major malfunction

[verybaddmom]

okay, so i was reading in another thread where emily(bunchofnumbers) made this comment:


Well, I won't be the pot calling the psyche black. We all have our dysfunctions. Who's to say which is sicker?

and that got me to wondering....

what is everyone's major malfunction? dysfunction? what makes us less normal than most?
maybe a little OCD? a tiny itty bitty phobia?
I have always told my son that "normal is a setting on our washing machine"
i'm not sure the origin of that statement (do i baddad?) but i know that i have never known anything to be more true.

anyhow, i think we could start with the least 'scary' of our weirdnesses and work up to the good stuff.....

i'll start. i have a little OCD when it comes to oral hygeine. As i have pretty big teeth, and i tend to smile alot, i have to take good care of them. i have four different types of toothbrushes and three toothpastes, and i have specific rituals in which they are used, all at different times of the day. a little strange, but i have really white teeth!

okay, who's next?

[imthefoolonthehill]

Borderline Schizo and paranoia

[den]

I'm a workaholic and tend to some obsessive compulsive stuff too, like being a neat-freak, but it doesn't really interfere with my day to day life, being a workaholic does ! :D :p

Oh yeah, and Ialmost always have my phone's ringer turned off, I don't know why but I just can't stand it ringing and interrupting me while I'm doing things, like say, work! :eek: I can't multi-task, like chat with more than two people at once, it's like I focus too much so can only do one thing at a time but really intensely.

[Blade]

i'm just lazy;)

[Shea]

I love wearing old fashioned dresses. You know the kind with the hoop skirts and such? (Actually anything from a hundred years and back) When I lived with my parents in Ohio, their house was built in 1900. Sometimes, especially if I was pulling an all-nighter for a test or something, late at night I would wear them, make my self a cup of tea (I had the top floor of the house to myself) and just ease into my studying that way. Somehow, it made it easier to study, because I wasn't exactly myself anymore.

Now that I'm married, I'm too nervous just to wear them around the house for fear that someone would stop by. The only chance I get to wear them now, other than Halloween, is for a special harp performance.

[Blade]

i wish i knew how to play the harp

[IWilKikU]

I'm a pathological liar. When I was young, before I learned to control it, I used to make up the most bizzare stories, and if my friends didn't believe them, I would be so hurt. I still have urges to tell people completely fabricated stories, but I can keep from actually letting them out of my brain. Sometimes I'm afraid that someday I won't be able to differentiate between what's real and what's some BS story that I've made up. I met another pathological liar who couldn't control it once, and he was the last person on earth that I want to end up like.

[emily655321]

"emily(bunch of numbers)" :D 655321 is Alex's prison ID in Clockwork.

Anyway, as for dysfunctions, here goes (you're gonna regret having asked)... the whole she-bang:

"Major depressive disorder." Depression and mild antisocial traits run in the family. I'm smiley and friendly because the emotional and cognitive parts of my brain dissociated years ago as a defense mechanism. The only thing that gets to that part of my brain is fear (hence my pension for surrealism/horror/tragedy).

Codependent/people pleaser. I have mild PTSD and confrontation/anger/even just assertive people give me tremendous anxiety. I try to keep everyone happy and defuse stressful situations, then calm myself down by hurting myself. I can't take compliments and I can't make decisions.

I'm an ego-feeder (even though the shrink once said I'm the only person he's met who actually seems to lack an ego altogether). The type of person who looks in mirrors and asks for reassurance a lot. And then (viscious cycle) I constantly fear that people think I'm snobby, so I feel bad, seek reassurance, feel snobby....

OCD when it comes to food. Usually I eat only two kinds of food for a period of time, sometimes bingeing on junk at night. Every few weeks I'll starve completely. I hate eating in front of people. No restaurants for me. :p

Bah, that's all of it I think. Anything else is probably an offshoot of one of those.

[atiguhya padma]

I have OCD regarding replying to threads on Obsessive Compulsive Disorder. Just can't help it.

The other OCD I have is tidying up my books and arranging them in strange little orders only known to me.

[Shea]

Originally posted by emily655321
[B And then (viscious cycle) I constantly fear that people think I'm snobby, so I feel bad, seek reassurance, feel snobby....
[/B]

You know, I feel like that a lot...

Blade, if you can play a piano, I can almost garantee you can play a harp. (It also helps if you can play a guitar)
But did you just want to wear costumes?

AP, I also organize my books, anthologies -> education -> classics (all in alphabetical order by author then title or something to that effect, I understand it but can't really explain):)

[emily655321]

Just a bit off-topic, but... my dad has a maddening, non-alphabetical system that is impossible to fully explain, but it makes some bizarre kind of intuitive sense. One wall fiction, three walls non-fiction. The fiction is mostly anthologies and collections, but otherwise they're grouped author next to author by what I suppose is some vague association of writing style (Steinbeck, Hemingway, Maugham; Shakespeare, Dante, anthologies of poetry and of essays on Modern Art; Stevenson, Dickens). The non-fiction is even less explicable -- German/English dictionaries with the other German-themed books; other foreign lang. dictionaries with the other language reference books; all other reference books on the opposite wall with anthologies of art, photographs, and regional histories (hist. of Western Mass, Ireland, etc.); all other history books (-"of Philosophy," -of literature, -of time periods) on the former wall. Also with the references is a large collection of antique Bibles, which is odd because he's an atheist from a long line of atheists.

[amuse]

well i'm no longer bulimic but that counted for nearly two decades. so throw in whatever crap with that you wanna. :D

and from once when i saw this beautiful girl's hair on the bus in junior high, i've been obsessed about split ends. she was gorgeous, but her hair was so split the roots of her shiny black hair were a dirty yellow. i can't STAND my own. spend at least 15 minutes daily checking for them. :(

also love to clean and am a bit of a freak re: manners and fairness. :p

[amuse]

love the bit about hoop dresses, Shea. dress-up is the best :)!

[Lara]

IwilKiku, why don't you try your hand at writing and write out some of those bizarre stories. People love bizarre stories. Will you tell us one? Some authors I can think of who write bizarre stuff are Carl Hiasen, Ian Banks, hey, anyone ever read Big Trouble by Dave Barry? It was also made into a movie. Weird but fun story.

I can't think of anything I'm obsessive about, um, maybe when I first started playing the Tomb Raider games on playstation, my family seemed to disappear, and reality, temporarily anyway. In my fantasy world, I'm just like Lara Croft, :D hence, my online identity, only, I can't help but just be myself.

[Shea]

I'm obsessed with pushing in those bubbles that tell you which drink your getting on the tops for soda cups that you get at fast food restaurants. No matter how many people I'm dining with, I want to push in all their bubbles. It's so hard to restrain myself.:p

[verybaddmom]

dave barry? isnt he that guy that writes that hysterically funny column for the Miami Herald? maybe a different guy?

[Lara]

I thought of something, I'm obsessive about checking my emails, checking the forums, especially if I've started a thread, and checking for private messages, because I love the chat. When I am expecting a reply to an email or PM I am constantly checking for it.

[Lara]

I'm not sure VBM, seeing as I don't get the Miami Herald way up here in Canada, eh, but the story sure tickled my funny bone.

[verybaddmom]

oh dear, well as i am also way up here in Canada (BC to be exact) i get it off the internet...well worth the trouble of finding it, which i have now saved you from....
here is a link to someone who loves dave barry as much as i do....it's an angelfire site, so the popups are really bad, but i have to say: just read the "batman to the rescue" one, and tell me you dont have tears of laughter pouring down your face?!

http://www.angelfire.com/fl2/email1/Barry.html

also this is the herald site, where Barry's editorials are published. and from there you will find links to his official home page and so on...
http://www.miami.com/mld/miamiherald/living/columnists/dave_barry/

enjoy! and let me know what you think!

[imthefoolonthehill]

IWilKiku. I once made up a story about me jumping off the roof of a two story building to win a Capture the Flag game... at least I think I made it up... now at least 4 people remember seeing me do it... and I remember doing it... the only problem is... I also remember making the story up.... the implications of this terrifies me.

