s beautiful to see it does happen from time to time. Maybe you were lucky to really meet the right person.
I had a 4 years relationship that ended because we evolved in different directions and when that happens you became frustrated and realize that love does not conquer all. Looking back after a while i just know it was the right thing to do, breaking up i mean.

People ‘throw’ things away for superficial reasons, i am not saying it’s right, i agree with you that is fickle but it does happen.

I don’t doubt people loving their children no matter what, that is unconditioned love. But can you tell me you will love your partner no matter what? I’m having a hard time believing that.


Love is not love which alters when it alteration finds...

I agree Lote, but tell me how many examples of that you see when you look around?

[Lote-Tree]

I agree Lote, but tell me how many examples of that you see when you look around?

:-) Poetry Moira - aspires for the Ideal. Shakespeare's Marriage of True Minds is indeed such an aspirations. That sonnet is one of the most evocative ideal of a Platonic Love. That is why Poetry makes us sick because it makes us feel inadequate in our failure to achieve that idealism :-(

But you are right Idealism and Practicality are not the same thing. No matter how much you love an individual, living with another individual on a permanent basis from day to day is one of the hardest thing in the world...

[Moira]

:-) Poetry Moira - aspires for the Ideal. Shakespeare's Marriage of True Minds is indeed such an aspirations. That sonnet is one of the most evocative ideal of a Platonic Love. That is why Poetry makes us sick because it makes us feel inadequate in our failure to achieve that idealism :-(

But you are right Idealism and Practicality are not the same thing. No matter how much you love an individual, living with another individual on a permanent basis from day to day is one of the hardest thing in the world...

Totally agree Lote, very well said.

I'm not saying that it's not possible, it's just that it happens so rarely that it became an exception to the rule and that is just sad.:(

[Bii]

Maintaining friendships is not the same thing, it’s not the same degree of involvement and expectations.
It has similarities but the bond between two lovers is much stronger and so is their involvement and expectations from each other.

Perhaps that's where you're going wrong, and where people go wrong in general. My husband, to me, is always my friend first, he's my best friend.


My relationship with my best friends started in high-school, lasted throughout university and further more and as far as i am concerned they will last forever because our bond is that strong.

So it can be done ;)



I don’t doubt people loving their children no matter what, that is unconditioned love. But can you tell me you will love your partner no matter what? I’m having a hard time believing that.

Of course there are things that my husband could do which would test my love for him, for example if he were to become violent or had an affair (but that's pretty much it). In that scenario he would no longer be the person that I love. That being said, I'd imagine walking away from that relationship would be the hardest thing to do, and I'd probably still love him even so (or the 'him' that wasn't violent or adulterous).

I'm pretty sure that there are things that children do which test their parents love in an equivalent way. Imagine if one of your children killed another one of your children. Would your love still be unconditional then?

[kathycf]

Sleep is not an emotion. Eating is not an emotion. It is about survival.
I would courteously suggest you re-read what I wrote again, as I certainly did not suggest it was. What I said was it was a quality of life issue. I did not say people could not survive without it. Please don't put words into my mouth.

[Lote-Tree]

I would courteously suggest you re-read what I wrote again, as I certainly did not suggest it was. What I said was it was a quality of life issue. I did not say people could not survive without it. Please don't put words into my mouth.

I was going of this:



People develop insomnia, should sleeping be eliminated? No, because people need to eat and they need to sleep.


The analogy with needing love and sleep is I think incorrect.

[Turk]

Love is not a mental illness. Because love is necessary and no illness is necessity, everyone looks for love in their lives. If not a women's or man's love, at least looks for God love. Everyone wants to be loved. Only some people's love is kind of psychological problem, as an example, a girl who raised without father may always look for a strong and dominant man in her lifetime and can't be able to look for true love because of her obsession.

[kathycf]

I was going of this:

The analogy with needing love and sleep is I think incorrect.
How about this part? :)


No, because people need to eat and they need to sleep.

While I am sure people can survive without love (far better than they could manage without sleep or food), can they live well without it? Isn't it a quality of life issue?

[Lote-Tree]

How about this part? :)

Noted :-)

Thanks.

[Virgil]

Actually just considered this thread. I haven't read through the entire thread so I don't know if this was mentioned before. The notion that love is a mental illness is not a new one. It was certainly believed in the middle ages and it even figures in the 13th century work "The Romance of the Rose." I can't help but feel that I've come across this in Shakespeare many times.

[Lote-Tree]

Actually just considered this thread. I haven't read through the entire thread so I don't know if this was mentioned before. The notion that love is a mental illness is not a new one. It was certainly believed in the middle ages and it even figures in the 13th century work "The Romance of the Rose." I can't help but feel that I've come across this in Shakespeare many times.

