A Funny Thing Happened on the way to the Forum [Archive]

View Full Version : A Funny Thing Happened on the way to the Forum

Niamh

04-08-2007, 05:06 PM

Something odd or bizarre happen today? Maybe someone said something funny to you that you'd like to share? Did something amusing happen in work perhaps? Maybe you hit your head getting out of bed? Or saw someone stand up on a bus only to discover they'd sat on gum?

Why not share the odd, funny and down right unusual happenings of you morning, night, or day before logging on right here and share the amusementwith everyone!:D

kathycf

04-08-2007, 05:26 PM

Well, I don't know how relevant this is to the topic, but...I was on earlier, and logged off to do a few things. Just before I came on this afternoon, a friend called to wish my a Happy Easter.

So, Easter came earlyish this year, eh? I had no idea it was today.... I should get out of the old hermit cave a bit more. ;)

Nightshade

04-09-2007, 08:10 AM

Well last tuesday a couple of women from the parish ( catholic) stopped me in the street and actually this might work better as a scene.

scene, street corner in manchester, by my house the lights take about 5 minutes to change and waiting ther is a pain but crossing there without the lights would be an infinatly greater terminal type of pain.

I coming rushing ( dressed in a long denium skirt a white top a red jacket and my black headscarf thing youll see the importance in a bit) up need to catch the 10 minute bus and am in a hurry-ish to get to uni and collect my grades,

2 women about 60 on the corne with a bunch of flyers
Me: ( thinking) Oh lost people smile on face open mouth to say can I help you
woman1: (In a lovley accent) Hello we are from the Parish of st joseph o you know st Josephs
Me: U..
woman2: Our priest Father Ryan wasnt to let everyone know they are welcome any time t come to mass its a catholic church

Me :nod and smile

woman1: Do you know the catholic church?
Me: Only the big one on Oxford road
Woman 2: well your welcome anytime to our church and its holy week ,do you know its holy week?

Me: Yes I do actually

woman2: Ahh your catholic!
me paniccing touching my head I didnt come out without my scarf on did I No its still there :eek: strage women
Me: Nooo, Im a muslem
woman1: Oh well then wed like to give you this anyway --hands me a flyer and a necklcae medal thing --
Woman2: Its a mircalous medal and its called that becasue of the mircals that became associated with it and its blessed by the priest.

me: :eek: Do i take this or not? Errem well hurting someones feelings is worse than accepting it soo Thankyou

Women: God bless you
me : as I run to catch the bus yes you too thankyou

__________________________________________________ _______________
Now in all that what I dont understand is how they mistook me for a nun, because I guess it must be a nun as there is a monstary down by where I live and you see them often enough But Ive never seen a nun in red.
:lol:

Virgil

04-09-2007, 08:14 AM

Great story, Night!!

Niamh

04-09-2007, 08:19 AM

woman2: Ahh your catholic!
me paniccing touching my head I didnt come out without my scarf on did I No its still there :eek: strage women
__________________________________________________ _______________
Now in all that what I dont understand is how they mistook me for a nun, because I guess it must be a nun as there is a monstary down by where I live and you see them often enough But Ive never seen a nun in red.
:lol:

:lol: Sorry about that! Old Catholic women can be very strange! (for some reason i imagined both of them woth thick irish accents!) Dont know how they didnt notice your scarf, but then again my experience of old women in my parish sounds fairly similar to that! but usually they say ' now arent you a good girl for taking that from an nice old woman like me.'

I also dont think i've ever seen a nun in red!

Nightshade

04-09-2007, 08:44 AM

:lol: Sorry about that! Old Catholic women can be very strange! (for some reason i imagined both of them woth thick irish accents!) Dont know how they didnt notice your scarf, but then again my experience of old women in my parish sounds fairly similar to that! but usually they say ' now arent you a good girl for taking that from an nice old woman like me.'

I also dont think i've ever seen a nun in red!

Oh well it was definatly Irish she said Catolic thats irish isnt it? but I only know as part of my family is Catholic and irish catholic at that... Id like to vivt a church someday but not in holy week, how intrusive and rude would that be.
And I dont mind my gran got the medal and I think she was absolutly chuffed that they thought I was a nun. But Ive had some nice old ladies like that 'oh Idont know what we do if you didnt bother with us' when we deliver their books you know :D
I like little old ladies generally well until they start going on about do you have a boyfriend yet?

mazz

04-09-2007, 08:57 AM

as i drove into my street last night there were 3 fire engines on the corner, sad to say that the kinder had caught on fire. It has to be the unluckiest kindergarten, last year it rained heavily and a great build up of water ran through it and washed the playground down our street.

