Do we really need to smile when we are happy?

[Shipra]

I used to be a very cheerful girl.. always smiling no matter what.. laughing at my own mistakes.. ever since i've got married i realised that i cant even realise the state of being happy.. sometime my dears n nears do the things to make me happy.. but i jus do not understand whats wrong with me,, i cant even smile for myself .. when there was a time when mere persence of me used to give a shine n smile to all.. i'm being very dull lately.. help!:(

[nps_marina]

Hey Shipra
it's hard at times, to be happy. And you don't know why it happens, yet it does. It's really insufferable, and you might think you are unable of getting out of there... but I believe you can, and you will.
I don't know why you can't smile, either... but I can't force you into it... so... just know that you will!

[Bakiryu]

I don't smile anymore, I've realized that If i show happiness in my face someone will come and ruin it. This happens to me 99.99999% of the time.
It's better to be happy in the inside, knowing you're happy is enought without a smile.

[SleepyWitch]

I used to be a very cheerful girl.. always smiling no matter what.. laughing at my own mistakes.. ever since i've got married i realised that i cant even realise the state of being happy.. sometime my dears n nears do the things to make me happy.. but i jus do not understand whats wrong with me,, i cant even smile for myself .. when there was a time when mere persence of me used to give a shine n smile to all.. i'm being very dull lately.. help!:(

do you mean your unhappy because there's something wrong with your marriage? or do you mean your unhappiness just happened to set in around the same time?

sometimes when I've been unhappy for a long time, I just decide that I'm fed up with being grumpy and want to be happy... most of the time it works and as soon as I've decided to be happy I actually am :)

[subterranean]

Do we really need to smile when we are happy? No, we dont. We can shout!

[katie9trent]

Maybe you need to look deeper. Your marrage partner, does he make you happy. If not, that could be the problem.

[Reccura]

I don't smile anymore, I've realized that If i show happiness in my face someone will come and ruin it. This happens to me 99.99999% of the time.

Hey, what's wrong with smiling? People around look so smuggish and sluggish, because they don't smiule. But when they do, it makes them look decent and proper, and it really shows that you're a good person. I don't smile a lot outside, some guys (tambay) will come and smile at me and they'd whistle. That's why I doin't smile because it's so disgusting... :sick:


It's better to be happy in the inside, knowing you're happy is enought without a smile.

Well, you've got a point there. ;)

[Aunty-lion]

I'm a big smiler. I know this sounds like a load of rubbish, but it has been scientifically proven that smiling and laughing (even fake smiles and laughs) releases endorphins in your brain that make you even happier and healthier.

When i go through non-smiley phases, I just force myself to laugh out loud. I always sound so stupid doing this that it makes me start laughing at myself for real!

Aunty-lion says: Fake it till you make it!!!

[aeroport]

I'm a big smiler. I know this sounds like a load of rubbish, but it has been scientifically proven that smiling and laughing (even fake smiles and laughs) releases endorphins in your brain that make you even happier and healthier.

Aunty-lion says: Fake it till you make it!!!

I never feel so uncomfortable as when laughing or smiling nervously and without sincerity. It's an awful habit which I am trying to have done with; I didn't always do it, but I guess somewhere along the way I decided that, since I do not talk much, I should do something to let people know I did not hate them or something. I was very wrong. People will think as they like.

Jamesian says: Sincerity above all!

[Lote-Tree]

I used to be a very cheerful girl.. always smiling no matter what.. laughing at my own mistakes.. ever since i've got married i realised that i cant even realise the state of being happy..


Is marriage not a happy marriage then?

[Aunty-lion]

I never feel so uncomfortable as when laughing or smiling nervously and without sincerity. It's an awful habit which I am trying to have done with; I didn't always do it, but I guess somewhere along the way I decided that, since I do not talk much, I should do something to let people know I did not hate them or something. I was very wrong. People will think as they like.

Jamesian says: Sincerity above all!

Fair enough Jamesian. You're keeping me honest aren't ya.

I wasn't thinking so much about fake-smiling in public, so much as in private. It's not a habit of mine to smile insincerely in public, so I wasn't really thinking about it that way. More as just a trick to play on your body/mind if you are in need of a non-chemical pick-me-up.

I realise it won't be for everyone though. Thanks for having me up on it.

I too support sincerity above all (generally) - that was honest of me wasn't it??

[Madhuri]

If I am happy I smile all the time, there's this big grin on my face. No matter how much I try to suppress my smile, I fail. I don't know how people feel happy but have to decide if they need to smile. It's more like an involuntary action resulting from the happiness within. I think genuine and a sincere smile is a symbol of happiness, the two are connected, one can't go without the other.

[Kit1]

'Two roads diverged in a wood and I,
I took the one less travelled by,
And that has made all the difference'.

Retrace your steps, then ask yourself which path you really want to take.