Yep that is correct and in that start of the thread I have mentioned that. Love Sickness is as old as humanity :-)

[Virgil]

Yep that is correct and in that start of the thread I have mentioned that. Love Sickness is as old as humanity :-)

Oh sorry for repeating.

[Wizard272002]

Define 'Love'.

"Love is a many splendred thing," to quote a song. (Can't remember it.)

[Bii]

"Love is a many splendred thing," to quote a song. (Can't remember it.)

Wasn't that in Grease?...

Don't forget "love lifts us up where we belong..."

[Scheherazade]

"Love is a many splendred thing," to quote a song. (Can't remember it.)Frank Sinatra and Nat King Cole sang it among many other singers of their day.

From the soundtrack of the movie (http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0048316/) with the same title.

I had a doll named Han Suyin as a toddler. :D

[Pensive]

I have not said it does not causes happiness. Falling in Love is one of the most exhilerating exeperience. But that is the infection that leads to the sickness. This virus must be diagnosed earlier enough and eradicated :-)


I told you already, I think it can lead to sickness (like most of the other emotions, things, etc) but it doesn't make it a sickness.


If it is that simple then it would that easy! Even when love is requited - it is not the end of the story. The love-sickness continues for a long time.

Some people are happy with what they love and how they love it. Everyone doesn't commit sucide.


Really? I don't understand this. Why would anyone want not be loved in return? It does not make sense.

Why do people help others in this forum? Some of them don't ask for anything in return. Their own conscience is happy with it. I am sorry if this doesn't make any sense to you...but to some it does.


And we want end to this pain. Just like a cancer patient wants an end to his pain.

And this doesn't make love a sickness.


Rumi and other mystical poets would disagree. The Yearning of the beloved continues till death and this yearning is coupled with sadness, sorrow and pain...there are moments of extreme exhileration no doubt...thus it leads to the mental illness of that of a manic depressive.

Let them disagree. Many poets/philosophers/other people might disagree with this that love is a sickness... And anyway, I saw the influence of love of God on people by my very own eyes and their contentedness, and it's enough to make me believe love is not a sickness. But at times, it is a cure for illness.

[nomoredrama28]

love is a bunch of bologne.

[Lote-Tree]

Why do people help others in this forum?


It is nothing to do with Romantic Love for sure :-)



Some of them don't ask for anything in return.


You said - you love someone but you don't want them to love you back - this is bizzare.



Their own conscience is happy with it. I am sorry if this doesn't make any sense to you...but to some it does.


What you are talking about is unconditional love where it does not matter if someone loves you or not but you love them still. This is fine. But when you say you don't want somone to love that is bit strange...unless of course I misunderstood your earlier post.

[Bii]

love is a bunch of bologne.

Isn't that in Italy?

[Pensive]

It is nothing to do with Romantic Love for sure :-)
You said - you love someone but you don't want them to love you back - this is bizzare.

I didn't say we don't want them to love us back (most people like to be loved, and wouldn't like a person not to love them). But sometimes all we want is to see them happy. We don't want anything from them. Love is not always about 'give' and 'take'. Anyway, I thought we were talking about 'love' generally as the title suggests...Didn't know we had to be specific about this 'romantic love'.


What you are talking about is unconditional love where it does not matter if someone loves you or not but you love them still. This is fine. But when you say you don't want somone to love that is bit strange...unless of course I misunderstood your earlier post.

Yes, I am sorry if I created some kind of misunderstanding, but what I meant was that if someone doesn't love you back, you can still be happy with your life because he is happy. For you are the one who loves him. Of course, you would like him to love you but his happiness is what you want at the first place.

[Lote-Tree]

Yes, I am sorry if I created some kind of misunderstanding, but what I meant was that if someone doesn't love you back, you can still be happy with your life because he is happy. For you are the one who loves him. Of course, you would like him to love you but his happiness is what you want at the first place.

No problema :-)

So it's a "him" that you are in love with then :D

Regards,
Lote

[littlewing53]

bologna, italy...hilarious

love is the perfect emotion that fills all hearts...it aches, it smiles, it fills you and then empties you...i wouldn't have it any other way...

[Nightshade]

of "Layla and Majnun" - What say you chaps and chapses?

Is love an mental Illness?

Regards,
Lote

Can I just say first off I really really HATE that story ...and all love songs with the name layla in them and the inevitable " so where is quais ( this is magnuns actual name magunu being arabic for crazy/mad/ insane) then?




LOVE is like OCD - Obsessive Compulsive Disorder.


You be onto more than you think there, I think recent resarch said something like more than 1 in 5 people have a form of OCD.

Well, I assume you are talking 'romantic' love only here, as love exists beyond romance, i.e. the love we feel for children, family members, friends etc. Without those forms of love I think most people would struggle.