[emily655321]

That story-making stuff is amazing. The memory is far more fallible than not, it seems. A friend of the family once told us a really interesting story while my parents and I were visiting -- only, it had actually happened to my dad! How awkward.

Dave Barry is published in the Boston Globe too, by the way. He is hilarious.

[simon]

I read the Batman article and had to laugh at the image of a guy dressed in car floor mats, haha!

[IWilKikU]

The thing about my lies is that they're not worth telling. Like once when I was about ten I was at a friends house. We were in his back yard jumping on a trampolin. This car pulled up in front of his house, sat there for about thirty seconds, and drove off. When I got home I had this incontrolable urge to everyone a slightly different version of this where the guy in the car used cliche' kidnapping techniques that D.A.R.E. officers warn you about like "hey kid, come here. I've got somthing I want to show you." and My parents got all upset and called the police. I had absolutly no reason to make that up. It wasn't significant in any way. That's only one example that I can specifically remember out of a life time of little lies. But none of them are actually good stories that I could write and sell. :mad:

[Koa]

Originally posted by amuse


and from once when i saw this beautiful girl's hair on the bus in junior high, i've been obsessed about split ends. she was gorgeous, but her hair was so split the roots of her shiny black hair were a dirty yellow. i can't STAND my own. spend at least 15 minutes daily checking for them. :(

[/B]

:(:(:( that happens to me too... i detest hairdressers so much that last time I let my mum cut my hair a bit before split ends took over... I'm still rather black up on my head, and getting too clear on the ends... :(

As for the topic...well I can't think of any obsession of this kind I have...my father has so many that some have been passed to me, but mostly cos I like to avoid being shouted at for days if i forget to do something...(like, I found myself checking 3 times if I closed the car, just like he does!)... I've never been obsessed about tidiness but I found myself annoyed when my English guy used to leave things everywhere, just because I've been shouted at for 20 years when I did so... But I can't think of any obessions of that sort I have which are not originated by my paranoid parents... Oh well excpet when I put cds or things like that in obsessive chronological order... :D

[fayefaye]

oh. man. I have so many. I'm gonna totally out disfunction all of you. I'm selectively anti-social, to the point of being an outright rude snob. It's something I hate about me, but really can't help. I can't talk to people I don't want to;like I can't hold a conversation for the sake of holding a conversation, openly sniggering at people who ask if I saw american idol. I can't be nice for the sake of being nice. I ate hot chocolate with marshmallows for the first time in my life one week ago. as of two days ago, I am now officially creeped out by trains. I seem to always wind up sitting next to/near a REALLL creep. *shudder* this sucks, because I used to really like trains

[IWilKikU]

Feye, I like to think of actually watching American Idol as a malfunction.

[fayefaye]

LOL. True!! Least I don't have that one. :D

[verybaddmom]

but...but....but...
is all reality tv watching a malfunction??

[IWilKikU]

uh... Osbournes is acceptable, but only if you acknowlege that its mostly staged. Do you like ALL reality tv? Cause I think it blows.

[verybaddmom]

no, not at all. although, i got a good giggle out of "the simple life" and i did really love that show "house rules". but mostly for reality tv i watch "American Chopper" like a religion....

i am in the process of drafting a scathing letter to FOX network for their participation and promotion of the most disgusting show society (women in particular) have ever had the unfortunate opportunity to be subjected to:
"The Swan".
i dont know how many people have had a chance to hear about it, but it is absolutely sick. They take a group of about a dozen women, all 'ugly ducklings' and by way of surgery a la "Extreme makeover" they remake them into beautifully sculptured chunks of plastic...but they dont stop there....then they go on to hold a competition, beauty paegent style, for these women, where they are subjected to elimination for still not being beautiful enough.
I have not actually seen the program, but have only seen ads for it (my son is virtually always absorbed by the simpsons on fox), and that is bad enough.
yuck....

[IWilKikU]

Oh man, your giving Simpsons a yuck, but you want to be on "the swan"?!?!? Come on! Although I do approve (although I don't watch) of American Chopper. But the simple life, unghh :vomiting emoticon:. Paris Hilton needs to stay in porn and out of any other form of entertainment.

[verybaddmom]

no.no.no kik. you misunderstand me.....we watch the simpsons...alot.
i do NOT want to be on the swan!! in fact, i would be utterly pleased if the producers of the swan all developed carpal tunnel (or worse) and had to scrap the show..
now, american chopper is on now....must go!

[IWilKikU]

Ok, your forgiven :). Watch those beautiful bikes go!

[fayefaye]

I cried in Finding Nemo. Where's my dysfunctional award???

[emily655321]

Oh God, I almost died during that whale mouth scene. Giganto whale, dark enclosed space, water, cavernous throat....eeeee... heart attack material. The fish were just a few hundred times too anthropomorphized for me to get into, though. But that's Disney. And the seagulls kicked ***.

[Sancho]

I didn't actually cry, but I may have misted up when Bubba bought it in "Forest Gump."

[simon]

What's with this crying during sappy movies, it's disney!

[emily655321]

Well of course, everyone cried like babies during Forrest Gump, didn't they? Well...I was 9, so at least I did...but that's beside the point.

I don't know, simon, sappy movies usually make me laugh spitefully. Except Disney -- Disney makes me vomit like Linda Blair.

[CBW]

I truly have found a forum that I can identify with. Compairing dysfunctions!?!? This is my type of group.

I have OCD when it comes to my books and schoolwork (I love homework. Is that a dysfunction all on it's own?) , but extremely lazy with housework. I actually hate cleaning with a passion. I think I have some form of ADD with housework. It seems that I can clean all day, and nothing looks done. But the closets are organized, until I notice that the sock drawer has a sock sticking out, then I move to that, till I notice something else.

I also fear big cities, especially being in lots of traffic. I grew up in a very small town, with very little traffic. I will hyperventilate if I have to ride in a car that is driving through a major city like New Orleans or Houston. If I have to drive it, I feel like I am having a heart attack. Medication is helping though. It better because I'm about to move to Houston in the next few months.

I suffer from severe depression. I was also very obese, until I lost 70 pounds (30 to go). I do suffer severe self esteem issues. I still see myself as the person I was before I started losing weight. I can not see that I have lost any weight. I just see the areas that are still too large.

Last, but not least, I have dependency issues. I fear abandonment and being alone. So I really have no friends. Only my husband. I figure that if I don't have any friends, than they can't abandon me. I guess this stems from ALL of my friends abandoning me in high school when I found out I was pregnant. I have had very few friends since, and no one I actually keep in touch with.

Now, how's that for an introduction? ;)

[emily655321]

Welcome, CBW. Hehe, we're all mad here. :p

Congratulations on your dieting successes, and I'm sure on many to come. I also have depression/low self-esteem -- but it's amazing how much this forum helps with the latter. Having somewhere where you are appreciated for the real person you are inside is an extremely valuable and uncommon thing. I hope you stay for a long time -- I intend to. (hope that's not a disappointing thing for anyone to hear :D)

Em*~

[amuse]

*wide-armed welcome

what em, you're moving in? what about that treehouse you were building in the bay?

[emily655321]

Treehouses have net hookups don't they? Anyway, I'm sure my rat minions can do something useful with tin cans and string. :D

[verybaddmom]

i just love you all....i love that we are all nuts together

CBW, on this forum one can choose to have serious discussions or not and some of the most caring, intelligent, helpful people on the internet hang out here. welcome, most warmly.

[emily655321]

Oh, we're in danger of starting another Love Fest! *group hug* Nah...on second thought, don't touch me. *touches index fingers a la Matt Groening's fez people*

[verybaddmom]

LMAO...
you go Em, be true to yourself!

[simon]

My dysfunction is being hyper sensitive to touch, poke me and I may not jump physically, but my heart will be racing, and I also have trouble expressing emotions which tends to get other people hurt.

So as practice I am going to say, By the way it's been nice to meet all of your on this forum, I am thouroughly enjoying it.

