MAXIM
05-11-2007, 08:13 AM
Horoscope And Jealousy
Friends,
You must be wondering…
‘Horoscope and Jealousy’, What an odd combo?
What this fellow must be writing?
To tell you the truth, I am not yet talented enough to write articles or stories about such unrelated combinations as ‘Horoscope and Jealousy’ or ‘Horoscope and sand beaches’ or ‘Jealousy and sofa-set’
Actually, some years ago, I wrote two separate and really short articles (humor, satire, whatever you call them) on ‘Horoscopes’ and ‘Jealousy’, but there were no takers for them in the publishing world. Then a dear friend gave me the idea to put them in internet, and so here I am with my two small pieces.
If I have been able to lure you into reading this far, please, please don’t click now at the Back Arrow symbol somewhere on the top left corner of your computer, but just continue reading. Also, lesser are your expectations from me, lesser will be your disappointment. Publishers are not fools!
OH! THESE HOROSCOPES
I read somewhere - Ninety-nine percent people read horoscopes and remaining one percent are liars. Going by this, I don’t come in the category of liars. I read a horoscope whenever I come across it. It’s not that I frantically scan newspapers and magazines for horoscopes. But while leafing through a paper or magazine wherever I see a horoscope column, I stop and make it a point to read what is being forecasted for Capricornions. Long time back when I was in school and in my teens, I also used to evince keen interest on what is being forecasted about a ‘Gemini’ girl. Then there was a time when I got as much interested in the future of ‘Pisces’ people as I was in the future of Capricornions. When I got engaged, I began to glance at the future and likings and disliking of Aries group. Once married, we became proud parents of a daughter born under Taurus sign, and then Tauruseans also began to look dear people to us. However, now, nearly a decade after my marriage I have again restricted myself to reading largely about the future of Capricornions.
The weekly future forecast sometimes amuses me. Sometimes it soothes me and there are times, when it even inspires me. I however don’t take the predictions too seriously and rarely dwell long on them. Real world has hammered enough sense in me and I know that the world is not run as per horoscopes. Proper planning, hard work, courage, perseverance, burning desire etc. are the ingredients that will help one to succeed more than his or her sun sign. There is also something that is termed as - God’s grace. But again, God’s grace comes easy to the people who believe that ‘God help those who help themselves’ and ‘Work is worship’.
Sometimes I visualize the weekly astrologer of a newspaper as a person, who keeps volumes of notes about day to day affairs of people such as: There is a possibility of travel to east this week, Money will come from unexpected source, Health will need care, Romance is in the air, your neighbor will try to defame you etc. I, then imagine the astrologer resorting to a game of roulette for roughly an hour every week, with each number on the circle corresponding to a specific prediction. He relates each result to a sun sign and thus finalizes the weekly fate of the people of various sun signs. Sometimes a prediction hits bull’s eye and one can not help marveling at the uncanny way the prediction has come true. Majority of times, however, predictions are off the mark or they are of such general nature that their turning true doesn’t evoke much surprise. For example, you will enjoy good meals this week. Man, if you have been enjoying good meals round the year, then what is surprise if you enjoy good meals for another week.
One day it so happened that the weekly columns began to predict a ‘romance in the air’ for me. First I saw it in one paper and then I saw it in another paper. I saw it again next week and also saw a stronger version of the prediction in the monthly forecast of a magazine. This way, I kept getting strong feelers consistently for quite sometime. Someone, probably Hitler, had commented: ‘If you keep saying the same thing again and again, then people will begin to believe it, even if it is untrue’. I too fell in this trap as the forecasts kept goading me to look for a new romance in my life. I looked for it in the markets, I looked for it in the roads, I looked for it in the workplace and I looked for it wherever possibility existed.
However, nothing great happened for long, except me receiving few peculiar looks from some known and unknown members of the opposite sex. Ultimately, I had to confide in my wife and tell her that nothing special is happening in my life in spite of papers predicting a blooming romance for me. She put me firmly in place by saying, ‘Mister, this romance is not for you but it is for Capricornions half your age’. It was a strong point but I still don’t fully believe her. If any astrologer is reading this, will he or she please answer this : Whenever a ‘love or romance in the air’ is predicted in the weekly horoscope, is the prediction valid simultaneously for all age group of people, that is, even if they belong to age groups of forties, fifties, sixties, seventies, eighties, nineties and even above that? By the way, I am only forty.
