Poem

[Wtalbot]

Smoking a Cigarette


A flash, a breath, a wisp of smoke--
Inhale strive relaxation--
Exhale exude contemplation--
I sit I stare under the regal oak.

Roaring in my ears,
Babble not to be bothered,
For my own, I have fathered.
Performed by many racketeers--

Deliberation before observation--
Inhale exhale relaxation--
Black shadow observation--
Anticipation--

Black shadow moves to grey--
Distances being minimize,
Direction toward me I realize,
Watching, observing I notice a sway.

Intended to me would not be so--
I choose even still to gawk,
My admiration Gods sculpture talk.
To me the excrement of a crow--

Lack of color straight and fine--
From the superior to the air--
The cool breeze I am made aware--
The Object of this obsession is mine.

Symmetric windows seem open to me--
Color is now my observation,
Green I believe is the temptation.
And all the rest I must see.

Another symmetric pair of perfection--
Molded by his divinity perceived--
Of great importance it is believed--
Obsessive observation, results in detection.

Fidget thumping of vibration has ceased--
Now in front of me I admire--
No inhale exhale, only fire.
No sound or movement resembling deceased--

I sit I stare in pure amazement,
Of a sculptured creation made so perfect,
To worship this with my respect,
Observation with no consent.

Twinkle, glimmer in the interior--
Bounded by a pool of bronze,
Never produced whichever spawns.
So many others must feel inferior--

More bronze to be just interrupted--
Resume once more and to the end,
Two paths taken as they descend,
A man to be corrupted.

Empty and no soul to share--
Inhale exhale, relaxation--
Clouds are void now termination--
Color to grey I sit solitaire.


William Talbot
04/24/2007

[Wtalbot]

Hey somebody give me input, tell me what you think about it...tell me what you think it means.....

[Pendragon]

No, it's not that. Deep waters, I'm thinking. Lots of imagery surrounding colors and smoking, which makes me wonder what one is smoking—(forgive the suspicions of a former flower child!)—it’s all sort of surreal with no real anchor point in real space, like a cipher without the key… beautiful images, but no soundtrack… I don’t know if this makes sense… the poem is there, the stage is set, the music ready, fine tune it…http://i94.photobucket.com/albums/l108/AbsalomKane/Smilies/BlackCrow.gif

[Wtalbot]

Some repairs made....Title given to avoid the confusion.

[Pendragon]

Yes! Much more clear, and now grounded: Smoking and contemplating the secrets of the soul in a park near a bronze religious statue, concluding there is no reason to believe... at least that is what I get out if it, so it made sense to me. Other will no doubt draw their own conclusions, which is how it should be. Wonderful job! http://i94.photobucket.com/albums/l108/AbsalomKane/Smilies/Appaluse.gif

[Wtalbot]

Interesting and yes, thats how it should be....I am very curious what others get out of it also. Thank you for the complement.

[Adolescent09]

I saw the previous version and compared it to your newly revised addition. I must say it has dramatically improve Wtalbot. Great job!--and welcome to the forums :D

[Wtalbot]

Thank you Adolescent09, all input is greatly appreciated. Would you like to share your analysis?

[Wtalbot]

I would like to know if this is interesting enough for anyone to sit down and take the time to analyze it. Every bit of it has meaning and to me a very specific one. The interpretation is up to you the reader however.

[vhaney]

This is a difficult one for me to understand as I am a poet of the hearts love pangs but it almost seems to me that you could be observing a moving skyscape of clouds or perhaps even a catastrophic fire.

I didn't read the first draft but I can say i do like this one.

Welcome

[Wtalbot]

Thank you very much....I am finding that it normally takes about 3 readings to digest the majority of it....it is also helpful to read it out loud. Thank you for your input, I really appreciate it.