The Simpsons Quoting Thread [Archive] - Literature Network Forums

Koa

04-24-2004, 10:35 AM

:eek: :mad: :eek: :mad: Ok i was opening this to the enjoyment of emily...and of myself, and hopefully someone else too... So I spent the last 20 MINUTES at least writing about my favourite quotes.... and it ogged me out and couldnt post it and now I'm awfully angry cos my wonderful simpsons thread has been spoilt!!!!! :mad: :( There's no way I'm going to type it all again, so let someone else start quoting, and I'll come with my wonderful quotes another time. :(

*singing* The Simpsons....laallallalalalalalaaaa...lalala!
(bad impression of the song....)

Koa

04-24-2004, 12:07 PM

Ok here I am, smoke of anger stopped coming out from my head after some reading, and I'll start with some of my favourite quotes...

Before I start, I have to inform you that here we get everydamnthing dubbed, so the quotes in my mind have to be re-translated to English (as I've seen only a few of the lates episodes in English)... and I wonder if the translation and dubbing followed precisely the original or not. Any correction would be appreciated!

Let's start from my very favourite one... Not really a quote but a sketch. It's the episode when the Simpsons turn into the Thompsons and live on a boat cos of a program of protection of witnesses or stuff... Sideshow Bob follows them under their car and as soon as he gets out he steps on a rake which hits him on his face...and says 'WRRR'. Then he takes another step, and hits another rake...then another one and so on and on....it goes on for aaages and it makes me die laughing everytime I see it!!!

Btw I saw a rather new episode a few days ago, when again he hits on a rake and says: 'A rake, my arch-enemy' Bart:' I thought I was your arch-enemy' Bob: 'Oh Bart there's not only you in my life!' :D

LOL...Jay just sent me something I had forgotten about: the intro sung on the Flintstones's music: Simpson, Homer Simpson, he's the greatest guy in history... from the town of Springfield, he's about to hit a chestnut tree AAAAH! :D

crisaor

04-24-2004, 06:59 PM

Originally posted by Koa
Before I start, I have to inform you that here we get everydamnthing dubbed, so the quotes in my mind have to be re-translated to English (as I've seen only a few of the lates episodes in English)... and I wonder if the translation and dubbing followed precisely the original or not. Any correction would be appreciated!

I have the same problem. But the fact that they can be enjoyed by so many different people and cultures proves that the show's excellence has a global scale (at least it is so up to the 9th season).

Originally posted by Koa
Let's start from my very favourite one... Not really a quote but a sketch. It's the episode when the Simpsons turn into the Thompsons and live on a boat cos of a program of protection of witnesses or stuff... Sideshow Bob follows them under their car and as soon as he gets out he steps on a rake which hits him on his face...and says 'WRRR'. Then he takes another step, and hits another rake...then another one and so on and on....it goes on for aaages and it makes me die laughing everytime I see it!!!

Happy coincidence. That's my all-time favourite episode. There's tons of good stuff in it. For example, Homer asks the kids if they want to pass through the cactus, they say yes, and a third and grave voice says 'no', and then Homer goes: Two against one! :D :D :D :p :p

IWilKikU

04-24-2004, 08:30 PM

I think its in its 15th or 16th season in the states, and only three are out on DVD :(.

verybaddmom

04-25-2004, 12:51 AM

i think my all time kill me laughing favorite scene ever was the one where Marge is trying to get (I think it was Lisa, but might have been Bart) out of bed to help with spring cleaning, and she says "look everyone is helping" and Santa's little helper slides past the door on his butt in the manner of a dog with worms, and then homer goes past the door doing the same thing, but sitting on a dusting rag....

omg..too funny!

emily655321

04-25-2004, 05:30 AM

YAYYYYYYYYYY!!!!!!!! SIMPSONS THREAD!!!!!!!!!! Okay, *deep breaths* I'm over it. No I'm not. Just a sec. (YYAAAAAAYYYYYYYYYYYYY!!!!!!!!!)

Okay, cool... It's in its 13th season here, but personally, I haven't enjoyed one of the episodes thus far. Well, I've missed a few, but I'll catch up during summer reruns. Koa and Crisaor, I hope it isn't very different in translation. There are a lot of subtle jokes too that probably don't translate well. You gotta see as many English ones as you can find!

Let's see, some quotes... Okay, well since we always seem to be talking about food, I'll go for a couple food ones:

When Bob hypnotizes Bart to kill Krusty with plastic explosives strapped to him ("Oh no, my boy bomb!")...
Sideshow Bob: "Ah, the catwalk. The perfect vantage point...for revenge!"
*opens a bag of potato chips*
"Ah, Kettle Chips. The perfect side dish....for revenge!"

I think this is from when Lisa cheats on her Wind in the Willows test and her resulting grade raises the school's average enough to get more funding from the state...
Mrs Krabappel: "We'll finally be able to buy a real periodic table instead of those promotional ones from Oscar Meyer! Now, on with the Science lesson: who can tell me the atomic weight of Bolonium?"
Martin: Ooh ooh ooh! Delicious?
Mrs Krabappel: Correct. I would also have accepted "snacktacular."

ROFLMFAO. *wipes a tear from her eye*

Koa

04-25-2004, 08:11 AM

LOL...I remember all of them... They are quite similar translated I think...I sometimes get little jokes that dont translate, cos I like to imagine the original...

Dunno at which season we are here, but the latest ones are not great...I've seen some of them in English before they were broadcasted here...

No time for quotes now, but I'll be back!

Koa

04-25-2004, 01:32 PM

Some more...

Homer lives in the house on the tree after a quarrel with Marge... Lisa takes him a pudding (???) and advises him to do something about the quarrel...
Homer: Ok brain, you don't like me and I don't like you, but we need to collaborate...eat the pudding eat the pudding eat the pudding!!!

Homer goes to the 'big brothers' agency to get a kid after quarrelling with Bart, and is asked (I dont remember if he is asked or he has to fill a form...) the reason why...
Homer thinking: don't say revenge, don't say revenge...
Homer speaking: REVENGE! ...d'oh!

Ralph at some sort of party in honour of principal Skinner:
"When i grow up I want to be like principla Skinner...or a millipede!" (I hope someone remembers it and tells me if it's like this in English cos I'm dying to know!!!)