Niamh

04-09-2007, 09:04 AM

Oh well it was definatly Irish she said Catolic thats irish isnt it? but I only know as part of my family is Catholic and irish catholic at that... Id like to vivt a church someday but not in holy week, how intrusive and rude would that be.
And I dont mind my gran got the medal and I think she was absolutly chuffed that they thought I was a nun. But Ive had some nice old ladies like that 'oh Idont know what we do if you didnt bother with us' when we deliver their books you know :D
I like little old ladies generally well until they start going on about do you have a boyfriend yet?

Oh you mean she pronounced Catholic Wrong? yes then she probably was Irish!:lol: We dont really pronounce our TH's properly!
Better off visiting a nice old church when is nice and quiet. But then again... the priest my approach you and start telling you ' Now Jesus, he was a nice young lad. loved both of his perants'.:p

papayahed

04-09-2007, 09:10 AM

Now in all that what I dont understand is how they mistook me for a nun, because I guess it must be a nun as there is a monstary down by where I live and you see them often enough But Ive never seen a nun in red.
:lol:

When I was in grade school (Catholic School) in order to prepare for the sacrament of Confirmation we had to do community service, well not really community service just helping others. There was a convent (Nun's house) attached to the school. For part of our service a bunch of us decided to help the Nun's with their spring cleaning. Not only did we saw the Nun's in regular cloths!!!!! upon opening their fridge we saw beer and wine!!!! The Nun's drank alcohol!!!!! Holy Toledo. We were amazed.

Nightshade

04-09-2007, 09:16 AM

Well I am kind of flattered to be mistaken for someone who has that much belief is nice I think :nod:

Oh you mean she pronounced Catholic Wrong? yes then she probably was Irish!:lol: We dont really pronounce our TH's properly!
Better off visiting a nice old church when is nice and quiet. But then again... the priest my approach you and start telling you ' Now Jesus, he was a nice young lad. loved both of his perants'.:p
Hehe Id probaly try to trump him knowing me and start spouting verses. But actually it would be intresting so many things Id like to ask but am always afraid of offending someon I think next year I when they set up the ask the rabbi stall I might actually screw up the corage to go and ask him a few quetsions

When I was in grade school (Catholic School) in order to prepare for the sacrament of Confirmation we had to do community service, well not really community service just helping others. There was a convent (Nun's house) attached to the school. For part of our service a bunch of us decided to help the Nun's with their spring cleaning. Not only did we saw the Nun's in regular cloths!!!!! upon opening their fridge we saw beer and wine!!!! The Nun's drank alcohol!!!!! Holy Toledo. We were amazed.

:D well I guess that could have been it :nod: :D

Koa

04-09-2007, 10:38 AM

woman2: Ahh your catholic!
me paniccing touching my head I didnt come out without my scarf on did I No its still there :eek: strage women
Me: Nooo, Im a muslem

:D:D:D Great description of the scene Nighty, I don't think they mistook you for a nun, I think they just forgot about the existence of Muslims by being really into their thing eheh lol.

As for visiting church, have you been inside Manchester cathedral? It's cool - though it's not Catholic I believe, it must be protestant... We can go there one day :P Or the one in Oxford Road (the one by my campus?), I'm sure it's Catholic but I've never been inside, I don't want to be mistaken for a believer lol (kidding but well, not too much I fear)

P.S. By the way the Rabbi stall was there again not long ago, for the students elections I think... he looked rather bored. For basic questions well, I've been raised a Catholic so I still have basic knowledge, after all I harrass you enough you can harrass me back :lol:

kathycf

04-09-2007, 11:13 AM

That is a funny story, Night. I don't think they mistook you for a nun either, because why would they start trying to give you stuff about the church and asking if you knew it? I think they just might not have grasped the significance of your head scarf.

As my ex-mother in law would have said... "Sacred Heart, all these young grrrls running around with scarves!. Did ye ever see the like?!" :p

Oh, um yea. I have noticed the accents thingy with former inlaws. ;)

Nightshade

04-09-2007, 11:25 AM

As for visiting church, have you been inside Manchester cathedral? It's cool - though it's not Catholic I believe, it must be protestant... We can go there one day :P Or the one in Oxford Road (the one by my campus?), I'm sure it's Catholic but I've never been inside, I don't want to be mistaken for a believer lol (kidding but well, not too much I fear)

P.S. By the way the Rabbi stall was there again not long ago, for the students elections I think... he looked rather bored. For basic questions well, I've been raised a Catholic so I still have basic knowledge, after all I harrass you enough you can harrass me back :lol:

Im pretty sure manchgester cathedrial is CofE but thats thing I have a ridiclous fear of offending anyone that Im a bit afraid to go exploring though Id really loe to see the inside of a church

That is a funny story, Night. I don't think they mistook you for a nun either, because why would they start trying to give you stuff about the church and asking if you knew it? I think they just might not have grasped the significance of your head scarf.

