Self - Injury #3.

[Kendall]

A bit different to my usual stuff, I know it's the same topic. But, I hope you enjoy it. I haven't read over it, because lately I find myself deleting poems because I don't like them ; so I'll just see what you all think.


A smile to cover her anguish
A thousand tears hidden
Behind her wall of kisses
A thousand tears hidden
Behind her wall of laughter
She smiles to cover her pain
To cover what's lost and not found
Alone, she lets the wall down
Her mind, isolated
Alone
She breaks the wall with a tear
She breaks the wall with bloodshed
And she cries the words
'I won't let myself fall apart'
Her wall goes up
A wall of anguish
A wall of concrete
So solid, that only she can break it
If her comfort is isolation
Will she ever escape herself?

[amuse]

you know, as i read this, i remembered what a friend told me about the shared history of many people who cut. which i'd forgotten. that put a whole new spin on #3. if that's the case for you, i'm sorry and bravo.

[Kendall]

I don't understand what you're saying sorry. Please explain because I don't understand and I'd like to know so I could reply to your comment and elaborate a little. :)

[Helga]

You always say 'she', who is she? is it a friend, is it you or something else?

Great poem by the way, you seem to write a lot of depressing work, I do that to, is there some reason why you do it?
I can only write my feelings down they are hard to explain but in poetry it's easyer...

[emily655321]

Originally posted by amuse
you know, as i read this, i remembered what a friend told me about the shared history of many people who cut. which i'd forgotten. that put a whole new spin on #3. if that's the case for you, i'm sorry and bravo.

I think I know what you mean, az. Actually, I've been pondering over it (that's incorrect grammar isn't it? Oh well) and I had one of those moments of clarity. I think it's like this: We're in a society that expects everyone to be confident, assertive individuals, prizing one's own self above all else -- so much so that it is almost taboo to express negative feelings about oneself (unless it's "I'm fat," which is another issue althogether). If you're someone who has been made to feel self-hatred, for whatever reason, there's a feeling of being empty and alone, like the feeling of taking a blind leap -- but constantly, as you deny your true feelings and try to act confident and self-assured. Hurting yourself is, number one, a release of the tension developed from suppressing your emotions -- but also a comfort, a feeling of relief, to stop pretending and settle into the role that comes most naturally; that of the person at the bottom of the food chain, the one who's getting hurt. (Forgive the analogy, but it could be seen as akin to *ahem* "self love" in the absence of another person; only it's self-harm, in the absence of the abuser. That's my analysis, anyway.)

[Kendall]

Thanks for the reply.

I don't know why I say she, I guess it seems more more personal, because #1 I am a she, and #2 I can relate to what I'm writing.
I do have poems with "he" and "him" but I am yet to submit them.

[Avalive]

Injury 3#?

Smile. How can it be healed and ended?

PS:I liked the poem.

[Kendall]

"Smile. How can it be healed and ended?"

Sorry, are you asking ME a question, because I don't understand.

Thanks for your comment also.

[Suetang]

Hi Kendall

Your words spoke volumes.

Take care........Sue

[Kendall]

Thankyoo Suuue. :-P