Another one I'd like to know in original is a sketch between Smithers and Mr Burns, saying: "this year the nuclear plant's business hasnt been good... shall we 'dollar'? " ---> Dunno how to explain, they say something like 'shall we dollar' or 'let's play dollar'...and they start throwing dollars at each other... :D

Koa

04-25-2004, 01:36 PM

Originally posted by emily655321

When Bob hypnotizes Bart to kill Krusty with plastic explosives strapped to him ("Oh no, my boy bomb!")...
Sideshow Bob: "Ah, the catwalk. The perfect vantage point...for revenge!"
*opens a bag of potato chips*
"Ah, Kettle Chips. The perfect side dish....for revenge!"

[/B]

That's in the same episode I quoted the rake-archenemy one :) They showed it here last Monday, I didnt remember having seen it, but since these new ones have veen shown only once or twice, I dont remember them as those I've seen 450 times...:D

I was about to forget a real classic: when they go to Australia and Homer jumps from side to side of the 'borderline' of the American embassy, saying: Now I'm in Australia/now I'm in America :D:D:D It often comes to my mind when I think of fayefaye...:D

Oh oh oh another one... from a fairly recent one, maybe an Halloween special (I hate halloween episodes) or maybe they were just playing some historical thing... well, Homer appears to bart in a dream:
Homer: I'm back from the dead...
Bart: Looks like you're back from the buffet!!! :D

Please stop me...

emily655321

04-25-2004, 03:29 PM

Whatwhatwhat???? You don't like the Halloween episodes?? They're the best ones! Okay, so that's highly subjective. But not even the one with the Terror at 5000 Feet parody with the Gremlin on the bus? so good. Oh well.

You can't have quotes with out Ralph Wiggum. I love the Wiggle Puppy episode, when Marge makes Bart spend time with him. They take Chief Wiggums keys -- "What is his fascination with my Forbidden Closet of Mystery?" :D -- and turn on the electric chair in the old prison -- Ralph: "It smells like hotdogs," -- get scared away by the guard, leave it running, and see on TV that they've reopened the prison and Mayor Quimby is going to sit in the chair at the induction ceremony.
Ralph: "He's gonna smell like hotdogs."

And of course, "That's where I saw the leprechaun. He tells me to burn things."

Hmm...what else...oh, I can't even remember which this is from, but when Principal Skinner says, "That's the second independent thought alarm in one day. Willie, the children are over-stimulated, remove the colored chalk from the classrooms."

Ohh...Lordy.

crisaor

04-25-2004, 04:45 PM

"The last bar in Springfield, if the don't let me in here, I'm gonna have to quit drinking..."
*Homer's liver says Yaayyy*
"Shut up liver" *Hits own liver*
"Aw, my liver hurts".
:p

verybaddmom

04-25-2004, 08:53 PM

homer: mmmm....brazil nuts.
Brazillian kidnapper: homer, here we just call them nuts.

IWilKikU

04-25-2004, 09:29 PM

Ralphie: "Is this my house?"
Lisa: "No Ralphie, you live in a different house."
Ralphie: "WEEEEEEEEEEEEE!"

Ralphie: "My cat's breath smells like cat food."

verybaddmom

04-25-2004, 11:41 PM

Marge: Homer, we cant get any time alone
Homer (leering): we're alone now
Bart (faintly through wall): you're never alone in this house
homer: Why you little.... * crashes hand through wall and proceeds to do the infamous "bart choke"*

I thought that was hilarious, because that's something i've actually wanted to do (the hand through wall to silence unwanted intruder during "quiet time".

edit: that episode wasnt over yet...hehe...
Homer: "Marge, we must take advantage of this romantic encounter, or we'll never have another chance, at least till Lisa's in college and we've lost contact with Bart"

fayefaye

04-26-2004, 04:01 AM

hehe. I am the queen of simpsons quotes. :D I don't even know if I should bother with this thread. ;)

meh, I'm going to start simpsons quoting in my posts. :D
ralph-'when I grow up, I'm going to be a principal. or a caterpillar'

oh, the parody of free willy
'Oh no, willy didn't make it'
'and he crushed our boy'
'ewww, what a mess'

emily655321

04-26-2004, 11:25 AM

Eehhehehehe! I remember that. Was that in the film festival one when Jay Sherman from The Critic visited Springfield? Oh, I loved that show so much. I miss it. Dang.

LOL I haven't paid attention to it in so long, I forgot all about it but... my siggy is a Simpsons quote! I'm 99% sure it's from the Indecent Proposal parody episode, when Arty Ziff comes back to Springfield as a dot.com billionaire to offer Homer $1 million if Marge will spend the weekend with him. (Which they need to pay for the operation to correct Homer's tragic snoring disorder.) In the end, of course, Marge tells Homer he can't accept the money, even after she goes, and Homer says the below....v v v v v v v v v v

[edit]: (sig changed) "I can't take his money. I can't print my own money. I have to work for money. Why don't I just lay down and die?"

Sancho

04-26-2004, 03:16 PM

Homer:

"Hehehehe."
"Why I laugh?"

emily655321

04-26-2004, 04:32 PM

*snorts, smecks, laughy veshches*

Keep forgetting to say -- I like the new siggy, by the way, Sancho. Did I say that already? I think I forgot, anyway.

Treehouse of Horror!! Homer gets fired, hired as a gravedigger, Mr. Burns finds him sleeping in a grave and steals what he thinks is a body for his giant robot. Dragging Homer's body over broken grave stones...
Smithers: Sir, did you hear something?
Burns: Ooh, is the little baby scared? What was it, Smithers, the "Booger" Man?
Smithers: It's the man in the bag, Sir. I.. I think he's alive.
Burns: Oh...
*Mr. Burns proceeds to beat the bag with his shovel while Homer cries out in pain*
Burns: Bad corpse! Bad corpse! Stop *whack* scaring *whack* Smithers!
*Homer moans*
Burns: Satisfied?
Smithers: Thank you, Sir.

Koa

04-27-2004, 07:29 AM

Originally posted by fayefaye

ralph-'when I grow up, I'm going to be a principal. or a caterpillar'

[/B]

YAAY that was it!!! I've been wondering for ages about how ti is in English!! (infact I misquoted it up there :D)

Today I'm going for a simple quote we shouldnt forget...

D'OH!

emily655321

04-27-2004, 07:39 AM

Originally posted by Koa
Another one I'd like to know in original is a sketch between Smithers and Mr Burns, saying: "this year the nuclear plant's business hasnt been good... shall we 'dollar'? " ---> Dunno how to explain, they say something like 'shall we dollar' or 'let's play dollar'...and they start throwing dollars at each other... :D

I don't know how I missed this one before, Koa, but somehow I did. I don't remember the context, but my memory tells me it's something like Mr. Burns is depressed because the plant isn't doing well, and he asks Smithers to cheer him up, and one of them says, "Money fight!"

Koa

04-27-2004, 07:40 AM

oooh thanks! that makes perfectly sense, I should have thought about it by myself, it wasn't hard to get! Thanks a lot, discovering the original of 2 of my favourite quotes sort of made my day ;)

emily655321

04-28-2004, 05:26 PM

Apu: "Silly customer. You cannot hurt a twinkie."

Bart: "This bag of ice has a head in it."
Apu: *faking enthusiasm* "Oooh... a head bag! Those are full of... headed goodness."

When Marge makes sugar illegal in Springfield...
Homer: *gasps excitedly* "A sticky spot on the floor!"
Apu: "Mr. Simpson, you are licking blood and VapoRub!"
Homer: "Part of me knew that." *pause* *resumes frenzied licking*

Koa

04-29-2004, 04:42 PM

Today i saw the worst episode I had ever seen...It's a rather new one (damn they're showing a serie I've never seen, tho I dont think it's the latest one, and I'm hardly ever at home to see it...): they showed Homer's, Lisa's and Bart's day...all their destinies crossing if I can say so... You know, when Homer loses a thumb...
It was really a sad one, such a lack of good ideas for good plots... :(

Homer: "Hey, why's not Bart home yet? His dinner is cold and half-eaten" *eats some* :D

And, from my friend who's one of the best Simpsons (and not only) quoters:
"Bart, don't make a mess of France as you've done with your bedroom!"

emily655321

04-29-2004, 11:08 PM

LOL yes, the exchange student episode. Oh, I love that one.

French Guy: "Watch; you grab the grape between your forefinger and thumb. Then you gently twist it off. And drop it in the bucket. Now you do it."
*Bart picks a grape*
French Guy: "Very good! Now do it a million times."

I remember the thumb one. Yeah, from there on out they start going for gorier and gorier shock value. I don't think I hated that one too badly though... which might say more about the recent ones than anything.

verybaddmom

04-30-2004, 04:50 AM

here's one to offend a bunch of people...
tonight's episode: the whole family is watching the "ten commandments" movie on tv, and a comment is made by bart that this is a nasty mean God, and homer replies: "yeah, he's my favorite fictional character"!

emily655321

04-30-2004, 07:28 AM

Oh, it's so vague in my mind I can't even remember the exact phrasing.. it's when Homer buys a gun, though...

Homer: "Now I know how God feels...when He's holding a gun!"

Koa

04-30-2004, 05:08 PM

NO TV AND NO BEER MAKE HOMER GO CRAZY.

NO TV AND NO BEER MAKE HOMER GO CRAZY.
NO TV AND NO BEER MAKE HOMER GO CRAZY.
NO TV AND NO BEER MAKE HOMER GO CRAZY.
NO TV AND NO BEER MAKE HOMER GO CRAZY.

...
(*trying to be spooky*:D)

emily655321

04-30-2004, 05:54 PM

Homer: "All I need is a title. I'm thinking along the lines of, 'No TV and no beer make Homer... something something.'"
Marge: "'..Go crazy?'"
Homer: "DON'T MIND IF I DO!"

Ahh... the Shinning. :D

IWilKikU

04-30-2004, 07:16 PM

Also from the gun episode, Someone correct me if I'm a little off

MARGE: Homer, owning a gun is just asking for trouble.
HOMER: And when trouble comes, I'll be ready for them.

Then he says something about, "just me and my precious precious gun."

:( someone help out! :(

IWilKikU

04-30-2004, 07:29 PM

HOMER: Marge, can I have a helper duck?
MARGE: You already have a helper monkey.
HOMER: Can he have a duck?

emily655321

04-30-2004, 08:15 PM

LMAO

Lisa: Can you help me get my ball down from the roof, Dad?

Homer: Sure thing, honey. *shoots gun at the roof*

*Ball falls to the ground and deflates*

Homer: Want me to get the cat down?

Lisa (quickly): No thanks.

emily655321

04-30-2004, 09:51 PM

Random_hero reminded me of this... from when Flanders sent Homer to be a missionary...

Homer: Wait, I'm no missionary! I don't even believe in Jebus!
*plane takes off with Homer trapped inside*
Homer: Oh, save me, Jebus!

emily655321

05-01-2004, 05:18 AM

This just came to me in the shower -- does anyone else suspect that showers breed some kind of memory-inducing, analytical-thinking bacterium? -- anyway, I have to put it before I forget it again, so excuse the double-posting..

I think it's Treehouse of Horror, I know it's 1999... when Y2K hits and everything electronic in Springfield goes haywire...

Lisa: Well, well. Look at the wonders of your modern age, now.
Homer: "Wonders," Lisa? ...Or blunders?
Lisa: I think that was implied by what I said.
Homer: "Implied," Lisa? ...Or implode?
Lisa: Mo-om, make him stop.

[edit] I guess this is just one of those that is more aurally/visually funny than it is to read. Darn, I hate "guess-you-had-to-be-there" funny. :D

IWilKikU

05-02-2004, 06:12 PM

I thought it was funny!!! :D :D

Koa

05-03-2004, 04:34 PM

people please stop posting there was a full page of topics with posts i havent read and i have no time and i want to see them all!!!!!!!(cos otherwise i wont know what i've read and what not...) Ok I had to shout this in ANY topic *hurries to the next one*

emily655321

05-03-2004, 09:39 PM

LMAO :D No kidding, I was scrolling and realized this whole page is from this afternoon! :eek: What's in the water today, huh?

random_hero

05-04-2004, 02:34 AM

Oh god, would someone post the Max Power song... I am dry heaving from laughing too hard. At the thought of Max Powers.

verybaddmom

05-04-2004, 02:39 AM

"When your in bed with Max Power, you strap yourself in and FEEL THE G'S ! " - Homer as Max Power

Max Power, he has the name that you want to touch,
but you musn't touch!
His name sounds good in your ear,
but when you hear it, you musn't fear.
Cause is nam can be said,
in many different ways...

emily655321

05-04-2004, 09:27 AM

"Uh-oh, Spaghettios!"