As my ex-mother in law would have said... "Sacred Heart, all these young grrrls running around with scarves!. Did ye ever see the like?!" :p

Oh, um yea. I have noticed the accents thingy with former inlaws. ;)

:D hummm ah more info for he kathy puzzle you had irish inlaws! :D

kathycf

04-09-2007, 11:37 AM

Im pretty sure manchgester cathedrial is CofE but thats thing I have a ridiclous fear of offending anyone that Im a bit afraid to go exploring though Id really loe to see the inside of a church

:D hummm ah more info for he kathy puzzle you had irish inlaws! :D

Heh, yes I did,and my ex mother in law really did say "Sacred Heart" as an exclamation. :lol:

I think it is ok to go inside and see the church. I doubt you are going to go in there and make a ruckus, just looking around when the church is quiet isn't going to hurt anything.

Petrarch's Love

04-09-2007, 12:37 PM

Now in all that what I dont understand is how they mistook me for a nun, because I guess it must be a nun as there is a monstary down by where I live and you see them often enough But Ive never seen a nun in red.

:lol: That's a funny story, Night. Actually, I've started to wonder if there are more nuns running around in red than we think. I had a similar experience this last summer. My mom and I were on a road trip from California to Chicago and, while driving through miles of prairie in Kansas, we suddenly came upon a huge old stone church standing out in the middle of nowhere. Really, nowhere. Nothing but flat grass and fields stretching as far as the eye could see and this huge stone church standing up tall with a big cemetary attached to it.

Naturally we were curious, so we stopped off and found that the church was attached to a little one street town. We got out of the car, both wearing our denim shorts (and mine were pretty short shorts) and me in a fairly petite bright red tank top. It so happened that we ran into the ninety-one year old man who had helped lay the cornerstone for the church, which turned out to be a Catholic church. He offered to let us in so we could see the inside, so we went in and he told us about how they'd brought in the stones and the stained glass, and how sad he was because the parish was shrinking with all the young people going off to the big city, and Mum and I sat and said a short prayer.

Now, all this time I was feeling incredibly self conscious being in church wearing my summer shorts and little red tank top, until the old man turns to us and says "I guess you two ladies must be nuns?" He even seemed surprised when we said we weren't. What's more he had three daughters who really were nuns, so you'd think he would know what one looked like. Of course we were polite to him, but once we got in the car we were laughing for miles.

Virgil

04-09-2007, 12:41 PM

Now, all this time I was feeling incredibly self conscious being in church wearing my summer shorts and little red tank top, until the old man turns to us and says "I guess you two ladies must be nuns?" He even seemed surprised when we said we weren't. What's more he had three daughters who really were nuns, so you'd think he would know what one looked like. Of course we were polite to him, but once we got in the car we were laughing for miles.

:lol: :lol: Now-a-days nuns are getting hip. You don't know the latest trends. :p

Koa

04-09-2007, 06:36 PM

Im pretty sure manchgester cathedrial is CofE but thats thing I have a ridiclous fear of offending anyone that Im a bit afraid to go exploring though Id really loe to see the inside of a church

Church of England? Yes that's what I mean by protestant :blush:, my mistake.

LOL @ Petrarch, it has happened to me several times to try and enter churches forgetting that I wasn't wearing sleeves (and I don't wear tank tops if they are what I think they are, just t-shirt kind of things with no sleeves, I dont like those summery things) and being stopped because of that. While of course tourists are there in the shortest shorts ever... :rolleyes:

SleepyWitch

04-10-2007, 05:32 AM

What's more he had three daughters who really were nuns, so you'd think he would know what one looked like.

:lol: :lol: :lol: hehe, this line had me go *rofl*

i might have posted this before in another thread:
one day there was a flyer from my landlord in the mail saying:
"We regret to have found a coffin in the cellar and insist that the party who has ordered or delivered the coffin or owns it remove it at once."

Nightshade

04-10-2007, 08:29 AM

:lol: vampiers :D

seymore butts88

04-10-2007, 08:33 AM

hey this is pretty good. I will be looking forward to reading more of your literature stories.

dramasnot6

04-10-2007, 09:07 AM

I also dont think i've ever seen a nun in red!