I think Ive said this before but I dont believe in any form of love. I think its a over romatisised ( the irony of using this word is not lost on me but I cant think of a different term) way of generalising a whole load of things that for the most part are rooted in chemicals and evolutionary drives. The only form of 'love' I can think of outside this equastion is the 'love' of God.
Love is IMO a story someone invented back at the dawn of 'civilization' to make people feel seperate from animals, and hey it works, so good for them , I just personally dont buy it. THat is not to say of course that Im not a sucker for a good love story but I also love most kinds of fantasy stories and I tend to lump them in the same boat. End of semi-rant. ( yes I do know this makes me seem like a bitter person I think after one rant at school when I was 14 when I was sick of people going on and on I got 2 response s your going to end up a bitter old spister with lots of cats and are you even human.

Actually I guess the truth is really Ive never quite seen the point in it especially when it comes to 12 and 14 year olds dating. It always seemd like ridculous waste of energy and emotion, I mean seriously its not going to go anywhere really so what on earth is the point. the class got into this discussion same year when I was 14 and it was me and one guy singing this tune and the rest of the class trying to convince us we were nuts. But like we both said ( note this is egypt where dating is a bit of a social grey area anyway) its fine when your old enough to get married or whatever so you actually get something out of the emotional and time invesetd otherwise its a distraction and just a waste of time.

Really no offence meant to any one who is in love I think I have mentioned before that also IMO that all truth is realtive and becasue it doesnt exsist for me it doesnt mean it doesnt exsist as a concrete fact for someone else.

[Pensive]

I think Ive said this before but I dont believe in any form of love. I think its a over romatisised ( the irony of using this word is not lost on me but I cant think of a different term) way of generalising a whole load of things that for the most part are rooted in chemicals and evolutionary drives. The only form of 'love' I can think of outside this equastion is the 'love' of God.
Love is IMO a story someone invented back at the dawn of 'civilization' to make people feel seperate from animals, and hey it works, so good for them , I just personally dont buy it. THat is not to say of course that Im not a sucker for a good love story but I also love most kinds of fantasy stories and I tend to lump them in the same boat. End of semi-rant. ( yes I do know this makes me seem like a bitter person I think after one rant at school when I was 14 when I was sick of people going on and on I got 2 response s your going to end up a bitter old spister with lots of cats and are you even human.

Actually I guess the truth is really Ive never quite seen the point in it especially when it comes to 12 and 14 year olds dating. It always seemd like ridculous waste of energy and emotion, I mean seriously its not going to go anywhere really so what on earth is the point. the class got into this discussion same year when I was 14 and it was me and one guy singing this tune and the rest of the class trying to convince us we were nuts. But like we both said ( note this is egypt where dating is a bit of a social grey area anyway) its fine when your old enough to get married or whatever so you actually get something out of the emotional and time invesetd otherwise its a distraction and just a waste of time.

Really no offence meant to any one who is in love I think I have mentioned before that also IMO that all truth is realtive and becasue it doesnt exsist for me it doesnt mean it doesnt exsist as a concrete fact for someone else.

My Oxford dictionary defines love as many things but the first thing is deep affection or fondness. We, not native speakers of English have to rely on dictionaries a lot you see. :p So according to what the dictionary says, the dialogues of actors and actresses don't seem cheap (or over-used) in the light of it to me.

You see we can have a deep affection or fondness for many people, and even things. By not believing in love you would have to deny ever having fondness for books. :p So this attitude is also understandable that people break up with their boyfriends/girlfriends because you can't be sure your fondness/affection would last forever.

Love might be looking simple if we consider its one meaning from the dictionary but the thing is up to the extent it can take people, makes it a wide topic in the eyes of poets/philosophers/etc. Some people are so much fond of a person that they can't live without her/him (perhaps that's why Majnun died for Layla). It depends from person to person and to what extent he loves the other person/thing.

Heh, I might have rambled a bit here about my (what may seem to many) a silly theory but this is how I feel about it, couldn't resist expressing myself.


So it's a "him" that you are in love with then

What makes you say that? :) I am fond of many people and yes, things as well. So this makes it to: They are hims, hers and its I love! :p

[Lote-Tree]

Can I just say first off I really really HATE that story ...and all love songs with the name layla in them and the inevitable " so where is quais ( this is magnuns actual name magunu being arabic for crazy/mad/ insane) then?


I am surprised that anyone would hate this Archetypal Love Story! :-( Anyone can see parts of themselves in this story :-)

Qais is his real name at the start of the story. When Madness of Love takes over him - from then he became known as "Majnun", the Crazy, the mad - an apt name!



I think Ive said this before but I dont believe in any form of love.


I think no one does until love happens. And love is indeed is something that happens to you. An invisible hand that reaches out to you and touches you for the first time and turns your world upside down.