Oh god, I have to go die now. :D :D I forgot about the song. LOL

verybaddmom

05-04-2004, 02:46 PM

wait, here's another of my fave's:

When Homer takes the family to a sushi restaurant, eats a blowfish and finds out he's going to die in 24 hours:

Dr. Hibbert: Now, a little death anxiety is normal. You can expect to go through five stages. The first is denial.
Homer: No way! Because I'm not dying!
Dr. Hibbert: The second is anger.
Homer: Why you little!
Dr. Hibbert: After that comes fear.
Homer: What's after fear? What's after fear?
Dr. Hibbert: Bargaining.
Homer: Doc, you gotta get me out of this! I'll make it worth your while!
Dr. Hibbert: Finally, acceptance.
Homer: Well, we all gotta go sometime.
Dr. Hibbert: Mr. Simpson, your progress astounds me.

hehehe...go Homer

verybaddmom

05-04-2004, 02:51 PM

Homer eating a rice cake:
"Hello? Hello? Hello, taste? Where are you?"

edit: this was my 666th post too....who knew it would be so 'blah'. the only thing evil about it is the fact that it mentions rice cakes....ugh!

emily655321

05-04-2004, 03:02 PM

When Lisa wants to play football...
HOMER: Lisa, if the Bible has taught us nothing else -- and it hasn't -- it's that girls should stick to girls' sports, such as hot oil wrestling and foxy boxing and such and such.

verybaddmom

05-04-2004, 03:05 PM

when the German's buy the Nuclear Plant:

"We regret to announce the following lay-offs, which I will read in alphabetical order. Simpson, Homer. That is all."

emily655321

05-04-2004, 03:08 PM

"Now son, you don't want to drink beer. That's for daddies, and kids with fake IDs."

verybaddmom

05-04-2004, 03:12 PM

Apu(After being robbed and tied)
They used the nylon rope this time! It feels so smooth agaisnt my skin... almost sensuous

verybaddmom

05-04-2004, 03:14 PM

Smithers: People like dogs, Mr. Burns.
Burns: Nonsense, dogs are idiots. Think about it Smithers, if I came into your room and started sniffing at your crotch and started slobbering all over you. What would you say?
Smithers: Umm...if you did it sir?

verybaddmom

05-04-2004, 03:17 PM

Otto: Fasten your seat belts, little dudes.
Lisa: We don't have seat belts.
Otto: Uh, well...just try to go limp.

Otto trying to get his licence to drive the bus:
Patty: When you do good, I use the green pen. When you do bad, I use the red pen. Any questions?
Otto: Yeah, one. Have you always been a chick? I mean I don't want to offend you, but you were born a man, weren't you? You can tell me; I'm open-minded.
Patty: (dropping the green pen) We won't be needing this.

Koa

05-04-2004, 03:18 PM

Originally posted by verybaddmom
wait, here's another of my fave's:

When Homer takes the family to a sushi restaurant, eats a blowfish and finds out he's going to die in 24 hours:

Dr. Hibbert: Now, a little death anxiety is normal. You can expect to go through five stages. The first is denial.
Homer: No way! Because I'm not dying!
Dr. Hibbert: The second is anger.
Homer: Why you little!
Dr. Hibbert: After that comes fear.
Homer: What's after fear? What's after fear?
Dr. Hibbert: Bargaining.
Homer: Doc, you gotta get me out of this! I'll make it worth your while!
Dr. Hibbert: Finally, acceptance.
Homer: Well, we all gotta go sometime.
Dr. Hibbert: Mr. Simpson, your progress astounds me.

hehehe...go Homer

LOL classic!!!
And I didnt remember there was a Max Power song...damn!
Why can't I come out wiht other favourites of mine... :( I saw a nice one today but I forgot it...but it wasnt a great episode anyway...

verybaddmom

05-04-2004, 03:21 PM

i use the fact that i have a twelve year old son as my excuse for knowing all this simpons trivia (we even own the board game and the simpons jeopardy) but really, i watch the show cause i love it. so i just dont argue when he puts it on tv...works out well, i can still pretend to be an adult...most of the time!

emily655321

05-04-2004, 03:22 PM

This one was on last night, when they get the pool...

*montage of Simpson family constructing their pool*
*stand back to survey their work....wide shot of a huge metal barn*
HOMER: Okay, everybody in the pool!
UNKNOWN AMISH GUY: Aye, 'tis a fine barn, to be sure. But sure 'tis no pool, English.

LISA: Bart, I'm here for you, but I'm not going to break into someone's house!
BART: Okay, well forget that. Why don't I read to you from my play?
LISA: Okay.
BART (reading): "Kippers for breakfast, Aunt Hel-ga? Is it Saint Swivens Day already?"
....."'Tis," replied Aunt Helll-ga...
LISA: All right! I'm going, I'm going!

verybaddmom

05-04-2004, 03:23 PM

Millhouse: "Bart, I don't want you to see me cry."
Bart: "Oh come on, I've seen you cry a million times. You cry when you scrape your knee, you cry when they're out of chocolate milk, you cry when you're doing long division and you have a remainder left over."

emily655321

05-04-2004, 03:29 PM

MARGE: But you'd be making people happy...
HOMER: Ooh! Look at me! I'm making people happy! I'm the magical man from happy land, in a gumdrop house on lollypop lane!
*leaves and slams the door*
*returns*
HOMER: And by the way, I was being sarcastic.
*slams door again*
MARGE: Well, duh.

Koa

05-04-2004, 03:43 PM

Originally posted by verybaddmom
[B]i use the fact that i have a twelve year old son as my excuse for knowing all this simpons trivia (we even own the board game and the simpons jeopardy)

do those things exist??? Great!!!

Hey i remember and love all of your quotes... I remembered one, but it'll be hard to explain cos I dont remember the episode and cos of the translation thing...let's try anyway:

Someone is chasing...uh, I think it's Rainer Wolfcastle aka Mc Bain or something...and they tell him 'Hey, you have your sholace undone!'
He bends down...stares...the daily sky turns into nigh to show the passing of time...and he says 'After an accurate analysis, I'd say these shoes have no shoelaces*...' :D:D:D

(*I dont know the word for 'shoe with no lace' in English ;))

Koa

05-04-2004, 03:46 PM

oh oh oh from the episode whne homer makes illegal beer cos of protetionism (which appears to be the favourite episode of most of my brother's schoolmates):

Homer going out hiding beer in bowling balls
Marge: What are you doing???
Homer, looking like 'd'oh you caught me and i'll confess': Marge, I can't lie to you... See ya later! *goes away*

Maybe from the same episode:
Homer: I'm going, if I don't come back avenge my death
Bart: if he not back avenge death
(or maybe they were both going out...bah, I dont remember :()

emily655321

05-04-2004, 04:00 PM

Originally posted by Koa
(*I dont know the word for 'shoe with no lace' in English ;))

LOL I remember that. :D I believe the line is:

"On closer inspection, I am wearing loafers."

Koa

05-04-2004, 04:03 PM

Oh great thanks! All have in mind is my brother's impression, saying: "Dopo un'accurata analisi, direi che questi sono mocassini" :D:D:D

emily655321

05-04-2004, 04:13 PM

Oh -- monorail episode! Some great one-ish-liners...