Alternatively, supplement your diet with fish oils - these are good for depression!

[Lote-Tree]

Retrace your steps, then ask yourself which path you really want to take.


The path is already taken - there is no going back - it is never that simple...



Alternatively, supplement your diet with fish oils - these are good for depression!

LOL :-) What if you are vegetarian :-)

[Aunty-lion]

If I am happy I smile all the time, there's this big grin on my face. No matter how much I try to suppress my smile, I fail. I don't know how people feel happy but have to decide if they need to smile. It's more like an involuntary action resulting from the happiness within. I think genuine and a sincere smile is a symbol of happiness, the two are connected, one can't go without the other.

I also love the sincerity of an insupressable, natural smile. As I wrote, I'm a very smily person.

However, being intimately acquainted with depression in many different parts of and times in my life, I have come to learn that there are methods to create a little joy out of the blankness.

Laughing is one, fishoil (or linseed oil if you're a vegan like me) is another. For many people I know, having a tidy house is another. There are heaps.

I have helped several people work through those periods of numbness and emptiness before, and I have learned that sometimes, any relief from the darkness can be useful. However unnatural or 'fake' it is in the beginning, it can bring 'sincere' happiness (however small).

[Madhuri]

I also love the sincerity of an insupressable, natural smile. As I wrote, I'm a very smily person.

However, being intimately acquainted with depression in many different parts of and times in my life, I have come to learn that there are methods to create a little joy out of the blankness.

Laughing is one, fishoil (or linseed oil if you're a vegan like me) is another. For many people I know, having a tidy house is another. There are heaps.

I have helped several people work through those periods of numbness and emptiness before, and I have learned that sometimes, any relief from the darkness can be useful. However unnatural or 'fake' it is in the beginning, it can bring 'sincere' happiness (however small).


I agree :nod:

I was merely replying to the question in the thread title. I was wondering if I am happy how can I not smile? :)

Sometimes people take certain situations as the end. Maybe Shipra is going through a phase where she thinks that marriage is the end, because obviously there are more constraints and limilations. There is a greater responsibility in marriage, and sometimes people feel depressed thinking there is no escape. So, even if the marriage is great, the mindset makes it more difficult to accept it as a new beginning and something to look forward to. Just my interpretation, I could be wrong also.

[Aunty-lion]

Yeah,
I'm with you Madhuri.
I'd be smiling right now if my toe wasn't so sore! (stupid bookshelf in my way...mutter..mutter...grumble)

[Lote-Tree]

The Smiling Thing is quite boring isn't it? Everyone can do it. Even babies can do it. So lets be imaginitive and not be smiling or unsmiling but something rather complex which takes someone to figure out...like a puzzle :-)

[Shipra]

I'm a big smiler. I know this sounds like a load of rubbish, but it has been scientifically proven that smiling and laughing (even fake smiles and laughs) releases endorphins in your brain that make you even happier and healthier.

When i go through non-smiley phases, I just force myself to laugh out loud. I always sound so stupid doing this that it makes me start laughing at myself for real!

Aunty-lion says: Fake it till you make it!!!

Well i suppose u are right.. thanx a bunch buddy!:)

[Reccura]

If I am happy I smile all the time, there's this big grin on my face. No matter how much I try to suppress my smile, I fail. I don't know how people feel happy but have to decide if they need to smile. It's more like an involuntary action resulting from the happiness within. I think genuine and a sincere smile is a symbol of happiness, the two are connected, one can't go without the other.

Correct, correct, and correct! A+, Madhuri! You totally took the words out of my mouth. :D

[Madhuri]

Correct, correct, and correct! A+, Madhuri! You totally took the words out of my mouth. :D

An A+, for me :blush: :D :banana:

I don't remember when was the last time I got an A+ in anything. But, this makes me feel real good :p :D

[Shalot]

:) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :)


I'm smiling because I don't know what's going on

[Aunty-lion]

I had to do a scary speech in class today, and I tell you what, the only thing that stopped me from crying was the fact that all of my classmates were sitting there smiling and nodding their heads at me. It was sooo nice. See, a smile can go a long way.

[SleepyWitch]

revived
... well, sort of.. nothing to do with Scher's "revive a thread" game, but I have a few questions about happiness (:alien: *pointy ears*), so I thought I'd put them here.
the thing is, I'm usually neither especially happy nor unhappy. I just kinda live my life and that's it. there are lots of things that make me angry, and lots of things I find funny, but I normally don't bother to feel happy/unhappy about stuff. :alien: or maybe I'm just too lazy to smile insanely or cry all the time???
this isn't a problem as long as people don't expect me to be happy or unhappy about things that are generally considered to make ppl feel (un)happy.
I'll give you some examples:
things that should make me 'happy' but don't: good marks (have had too many of them to care)
things that should make me unhappy/sad but don't: my uncle committed suicide a couple of years ago, my grandparents died a couple of years back... but we never had much to do with the uncle and my grandparents were largely a pain (especially my grandmother, grandpa was OK) and I don't miss them one bit and didn't shed a tear at their funerals.

what kinds of things make you guys feel happy or unhappy?