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
OH! JEALOUSY
Jealousy is a pretty strong emotion and I wonder if we can completely eliminate it from our system. We often feel jealous of people whom we know well such as our close friends, colleagues, neighbors and relatives. When competition is involved, these people also look like adversaries to us, and if any adversary succeeds at something and we fail at it, the feelings of jealousy cloud our mind. The first punch of jealousy lands hard on our face and plays havoc with our facial expressions and body language. All color drains out from the face and a fake smile plays on our lips. A dull, defeated and quavering voice emanates from our vocal chords. When we grudgingly congratulate our adversary on his success, our handshake is not at all firm, and we are not even able to look straight into his eyes. Our heart is set on fire whereas a cold blizzard blows in our mind. Our adversary also clearly sees and understands what is going on in our mind. If he happens to be a spiteful fellow, he brags and cooks up spicy new stories during conversation, which simply act as a fuel for the fire burning in our heart. If our adversary happens to be a good person, he becomes quiet after a short while and tries to console us in a roundabout way.
In English we have this phrase ‘turning green with envy’. We should be thankful to God that we don’t actually turn green when we feel envy or jealousy. Just imagine, how embarrassing our lives will become if our faces start turning green whenever the envious feelings possesses us. Where will we go and hide our face when our friend enthusiastically announces that he has got an appointment letter from NASA, and on hearing this, our face suddenly changes to green color in the same style as the traffic light changes to green at a road crossing? On other hand, seeing greenery on some faces on certain occasions will provide us a huge pleasure. After a lot of deliberate hassles and politics, your first official trip to a far-off foreign country materializes. You go purposefully with a packet of sweet to your colleagues, who were conspiring against you, and find to your utter glee that all of them have faces as green as the green of a billiards table. A person reeling under jealousy just prays for one thing: If my ship is sinking, then God, please, sink the ships of all other persons.
The cut-throat competitive society of today is so full of small and big jealousies that if we start turning green on feeling jealous, the whole world would start looking like a lush green jungle. Your neighbor’s daughter gets selected in the school’s basketball team but your daughter fails to get selected, you turn to green color for few days. Your story or article gets published in a prominent newspaper or magazine and some of your close literary friends and neighbors acquire a green tan for a month. Your marriage gets fixed to a good boy, and your childhood friend and her parents become of green color for a fortnight. Your boyfriend exchanges few harmless glances with a girl prettier than you in the bus and to your great horror, you start turning into a green chilli against your wishes. They both look laughingly at you and you feel like jumping off from the running bus.
A hard-working, good-natured and successful friend of mine applies a novel method to safeguard himself from the jealousies of his colleagues in his office. My friend, we will call him X, has fabricated and circulated a story in his office that he suffers from a severe and mysterious pain on his left thumb. The moment he begins to feel very joyous, the pain would start, and in spite of taking treatment from best doctors, and even conducting minor operations on his thumb, the problem still persisted. ‘It is something psychological converting into a physical pain’, he tries to explain the nuances to his colleagues. Every time X tastes success of any kind and he finds himself surrounded in a jealous environment, he brings an expression of agony on his face and announces somberly, ‘My thumb is troubling me again’. When X gets up from his chair, everybody in the office crowd in to, watch his, ‘Dance with the Pain’. X dances vigorously like a crazy rock star for five-ten minutes, intermittently letting out very realistic sounding piteous howls. Then he slumps exhausted in his chair. By this time, the jealousy of his colleagues has completely vanished. They start a discussion among themselves “The poor fellow will never get rid of his thumb problem. We are, in fact, much better off than him. This bugger, can’t even enjoy his own success.” X has this funny theory about positive and negative energy vibrations pervading the universe. He tells me that by lessening the jealousies of people in his office he is reducing the negative vibes in the office and thus indirectly contributing in lowering the net negative vibes of the universe.
I just shudder to think about the tremendous jump in the negative energy vibes in his office, if his colleagues discover one fine day that there is nothing wrong with his thumb. I imagine the roof of his office blasting off towards the sky.