[verybaddmom]

yay...simon, a breakthrough.

its been nice meeting you too.

[emily655321]

Hehe thanks VB.

And most equally enjoyable company you are, simon! :D (If you move down here and feel inclined to join my church choir, btw, be advised to take my lead and come late all the time -- they make everyone give each other a shoulder-massage as part of the warm-up. *shudder*)

[IWilKikU]

If you ladies are done kissing I'm ready to talk about the movies I cried in :D.

There are only 2: The Family Man because the beginning COMPLETELY mirrored my relationship with my girlfriend. I drove her to the airport and put her on a plane to England for 6 months without me, and saw it like a week later. That was depressing.

Bowling for Columbine. The first time I watched that I was half drunk/half high fully sleep deprived and all kinds of Emo.

[amuse]

um, not to digress already ;) but kik, you have to be the only guy i've ever heard who doesn't want girls to kiss. :D
yuch, never mind.

is that why you moved to England, your honey was there?

[IWilKikU]

Actually I was quoting Kung Pow. If you guys actually did want to kiss for real, I wouldn't complain. ;)

[amuse]

hehe, i need space like you wouldn't believe. the only person who ever gets close enough to kiss had better look and smell like my boyfriend. except!! for cats of course. :D

oh yeah! this is a malfunction thread. so, (i forgot) do any of you read way too many books at once, like five plus in rounds of no particular order - is that vaguely normal for anyone else here?

[IWilKikU]

Originally posted by amuse

is that why you moved to England, your honey was there?

Sorry, I didn't even see this half of the question.

Actually, we came here together originally, then we both came back home, but then she came back when I couldn't afford it. So we were apart for 6 months. That was hard times.

And I sometimes read a bunch of books at once, other times I just stick to one. Depends on how stressed I am with other things.

[simon]

Hey, I nearly cried during Bowling for Columbine, it's the closest I have ever come to crying during a movie.

[emily655321]

Az, I start books one after the other, and then never finish any of them. Such as... oh, Bros. K and Hunchback? We'll see.

I blubbered like an infant at "Lost in Translation." "Columbine," I think my jaw was hanging open from about 10 minutes in till, oh... five days later.

[CBW]

Originally posted by amuse

oh yeah! this is a malfunction thread. so, (i forgot) do any of you read way too many books at once, like five plus in rounds of no particular order - is that vaguely normal for anyone else here?

I don't read more than one at a time, but I have to have a book with me at all times. If I even think I'm going to have extra time, I have to have my book with me. If I am just sitting somewhere and do not have a book to read I will literally start reading anything (shampoo bottles, backs of cereal boxes, writing on desks, etc..). People say it's my addiction. I do not drink or smoke but I do books. Without my "fix" I will get the shakes. It is really bad. I do not know anyone else like that. I really got a lot of funny looks when I brought books to read to the gym. I would read on the treadmill and the stationary bike.
And since I am not a library person, this is a VERY expensive addiction. Sometimes I will buy 3 a week.

[Koa]

Originally posted by IWilKikU
[B]Sorry, I didn't even see this half of the question.

Actually, we came here together originally, then we both came back home, but then she came back when I couldn't afford it. So we were apart for 6 months. That was hard times.



I know I'll hate myself for picking on this, but when i read this sort of things my mind keeps reminding me that the only relationship I had was one where I saw him averagely every 4 months, for like 1 or 2 weeks... Little more than 2 months in total, spread over almost 2 years. (and he never drove me to the airport, well never drove me anywhere cos he doesnt drive... he just let me get the train to the airport, alone) And? Nothing, I just like to look for pity, damn me. Sorry Kik, I know how it feels so should be sympathetic, shouldnt I, instead of always complaining.

Back on topic, I once tried to read 3 books at the time but then I didnt... I dont even start readong things for my enjoyment when I should study, not to get distracted...But then I get distracted in other ways anyway :D Right now I'm actually reading 2 books... But it doesnt feel like that cos they're related to study.... I'm reading a biography of Anna Achmatova, and that feels like studying cos I can't help considering 'study book's everything that's not a novel, and Barry Lindon, that's for a course too actually, but being a novel it doesnt feel like that :D

I have a big malfunction: my sense of duty. I can't persaude myself to do things lightheartedly, I get paranoid if I skip a lesson or leave earlier, even when it's not important anyway... I can't leave things half-done, unless theyre things I chose, but if I got a task, I have to get to the end even if I hate it... When people who just are able not to care live better than I do :D

[IWilKikU]

*gives Koa sympathy* :( . Don't worry Koa, were together ALLLLL the time now :D, so it makes up for it.

[IWilKikU]

I just realized another major malfunction that I have. I just developed a cumpulsive habbit of playing Freecell. I've started playing all the games systematically. I just finished game #46. Wow.

[verybaddmom]

good for you kik, on your miraculous undertaking of what i feel is a huge pain in the butt game...
now the Sims? there is a game i have to lock in a safety deposit box while school is in session. i once spent 32 hours in a row (literally not leaving the computer) trying to advance my "guy" to the next job promotion, and then one more friend, more friend? so another promotion, and so on....you get the idea. it was brutal, my friends were going to organize an intervention.....

ooohhhhh, wait..school's out. i have to go, where is that safety deposit box key??

[emily655321]

I had to literally delete Tetris from our computer, like my own private little intervention/detox treatment. Then it was Lines, which I'm still not quite over. I see this forum gradually taking its place...eep! Don't worry, I won't go cold turkey on you guys, even if I get get to itching. Besides, my college (love saying that -- "my college") is infamous for the dump-truck loads of reading they heap on you, so I won't even have time to be as addicted as I already am.

[dhm]

If I am just sitting somewhere and do not have a book to read I will literally start reading anything (shampoo bottles, backs of cereal boxes, writing on desks, etc..). lol I do that as well; it's very weird.

Ppl have been very open on this thread. I don't really have any major dysfunctions. I did get a little addicted to forums when I first started but have curbed it back now and I'm pretty neat although not obsessively so.

[Koa]

Originally posted by IWilKikU
*gives Koa sympathy* :( . Don't worry Koa, were together ALLLLL the time now :D, so it makes up for it.

great :)... that doesnt help ME, but i should get used to that... i just can't have a normal life. :(

[Koa]

Originally posted by dhm
lol I do that as well; it's very weird.

Ppl have been very open on this thread. I don't really have any major dysfunctions. I did get a little addicted to forums when I first started but have curbed it back now and I'm pretty neat although not obsessively so.

I am sooo addicted I sometimes want to see a doctor...

Oh I also read everything I find, especially bottles and ingredients on packets...ingredients in all languages :D

[emily655321]

LOL me too Koa. I read the English directions on shampoo or something and then read the ones in French and Spanish. Sometimes there are others, depending on where they were made. I know how to say "CAUTION" in like 5 languages...unfortunately they're all pretty much the same. :p

[CBW]

I got obsessed with EverQuest. It was really bad. First, it was just my husband. He would play it and talk to his friend on the phone, who was also playing. Then I started watching. Then he set up my own account. It was so addiciting. We could sit there and play it the entire weekend, with little to no sleep. Someweeks, my husband would take an entire weeks vacation just so we could keep playing. This was throughout the entire summer. Then when school started, I shut it off. He didn't. Over the winter break I played a little more. And over the next semester I played, because my semester was very light (due to being pregnant, I didn't take many classes, non that were strenuous). Once the baby was born I could no longer afford the time to play the game so I stopped. He continued for a few months and then got bored with it. He is now looking forward to World of Warcraft to come out.
I have no games that I play continuously as of the moment. Just forums. ;)

[IWilKikU]

I know people that had to drop out of college because of thier EQ addictions.