MARGE: Homer, there's a man who thinks he can help you!
HOMER: Batman??
MARGE: No, a scientist.
HOMER: Batman's a scientist.
MARGE: It's not Batman!

*Marge opens the control closet on the monorail*
MARGE: There's a family of possums living in here!
HOMER: I call the big one Bitey.

(LOL when Arlo was little he would get overstimulated when he played, and his eyes would go completely black and he'd latch onto your arm with his teeth. We called it his alterego, Bitey. :D)

HOMER: Do you want to change your name to Homer Jr.? The kids can call you Ho-Ju.
*long pause*
BART: I'll get back to you on that.

verybaddmom

05-05-2004, 03:54 PM

Superintendant Chamers:
"Religion has no place in public schools the way facts have no place in organized religion."

verybaddmom

05-05-2004, 03:56 PM

Bart: What religion are you?
Homer: You know, the one with all the well-meaning rules that don't work out in real life. Uh... Christianity.

verybaddmom

05-05-2004, 09:48 PM

Moe: the fat dumb and bald guy sure plays some mean hardball!
(when homer steals the Who concert from Olde Springfield)

Koa

05-07-2004, 04:03 PM

Hi, I'm Troy McClure*, maybe you'll remember me from...*quotes movie/documentary* D

* or McLure? No idea...

The best one is when he marries Selma, after the first date he calls her and says:
Hi, I'm Troy McLure, maybe you'll remember me from....dates like the one of last night!

Lots of people say that the greatness of The Simpsons is in the backgroun characters... Not far from truth...

IWilKikU

05-07-2004, 06:22 PM

The background characters and Homer!

emily655321

05-07-2004, 07:26 PM

Last night's episode... Lisa campaigns for a town-wide blackout so the townspeople may be inspired by an upcoming meteor shower, but Mayor Quimby turns on the lights permanently when the town complains...

LISA: Dad, this lack of light is driving Mom and Maggie crazy.
HOMER: What makes you say that, talking gumball machine?

FRINK: Great glaven in a Glad bag! This meteorite contains carbon-based molecules. Perhaps I'll be able to prove the existence of life in outer space!
*tiny green alien climbs out of meteorite*
ALIEN: Shut up.
*picks up meteorite and hops away*

MARGE: This is even better than our screensaver. And I love our screensaver! Nice work, Lise.
LISA: Thanks.
HOMER: I wish God were alive to see this.

emily655321

05-10-2004, 02:44 PM

HOMER: I saw this movie about a bus that had to SPEED around the city, keeping its SPEED over 50, and if its SPEED changed, it would explode! I think it was called, "The Bus That Couldn't Slow Down."

Shea

05-12-2004, 09:15 AM

Ok, I usually don't post here because I'm not a big Simpson's fan, but my husband is. Last night the episode was where Flanders dated a movie star. I loved the line where Homer said something about mixing Twinkies and Ding-Dongs, "in Europe they call it a dinkie" LOL!

emily655321

05-12-2004, 02:02 PM

LOL :D

Oh my, what's it like to not be a Simpsons fan, Shea? Would you mind donating a brain scan for science? Maybe they can develop a serum to cure obsessive Simpsons quoting. :D

verybaddmom

05-12-2004, 09:48 PM

Homer: who are you and why are you holding me here? i want answers now or i want them eventually!
(when he got sent to the "island" for knowing too much!)

ajoe

05-13-2004, 01:08 AM

OK, dunno if anyone has posted this, but this one by Homer is my favorite: "Don't eat me, I have a wife and kids. Eat them."

emily655321

05-13-2004, 11:32 AM

Homer reading shopping list...
"'Olive oil'? 'Asparagus'?? If your mother wasn't so fancy, we could just shop at the gas station like normal people."

HOMER: Oh Lord, why are you punishing me?
MARGE: Homer, that's not the Lord. It's a waffle Bart stuck to the ceiling.
HOMER: Lord, I know I shouldn't eat thee...but...
*munch munch*

Shea

05-13-2004, 11:44 AM

Originally posted by emily655321
LOL :D

Oh my, what's it like to not be a Simpsons fan, Shea? Would you mind donating a brain scan for science? Maybe they can develop a serum to cure obsessive Simpsons quoting. :D

lol! I just never got into it. I was never allowed to watch it when growing up, and when I was old enough, I just wasn't interested.

verybaddmom

05-14-2004, 12:41 AM

oooh...tonights episode rocked...

Homer: well, what are we going to do with all this dirty dirty money?
Lisa: well there are lots of needy children...
Homer: ahhh. i see where you are going with this. i should buy a gun.

verybaddmom

05-14-2004, 12:44 AM

Kent Brockman: here comes the float for the Native American's, who taught us how to really celebrate thanksgiving.
Leeza Gibbons: oh, and an interesting bit of trivia, Kent, the paper mache for that float is made entirely out of broken treaties.

emily655321

05-14-2004, 12:49 AM

HAHAHAHA! :D :D

verybaddmom

05-14-2004, 01:23 AM

[Stone flies through Mr. Burns' office window]
Look Smithers, a bird has become petrified and lost its sense of direction.

verybaddmom

05-14-2004, 01:28 AM

Homers best (imo):
Homer no function beer well without.

I'm normally not a praying man, but if you're up there, please save me Superman.

I like my beer cold, my TV loud and my homosexuals flaming.

Barts best (imo):
There's no such thing as a soul. It's just something they made up to scare kids, like the boogeyman or Michael Jackson.

What's Santa's Little Helper doing to that dog? Looks like he's trying to jump over, but he can't quite make it.

emily655321

05-14-2004, 10:02 AM

OMG, those are great! :D I l-o-v-e that John Waters one.

MARGE: Homer, you're not thinking of giving up your faith??
HOMER: No-o, no, no, no, no, no, no.... Well, yes.

HOMER: Kids, let me tell you about another so-called "wicked" guy. He had long hair and some crazy ideas and he didn't always do what other people thought was right. And that man's name was... I forgot. But the point is... I forgot that too. Marge, you know who I'm talking about. He used to drive that blue car.

BART: Why do you need church shoes? Jesus wore sandals.
HOMER: Well, maybe if he had had better arch support they wouldn't have caught him.