If anyone has read "The Handmaids Tale" that is what the handmaids looked like. They referred to them as "Sisters dipped in blood"

Sorry...random thought of intertexuality :p

Great thread niamh!

Virgil

04-10-2007, 09:31 AM

Sorry...random thought of intertexuality :p

:lol: Great phrase. I've got to use that myself sometime. :thumbs_up

optimisticnad

04-10-2007, 01:19 PM

AimusSage

04-10-2007, 01:23 PM

On my journey home from Wales today I got stuck on the M6. traffic. and everybody in the other cars were picking their nose. ! seriously, id lost count how many drivers we went past or went past us who were picking their nose.
is that part of the driving practical test? how wisely u use your time when your not moving in your car?
I pick my nose when stuck in traffic, not much else to do really...:p

optimisticnad

04-10-2007, 01:27 PM

uhhh....yes, thanks for that little detail. i will now frover have an image of Amess sitting in his fast car not moving picking away his nose and thinking what to eat with turnips.

Nightshade

04-10-2007, 03:04 PM

If anyone has read "The Handmaids Tale" that is what the handmaids looked like. They referred to them as "Sisters dipped in blood"

Sorry...random thought of intertexuality :p

Great thread niamh!

Alias grace was a better read... but yes, still they were hardly nuns were they..

On my journey home from Wales today I got stuck on the M6. traffic. and everybody in the other cars were picking their nose. ! seriously, id lost count how many drivers we went past or went past us who were picking their nose.
is that part of the driving practical test? how wisely u use your time when your not moving in your car?

On the M6 today you poor thing how many hours were you stuck?

Niamh

04-11-2007, 03:01 PM

In work today there was a lot of activity and noise. I've had to listen to drilling and hammering for most of the day. So on the phone i got the the Dublin Airport D.M to put in a bit of a complainted as i couldnt answer the phone or do customer queries because of the noise. The guy came down to have a talk with the builders who had told them they be finished drilling at 3pm. This is now 5.10pm. He comes in to appologies and as he is talking to me his phone rings. The load noise in backround is still going on but when it stops suddenly all i can hear if the DAAD.M saying he had to go investigate a suitcase full of fish. I though i was hearing things and had to ask him if i'd heard him right. I had. Some nigerian was going through customs with a suitcase of fish, as as its illigal to bring raw meat in to the country this way he was stopped. Outraged he wanted to issue a complaint.
Now isnt that odd!

kathycf

04-11-2007, 03:39 PM

That is a suitcase that will NEVER be used again....:sick: People are so silly sometimes!

Lioness_Heart

04-11-2007, 04:02 PM

I was very confused today... I went out to post a letter in the village post box, and I passed this old man walking his dog. I was just about to say 'good afternoon' when he said, 'I bet that's the most work you've done all day'. I was EXTREMELY confused, especially since I'd been up since 6. But I just went into smile and nod mode, and walked on.

People in my village are strange...

Niamh

04-12-2007, 03:37 AM

Lioness_Heart

04-12-2007, 07:38 AM

Really? thats a bit weird!:lol: you were probably better off just smiling and nodding while secretly saying 'weirdo' in your head.

yeah... I'm a bit scared to go out now! Since the man across the road speaks to me in latin whenever he sees me!!

Niamh

04-12-2007, 10:39 AM

yeah... I'm a bit scared to go out now! Since the man across the road speaks to me in latin whenever he sees me!!

Oh dear....! Could be worse.... you could be imagining what a suitcase full of raw(and possibly rotten) fish looks like!

Lioness_Heart

04-12-2007, 10:57 AM

Oh dear....! Could be worse.... you could be imagining what a suitcase full of raw(and possibly rotten) fish looks like!

True... but now I AM imagining what a suitcase full of fish looks like. Odd thing to do... put fish in a suitcase...

Oh dear. What is my cat doing now???

Koa

04-12-2007, 05:54 PM

On my journey home from Wales today I got stuck on the M6. traffic. and everybody in the other cars were picking their nose. ! seriously, id lost count how many drivers we went past or went past us who were picking their nose.
is that part of the driving practical test? how wisely u use your time when your not moving in your car?

You're in the UK?? I didn't know! I always think that everybody on this site is American, unless it's clearly stated otherwise.
I think I've been on the M6 once :D Everybody says it's terrible :P

Niamh

05-08-2007, 02:33 PM

Ok so everyone knows that i work in a bookshop! So why is it that some people look around the shop see that its full of books and mags and then come over to you and ask for one of the following...(now this is a daily thing and makes us all laugh in work!)
-Stamps, (does this look like a post office?)
-Paracetamol (Pharmacy...duh!)
-Cigarettes (:rolleyes: you cant even smoke in the airport what do you need cigs for!)
and the best one is this!- tampons and sanitary towels!:lol: (yeah you'll find those between true crime and biography!:p)

After today...i thought i had to tell you!:D

SleepyWitch

05-08-2007, 03:10 PM

Niamh

05-09-2007, 12:16 PM

well unlike W.H.Smiths we dont sell stationary or art supplies or craft stuff. We just sell Lots of books, magazines, newspapers, some sweets and some water.

