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Paxhope
05-07-2007, 02:42 PM
My first post....
I covet comments.
Thanks,
Juan

"Home Movie"

At thirteen your long arms and legs
Shoveled the sands behind you
As you gamboled up the steep sand dune.

Your father’s home movie shows
Four sisters and your step-mom
Ascending slowly, though not for effort.

Why non Parnassus?
Non whoopee summitus?
Did sand jam the camera?
Perhaps your Dad wearied of too many starlets.

Dancing, laughing, whirling,
You dared Olympus to throw you down.

Now, proportioned and perfected,
You return your own wide grin and prophesy,
“Look, there’s your Mommy
Clowning and climbing for my father,
Whom we’ll meet again on our way down.”

vhaney
05-07-2007, 03:06 PM
Hey Paxhope,
Nice piece of free verse. Good imagery.

The middle stanza seems to have a melacholy almost angry feel.
Maybe it is just me. I am not good at critiquing but I do like your poem.

Welcome

Paxhope
05-09-2007, 06:51 AM
Thanks, VHaney! :cool: