Faith is the key

[aashishameya]

A thirsty dew drop
Rest on the slanted time leaf
Enclosed by immortal crop
Becomes blind and deaf;
Crying for help
And craving to free herself
Skidding towards the verge
Where death smiling on her
And her life trembling with fear
But the happiness of life depends upon death
What she need is... faith and only faith
From water to vapor;
Vapour to dew,
different bodiess, same soul
Transformation is an eternal process
As dew dropp gets glimpses of the truth
Freedom echoes in her soul
Divine voices vibrate everywhere
And she is ready to go there
Without any fear

[Aunty-lion]

I love the line,

From water to vapor;
Vapour to dew,

But I think that this line makes your point clear, that


Transformation is an eternal process

So I think I'd like it better if you stuck to the first metaphor and left out the second explanation. Sometimes overstating a point can kill it. You've got to have 'faith' that your readers will understand.

Well done though :thumbs_up

Aunty xox

[kren]

I agree with Aunty-lion to a certian degree..

at one level, adding the line "Transformation is an eternal process"
would render the metaphor you had established in previous lines less significant.
However, it all depends on what you're aiming for. From the way i see it, you're not aiming at being ambiguous, and adding that bit on "Transformation" fortifies the conceit of the drop of water and the soul/person (did i get that right?). So this is a bit tricky since you later on add "Divine voices vibrate everywhere" to drive your point. If you wanted to omit the bit on "Transformation" then there's no place for this either.

Personally, i really like it the way it is. Its a blend of the metaphysical poetry and naturalism.. like a John Donne and Robert Frost hybrid.. in a manner of speaking.

[Pendragon]

Not bad. Reincarnation, as the water cycle: droplets fall, evaporate, and fall again, no? http://i94.photobucket.com/albums/l108/AbsalomKane/Bluebird.gif

[aashishameya]

thank u very much guys for comments...