Dangerous Butterflies

[Jennylc]

Were they oversized butterflies
it would have been a formidable display.

But they were helicopters
hanging in the sky.
An oppressive pall,
whirring
waiting
gun sights gleaming
shooting at even the merest twitch
their underbellies reflecting
a blood-stained ground.

Terrified faces look up
…and then fall.

In their wake, a concealed calamity.
Bloated bodies float on rubble,
fractured bodies buried beneath.
Sewerage streams down streets
a home delivery of disease
and more death.
A starving dog, once caressed by human flesh, eats it.

And the lawlessness of the modern Trojan
continues, unchallenged.
All other nations united in silence
trembling pathetically before barrels of black booty -
cowards and collaborators……
serving nectar to the butterflies.

[ktd222]

You sure leave nothing to the imagination. I don’t care much for the imagery from stanzas 2, 3, 4, and part of stanza 5 because it is what you say it is: a picture that’s trying to evoke some sort of sympathy from the reader. But what intrigues me is your comparison of butterflies to helicopters and helicopters to being perceived as formidable, and the influence of these “other nations” in feeding to create the perception of an “oversized butterfly” from what would just normally be a butterfly.

[Pendragon]

Imagery is everything in a poem. I cannot stretch my imagination an make a helicopter into a butterfly. May I suggest dragonflys? The poem itself may be dark, but life is often dark. I don't fault you there. Tell it like it is. But use an image that suggests what you mean.

http://i94.photobucket.com/albums/l108/AbsalomKane/dragonfly.gif

[Jennylc]

Thanks Pendragon and ktd, for your comments. And I agree, the butterfly is a strange choice of nature to juxtapose with a helicopter. A dragongly would have been closer to the mark, no doubt.

The reason I used the butterfly is because it is one of the most short-lived, delicate and beautiful of insects. The dragonfly, on the other hand, even though beautiful in it's own way, struck me as menacing and frightening as child (before I was told they were harmless). It seems a stonger, more determined entity, where the butterfly has a tenuous presence. Compared to an armed helicopter, the human has a similar fragility as the butterfly does to a human - who could, if they wished, crush a butterfly without any effort.

[ktd222]

It seems a stonger, more determined entity, where the butterfly has a tenuous presence. Compared to an armed helicopter, the human has a similar fragility as the butterfly does to a human - who could, if they wished, crush a butterfly without any effort.

Yes, I agree with what you've said. This is the part of your poem I liked: the perception of something or someone being formidable.


serving nectar to the butterflies.

Were they oversized butterflies
it would have been a formidable display.

I really like this last line because it brings me back to the first line in your poem where the butterfly, by way of other nations being silent, is feeding to create this "oversized butterfly" that now is perceived as formidable.

[Jennylc]

I really like this last line because it brings me back to the first line in your poem where the butterfly, by way of other nations being silent, is feeding to create this "oversized butterfly" that now is perceived as formidable.

It is a wonderful day when a poet is given new insight into their own poem.

When I was a teenager, I was asked to write a story based on a picture put in front of the class. It was a barren landscape, dark and forboding, which I filled with "oversized butterflies" whose wings dropped large fragments of technicolor each time they flapped. The landscape transformed into a far more optimistic environment - one filled with hope and anticipation. Now, all I see is black helicopters. A flock of oversized butterflies would be formidable, a swarm of helicopters, terrifying.

Thankyou so much.

[Pendragon]

Thanks Pendragon and ktd, for your comments.

The reason I used the butterfly is because it is one of the most short-lived, delicate and beautiful of insects. The dragonfly, on the other hand, even though beautiful in it's own way, struck me as menacing and frightening as child (before I was told they were harmless). It seems a stonger, more determined entity, where the butterfly has a tenuous presence. Compared to an armed helicopter, the human has a similar fragility as the butterfly does to a human - who could, if they wished, crush a butterfly without any effort.
Anytime. And your explaination stands up after a re-read. I could kick myself for missing it the first time through, but then we always call dragonflys "helicopters" back in these hills, since many of us either served in Korea or 'Nam or had family that did. My father-in-law was in the real MASH 4077th in Korea, and dad was a sergeant in two tours of 'Nam. The helicopters that carried wounded were called "dragonflys". Excellent poem! http://i94.photobucket.com/albums/l108/AbsalomKane/Smilies/ThumbsUp.gif

[Jennylc]

[QUOTE=Pendragon;371192]Anytime. And your explaination stands up after a re-read. I could kick myself for missing it the first time through, but then we always call dragonflys "helicopters" back in these hills, since many of us either served in Korea or 'Nam or had family that did. My father-in-law was in the real MASH 4077th in Korea, and dad was a sergeant in two tours of 'Nam. The helicopters that carried wounded were called "dragonflys". Excellent poem! [QUOTE]

I didn't know that dragonfly's had been used as a metaphor for helicopters during those wars, so you're original comments make even more sense. And what an excellent metaphor- dragonfly's hover, move quickly and don't look harmless. Very intersting!