[verybaddmom]

uhoh...what is this EQ game? i have never heard of it....
maybe, dont tell me, for my own good...
no. tell me

[IWilKikU]

Well badmom, everyone simply MUST know EQ, so:

EverQuest was the first MMO-RPG (massively multiplayer online role playing game). It was the first game to exist solely on a multiplayer basis. The world was HUGE and allowed for years worth of time to explore, conquer, ect... Everyone in EQ exists in realtime and everyone is interactable. Its like a real world inside the computer. The economy in EQ is in the top 50 economies in the world. It beats most REAL countries. There are people who make careers out of selling thier EQ items on ebay. All in all, its rediculously big, addictivtive, fun, realistic, ect... It spawned a plethora of imitaters and made MMOs into a genre rather than a single phenomanon. There are now like 6 continents to explore, over 1,000,000 living characters playing that you can interact with, its just unreal. Dont go near it or it will suck you in.

[amuse]

that sounds awful; what about the real world? do they have books there to water, or plants to read, or hair to chat with, friends to brush, or anything normal like out here???? how scary.

[verybaddmom]

LOL
i had to read that a couple of times to actually get it...hehe. very clever!

you know, i was thinking about what you said, though, and i realized that i havent owned a hairbrush in six years..not even a comb. in fact, one time, when i was cutting my son's hair i actually had to try and create one using a plastic fork. i dont know what this is all about, but good thing im already in the malfunction thread....

[amuse]

aren't you lucky vbm! some of us can't do without the things - look like we just woke up without 'em. :eek: ;)

[amuse]

"Oh Aunty Eeeem," called Dorothy, roflhao. ;) :D :D

all right so the lysol ruined my bran cells and my brain. tee hee hee hee. malfuncshun!!!

[amuse]

*let me know if i offend you em, i will stop statim.

[verybaddmom]

ps. did you ever see my hair??
lol

[amuse]

it's so pretty!!! :) ahhhhhh...

[emily655321]

Originally posted by amuse
*let me know if i offend you em, i will stop statim.

LOL no offense taken. It's impossible to offend me, I swear to god.

Okay I know I overanalyze, and this really doesn't matter, but I'm gonna type it anyway because.... anyway: I just took pause looking at that "swear to god," realizing what a bizarre expression it is for me to use (as I happen to do so constantly). Maybe it's just a regional one... or I just don't notice, seeing as it's usually tacked on the end at lightning speed. (If you've been up to the extreme northeast, you know how people talk -- especially young people: -- bunchofwords...pause...anotherbunchofwords...pause ..."S'trueIsweart'god.") Anyway, I just realized the point to posting this: There have been a lot of times here where I've stopped and looked at a phrase in a different way because I've never seen it written out before, or never wrote it out myself. This forum is an interesting opportunity to put into type what is ordinarily relegated to verbal conversation. Have any of you had similar experiences here? Has it caused you to stop using a specific phrase, or to think about something you hear or say in a different light? Or are there other ways your experiences here have affected your "real" life?

[edit:] P.S. VBM, how do you survive without a brush? Granted, not everyone's hair is as long as mine, but even an hour or two after I brush it it's all coiled around itself in strands again. Although I do have a friend whose hair, when it was only like shoulder-length, he could just put his head down, toss it back, run his fingers through it, and it looked gorgeous again. Grr....so, do you have very short hair or did you make some type of deal with the devil? :D

[Sancho]

Two guys on a bus in the North East:

I could-int buleve it, I musta had fwahty Beeahs, I sweartogod fwahty Beeahs. I had horns out to heeah. The cops, they pulled me ohvah. I booted right theyah in the cop cruisah. I could-int buleve it, Fwahty Beeahs!

Of course we our own colloquial crosses to bear down south.

[emily655321]

*Dies laughing* *is resurrected* *promptly dies again* whoop...thanks there, God.

LMAO more like two guys on the Green Line in Southy. Fortunately, I don't bear that particular cross, and most people under 35 here don't, but I've heard some pretty lousy "Hahvahd Yahd"-type impressions, and Sancho that was stellar. Spot on. *lying on carpet beating the floor* Oh God, that's great. :D :D :D

*Reads it a few hundred more times*

[IWilKikU]

I heard a stand up comic once say that all the 'R's get sucked out of New England and swirl around in the atmosphere, and rain down in the south where people put thier clothes in the warshing machine.

[amuse]

lol
i lvoe this thread.

[simon]

The malfunction that we all have in common is that we cannot keep on topic in a forum.

[emily655321]

This is true. But by a certain point how much more is there really to say, and then it's just great to see how many crazy places it can go. Have you read the Animal Farm thread recently? Oh boy, way more fun than Animal Farm. :D I have a very naughty tendency to read along with those serious boards and then jump in when they start to go a little... awry... just to give them another push before they die. :D :D (Don't worry, though; I've thoroughly researched what fragments of history there are to be found on the late Abdo here, and I'm not turning into one of those. I like silliness, not discord and anarchy. Well, maybe a little anarchy. :D)

[Koa]

I had never heard of that EQ game, but who needs that when you have forums? *sighs* I costantly live in a parallel reality, sometimes I'm afraid to be schizophrenic... The thought that comforts me is that at least all of you are real people out there... at least I hope so :D

[emily655321]

*glances up ominously through the shadow of her hair* heheheheheheh.... but then, what is reality? ....really? ;)

[IWilKikU]

For all you know Koa, Every user on this board is a manifestation of Abdo, and he's just playing with your head. He could be Admin, and everyother user. He throws in a new one every now and again, just to keep things realistic. hmmm...

[simon]

So I might not actually exist then!

[emily655321]

No you might, yes you don't. :D Isn't it fun talking to myself, Abdo #407?

Yes, I must surely concur, it is. *Oops! forgot to re-login and start a new post*

:D :D Pay no attention to the Abdo behind the curtain. :D

[simon]

Your devotion to conversing with yourself is most admirable, little do you know that the conversations recumbent here are the basis for research on individuals with problems such as yours. Feel good about adding to the reseach for phsycos.

[emily655321]

Sarcasm, yes? *nods hopefully* Not really Abdo, oh no, not really. Dear god hope not. *prepares various objects for schizoid exorcism* *tries to look fearfully at her own head*

[psycojones]

:D my disfunction; work. i can't seem to stop working!!! i find challenges in my work everyday. if it is not the work place, then i work on the ranch. love working with rocks. that must be a disfunction.

hello everyone. its been a while.

[Koa]

Originally posted by IWilKikU
For all you know Koa, Every user on this board is a manifestation of Abdo, and he's just playing with your head. He could be Admin, and everyother user. He throws in a new one every now and again, just to keep things realistic. hmmm...

:eek: :eek: :eek: do you know you can scare me to death with those things? i think my brain can get ill very easily...

[emily655321]

:D Making brains ill is another of Kik's malfunctions. :D Just kidding, Kik. As so is apparently my habit of stretching a sarcastic remark into the realm of the believable. Oh dear. :eek:

[IWilKikU]

Welcome back Psyco! :D. What do you do?...for work that is... :D

Koa, All I have to say is DON'T MESS WITH AMERICAN PRIDE!!!
:eek: :eek: :p

Em, I'm flattered, but I consider it one of my functions rather than disfunctions. :p. Besides, making brains ill sure beats making stomachs ill :D :D

[random_hero]

I dont know if Im screaming out of sheer terror or joy... Anyways, I have ADD supposedly, or I did as of 1999. It may be gone, but I am a C student thanx to a complete lack of homework completion. All of my teachrs tell me Im the smartest kid in the class, I dont know whether or not that is to motivate me or the truth. And there is another disorder...
I trust no one. The most beautiful girl at our high school asked me to go to senior prom with her, and I still think she had some reason other than wanting to go with me. And I really cant believe that girls like me. I have lots of issues with girls. Oh jeebus... I am waiting for the whole intercourse thing until I get married, maybe that is a part of the distrust thing, but I originally did it for spiritual reasons. I feel really superior at times, and at the the drop of a hat I feel like there is no one who could possibly like a person like me. I am very... outgoing, and at times loud, possibly annoying. That may help me at some point, but the cool people in high school dont stand out, the blend in and follow, making sure they do nothing to draw attention to themselves. Wow, I feel better now. Sorry for whatever I wrote above.
And kik, How do we know you arent making all of this up right now?

