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View Full Version : please help me if i dont get a good grade on this I'll fail english and wont graduat



stephofthenight
05-12-2007, 09:35 AM
ok this is from Harper Lee's To Kill A Mockingbird, and it is the final test grade in that class. and could pass or fail me, I have a 70...please help me, i will apreiciate all comments be as harsh as needed all critical critisysm welcome...thanks




dappled imperfections

People are like black leopards, the truth is camouflaged

among the dark surface: its only when you get close enough to

become them can you see the dappled imperfections that makes

them what they are.


Atticus played the mothering role in Scout and Jems life, there

mother died leaving them as blind cubs for Atticus to nurture and

raise. Atticus taught his children many admirable values. He

raised them to be kind, tolerant, and respectful in a society that

is full of hate and discrimination. He especially stressed to them

how wrong it is to judge others; and said to put themselves in

others shoes before they say anything. He taught Scout not to

fight physically, instead to mentally dominate her opponents.

Atticus was an excellent role model to his children and an

example to them of how to live in a changing world and not to fall

into the deceitful lies and cruelties of life. Atticus believed

forcefully that judgment was wrong, and that you don't know

how a persons life is unless you are walking in their shoes; you

have no clue on how they feel about things they see and the

problems that they have faced. When people are in a difficult

delima it is easy to judge what we would do in their situation, but

when we honestly walk in their shoes we find the truth and

understanding. we all hide our spots of imperfection like

Mrs.Deubose, you can never see what they don't want you to

see unless you walk around the world looking through their eyes.


Atticus brought the children up to be kind to the worst. He

made the children show respect to Mrs.Dubose even though she

wasn't very polite and spent a lot of time praying on Atticus in

front of Scout and Jem. Atticus felt that they should still try and

please her; even if it meant holding in your opinion sometimes.

Mrs. Dubose was an exemplary character who Lee showed this

through. after an extremely harsh hashing Jem got mad and cut

some of her bushes down.


Atticus made him read to Mrs. Dubose as a punishment.

Later, when they learned she had died, Atticus said: "...She had

her own views about things, a lot different from mine,

maybe...son. I wanted you to see what real courage is, instead

of getting the idea that courage is a man with a gun in his hand.

It's when you know you're licked before you begin but you begin

anyway and you see it through no matter what. You rarely win,

but sometimes you do. Mrs. Dubose won...she died beholden to

nothing and nobody. She was the bravest person I ever knew."

in this way Atticus shows the children that sometimes bravery is

hidden in disguise as evil or even cowardness.


Mrs. Dubose seemed to be something else because her spots

where hidden by the dark appearance of meth, towards the end

of her life though Jem and Scout begin to see past the dark

surface and recognize the spots. some people mistake black

leopards for panthers,but if you take the time to look carefully no

matter how dark, the spots are still there. Because Jem began to

spend time with Mrs.Dubose; he began to see the spots of

humanity, and the past that was ruined by meth.




works cited
Lee, Harper. To Kill a Mockingbird. New York: Glencoe/McGraw-Hill,1960

stephofthenight
05-12-2007, 10:47 AM
omg im going to fail

kilted exile
05-12-2007, 11:04 AM
Ok, I will preface this by saying that I have not read To Kill a Mockingbird (yes, I know, I should) so I can not deal with specifics regarding the novel. However I do have a couple of comments regarding the essay itself.

It reads to me like a book report. Is there any specific question you are trying to answer?

It appears to me to just end. I think it needs a conclusion of some kind.

It may be a little short (555wds) I am not sure what level it is for, but I know when I took English at high school in Scotland we were always told our essays were to be a min of 800wds max of 2000.

Derringer
05-12-2007, 12:23 PM
I will try and help. Changes I made our in italics and red

Dappled Imperfections

People are like black leopards, the truth is camouflaged

among the dark surface: I would use a '-' it's only when you get close enough to see that they are not flawed, but have difficuties in their life their lives difficult . Even this is not that good of a sentence. I don't know if you want to be using 'you' in a formal essay. Right here you should have a thesis statement- maybe something like: Atticus helps the children learn empathy by exposing them to many life experiences such as Ms. Dubose, ect.


Atticus was the single parent (Atticus was not a mother, but I know what you are trying to say)of Scout and Jem's life because there

mother died leaving them as blind cubs I think this should be removed. It seems out of place for Atticus to nurture and

raise. Atticus taught his children many admirable values, such as being kind, tolerant, and respectful in a society that

is full of hate and discrimination. He especially stressed to them

how wrong it is to judge others and said to put themselves in

others shoes before they say anything. He taught Scout not to

fight physically, but instead to mentally dominate her opponents.

Atticus was an excellent role model to his children and an

example to them of how to live in a changing world and not to fall

into the deceitful lies and cruelties of life. Atticus believed

forcefully that judgment was wrong, and that you don't know

how a persons life is unless you are walking in their shoes; you

have no clue on how they feel about things they see and the

problems that they have faced. When people are in a difficult

delima spelling it is easy to judge what we would do in their situation, but

when we honestly walk in their shoes we find the truth and

understanding. We all hide our spots of imperfection like

Mrs.Deubose is this spelled correctly?, you can never see what they do not want you to

see unless you walk around the world looking through their eyes.


Atticus brought the children up to be kind to the worst. To the worst or to people who are suffering or underpriveledged? I wouldn't use the word worst because the whole point of the book is that these people are not the 'worst He

made the children show respect to Mrs.Dubose even though she

was not very polite and spent a lot of time praying is praying the word you want here? on Atticus in

front of Scout and Jem. Atticus felt that they should still try and

please her, even if it means holding in your opinion sometimes.
After an extremely harsh hashing what does the word 'hasing' mean -- are you refering to the fact that she was addicted to morphine or that she scolded Jem? Jem got mad and cut

some of her bushes down.


Atticus made him should this be her? read to Mrs. Dubose as a punishment.

Later when they learned she had died, Atticus said: "She had

her own views about things, a lot different from mine,

...son. I wanted you to see what real courage is, instead

of getting the idea that courage is a man with a gun in his hand.

It's when you know you're licked before you begin but you begin

anyway and you see it through no matter what. You rarely win,

but sometimes you do. Mrs. Dubose won...she died beholden to

nothing and nobody. She was the bravest person I ever knew." You will need to put down the page number here. It is a long quote - do you need all of it to make your point?

In this way Atticus shows the children that sometimes bravery is

hidden in disguise as evil or even cowardness.


Mrs. Dubose seemed to be something else because her spots

where hidden by the dark appearance of meth (its morphine I think), towards the end

of her life though Jem and Scout begin to see past the dark

surface and recognize the spots What do you mean by the spots?. Some people mistake black

leopards for panthers,but if you take the time to look carefully no

matter how dark, the spots are still there. Jem began began to see the spots of

humanity, and the past that was ruined by morphine.


OK. It's not that bad:) - writing good takes a long time to learn. I'm not even that close to being a good writer, it gets harder as you get older for some reason. One thing is a don't know if you should be using the word 'you' in an essay. The metaphor is also unclear, but I think using metaphors in an essay is awesome. Make your thesis clear. Use description to empathize your point, but also try and build upon what Harper is trying to say with the novel - What do you think about the topics you presented? ps you don't have to use 'I' for this point.

I don't think you should fail - good luck!