A Revelation In Realization

[cknight]

A Revelation In Realization

Stricken down, years unkind
unkowingly decieved
Once again, years it's been
since I've felt so green
In my own relentless vision
the truth of reality cries
In my hands where dreams are banned
in relief I sigh
Nothing owed
not one thing borrowed
yet there is debt for me
Things have passed
without a thought
that now I'm beginning to see
Again it's there
out front it glares
peircing through reason's glow
Truth be known, but years to go
That day...I'll calmly show

i know it's not good(so I've been told), but i want to know what it means to you...your interpretation.

[emily655321]

At the beginning I thought maybe the narrator had been cheated on or betrayed by a friend, and felt kind of a bittersweet relief, either at their separation, or simply that the truth was out in the open. But I'm afraid I can't really make heads or tails of the end, starting at "yet there is debt for me."

[random_hero]

at yet there is debt for me it kinda starts rhyming. But the first half was cool, it was like the narrator was regretting something.

[Miranda]

I like this poem as it makes me think about each line and what it means. I like the rhythym that it has and the words that rhyme or almost rhyme without upsetting the meaning. The rhyme or 'almost rhymes,' don't dominate the poem and it still flows naturally.

I too think that it speaks of regret. I think its about someone looking back on their life and suddenly seeing it the way it actually has been instead of how they expected or thought it was . I think this person is suddenly facing up to reality and realising life has been lacking in some way that they never admitted to before. It's a sad poem.

It speaks of a person who has always thought of themselves as self sufficient and in control - 'no debt, nothing borrowed' etc - yet feeling they have missed something. Dreams are banned..perhaps it's the dream that have been missing from such a practical life.

Somehow the person feels this missing thing should have been considered but hasn't been, leaving 'debt' that is making the person feel guilty. This isn't monetary debt but something ignored that suddenly has been seen and now is being faced and there is a realisation that something has been left undone..and is owed.

It's hard to guess what this is though and maybe this is why this is such a thought provoking poem. Perhaps its a debt to the feelings that have never been allowed to enter the person's heart and suddenly the feelings are 'piercing reason's glow' and the person is facing them for the first time.

I'm not sure about the last two lines and although I like the rest, I think these would be better if they were rewritten. They are hard to understand and are confusing in relation to the rest of the poem and add nothing. I think that the rhyme here also takes over, intrudes and doesn't really fit. But I like the rest and despite someone telling you its not good..I think it is good.

Miranda


Originally posted by cknight
A Revelation In Realization

Stricken down, years unkind
unkowingly decieved
Once again, years it's been
since I've felt so green
In my own relentless vision
the truth of reality cries
In my hands where dreams are banned
in relief I sigh
Nothing owed
not one thing borrowed
yet there is debt for me
Things have passed
without a thought
that now I'm beginning to see
Again it's there
out front it glares
peircing through reason's glow
Truth be known, but years to go
That day...I'll calmly show

i know it's not good(so I've been told), but i want to know what it means to you...your interpretation.