[emily655321]

*gasp* "Jeebus?" *giggles furiously and heads for the Simpsons thread* :D :D

[random_hero]

great posting style. I give it a 10.

[IWilKikU]

Hero, take it from me, a former waiting-til-I-get-married-for-spiritual-reasons-guy, once you abandon that you will realize how silly it is. But maybe thats another thread.


And kik, How do we know you arent making all of this up right now?

Well, that's kinda the point I was making earlier. There is no way to know.... ANYTHING *dramatic gasp music*.

Love your avatar btw. Did I say that in a different thread? :confused:

[emily655321]

While the site was down this evening, I spent some time exercising a bit of deductive reasoning. I would say that unleashing one's overdeveloped love of anarchy on one's friends is quite a major malfunction, indeed. *look of inquisitive consternation in RH's general direction*

[Koa]

Originally posted by IWilKikU


Koa, All I have to say is DON'T MESS WITH AMERICAN PRIDE!!!
:eek: :eek: :p



:confused: I'd do it even at the risk of be executed ;) :D, but...what does it have to do with anything aorund here??? :confused:

[amuse]

i have no american pride left. :( except of course for the landscape! :)

[emily655321]

I'm proud of grey squirrels. Cause my kitten looks like one. And maple trees, you gotta be proud of those. But mosquitoes can go to hell in a bucket... better yet, they can all drown in Cheney's massive oil drums and ruin the national supply. (Did you know two days ago on C-SPAN I saw a bill being lobbied in the Senate for the large-scale development of ethanol as an alternative to gas and deisel. It's already used as an additive to gasoline, and with minor factory modifications to the engine there are some people who already have cars that run on 70% ethanol, 30% gas. It only costs like 20 or 30¢ to the gallon. How cool is that? I might be proud of the States again if we made that the standard.)

[random_hero]

yeah, the whole waiting thing will be desroyed in college Im betting. I just thought it was better than risking being a high school dad. And my avatar is cool I guess. I will change it weekly, or not. Well see.

[emily655321]

I've just recently realized that I tend to be somewhat passive-aggressive in my posts, albeit entirely unconsciously. Like there's a leak in the barrier between my id and ego, and the former keeps squeezing through in little pieces. Gotta watch out for that.

[IWilKikU]

"DONT MESS WITH AMERICAN PRIDE" Was Abdo's sig when he was finally banned. When he reincarnated himself as StarBlue, that was the quote that he revealed his... Abdoness with. It was just somthing that he said that I always remembered. I'm not really a red white and blue wearing, USA bumpersticker on the back of muh truck having, yee-haw who loves America's forign policy of "We are the biggest! Look at our big big guns!" Sorry if I gave that impression. In fact, when Americans come into the pub I work at, I often speak with a British accent :D :D.

That being said, I am proud of the American people's protests against Bush's war, the biggest protests in the history of the USA. I'm proud of the citizens of Seattle raging against the WTO, even if they did do it violently :(. I'm proud of the 9/11 victims families that are mature enough to denounce the war for "vengence" and see it objectively as the war for Bush to get rich. I'm proud of our beautiful country, the mountains, the deserts, the marshlands, the forests, its really beautiful. I'm proud of the beautiful skylines of American cities like New York, DC, Atlanta, Seatle, Vegas, ect... I'm proud of American football, which I still claim is the most physically brutal AND the most intellectual sport in the world. I'm proud of American film, even though 80% of American films are pop-culture hollywood crap, there are some gems, and those gems make me proud. I'm proud of American liberal political activists like Michael Moore, Al Franken, Noam Chomsky and others who make the rest of the world aware that the American public is NOT brainwashed by the government. I'm proud the fact that Americans can vote and that there vote matters (unless you live in Florida, but that's another story ;) ). I'm pround that the other Americans on this forum are intellegent and wise, hopefully that will can show the international community on this board that "American pride" can exist, but its not somthing to push down people's throats.

Silly Abdo. :)

[IWilKikU]

Oh and Hero, there's a time and a place for everything... and that time and place is college ;). Good luck my young friend, just be safe :D:D:D

[random_hero]

Amen to that. I would like to say that although I dont hate America, I would never buy anything with our flag on it. Its rediculous. I pay taxes, isnt that enough? Oh, and is that why I immediately hated starthingy? Its abdo?

:eek:

[emily655321]

:D :D :D

"It's very simple, children. The right time to start having sex is... seventeen."

"You mean seventeen, as long as you're in love."

"Nope, just seventeen."

"But, what if you're not ready at seventeen?"

"Seventeen. You're ready."

[IWilKikU]

Yup.
missed it by one year. Wish I had started watching/worshiping South Park a year sooner. :D

[random_hero]

I really havent seen enough South Park. No one can. I think Mr. Slave was the greatest character ever.

[emily655321]

Don't you watch commercials? Towelie is the greatest character ever. :D :D

[IWilKikU]

Sorry guys, your both wrong. Butters is the absolute greatest character EVER. Especially when he unleashes his alter ego, Profesor Chaos!!! "Kneal before Profesor Chaos!"

[emily655321]

I must concede.

[IWilKikU]

You better! Or Profesor Chaos will flood the earth!

[emily655321]

He can't, though. The Simpsons already took all the good ideas. :D

[random_hero]

Yes, its true!!! Butters, P-P-P-Professor Chaos, you are god, and notice god isnt capitalized, and, and, and LET ME HAVE YOUR CHILDREN!!! *breaks down crying and faints like those girls at Elvis concerts*

No seriously though, when Awesom-O has to put a suppository in butters anus, oh god I am gunnah need a bottle of 02 if that episode is on again.

[emily655321]

I just can't stop laughing at the name "Awesom-O." :D

[simon]

As one who was banned form tv for five years on the homefront I am at a loss at what to contribute. So I'll play it conservative and say that having experinced the simpsons for the first time at university I was stunned by the hilarity and if I had a tv where I am currently at I would watch till I dropped.

[emily655321]

Oh, you've got a lot of catching up to do, friend, to become a master quoter like me. :D The number one ear mark of a cult classic is when you can watch the same thing over and over again and laugh just as hard each time. The Simpsons is on in syndication here THREE DIFFERENT EPISODES every week day -- 6:30, 7:30, and 11:30, -- 7:30 on Saturday, and the new season at 8:00 on Sunday, sometimes with a rerun on afterwards! It's insane. Insane, and most appreciated. :D :D

[simon]

I have to wait to play catch up till sept when i return to my nonexistent house in canada. I will proabably end up livin gin a box on the street staying up late at night studying by the light of a flashlight and drinking water from a dripping drain pipe.

[Koa]

I remembered a few of my malfunctions but i forgot them now...:eek: (if you dont know what im talking about, have a look at the subject of the topic :D)

[verybaddmom]

has anyone here ever taken one of those ink blot or personality tests? not the one that tells you what career you should be, but the ones they use to diagnose mental illness and/or describe your personality type (characteristics).
for one of my psychology classes we took a bunch of these funky tests (supposed to have been for fun), and i discovered that apparently i am borderline nuts. fortunately i dont care, so it wasnt a terribly disturbing revelation, but i wonder if anyone else has taken one of these tests and had the results show something totally different from what they were expecting. (and i am well aware of the pronoun disagreement in that sentence and i dont care....i am such a rebel!!!)
anyhow, there were a few students in the class that were upset by their results and i found that kind of funny. i suppose it would have been different had we been in a psychiatrists office, i had blood on my hands, and there were uniformed police behind me, but i didnt take it very seriously.

[amuse]

what fun! we only learned about them, never took them.
though there was a number we learned (to see how many we could store in our short term, the usual max is 7 or 9) and it stuck with me for months afterward (219 526 748 i think oh god it's been almost a year, go away!!!)
oh no your poor classmates :eek:
i'd be scared to see what mine revealed...:D :p :D

[verybaddmom]

yes that memory device is called chunking right? where you break it into more meaninful groups, because you can actually remember 7 groups of things?

