heya

[Triskele]

heya, im back after a beatnick inspired sojourn, and a fairly new twist to my poetry, so, here is my Kerouac styled poem, with modern relavence

Despotism

No lies, this occupational slip-stream persona of brain, strains to understand the thought and the why of death, and whose left hand sinister slide derives he end of conscious star-head inspirations of a god-hammer smote, wrecking Da Vinci thought only to break down the human to a Machiavellian automaton, capable only of solitary sleep and a filed walk life, broken down by a paranoid plow hand guillotine for stepping out with a right foot painted with blue berries and blood.

[Pendragon]

Nice. One point. Up where you have the words "left hand sinister slide". Sinister is Latin for "left". With that in mind, down where you have "a right foot painted" may I suggest "a dexterous right foot painted" as dexter is Latin for right. Have a great day! http://i94.photobucket.com/albums/l108/AbsalomKane/Smilies/ThumbsUp.gif

[Triskele]

i was refering to the latin derivation of the word sinister, i think the original is "sinistra". but i didn't know about dexter, i think i will add such a thing... thanks

[Reccura]

It was hard to read, because you wote your poem like it was a sentence. Anyway, nice one. :p I can't wright a decent poem, and I don't know what you and Uncle Pen are talking about; you see, my tongue doesn't have a flair of languages...

[Triskele]

i beg to differ, the statement "flair of languages" is in itself a poetic thought