Koa

05-21-2004, 04:08 PM

I remembered of one...when Homer is a body guard and learns how to get people to sleep by touching them on the neck... After he puts the whole family to sleep he looks around and goes "Still half an hour to dinner time"...and puts himslef to sleep that way :D:D:D

evulik

05-24-2004, 06:56 AM

haha this thread is great. I have not many opportunities, to be honest, I have none opportunity to watch it, PITY :( but I used to watch them in past and I still read some quotes of them... :) thanks for keeping me informed. I know that you heard of these, just to remind them:

Homer:
Kids, you tried your best and you failed miserably. The lesson is, never try.
If something goes wrong at the plant, blame the guy who can't speak English.
Operator! Give me the number for 911!
[Looking at a globe map...country being Uruguay]
Hee hee! Look at this country!'You are gay.'

:banana:

emily655321

05-24-2004, 10:56 PM

Hehehe :D

HOMER: Everytime I learn something new, a little of the old gets pushed out. Like remember that time I took a wine-making course and forgot how to drive?
MARGE: You were drunk.
HOMER: And how.

LISA: But Dad, don't you think--
HOMER: Lisa, the whole reason we have elected officials is so we don't have to think all the time. Like that rainforest scare a few years back. Our officials saw there was a problem and they fixed it, didn't they?
LISA: No, Dad, I don't think--
HOMER: There's that word again!

WX6[ck]

05-25-2004, 08:36 AM

Otto: [Stares at the his hands] "You know they call 'em fingers but I never see them fing. Oh, there they go."

WX6[ck]

05-25-2004, 08:49 AM

Homer: Lack beer of and T.V make homer something something.
Marge: Crazy?
Homer: Don't mind if i do. [Goes crazy, duh]

evulik

05-25-2004, 09:16 AM

hehe :lol:
like the one about driving and wine :)

Kent Brockman: Scientists say they're also less attractive physically and while we speak in a well-educated manner, they tend to use low-brow expressions like 'oh yeah?' and 'com'ere a minute.'
Homer: Oh yeah? They think they're better than us, huh? Bart! Com'ere a minute.
Bart: You com'ere a minute."
Homer: Oh yeah?

Marge: Homer, you don't have to pray outloud.
Homer: But he's way the hell up there!

Homer: Did you hear that, Marge? She called me a baboon. The stupidest, smelliest ape of them all.

:banana:

emily655321

05-25-2004, 04:14 PM

LMAO :D I like it.

More Homer:

"As the Bible says, 'Screw that!'"

"To alcohol! The cause of - and solution to - all of life's problems!"

"Facts are meaningless. You could use facts to prove anything that's even remotely true."

"I've learned that life is one crushing defeat after another until you just wish Flanders was dead."

*echoing memory of Flanders in ski suit* "Feels like I'm wearing nothing at all...nothing at all...NOTHING AT ALL..."
HOMER: Damn sexy Flanders!

MARGE: Homer, is this how you pictured married life?
HOMER: Pretty much. Except we drove around in a van solving mysteries.

evulik

05-26-2004, 04:25 AM

haha, when talking of alcohol....

Barney: Hello, my name is Barney Gumble, and I'm an alcoholic.
Lisa: Mr Gumble, this is a girl scouts meeting.
Barney: Is it, or is it you girls can't admit that you have a problem?

Homer: Son, when you participate in sporting events, it's not whether you win or lose: it's how drunk you get.

Homer: Son, a woman is like a beer. They smell good, they look good, you'd step over your own mother just to get one! But you can't stop at one. You wanna drink another woman!

Marge: Homer, the plant called. They said if you don't show up tomorrow don't bother showing up on Monday.
Homer: Woo-hoo. Four-day weekend.

:banana:

emily655321

05-26-2004, 05:38 AM

:lol: I love that Four-day Weekend one.

kilted exile

05-26-2004, 05:24 PM

Surprised no-one mentioned this one yet:

Jimbo (to Nelson):"Dude, you just kissed a girl. That is so gay."

Koa

05-30-2004, 03:38 PM

*laughing histerically*

emily655321

05-30-2004, 08:46 PM

HOMER VS. DIGNITY -- This was on last night. Sorry for the length, but I think this is one of the longest sequences of funny lines in Simpsons history:

[edit] (useful bit of info) *Mr. Burns stands before a vending machine.*
BURNS: *with childlike innocence* Ah, a candy shop! I'll take two pounds of Bristol's toffee. Oh, and don't wrap it too tightly; I'm hungry now!
*long pause*
You've made a powerful enemy, today.
*goes into cafeteria*
What's this? There's some kind of invisible force field around these vegetables.
HOMER: That's the sneeze guard. You have to lean under it to get salad or sneeze on stuff.
BURNS: Ah, everything's so green and alive! *green veggie shrivels in his hand*
HOMER: Uhm... Mr. Burns, I was wondering if I could get a raise.
BURNS: *straightening up* What kind of a raise?
HOMER: Whopping?
BURNS: I see. You have thirty seconds to wow me.
HOMER: Well, you see sir, I've worked here a long time, and my wife has a game leg, and my kids have game things as well...
BURNS: I don't want to hear your whining! I'm a bored and joyless old man. Give me a larf!
HOMER: A larf? Okay... let's see, what's in the news today...
BURNS: Oh, for the love of... *picks up pudding* Hurl this... at that.
HOMER: At Lenny? But he's a war hero.
BURNS: Well, let's decorate him, then.
HOMER: No!
BURNS: Not even for... FOUR DOLLARS?
*Homer throws pudding*
LENNY: Ow! My eye! I'm not supposed to get pudding in it.
BURNS: *laughing* That was capital! My lung is aching. Do it again. I'll make it an even eight...
HOMER: You're the boss.
LENNY: Ow! I'm in Hell!
BURNS: Let's keep the laughs coming, eh, Simpson? Let's say I make you my Executive in Charge of Recreation... no, no, better yet: my Prank Monkey!
HOMER: Will you keep giving me money?
BURNS: I can't have my little monkey running around in rags.
HOMER: Woohoo! *throws a cup of pudding at Carl*
BURNS: What are you DOING, man? That's Carl! *to Carl* Here, let me help you.
*takes Carl to eyewash station and glares back at Homer*

Other lines from the episode...

MARGE: When did this happen? When did we become the bottom rung of society?
HOMER: I think it was when that cold snap killed off all the hobos.

COMIC BOOK GUY: *eating many boxes of Peeps* If only the real chicks went down this easy.

BURNS: You're so much more fun than Smithers. Why, he doesn't even know the meaning of the word "gay."

*Lisa stands next to a parody of a 1930's urchin boy at the Thanksgiving Parade*
BOY: Hey, Lady. Santa Claus is going to be here, right? He just has to.
LISA: Something tells me he is. *pats him on the shoulder*
BOY: Don't touch me! Nothing gives you that right!