[simon]

Hey mom, I took this normalicy test on tickle.com and it told me I was 4 percent normal. I also took the ink blot test and it told me I was governed by imagination, I guess that's not too bad of a dictatorship.

[verybaddmom]

nice. tickle eh? i'll have to try that.
my inkblot test said that i was totally ruled by my sexuality.
and this one test said that from 5-10 was normal and over that was Schizophrenic...and my score was 18!!! yikes.

[emily655321]

I took that Tickle Normalcy test. It says I'm 3% normal, and "least like others in the area of imagination."

And I took their ink blot test, and it said I'm driven by imagination. "You have a deep desire to use innovative ideas to enhance your life and influence the world around you.... On an unconscious level, the reason you may be so driven by imagination is your fear of destruction, the opposite of creation."
.... But I already new that. :mad: :p :p

So, I guess that means I'm imaginitive or something? :p

[Sancho]

Anybody ever have to take the MMPF? Minnasota Multi Phasic.

[simon]

never heard of it, what is it?

[Koa]

Oh I'd love to take those tests!!! I love tests! And I want the scientific proof of my non-normality!!!

[emily655321]

The normalcy test on Tickle.com said it was based on the MMPF, or used questions from it, or something to do with it anyway.

Those ink blots are scary, though! It's weird, but two or three, when they flashed on screen, actually made me feel horrible, REALLY not wanting to look at them.

Oh, they had a link to a Poetry IQ test on there too. I didn't take it, but I think I'll go do that now. If I can pull myself away from the forum. Wish me luck. :D

*puts hand over eyes and feels around for the mouse*

[edit] The link to the poetry test brought me... guess where?... Poetry.com *ew* *bad* The top of the page was full of "winners" of some kind holding their checks or something. So I high tailed it out of there. I don't want any part of that place, even if it's just a quiz.

[ajoe]

LOL, baddmom, it cracks me up the way you wrote "emily(bunch of numbers)"!

[random_hero]

yeah, poetry.com pisses me off. But its cool because some people I know are winners of those contests.

[verybaddmom]

um, yeah we are all winners. there have been experiments where some of the crappiest poetry of all time has been submitted and won, including one that deftly suggested that poetry.com was a scam. i am personally one of the winners of the editor's choice award. yay. that goes on my resume...NOT

[ajoe]

Why is it still alive, though, if it's scam?

[verybaddmom]

i think it's sort of like those "contests" where you get a phone call and are "selected to recieve" something like dinner for two at a great resort, but over dinner, you are forced to listen to a high pressure sales pitch for the resort's time share......its a rip off, and they misrepresent themselves, but you do (usually) get what you pay for and they remain just within the bounds of the law. the problem with these guys (poetry.com) is that instead of feeding off of greed, like the majority of scammers out there, they feed of the fragile self esteem of the artist...whose only joy is to hear that someone appreciates their work. that is what i think is so disgusting.
interesting note, and i think it's been mentioned on this forum somewhere, but your poetry for submission to their site, must not contain the word scam....it will not be posted. ironic. i thought.

[ajoe]

Cool, I'll try it out. :D (I'm good at composing trashy poems anyway.)

[amuse]

so if iye
just post
sumthing
lyke thys
end priint it owt
cend it two
thim end say ime
uh poet-
ess, they'll
giv mee tuns uv
press
and ile bee won uv
there feechird
riters?
weeoooh!

must try it! ;)
actually, a fireman's wife at easter dinner suggested i submit something to them. needless to say, i did, was a semifinalist, and they were going to audiorecord it. after i received a second congrats more than a year later, i e-mailed them and said, "yo, y'all have received no poems from me" - they never :) contacted me again.

[ajoe]

I skipped a couple pages of this thread, but I decide to be fair I should throw in one of my malfunctions as well.

Ever since I got really, really addicted to the Internet, I compulsively use the expression lol... in fact, I've used it so much it sometimes nearly slip off my tongue when I converse in real life! http://www.addis-welt.de/smilie/smilie/diverse/kopfpatsch.gif

[emily655321]

--> LOL <-- Me too! I used to hate it, but now there are times I wish there was an equivalent I could use in conversation. So much easier than thinking of something to say. :D

[ajoe]

I say "laughing out loud" out loud instead. Hey, just in case you haven't noticed, you've passed your 1000th post! Yippee!!

[random_hero]

Holy divah!!! Wow!!! LOL!!11!!1!!!!ONE!!!one11!!

[simon]

I usually just laugh when I find something funny.

[verybaddmom]

i agree with you simon. just because i spend waaaaay too much time on the internet does not mean that i have lost my ability to express myself in social situations of the face to face persuasion. in fact i sometimes wish that i had the ability to use my body language and facial expressions to express myself on this forum. there are times that the only thing that correctly says what im feeling is one eyebrow raised or a great big grin. and Em, as if you cant think of something to say at all times. that just strikes me as not possible.

[verybaddmom]

and a big huge congrats on the post'o' rama you have engaged in. (postfest? post-stock? postacular?...i think im really tired!)
the big 1K eh? good for you hon. you win!:D

[simon]

Often I miss tone of voice for instances like sarcasm, but sometimes not being able to hear a person allows for less altercations and misinterpretation.

[verybaddmom]

i think i might have to disagree. rhetorical questions, sarcasm and teasing all require tone of voice and body language (specifically facial expressions) to be properly understood. there is so much more range to communication if the whole of the language is at our disposal, and so much of language is not just what is being said (or read).
that said, i believe that this forum is extremely useful, not just because of the friendships forged here or the benefits reaped from having intelligent sounding boards, but also for the practice in making oneself understood using only words. for any person who wishes to write effectively, that is an immesurably important tool. the ability to make clear your ideas and feelings using only the written language is highly underrated, and also much more difficult than one would think.

[verybaddmom]

see?
;)

[simon]

Agreed mom, pretend to hear my chuckles then.

[verybaddmom]

i already heard the chuckling...that wasnt you before? uhoh
:confused:

[simon]

If it wasn't me you'd better lock your doors and find the baseball bat.

[emily655321]

LMAO!

Wait, you mean you guys don't do that anyway?...uh...heh...I mean, me neither...

:D

Oh, and yes, I agree with you, VB. About the "learning to communicate with only words" thing. Although, I think maybe I have to spend more time on the "learning to communicate verbally" thing. When I type I don't skip a beat, but when I'm talking it's just a series of rapid "uhh...er er...well, it's like...wait, no, you know...um um um..." :D

[emily655321]

Oh, and were people referring to me about the 1000 posts? I'm way ahead of you. :D See "A hero's welcome."

[verybaddmom]

that is so funny Em. sometimes that happens to me where i just cannot find the right words and i sound like a sixth grader trying to order something on the phone with a parent's credit card. and other times everything comes out smooth and clear and with all these big words flowing like silk. while that is happening i am aware of it and so scared it will stop. but if it is the first time im meeting someone and it happens im thrilled because my first impression rocked. then of course, the next time i see them, im back to being a bumbling idiot. i wonder why that happens? (there is no relation to drug use, im sure!)

[random_hero]

I think I am the same way. My freinds will introduce me to someone, and because I really havent heard their voice I cant "pass judgement" on them. I meet girls who are no problem talking to when I dont know them, but once there is a connection there I always seem tense, and I start stuttering, and then I start feeling stoopid, and... Well, not all girls, but the ones who show some interest in me, and then I feel dumb and I am scared to really tak to them and the girls then think I am blowing the off. Writing seems to work best, I can be "sweet" and not really feel weird about it for some reason.

But that is one thng I forgot to mention... I analyze peoples voices alot. No scientific things, just cues. I have no idea how I do it, but I could tell for one reason or another a co-worker was dyslexic and adopted, and I had only met her a week before and talked once. Another girl talked to me for like 5 minutes and I knew she was seriously messed up, the next day found out she tries to kill herself sometimes. A freind(male) of mine never said A WORD about his parents, but I always knew there was something alittle off with him, and now I find out that his dad abused his mom and cheated on her and he saw and heard all/ most of it.
I blame all of that from listening to loveline^^^

[emily655321]

LOL Loveline has made pop psychologists of us all.

