Love...

[Domer121]

Okay, so I have always liked a good romance story, it always adds drama and there is usually a happy ending.. But what I want to knw is why we, as humans, find love so attractive, I mean in the sense of watching other people fall in and out and such.
I would think that love is something that is so personal and something that is just built in us and that we would just know and not even want to read about it. I mean, lets face it,in todays culture love has been turned into something that just has to do with desire or lust.. Where are the really good love stories, but why do we even care so much??

[Countess]

Love is a mixed blessing or a mixed curse - I haven't decided yet (ironically I wrote on the topic of love in my blog today). The feeling itself is the most wonderful and sublime thing in the entire universe - it inspires, it regenerates, it heals, but knowing that the beloved either cannot love anyone or cannot love you is bittersweet at best.
I have learned to think of love as its own reward (because there are people who cannot love, or whose love is an abberation or dysfunctional, so to be able to love in the purest sense (selflessly) is a gift). Yet, there is still some part of me that aches for fulfillment. I doubt that will ever come, though, so I am trying to learn to be content with the feeling and its expressions.

[Lote-Tree]

I mean, lets face it,in todays culture love has been turned into something that just has to do with desire or lust..


Yes, this what it seems so.

I always held that view that LOVE and SEX are separate.

SEX is the need of the body.

LOVE is the need of the soul.

These days perhaps need of the body outweighs the need of the soul perhaps...

[Nossa]

These days perhaps need of the body outweighs the need of the soul perhaps...

I agree. I've always wondered, how something that is shared between humans and animals, be the ultimate show of love? I mean, as you said, people have turned love into mere lust and desire, leaving NO room for emotions, feeling and likes of that. It's a pity to see that people regard whoever talks about love in its pure, and even genuine meaning, as someone who's a fool or someone who's living in a fantasy world. I still believe that love and affection still exsists, on a very small scale, but still exsists.

[truth_forest]

My friend said that love can't separate from sex. He can't love anyone because he's not sure that he's in love or it's just sexual drive.
Do you think sexual drive is important for love?

[Redzeppelin]

My friend said that love can't separate from sex. He can't love anyone because he's not sure that he's in love or it's just sexual drive.
Do you think sexual drive is important for love?

The meaning of sex is created by the context of a loving, intimate and committed relationship. Without this, sex can be devoid of love and meaning. It may be pleasurable, but it will have no meaning outside of the context I've described.

Is sex necessary for love? No. Does it enhance love? Yes.

[Nossa]

It's required in something like marriage..but ask yourself one question, would you rather have love without sex or the other way around...that's I think will answer your question!

[Countess]

Love without sex. Sex is base; love is sublime. Sex is a temporary high; love is a beautiful, ongoing song of the soul.

[Durgamol]

Human beings are trying for ages to understand how love starts and why ever finishes. And so far we never found ourselves even close to the satysfying answer. And, in my opinion, that is the reason why it is the no. 1 motive in literature

[Redzeppelin]

Love without sex. Sex is base; love is sublime. Sex is a temporary high; love is a beautiful, ongoing song of the soul.

I will agree by adding this: sex is gratifying; love is satisfying. There is an oh-so-important difference between the two, though they might appear very similar at first. Experience both long enough (as well as one without the other) and it gets very clear which is more essential.

[PeterL]

Fundamentally, love is part of DNS's survival strategy, whereby making a man and a woman desire to be close to each other inaddition to engaging in reproductive activity, there is a greater chance for the survival of offspring. If you watch carefully, you will notice that nearly everything that humans do is related to the survival of offspring, and much of that is done unconsciously. Any work of fiction that does not contain something related to survival will not be successful.

[billyjack]

Where are the really good love stories, but why do we even care so much??

maybe we care about love stories so much because people have fallen in love with the idea of being in love. possibly because of this we're always mixing up our desire to be in love with true love itself. true love is spontaneous, and end in itself. the desire to be in love is contrived, lacking spontaneity--like forcing yourself to act natural.

[nps_marina]

maybe we care about love stories so much because people have fallen in love with the idea of being in love. possibly because of this we're always mixing up our desire to be in love with true love itself.

I have to agree with that.
Also, we like love stories because we identify with them. When you are reading a book, or watching a movie, you believe that you are the main character. So in a way all that wonderful stuff is happening to you (just as, when you are reading a thriller, you are in sheer distress and near the verge of apoplexy -if it's a good thriller, you know what I mean-).

As for love and sex and the soul...
I don't believe that love lasts forever. The sensation of completion, found soul, et cetera. But certainly it lasts more, and runs deeper, than sex. So it's certainly much better.
Right now I don't have time to get further into that, and besides I should organixe my own thoughts and try to see what we're talking about here before I start ranting full-fledgedly (sp???).
I'll write s'more later.

[Lote-Tree]

My friend said that love can't separate from sex.