Costington's sign: "Over a hundred years without a slogan."

amuse

05-31-2004, 12:14 AM

MARGE: When did this happen? When did we become the bottom rung of society?
HOMER: I think it was when that cold snap killed off all the hobos.

COMIC BOOK GUY: *eating many boxes of Peeps* If only the real chicks went down this easy.
:D :D love 'em.

verybaddmom

05-31-2004, 11:23 AM

"If they think I'm going to stop at that stop sign, they're sadly mistaken!"
-Homer

"less artsy, more fartsy!!"
-Homer

Koa

05-31-2004, 03:43 PM

LOL! My brother informed me that from next week they'll replace the Simpsons with Futurama... Which is OK but not as great as the simpsons!!!!!!! I'm a bit sad, but at least Futurama is cool enough...I fear we might have another quoting thread if I get the right mood... :D

Koa

05-31-2004, 03:44 PM

Hello? where's my post? i can't see it.. can you?

(no that's not homer, that's me!!!)

Koa

05-31-2004, 03:45 PM

ah...i see it now *sigh of relief*

emily655321

06-01-2004, 12:47 AM

I know, that's been happening to me lately too.

I forgot to preface the first Burns quote with the fact that he's talking to a vending machine. :D I'm going add that now, for the benefit of anyone who hasn't read it yet.

Ooh ooh: When Homer tries to jump off of a building. "The End" plays on the soundtrack, Homer starts singing along. He gets to the roof and gets in a line of people next to a sign that says, "JUMPERS." When he gets to the front he begins reflecting on his life.

MAN: Less chat, more splat, pal.
*pushes Homer off building*

Koa

06-03-2004, 05:17 PM

OK I dont remember this well but today I saw the episode when Bart goes to the rock concert of Spiral Trap (or Tap?) and there's an interview to band that goes like....

Guy of the radio station: So, I'll say a word that has been following you during all your career: Failure. So how does it feel to be here tonight?
Band: Oh well... it's thanks to the fall of the Berlin wall, we have a lot of fans in the squalid part of the Iron Curtain...we have lots of fans in Bulgary and...how's the other -ary?
Other guy of the band: Hungary
Band: yeah, Hungary. I don't know anyone who gained more than us from the fall of the wall
Other guy of the band: Well, maybe the people living there...
Band: Oh, I had never thought about it.

(ouch it was much funnier and probably longer...)

Then Otto goes and lives with the Simpsons and plays Bart's guitar
Homer: Bart, why arent you palying yor guitar anymore
Bart: Honestly dad, it was too hard and I gave up
Homer: Oh this is a great day: you understood by yourself that if something is too hard, then it's not worth doing it! [bit I dont'remember] Now let's go and watch TV
Bart: what's on?
Homer: It doesn't matter *huge smile and satisfied voice*

emily655321

06-03-2004, 06:06 PM

ROFLMAO :lol: My case in point, Koa. Homer is the perfect representation of the average American.
Okay, no more America bashing for me today. :rolleyes: I think after a certain point they can probably fine me.

Koa

06-04-2004, 04:40 PM

I forgot a 'pearl' from that same episode:

Otto goes and takes the test for the driving licence...As you know, Patty and Selma work at the office there...
Patty: Hi I'm Patty, you'll do your exam with me... With the red pen I'll mark the mistakes, with the green one I'll mark the correct answers...
Otto: Ok but first tell me, have you always been a woman??? I mean, you were male before, right? You can tell me, I'm open-minded....
Patty: I guess I won't need this *drops green pen*
:D:D:D

emily655321

06-04-2004, 05:16 PM

ROFLMAO :lol: yet again.

For some reason this has been stuck in my head for the past day and a half:

APU: Please do not offer my god a peanut.

Koa

06-11-2004, 05:35 PM

*tries to re-post after the first post has been swallowed somewhere*

The episode when Flanders lends the Simpsons his house at the seaside, which is literally covered in messages on those yellow sticky papers...

on a box to make icecubes:
FILL ME
Marge: oh don't tell me Ned...and with what? *lifts paper* WITH WATER

on a pig to keep money in:
DON'T STEAL FROM ME
Bart:...Nice try Tod! :D

Well my mum is like that. She ws leaving messages even before, but me an my brother once told her about this episode, maybe even showed her, and now there's an invasion of messages...This morning there were 4 or 5 in the kitchen, one in the bathroom and, as we found out in a second moment, one in the fridge saying 'the peaches are in this box' :D A Flanders-mum :D :banana:

emily655321

06-11-2004, 06:08 PM

HHAHAHA! :D Poor Koa. I'd always be telling her how many trees she was killing.

I forgot about that episode. That's also the one where Lisa meets new friends and Bart gets them to sign her yearbook, because no one did at her school. He shows her when they're in the car on the way back...

MILHOUSE: *pleased with himself* Huh huh I signed it too.
*points to a small corner of the page: "See you in the car. Luv Milhouse."*

:D My friend and I each put that somewhere in each other's yearbooks every year of high school.

Oh another from that one: Homer buys a bunch of weird things to take the attention off of him ordering illegal fireworks...

HOMER: Hi. Uhm... let me have some porno magazines ... a large box of condoms ... a couple of those panty shields (andsomeillegalfireworks) and one of those disposable enemas. Eh, make it two.
*later*
MARGE: Homer, I don't know what you've got planned for tonight, but count me out!

Dunpeal

06-12-2004, 12:08 AM

[Homer finishes signing all of Bart's academic warnings. Lisa gets one for gym class.]
Homer: Well... that's all of 'em. How 'bout a present, boy?

Bart: well.. I could use a new pair of ice skates.

Homer: You got it.

Lisa: How come Bart gets a present and I'm getting chewed out?

Homer: Ah, the mysteries of life...

Dunpeal

06-12-2004, 12:17 AM

by the way, in the Spinal Tap episode... Otto sings this song in the school bus which goes "if I lived here tomorrow.. would you still remember me?"

and I heard that song in the movie Outside Providence
anyone know who sings that song??

emily655321

06-12-2004, 12:41 AM

"Freebird" by Lynyrd Skynyrd. (Actually, it's "If I leave here tomorrow" -- biggest make-out song of the 70's next to Stairway to Heaven :p)

Dunpeal

06-12-2004, 01:05 AM

"Free Bird"
O key dough key

Thanks a bunch.

[makes a wish with the monkey's paw]
Lisa: I wish for world peace.
Homer: Lisa, that was very selfish of you!!