[Ender]

I liked The Cable Guy

But seriously, I just have this nasty habit of starting impossible things, and then when i get to the point that it seems possible, I quit, because it isn't fun anymore.

But, if something seems impossible, or I don't think that I'm able to do it, I'll sit down for 72 hours to prove to myself that it can be done. It just won't actually get done, since I'll quit.

Does that make any sense?

[emily655321]

I liked Cable Guy too.

And yes, that makes sense, because I'm the mistress of unfinished projects. In school I always picked the impossible research topic and right up til the deadline ignored any remark that I would be unable to complete it. Cut to 1am the night before it's due, me frantically googling and flipping through encyclopedias, trying desperately to paste together my thesis from obscure, unrelated sources...

[Koa]

I'm worse, cos I do that with possible/easy tasks :eek:

[verybaddmom]

all right, so im bringing this back up because i have discovered a new addiction in my life, and apparently its a major malfunction.
i have the piercing bug....i cant seem to stop. i have had nine in the last couple of years...and they keep getting more and more daring. i have almost run out of places to pierce. its costing me a fortune and irritating the heck out of my kid.....

[poehee99]

Sorry, this may be a stupid question but what happens when you go through a metal detector? it gives a signal right? but then when they check you with that hand detector it goes off nine times as well! Do they simply believe you've got nine piercings ? because everytime you go into a club or on a plain you have to go through the detectors.

[verybaddmom]

well, i dont go to clubs very often, in fact never.
but when i flew to vancouver a few months ago, i set off the metal detector. i explained that i had some piercings and they sort of gave me that funny look when the hand detector went off in certain areas. but they just let me through no problem, sort of wink wink, nudge nudge. but when i go to europe next year, i am considering taking them all out and using acrylic retainers as i know that the overseas security is tighter. i really dont want to have to take off all my clothes to have them inspected.....
i mean really...how embarassing!
now do you have a major malfuction?? spill the beans!

[poehee99]

well I am affraid of birds. doesn't really matter what kind from big birds like swans and geese to little ones like redbreasts. behind my house there's a water and a path which i can take into the city, but in the summer i never take this path but choose to make a detour of a couple of miles because there are swans on the path. furthermore when I watched hitch****'s birds i was wearin hats for weeks. it's only with birds because even after having seen arachnophobia i'm still not affraid of spiders. so there it is, i'm affraid of birds. a rather rare disorder.

[poehee99]

oh come on that's censorship! it's just the guy's name!

[verybaddmom]

LOL...yes sir, that's the way of the computer. it cant tell the difference.
there are many things that it would censor...like um....the pea****...and shuttle**** and ****tail.....
birds, eh?
that's a very unique disorder, no? i dont think i've ever heard of that before.....

[poehee99]

no I know I haven't heard it before. and it's a rather unfortunate one to have too because I can tell you: They are everywhere!

[amuse]

oh come on that's censorship! it's just the guy's name!someone was vulgar once upon a time re: weathervanes so that's been censored. you can blame me if you'd like.

[verybaddmom]

oh goodness....i could only imagine!!
i have a crow nesting right outside my balcony door, i guess you wont be coming to visit us anytime soon!
i have a disagreeable dislike of monkeys, if that makes you feel any better. strange but true..monkeys and clowns...ugh

[amuse]

btw, after i left my summer job, a pidgeon flew horizontally straight towards me. i was a teensy bit scared for a moment or two - like, hunh? you do see me?

[poehee99]

whenever I go to uni, I have to cross Dam Square in Amsterdam and as you may know the square is crowded with pigeons. That's probably the reason that i don't follow all my classes and it's got nothing to do with all the bars and sunny pavements that i cross on my way there.

[Taliesin]

Here's a page where you can find out your personal disorders (http://www.4degreez.com/misc/personality_disorder_test.mv)

For me it was:

Paranoid: Low
Schizoid: Moderate
Schizotypal: Moderate
Antisocial: Low
Borderline: Low
Histrionic: Moderate
Narcissistic: Low
Avoidant: Moderate
Dependent: Low
Obsessive-Compulsive: Moderate


Now how on earth am I so normal? Maybe I misunderstood some questions?

[verybaddmom]

Paranoid: Moderate
Schizoid: Low
Schizotypal: High
Antisocial: Moderate
Borderline: Moderate
Histrionic: High
Narcissistic: High
Avoidant: Moderate
Dependent: High
Obsessive-Compulsive: High

well, its official. thank you Taliesin, im nuts. way to go....like i didnt have enough to think about.....

[atiguhya padma]

Paranoid: Low
Schizoid: Moderate
Schizotypal: Low
Antisocial: Low
Borderline: Low
Histrionic: Low
Narcissistic: Low
Avoidant: Low
Dependent: Low
Obsessive-Compulsive: Moderate

Oh dear. I was hoping I might be completely abnormal. I guess I'll just have to try harder, I s'pose.:)

[amuse]

Paranoid: Moderate
Schizoid:Moderate
Schizotypal: Moderate
Antisocial: Low
Borderline: Low
Histrionic: Low
Narcissistic: Low
Avoidant: Low
Dependent: Low
Obsessive-Compulsive: Moderate

mmph. how boring. :p

[verybaddmom]

oh great...so it is just me.....perfect
you want not boring, amuse? come stay with me for a while!

[amuse]

okay. :D will be there bright and early. how does 10 hours from now sound, replete with a horsie that needs stabling, and me playing loud rap music wondering with mute terror if anyone can hear, or see me wearing a liberaci styled pink boa?
yes i Like the offer. :)
i can't do crazy that well can i? what was the award in the dorm for after all. it's all gone to waste. :bawling:
:D

[verybaddmom]

i have small patio, amuse, how big is your horsie? and i like the boa and my son loves rap. you should fit in fine. ten hours sounds good...buzz 5309 at the door. i'll make dinner.

[amuse]

darlin', i'm out the door-

[Nemerov]

Paranoid: Moderate
Schizoid: Low
Schizotypal: Moderate
Antisocial: Moderate
Borderline: Low
Histrionic: High
Narcissistic: High
Avoidant: High
Dependent: Low
Obsessive-Compulsive: Moderate

Scary, I think they're right.

[poehee99]

Disorder Rating Information
Paranoid: High
Schizoid: Moderate
Schizotypal: Moderate
Antisocial: Low
Borderline: Low
Histrionic: Low
Narcissistic: Moderate
Avoidant: Low
Dependent: Low
Obsessive-Compulsive: Low


they just might

[poehee99]

it's quite contradictory being moderate on schizoid/schizotypal on the one hand and being moderate on narcissistic on the other

[baddad]

Hmmmmm? Boxes.......lots and lots of boxes. Big boxes, little boxes, good boxes, bad boxes, boxes without corners, boxes without bottoms, boxes without tops or flaps or colour of any kind, boxes with holes in them............... and boxes filled with labels........... the simplicity of the human mind and its need the evaluate one's position in society relative to the value assigned to peers and other inhabitants of this planet is puzzling. Hmmm? I wonder which box is filled with all the chemicals the drug companies tell us we must have if we are to achieve this mythical nirvana, 'normal'? And who set the standard? I'll avoid the 'coffee table psychology' pages and just try to be me......

Too fine a point ya think?

[verybaddmom]

normal is just a setting on my washing machine, mikey....
that's the only place it belongs

[baddad]

Yeah baby!! "Nonconformists change the world"!!!!

[Edzabeen]

Disorder Rating Information
Paranoid: Low
Schizoid: Low
Schizotypal: Low
Antisocial: Low
Borderline: Low
Histrionic: Low
Narcissistic: Low
Avoidant: Low
Dependent: Low
Obsessive-Compulsive: Low

I think there's something wrong with me. I might have problems with answering to questions honestly :nod:

[baddad]

Paranoid? Doesn't mean someone is NOT out to get me.
Schizoid? Torn between realities? Love vs Hate?
Antisocial? Impossible to like everyone.
Borderline? Ahh! Rushing blindly across the border is where the danger lurks.
Histrionic? Venting can be a positive.
Narcissistic? It is vital to love one's self.
Avoidant? Some times the best course of action.
Dependent? Wanting to be loved is not yet a crime.
Obsessive-Compulsive? repetition breeds accuracy.