In time I believe one learns the difference between sex and love.



He can't love anyone because he's not sure that he's in love or it's just sexual drive.


Take away the sex and see if anything remains in the relationship. If something is there - then that would be love.



Do you think sexual drive is important for love?
[/quote]

No, but for Sex - yes, very important :-)

[Aunty-lion]

I think that sex is a very important part of true (romantic) love. It is not going to be a part of every type of love because that would be ridiculous.

This might sound kinda gross to some people, but I know that my parents have a full and satisfying sex life. They are also basically the only really long-term couple I know who are still madly in love with each other.

Obviously there are a million other wonderful aspects to their relationship that keep it working, but that is certainly a major one. I know I'd feel pretty awful if my fiance stopped desiring me sexually. Not because that's what our relationship is based on, but because it is important to me that we always have that. I want to know when I'm an old gray woman, that he still wants to jump my bones.

It's not that I think sex is the be all and end all, it's just that I do think it's integral to any ongoing and happy romantic partnership.

I'm glad that my parents still enjoy sex. Weird as it may be for me to talk about it.

[Lote-Tree]

I think that sex is a very important part of true (romantic) love.


Yes. It can be part of Love but not love itself.



This might sound kinda gross to some people, but I know that my parents have a full and satisfying sex life.


It is not gross but natural. It is the need of the body.

[Aunty-lion]

Yeah, Thanks Lote.

I agree entirely.

[kari]

I think that some people like to read the love stories, because we grow up with an idea of how perfect being in love will be. I think it safe to say, that anyone that is in love, or ever has been...is not perfect! Not to say it isn't great...but really can never be perfect. A lot of the love stories someone can read goes back to that idea...reading about that perfect love story.
Kari

[plainjane]

But what I want to knw is why we, as humans, find love so attractive, I mean in the sense of watching other people fall in and out and such.

Could simply be because we live vicariously through others and are possibly afraid to give in and experience for ourselves.

I would think that love is something that is so personal and something that is just built in us and that we would just know and not even want to read about it. I mean, lets face it,in todays culture love has been turned into something that just has to do with desire or lust.. Where are the really good love stories, but why do we even care so much??
I think the urge to love is in all of us, but the expression of love is not easy for some. Trust does not come easily. And shouldn't.

[the silent x]

maybe, love could be a form of social companionship that everyday people yearn for. You can not separate yourself from the want of someone to talk to, you may say you don't need people, that people are noisy, obnxious, morons, and stupid(people as a whole). But at the same, you don't keep sanity for very long if you are isolated for long periods at a time. Why do you think solitary confinement is so bad, why do mom's make kids go to the corner for fifteen minutes, or to their bedrooms where no one is aloud to talk to them. I can go for several days talking to only my family, and secluding myself as much as possible, but at the end of those days, i have a physical urge to go out and carry on a conversation with someone, and thats form someone who is not a people person. if you can, go a weekend, locked in a your home, no human contact, not even getting online to do this forum thing or watching tv,or listening to the radio, and see how you react to others when you see them again, think about what you think of when you are in voluntary seclusion. You can only do so much with only yourself to talk to and no music to lose yourself in. i see kids in my school every day that have their boyfriend/girlfriend entwined in each other and i hate them for it, hate them because they have something i can't get.

[chunwing]

I have to agree with that.
Also, we like love stories because we identify with them. When you are reading a book, or watching a movie, you believe that you are the main character. So in a way all that wonderful stuff is happening to you

I agree with that. I've read some REALLY REALLY superficial chinese romance novels. They are seriously 10 times more superficial than mills & boons. In this author's works, there are these commonalities:
1) The guy is always super wealthy, good looking and muscular.
2) The girl is beautiful and has a body that looks like Barbie.
3) The girl will get hurt at some point, and the guy will come "save" her.

These 3 basically set the scene which everyone wants to be part of.

I dare you to put this to the test. Pick up one of these novels, and replace the main character's name with your enemy's name. I'm sure you'll feel much more rage and jealousy than pleasure!

[Bii]

People are obsessed with love because it's a great antidote to boredom, whether taking part or watching it. A similar situation occurs with violence (think movies / Gladiators), fear (horror movies / rollercoasters), and all other 'extreme' emotions. Like them or not they do make us feel alive, and give us a sense of being separate from the beasts. Seriously, what other service does gossip serve?

[Midas]

Much of my own feelings on this subject are contained in a response I made in another thread: 'The Best Love poems of all'.

However, a concise definition I heard a few years ago from a female of the species was:

'Love is what a man gives to get sex.
Sex is what a women gives (hopefully) to get love'

It struck me there was such an element of underlying truth contained within those few words that I felt it was worth filing in my mind.

( Just in case there are some 'touchy' ones out there, I admit, when generalising, one must make provision for the exceptions.)