submitted poetry

[quasimodo1]

The NY Times/Select is soliciting poetry (and for a prize) regarding Iraq. This entry was at least entered by the editor of one of the op/ed sections. This is my entry in a prose-poetry format: Thermopylae requires three thousand now, and Athens is repairing. New warriors scan the Persians whose atoms halt despairing; whose young resent thier sun-gods; they long for no theocracy, and leveling all their odds to have like other nations: no fear of Revelations and western women of vision. Don't let veils obscure their mission while zealots and jihadists mold thier young with visions of vaporizing divisions, until no two religions can form a peaceful fission. RJS quasimodo1

[quasimodo1]

To all other poetry fans...the prize for this contest is over six grand. That makes it more interesting? yes? quasimodo1

[Janine]

The NY Times/Select is soliciting poetry (and for a prize) regarding Iraq. This entry was at least entered by the editor of one of the op/ed sections. This is my entry in a prose-poetry format: Thermopylae requires three thousand now, and Athens is repairing. New warriors scan the Persians whose atoms halt despairing; whose young resent thier sun-gods; they long for no theocracy, and leveling all their odds to have like other nations: no fear of Revelations and western women of vision. Don't let veils obscure their mission while zealots and jihadists mold thier young with visions of vaporizing divisions, until no two religions can form a peaceful fission. RJS quasimodo1

quasi, Ok, I like what you have here - but first a question. Why do you write it with all the lines running together into a paragraph? Personally I would find this easier to comprehend if you put each statement on a separate line. I have noticed this about your poetry before in other posts. Is it prose or poetry? If it each thought were on separate lines one could space the mind/emotional response and it would flow better; also each line would stand out distinctly. Maybe....give it a try and see what the results would be. I think I would understand it better in that format. What do you think? Hope I was not too butal suggesting it. Otherwise some interesting ideas in your text.
The contest sounds quite interesting. I will tell a few other on here about it.

[quasimodo1]

Prose poetry is my favorite form for reasons of blending themes and concepts. Many readers find it disconcerting but i still like it. Once in a while the iambic pentameter will interest me and also free verse like E.E. and L. Ferlinghetti but...i flatter myself. Appreciate the objective and constructive criticism. quasi

[quasimodo1]

Our father's house so square of circles consisted Inertia is especially resisted My mother's death, my sisters' lives felt ghosts afoot between their drives When family plans and father builds The structure overrides the guilds We hammered nails and built up block Upon the earth is was a rock, peculiar to a man of vision of self, and wife, and rough precision. When life was there you paced in circles the disembodied spirits stood round in verticles they had somehow endentured work for centuries they make you too by ethic and entreaty now they crossed the river, you could stay or sell the shell; unload the spell All seemed possible yet harder the better to change your larder It is no difference you're full grown to escape and grasp and build your own for every space has it's potential for failure or for growth exponential bad luck to sleep on dead men's heads good luck to stay away, to wait your death in that grey the moral is to stay away and let your confidence have it's day. 5:42 AM 7/11/2007

[quasimodo1]

Thanks PrinceM: but somehow I'm a liitle dissatisfied, hard to explain. Got the concepts out right but then this isn't an exposition. What really bugs me is this ream of stuff from back in the day and most of that is really good. My daughters wont let go of it. Your sentiment about the poor getting the worst of war, unfortunately, is lost on any "senators son". quasi

[PrinceMyshkin]

Thanks PrinceM: but somehow I'm a liitle dissatisfied, hard to explain. Got the concepts out right but then this isn't an exposition. What really bugs me is this ream of stuff from back in the day and most of that is really good. My daughters wont let go of it. Your sentiment about the poor getting the worst of war, unfortunately, is lost on any "senators son". quasi

Well, I'm dissatisfied too, but on different grounds. I.e., it no doubt does our soul good to get this down and to share it, but it is hard to believe that any of it or all of it taken together, ever keeps one miserable former draft-evader from sending any people off to fight and die in foreign wars.

[Logos]

Moved from "Poems, Poets, and Poetry" and closed due to discussion of current politics.