[Sweets America]

The path is already taken - there is no going back - it is never that simple...

Of course there is always a going back. The question is: will you dare to turn back?

Oh, Sleepy, I am like you about the grandparents thing. I am not sad at all that my grandmother died since I was not close to her.

[amanda_isabel]

i'm a pretty smiley person, but, regarding the earlier post about tambays (guys standing by around), the thing is, i don't smile while walking alone, so sometimes when people say hi and i'm not paying attention, they think i'm a snob.

maybe you're just in a slump now. i get that too, when my mood swings strike and i'm a different kind of quiet and i just am so blah. but it will pass. i hope this is your situation now, and not something serious, or you should see a doctor.

[pussnboots]

you don't necessarily need to smile but its almost as if it's a reflex. Happy thoughts or things make people smile.
Some people think that if you don't have a happy face on you must be sad or something. That's a bunch of hogwash!!! IF there is one thing I can't stand it's a fake smile.

[Granny5]

I'm with Auntie about having a smile and laugh. I smile as much as I possibly can and laugh a lot. People around me seem to perk up when I laugh and smile and even if I am unhappy or having a rough day/night, smiling makes it all seem better. It's like telling yourself you are having a bad day. Even if you're not, tell yourself you are enough and you will have a bad day. I believe in my own power to be happy. It's better for your face to smile anyway and at my age, I'll do anything that helps.

[Masud Mahmood]

Shipra,
Why're you down in the mouth and go mopping around? Why don't you give it a damn, and go it alone? Life is beautiful and there're the ones that are envious of your cheerfulness. Don't help them chuckle by looking glum.

[Shalot]

I never feel so uncomfortable as when laughing or smiling nervously and without sincerity. It's an awful habit which I am trying to have done with; I didn't always do it, but I guess somewhere along the way I decided that, since I do not talk much, I should do something to let people know I did not hate them or something. I was very wrong. People will think as they like.

Jamesian says: Sincerity above all!

This is so true. Especially the part about people will think as they like. I wish I had learned this sooner. I could have saved myself a lot of energy.

[Dori]

revived
... well, sort of.. nothing to do with Scher's "revive a thread" game, but I have a few questions about happiness (:alien: *pointy ears*), so I thought I'd put them here.
the thing is, I'm usually neither especially happy nor unhappy. I just kinda live my life and that's it. there are lots of things that make me angry, and lots of things I find funny, but I normally don't bother to feel happy/unhappy about stuff. :alien: or maybe I'm just too lazy to smile insanely or cry all the time???
this isn't a problem as long as people don't expect me to be happy or unhappy about things that are generally considered to make ppl feel (un)happy.
I'll give you some examples:
things that should make me 'happy' but don't: good marks (have had too many of them to care)
things that should make me unhappy/sad but don't: my uncle committed suicide a couple of years ago, my grandparents died a couple of years back... but we never had much to do with the uncle and my grandparents were largely a pain (especially my grandmother, grandpa was OK) and I don't miss them one bit and didn't shed a tear at their funerals.

what kinds of things make you guys feel happy or unhappy?

Desirable stimuli make me happy ( :) ) whereas undesirable stimuli make me unhappy ( :( ).

I've been told that I'm a very emotional male, but I rarely express my emotions publicly. There is one thing that makes me smile irresistably, however, and that is when I come into contact with either a good friend of mine (of which there are only two or three) or my twin brother. This may sound wierd, but is it possible that this is because my good friends are also twins? I think we are the best of friends for this very reason.

[Jane Jane]

I think that a key phrase might be you used to be a happy girl.
When we are not adults, we have more ability, even if life is tuff, to be that little child and see the world in rose colored glasses. AFter all we don't have to pay the bills then or see that the household is running smoothly and money is being used wisely. We don't have to worry about a husband or wife and all that comes with that. Things that we never even understood much less considered become realities when one gets older and then has a marriage and perpaps children to consider. Suddenly our mortality takes on a newer more deep and significant meaning and the shortness of our time on this earth.
Wars and terrors and all sorts of things on the news, even if only in the background now mean much different things than it did as a child when we still thought if everyone was nice we could make it better.
I would just make sure your health is alright, a good checkup wouldn't hurt; and then take stock of what you do with your day and perhaps how lacking in stimulation your artistic side is compared to before.
Perhaps just talking to a third party skilled in counselling would bring something to light you had not been aware of.
Perhaps you will find you still smile a lot and are a light to others, but now from deep within instead of hanging about on your face.
I hope you find out and are very very happy.