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Thank you, dear readers for sparing your valuable time. Any feedback (good, bad, nasty) will be bonus.:flare: ;) :( :yawnb: :(
Friends,
You must be wondering…
‘Horoscope and Jealousy’, What an odd combo?
What this fellow must be writing?
To tell you the truth, I am not yet talented enough to write articles or stories about such unrelated combinations as ‘Horoscope and Jealousy’ or ‘Horoscope and sand beaches’ or ‘Jealousy and sofa-set’
Actually, some years ago, I wrote two separate and really short articles (humor, satire, whatever you call them) on ‘Horoscopes’ and ‘Jealousy’, but there were no takers for them in the publishing world. Then a dear friend gave me the idea to put them in internet, and so here I am with my two small pieces.
If I have been able to lure you into reading this far, please, please don’t click now at the Back Arrow symbol somewhere on the top left corner of your computer, but just continue reading. Also, lesser are your expectations from me, lesser will be your disappointment. Publishers are not fools!
OH! THESE HOROSCOPES
I read somewhere - Ninety-nine percent people read horoscopes and remaining one percent are liars. Going by this, I don’t come in the category of liars. I read a horoscope whenever I come across it. It’s not that I frantically scan newspapers and magazines for horoscopes. But while leafing through a paper or magazine wherever I see a horoscope column, I stop and make it a point to read what is being forecasted for Capricornions. Long time back when I was in school and in my teens, I also used to evince keen interest on what is being forecasted about a ‘Gemini’ girl. Then there was a time when I got as much interested in the future of ‘Pisces’ people as I was in the future of Capricornions. When I got engaged, I began to glance at the future and likings and disliking of Aries group. Once married, we became proud parents of a daughter born under Taurus sign, and then Tauruseans also began to look dear people to us. However, now, nearly a decade after my marriage I have again restricted myself to reading largely about the future of Capricornions.
The weekly future forecast sometimes amuses me. Sometimes it soothes me and there are times, when it even inspires me. I however don’t take the predictions too seriously and rarely dwell long on them. Real world has hammered enough sense in me and I know that the world is not run as per horoscopes. Proper planning, hard work, courage, perseverance, burning desire etc. are the ingredients that will help one to succeed more than his or her sun sign. There is also something that is termed as - God’s grace. But again, God’s grace comes easy to the people who believe that ‘God help those who help themselves’ and ‘Work is worship’.
Sometimes I visualize the weekly astrologer of a newspaper as a person, who keeps volumes of notes about day to day affairs of people such as: There is a possibility of travel to east this week, Money will come from unexpected source, Health will need care, Romance is in the air, your neighbor will try to defame you etc. I, then imagine the astrologer resorting to a game of roulette for roughly an hour every week, with each number on the circle corresponding to a specific prediction. He relates each result to a sun sign and thus finalizes the weekly fate of the people of various sun signs. Sometimes a prediction hits bull’s eye and one can not help marveling at the uncanny way the prediction has come true. Majority of times, however, predictions are off the mark or they are of such general nature that their turning true doesn’t evoke much surprise. For example, you will enjoy good meals this week. Man, if you have been enjoying good meals round the year, then what is surprise if you enjoy good meals for another week.
One day it so happened that the weekly columns began to predict a ‘romance in the air’ for me. First I saw it in one paper and then I saw it in another paper. I saw it again next week and also saw a stronger version of the prediction in the monthly forecast of a magazine. This way, I kept getting strong feelers consistently for quite sometime. Someone, probably Hitler, had commented: ‘If you keep saying the same thing again and again, then people will begin to believe it, even if it is untrue’. I too fell in this trap as the forecasts kept goading me to look for a new romance in my life. I looked for it in the markets, I looked for it in the roads, I looked for it in the workplace and I looked for it wherever possibility existed.
However, nothing great happened for long, except me receiving few peculiar looks from some known and unknown members of the opposite sex. Ultimately, I had to confide in my wife and tell her that nothing special is happening in my life in spite of papers predicting a blooming romance for me. She put me firmly in place by saying, ‘Mister, this romance is not for you but it is for Capricornions half your age’. It was a strong point but I still don’t fully believe her. If any astrologer is reading this, will he or she please answer this : Whenever a ‘love or romance in the air’ is predicted in the weekly horoscope, is the prediction valid simultaneously for all age group of people, that is, even if they belong to age groups of forties, fifties, sixties, seventies, eighties, nineties and even above that? By the way, I am only forty.
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
OH! JEALOUSY
Jealousy is a pretty strong emotion and I wonder if we can completely eliminate it from our system. We often feel jealous of people whom we know well such as our close friends, colleagues, neighbors and relatives. When competition is involved, these people also look like adversaries to us, and if any adversary succeeds at something and we fail at it, the feelings of jealousy cloud our mind. The first punch of jealousy lands hard on our face and plays havoc with our facial expressions and body language. All color drains out from the face and a fake smile plays on our lips. A dull, defeated and quavering voice emanates from our vocal chords. When we grudgingly congratulate our adversary on his success, our handshake is not at all firm, and we are not even able to look straight into his eyes. Our heart is set on fire whereas a cold blizzard blows in our mind. Our adversary also clearly sees and understands what is going on in our mind. If he happens to be a spiteful fellow, he brags and cooks up spicy new stories during conversation, which simply act as a fuel for the fire burning in our heart. If our adversary happens to be a good person, he becomes quiet after a short while and tries to console us in a roundabout way.
In English we have this phrase ‘turning green with envy’. We should be thankful to God that we don’t actually turn green when we feel envy or jealousy. Just imagine, how embarrassing our lives will become if our faces start turning green whenever the envious feelings possesses us. Where will we go and hide our face when our friend enthusiastically announces that he has got an appointment letter from NASA, and on hearing this, our face suddenly changes to green color in the same style as the traffic light changes to green at a road crossing? On other hand, seeing greenery on some faces on certain occasions will provide us a huge pleasure. After a lot of deliberate hassles and politics, your first official trip to a far-off foreign country materializes. You go purposefully with a packet of sweet to your colleagues, who were conspiring against you, and find to your utter glee that all of them have faces as green as the green of a billiards table. A person reeling under jealousy just prays for one thing: If my ship is sinking, then God, please, sink the ships of all other persons.
The cut-throat competitive society of today is so full of small and big jealousies that if we start turning green on feeling jealous, the whole world would start looking like a lush green jungle. Your neighbor’s daughter gets selected in the school’s basketball team but your daughter fails to get selected, you turn to green color for few days. Your story or article gets published in a prominent newspaper or magazine and some of your close literary friends and neighbors acquire a green tan for a month. Your marriage gets fixed to a good boy, and your childhood friend and her parents become of green color for a fortnight. Your boyfriend exchanges few harmless glances with a girl prettier than you in the bus and to your great horror, you start turning into a green chilli against your wishes. They both look laughingly at you and you feel like jumping off from the running bus.
A hard-working, good-natured and successful friend of mine applies a novel method to safeguard himself from the jealousies of his colleagues in his office. My friend, we will call him X, has fabricated and circulated a story in his office that he suffers from a severe and mysterious pain on his left thumb. The moment he begins to feel very joyous, the pain would start, and in spite of taking treatment from best doctors, and even conducting minor operations on his thumb, the problem still persisted. ‘It is something psychological converting into a physical pain’, he tries to explain the nuances to his colleagues. Every time X tastes success of any kind and he finds himself surrounded in a jealous environment, he brings an expression of agony on his face and announces somberly, ‘My thumb is troubling me again’. When X gets up from his chair, everybody in the office crowd in to, watch his, ‘Dance with the Pain’. X dances vigorously like a crazy rock star for five-ten minutes, intermittently letting out very realistic sounding piteous howls. Then he slumps exhausted in his chair. By this time, the jealousy of his colleagues has completely vanished. They start a discussion among themselves “The poor fellow will never get rid of his thumb problem. We are, in fact, much better off than him. This bugger, can’t even enjoy his own success.” X has this funny theory about positive and negative energy vibrations pervading the universe. He tells me that by lessening the jealousies of people in his office he is reducing the negative vibes in the office and thus indirectly contributing in lowering the net negative vibes of the universe.
I just shudder to think about the tremendous jump in the negative energy vibes in his office, if his colleagues discover one fine day that there is nothing wrong with his thumb. I imagine the roof of his office blasting off towards the sky.
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Thank you, dear readers for sparing your valuable time. Any feedback (good, bad, nasty) will be bonus.:flare: ;) :( :yawnb: :(