Taliesin

06-13-2004, 11:26 AM

I have always liked that one, when Apu comes to Homer's door, his hands raised and looking really angry and menaceful (having previously lost his job thanks to Homer) but then saying that it means that he is sorry. Then he and Homer make pilgrmage to some Quickie-Mart holy man who only answers three questions.
Homer: "Are you really the holy man" (or something like that)
Holy man: "Yes."
Homer: "Really?"
Holy man "Yes"
Homer: "Really??"
Holy man: "Yes"
Then Apu asks his question, but the holy-man won't answer. Apu turns to Homer with the same menaceful and angry look with hands raised.
Homer: "No need to be sorry. It is as much my fault as it is yours." and then Apu starts to throttle him

Also liked the monkey-hand part. :banana:

Koa

06-13-2004, 12:24 PM

LOL good one!!!

emily655321

06-23-2004, 05:00 PM

Last night's: Christmas episode from a couple years ago, "Skinner's Sense of Snow" -- kids get snowed in at school. Principal Skinner has a flashback to Vietnam and begins acting like an army officer.

RALPH: Mr. Army Man, I can't sleep without my Reggie rabbit.
SKINNER: Is that some kind of plush novelty?
RALPH: Yes ma'am.
SKINNER: Um...well, here's a scouring pad. It's just as good.
*Ralph cuddles the steel wool against his cheek*
RALPH: It's cold. And hurty.

SKINNER: Defying orders, eh? I see you Scotsmen are thrifty with courage, too!
GROUNDSKEEPER WILLIE: All right, Skinner. That's the last time you'll slap your Willie around!

*Homer hits a fire hydrant which explodes and immediately freezes over on the car.*
HOMER: Stupid ice! I always knew I'd die caked in something.

Taliesin

06-25-2004, 09:29 AM

Well, this is not a quote, but a parody. But I like it. (http://funny.ansme.com/videos/singhsons.html )

Koa

06-25-2004, 04:26 PM

LOL Taliesin! :D :banana:

I miss the Simpsons :(
We're having Futurama now...These episodes are mostly not exciting, they're 'new' even if I know that they stopped making new ones a couple of years ago...I guess they hadn't got here yet.

A Simpsons quote I always forgot to mention:
(Homer and Bart at home alone)
Homer: Where's Bart? His dinner is cold and half-eaten *eats something from Bart's plate* :D
I always play it with my brother when I cook and he's late for the meal :D

Ender

06-25-2004, 07:57 PM

Homer: My ears are burning
Lisa: We weren't talking about you
Homer: No, I lit a Q-tip to see inside

Willie: Ah, who'll save the wee turtles!?
Willie: Someone save me from the wee turtles. They were too much for me!

I was having a conversation one day with a friend about Phil Hartman and how he rocked, and said something about him being Troy McLure. SOmeone walking by asked "Who's Troy McLure?" Me and my friend looked at each other and smiled, and I turned back and started. "Well, you may remember him from such educational videos as..."

emily655321

06-26-2004, 01:04 AM

ROFLMAO :D Oh, what a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity! And with a witness!
You lucky monkey, you.

Oh, and Taliesin -- funny clip! I like the one after it even more. ;)

emily655321

07-01-2004, 02:12 PM

Some good ones from here and there...

Editor reading Homer's food critic article:
EDITOR: This is a joke, right? I mean this is the stupidest thing I've ever read!
HOMER: What's wrong with it?
EDITOR: You keep using words like "pasghetti" and "momatoes," you
make numerous threatening references to the UN, and at the end you repeat the words "Screw Flanders" over and over again.

MR. BURNS: Smithers, do you think you could dig up Al Jolson?
SMITHERS: Ummm... remember we tried that, sir?
BURNS: Oh right, he's dead... and rather pungent. The rest of that night is something I'd like to forget.

HANK SCORPIO: By the way, Homer, what's your least favorite country? Italy or France?
HOMER: France.
*Hank adjusts a giant laser*
HANK: Heh heh. Nobody ever says Italy.

APU: This is how you talk when you learn English from pornos.

Capnplank

07-01-2004, 02:50 PM

Hooray for the season 4 dvd commentary where they just talk about Conan O'Brien over and over, and then get him to do an alternate commentary.

Ender

07-01-2004, 05:03 PM

Not really a quote, but there's one of the Halloween specials where everyone is a zombie, and you see smithers walking around whistling "If I Only Had a Brain" (Wizard of Oz)

emily655321

07-01-2004, 06:13 PM

Hehehe I didn't catch that.

verybaddmom

07-02-2004, 11:25 AM

last night i was at a canada day celebration at princes island park in calgary, and there was a comedian on the grandstand who did "titanic in five minutes....with the simpsons cast". it has to have been one of the funniest things i have ever seen in my life. he did mayor quimby, smithers, burns, homer, bart, marge, lisa, the professor and krusty.
omg...too funny. wish you could have seen it. :lol:

Koa

08-07-2004, 08:06 AM

Time to bring this topic back cos I've seen some new Simpsons here in the UK (well...downloaded...:D) and I have a few quotes to post before I forget them :)

- young Homer at camping: Oh look, a switch-knife...I see the switch, but where's the knife? *touches the switch* D'OH, my eye!!! :D

- Grandpa Simpson trying to conquer an old lady:
Old Lady: You're more boring thena my husband...and he's dead!
Grandpa: But then I smell better!!!
Old Lady: At the moment it's just about even!

One of the best quotes ever:
Willie looking at Lisa and Bart who became best friends:
This is unnatural, brother and sister should be enemies, like Scots and English...or like Scots and Welsh...or like Scots and Japanese...or like Scots and other Scots... damn Scots, they ruin Scotland!

randolphmiles

10-19-2005, 03:45 PM

nil

11-05-2005, 06:59 PM

hi am new comer

starrwriter

11-05-2005, 09:45 PM

I miss the Simpsons. We're having Futurama now.

Wish I could remember more examples, but my memory went practically blank when I read this post. I do recall that Matt Groening loves to poke fun at political correctness:

Homer: I'm as dirty as a Frenchman!

I also recall Marge telling Bart: You haven't eaten your cottage cheese.
Bart: It looks like it's already been eaten.

Is it my imagination or is Smithers gay for Mr. Burns? (heh-heh)

I also love Futurama reruns.

Lela: Alcohol makes you stupid.
Fly: No, I doesn't.

In fact, my favorite comedy shows on TV are all cartoons -- including South Park and Tripping The Rift. I wonder what that means? Is my mind withdrawing into a cartoon world because I find the real world so absurd? Should I keep taking my meds or throw caution to the wind?