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shadowy girl
04-29-2007, 12:25 PM
this is a poem my english teacher corrected for me.. proving how weak english I've got... :( :bawling:


The red Emerald in my chest,
Can bare no more chapters or even pages of my life
I'm a bird lost between the rays of the sun, looking for a nest
But my loneliness and strangeness had lasted for ages,
In this world, no doubt, I must be the saddest
I can't set myself free when I'm jailed in a hundred cages
The sun will rise, again, after every night and in every day,
But not a single golden thread will ever reach me
I'm locked in a room with walls that are black and gray,
With no sounds to hear, and no colors to see
I stopped here, and saw others reaching the end of my way,
And because of all that, my fate became my enemy
I remember that I cried, but every tear went dry,
and that I tried, but every trial died before it was born
Every time I blame life, and start an endless cry
I remember that every tree, where ever planted, used to be a corn
Still, and with every Encouraging word that was spoken, I will never try
But I'll Survive, only with a spirit that is low, and a heart that is torn

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I hope you enjoyed it!

Pendragon
05-02-2007, 06:05 PM
Hey, I can sing this with a rather good rhythm! My I suggest the title "I Will Survive".? http://i94.photobucket.com/albums/l108/AbsalomKane/GuitarMan.gif

shadowy girl
05-02-2007, 08:24 PM
Thank you, really, I think it's a good title...

Debrasue
05-02-2007, 08:53 PM
shadowy girl,

That was beautiful! Don't worry...your English will get better over time & experience.....keep it up!

Debrasue

shadowy girl
05-02-2007, 08:58 PM
thank you!

aashishameya
05-04-2007, 02:15 AM
humm good one, hope you will find strength in poetry...

shadowy girl
05-04-2007, 08:46 PM
thank you aashishameya .

the silent x
05-08-2007, 10:06 PM
it's a great piece of art (NB: art and literature are different, yours has progressed from poetry to art) keep it up, like everyone said, just keep up the work on english and you will get it, i quit after trying for 2 years to learn spanish

shadowy girl
05-09-2007, 08:40 PM
it's a great piece of art (NB: art and literature are different, yours has progressed from poetry to art) keep it up, like everyone said, just keep up the work on english and you will get it, i quit after trying for 2 years to learn spanish

:p Thanks, I've been learning English at school... But I don't think I'll give it up at all, I loce it more than my pwn language... Well, almost!