[SleepyWitch]

Paranoid: Low
Schizoid: Low
Schizotypal: Low
Antisocial: Low
Borderline: Low
Histrionic: Low
Narcissistic: Low
Avoidant: Low
Dependent: Low
Obsessive-Compulsive: Low

wooohoooo I'm totally un-crazy... hm,... on the other hand, too much sanity is the same as insanity.... :(

[papayahed]

Paranoid: Low
Schizoid: Low
Schizotypal: Moderate
Antisocial: Low
Borderline: Low
Histrionic: Low
Narcissistic: Low
Avoidant: Low
Dependent: Low
Obsessive-Compulsive: Low


Quick Summary:
Many believe that schizotypal personality disorder represents mild schizophrenia. The disorder is characterized by odd forms of thinking and perceiving, and individuals with this disorder often seek isolation from others. They sometimes believe to have extra sensory ability or that unrelated events relate to them in some important way. They generally engage in eccentric behavior and have difficulty concentrating for long periods of time. Their speech is often over elaborate and difficult to follow.

Symptoms of Schizotypal Personality Disorder:
Odd or eccentric mannerisms or appearance
Superstitious or preoccupied with paranormal phenomena
Difficult to follow speech patterns
Feelings of anxiety in social situations
Suspiciousness and paranoia
Odd beliefs or magical thinking
Appears shy, aloof, or withdrawn to others



Odd forms of thinking anf perceiving? Sound like a genius to me!!

[AimusSage]

Paranoid: High
Schizoid: Moderate
Schizotypal: High
Antisocial: Moderate
Borderline: Low
Histrionic: Moderate
Narcissistic: Moderate
Avoidant: Moderate
Dependent: Low
Obsessive-Compulsive: Low

Seems I am quite the nutter :D

Can't say this feels quite accurate but then again, maybe that is the reason for me being such a nutter in the first place.

[kilted exile]

Paranoid: High
Schizoid: High
Schizotypal: Moderate
Antisocial: Low
Borderline: Low
Histrionic: Low
Narcissistic: Moderate
Avoidant: High
Dependent: Low
Obsessive-Compulsive: Moderate

[Jay]

Paranoid: Low
Schizoid: Low
Schizotypal: Moderate
Antisocial: Low
Borderline: Low
Histrionic: Low
Narcissistic: Low
Avoidant: High
Dependent: Moderate
Obsessive-Compulsive: High

[woeful painter]

Looks like everybody's very much normal for me...I've taken this exam a year ago already, sadly though there haven't been much of an improvement, perhaps it just got worse...maybe I ought to see a psychiatrist?

Test Results
Paranoid: Very High
Schizoid: Moderate
Schizotypal: High
Antisocial: Low
Borderline: Very High
Histrionic: Low
Narcissistic: Moderate
Avoidant: High
Dependent: High
Obsessive-Compulsive: High

[Nightshade]

Paranoid: Low
Schizoid: Moderate
Schizotypal: Very High
Antisocial: Low
Borderline: Very High
Histrionic: Moderate
Narcissistic: High
Avoidant: High
Dependent: Moderate
Obsessive-Compulsive: High

Humm how can I be bordaline and narcissistic?!

Wait a miunte is it narssisitci when your first thought is always how does this affect me? and automatically are ashamed of yoursefl? if t is then yup Im one of them I knew I wsnt a very nice person :S :(
already knew about the Ocd well my family inssit I have it an I researched it a bit and tend to agree with them.
Maybe I shouldnt be working with the public?!

[emily655321]

I seem to think I've taken this on here before? Well, perhaps there's been improvement:

Paranoid: Low
Schizoid: Low
Schizotypal: Moderate
Antisocial: Low
Borderline: Moderate
Histrionic: Moderate
Narcissistic: Low
Avoidant: Very High
Dependent: Low
Obsessive-Compulsive: High

Avoidant Personality Disorder:
[a.k.a. shyness]
"Avoidant personality disorder is characterized by extreme social anxiety. People with this disorder often feel inadequate, avoid social situations, and seek out jobs with little contact with others. Avoidants are fearful of being rejected and worry about embarassing themselves in front of others. They exaggerate the potential difficulties of new situations to rationalize avoiding them. Often, they will create fantasy worlds to substitute for the real one. Unlike schizoid personality disorder, avoidants yearn for social relations yet feel they are unable to obtain them. They are frequently depressed and have low self-confidence."

Obsessive-Compulsive Personality Disorder:

"While Obsessive-Compulsive personality disorder (OCDP) sounds similar in name to obsessive-compulsive anxiety disorder, the two are markedly different disorders. People with obsessive-compulsive personality disorder are overly focused on orderliness and perfection. Their need to do everything "right" often interferes with their productivity. They tend to get caught up in the details and miss the bigger picture. They set unreasonably high standards for themselves and others, and tend to be very critical of others when they do not live up to these high standards. They avoid working in teams, believing others to be too careless or incompetent. They avoid making decisions because they fear making mistakes and are rarely generous with their time or money. They often have difficulty expressing emotion."

[woeful painter]

wooohoooo I'm totally un-crazy... hm,... on the other hand, too much sanity is the same as insanity.... :(

Isanity can be a burden or not, relative to the person. Being in control is what matters most as well as being flexible enough to accept or to bend to certain situations that may conflict one's feelings should the situation greatly call for it. Me for example... :nod:

It's good to know one's craziness sometimes, to be able to know yourself and thus change...for the better I hope...or at least just know for one's sake, to know which part of you needs repair or focusing creative attention to...

[Virgil]

Here are my results:



Disorder Rating
Paranoid: Low
Schizoid: Low
Schizotypal: Moderate
Antisocial: Low
Borderline: Low
Histrionic: High
Narcissistic: Moderate
Avoidant: Low
Dependent: Low
Obsessive-Compulsive: Low

People with histrionic personality disorder are constant attention seekers. They need to be the center of attention all the time, often interrupting others in order to dominate the conversation. They use grandiose language to discribe everyday events and seek constant praise. They may dress provacatively or exaggerate illnesses in order to gain attention. Histrionics also tend to exaggerate friendships and relationships, believing that everyone loves them. They are often manipulative.
I don't think I'm histrionic. I'm certainly not manipulative. I would have guessed narcistic.

[chmpman]

Paranoid: Low
Schizoid: Moderate
Schizotypal: Moderate
Antisocial: Low
Borderline: Low
Histrionic: High
Narcissistic: Low
Avoidant: High
Dependent: Moderate
Obsessive-Compulsive: Moderate

It's rigged I tell you!! It's a conspiracy done by Microsoft and Walmart to find out what kind of shoppers we are! They have the best socio-psycologists in the world working on it. Don't give in to their corporate thought policing!

[Riesa]

chmpman! according to the test you and I have the exact same personality disorders! How charming! :D (I really think it's a load of bull, the one Emily posted is more accurate I think)

thread (http://www.online-literature.com/forums/showthread.php?t=16626)

[chmpman]

That's too funny. I'll have to wait on the other thread for a time when I can handle answering that many questions about myself. It seemed really long.

[ElizabethSewall]

Paranoid: Low
Schizoid: Low
Schizotypal: Moderate
Antisocial: Low
Borderline: Low
Histrionic: Moderate
Narcissistic: Moderate
Avoidant: Moderate
Dependent: Moderate
Obsessive-Compulsive: Moderate

Rather true I think...

[Anon22]

Here's my results

Paranoid: Low
Schizoid: Low
Schizotypal: High
Antisocial: Low
Borderline: Low
Histrionic: Low
Narcissistic: Low
Avoidant: Moderate
Dependent: High
Obsessive-Compulsive: Moderate