The only form of 'love' I can think of outside this equastion is the 'love' of God.


Islamic Scholars interpret Layla and Majnun as an allegorical story of Spiritual Quest for the Love of God. Layla is a pointer to the Divine Love.



Love is IMO a story someone invented back at the dawn of 'civilization' to make people feel seperate from animals, and hey it works, so good for them , I just personally dont buy it.


From Evolutionary stand point: Female have a limited number of eggs - around 400. Male have an "infinite" supply of sperms. Female needs to ensure she gets best supply of sperm. Male needs to ensure that his sperm impregnates the female and not other males. Love is a mechanism to ensure that this happens :-)



yes I do know this makes me seem like a bitter person I think after one rant at school when I was 14 when I was sick of people going on and on I got 2 response s your going to end up a bitter old spister with lots of cats and are you even human.


Love is something happens to you. There is nothing to be bitter about it.

[Nightshade]

Heh :p well but correct me if Im wrong I sortof seem to rember from my brief stint doing thanawi ( kind of like a level) arabic that both rctypal arbic love stories Antar and Ablah and quais & Layla / Layal and magnun turned up in the 50 years pre islam. And isnt the version called Layla and magnun the much later version written by Sufai scholar?

[atiguhya padma]

Love is a spleen dead thing

[Lote-Tree]

Heh :p well but correct me if Im wrong I sortof seem to rember from my brief stint doing thanawi ( kind of like a level) arabic that both rctypal arbic love stories Antar and Ablah and quais & Layla / Layal and magnun turned up in the 50 years pre islam. And isnt the version called Layla and magnun the much later version written by Sufai scholar?

Ah yes varients of "layla and majnun" story must have existed before Nizami wrote the "definitive" version around 11th century.

[Lily Adams]

I heard once that happiness is a mental illness. It takes away your ability to see things how they really are. I guess you could say that. But I'm a realist all the time, no matter how happy I am.

I really can't say much because I don't have much...experience in the area.I mean, I've had crushes, but nothing too burning like love. Right? I dunno. I don't worry about it. I'm only 15.

[ajar]

love is a four letter word :D

[cranberry]

Clearly I am crazy. Crazy over him. I love him MADLY even if he pisses me off from time to time.


Oh yes yes yes ! ur right ...LOL crazily i agree! :blush:+:bawling:

Thanks for the thread ....Oh yes I am love sick from a long time
plus he does not know!

[1n50mn14]

I can't remember where I saw this (it may have been on Dispatches on Channel 4, actually), but >apparently<, the chemical composition in one's brain when in love, is similar to that of a person who suffers from OCD.

From personal experience, I'd say that yes, love IS a mental illness. When I'm around 'him' I can't think straight, I'm not myself, and when I'm away from him, I obsess, worry, and fret. Oh yeah- and I go back for more, every single time, no matter what was dished out the last time.

[Divine Comedy]

Love is not a mental sickness. In many ways its a necessity of life... How often do we want some one to care, to take care to be with... True love is never a mental sickness. It only enhances the kidn of person you are. If we say loveis a sickness then livng independently with no strings attached can also be termed as illness. It is just how you percieve things and how much of importance love or being independent has towards you. I would say love is a beautiful feeling if you are in love with that one person who is truly deeply in love with you

[librarius_qui]

What say you chaps and chapses?

Is love an mental Illness?


Love as action or love as feeling ...
(I think you're talking about the feeling.)

Is hate a mental illness?
Is jealousy a mental illness?

If everything is illness, what miserable being we humans are! ...

It's tough to get inlove, sometimes. But it's part of life. You have to deal with it.

I hear and get to know a lot about people killing people "because o love", or even killing themselves (it's kind of common in literature ...), or diing "of love" ... I think that, however interrelated, these things haven't necessarily to do with each other. The action of killing someone, as well as of commiting suicide for sentimental reason are decisions a person makes. And diing because of feelings has to do with depression. If you love someone else more than yourself, you might die because of the feeling. But if you love to live, you live along, no matter what.

Hurt, all right, but yeah, you live along.

That's what I think.


:crash:

[NikolaiI]

At its best, love is healing, and if it is not healing, it is not love.

Zen master Thich Nhat Hanh has some fascinating views on it - his and Tara Brach's have been the most transforming teachings I've encountered.

Just two are, "You must love in such a way that the person you love feels free."

And "In true love, you attain freedom."

And, it takes many lifetimes, so to speak, to get to that place where you only wish well for others. . as R.D. Laing described it, that's pretty much what it is - only wishing well for anyone, and everyone you meet.

[YesNo]

Is hate a mental illness?


I can see how hate could be a mental illness, since it causes distress, but I don't see how love could be. If something is a mental illness one would expect to look for a cure for it.