In one of our shops, when it was small enough that you couldnt swing a cat, a young american girl walked all the way arount the shop, saw books and mag and newspapers came to the desk to me (back when i wasnt a suprevisor) and said 'do you sell tampons?' i replied by saying 'no we dont sell tampons because we are a bookshop, but there is a pharmacy back down on the main dutyfree area.' She nodded her head and said 'oh... so you dont have them then. And where can i get them?' :confused: i had to explain it to her again.:lol:

Nightshade

05-09-2007, 06:05 PM

:lol: well we get do you sell stamps all the time and we are a library we barley sell anything. :rolleyes:
so not smiths...hummmm ....Im narrowing it down niamh so one day Ill turn up at the airport and say guess what Im coming to see the fort of the fairy queen :nod: :D :p

You know how last year there was the strech of Nights wierdos? well met another one...or someone has written on my head stroke this. :rolleyes: I was outside the trainstaion on monday annoyed because my bus wasnt running because its a bankholiday and at 5 in the afternoon these guys who were drunk, or off their head one nearly knocked me flying * I gave him the evils*. Then at the traffic light the guy that almost knocked me over comes over and does the messing hair thing, you know what you do to little kids? and goes hello.

hello?! I think its because Im so short but Im just the right height for this but its really getting annoyed :nod::D

Niamh

05-09-2007, 06:10 PM

:lol: I'll be in arrivals with a banner full of smilies!:D

Niamh

05-10-2007, 10:04 AM

Oh and a picture of a fairy of course!:D

Niamh

05-14-2007, 01:20 PM

you know how every now and then you see someone do something daft? Wel the traffic to work the other day was mental, and of course me being the lazy sod that i am, had decided to get a taxi to work. Well we were stuck at the end on a huge line of traffic, and of course my taxi driver was contemplating sneakilly taking a short cut up a one way system to get me to work, when all of a sudden what do we see out the left side of the car? Only a car driving along the footpath, trying to cut off the traffic! And he wasnt going slow by any means, even though he had to avoid street lamps and sign posts. He could of potentially ended up wrapped around a lamp post! Lunacy! He also went up the one way street.
Lets just say that we werent the only vehicule who were left gobsmacked by stupidity!

SleepyWitch

05-16-2007, 10:47 AM

In one of our shops, when it was small enough that you couldnt swing a cat,

cruelty towards animals, tut tut... I know your sort :) cat-swinging.. is it a sport like caber-tossing in Scotland? :D :D

hm, nothing weird ever happens to me...
last term, I taught a tutorial on Thursdays 1-2 p.m. My boss (who taught the course my tutorial went along with)was Ms. M. but lots of other lecturers taught the same course, including Ms S.
From 12 to 1, Mr K's tutor used the same room i was in from 1 to 2.
so the usual schedule was like this:
Mr K's tutorial (= another girl), Thur 12-1
Ms M's tutorial (=me) Thur 1-2
Ms S.s tutorial (=a totally different girl on a totally different day in a totally different room)

this one time, lots of students i didn't know showed up at 1 o'clock. Mr. K's tutor was just leaving.

enter confused students
students Ms S.s told us the tutorial would be from 12- 1 this week
me which tutorial? the one for her course? this is the one for Ms M.s course.
students Ms S.s said it would be on Thursday, 12-1 this week.
me it's one o'clock. If you were going to attend the 12- 1 tutorial, you've just missed it.
students Ms S. said it would be at 12 today.
me are you in Ms S.'s course?
students Yes.
me Ok. This is the tutorial for Ms M.'s course. You can stay here. But it's one o'clock now. If you're looking for the 12-1 tutorial you're too late.
students She said the tutorial would be on Thursday this week.
me What exactly did Ms. S. say? Did she say her tutor's tutorial would be taught in this room on Thursday for this one week? Or did she say "You can go to Ms M's tutor's class this week, your tutor is ill, she will be back next week." This is Ms M's tutorial. It's always on Thursday. If you are looking for Mr. K's tutorial, it's just finished. That's the one at 12.
students er?
me Ok, anyway. You can stay here.
students She said it's at 12.
.
.
.
*ya, whatever*
what on earth where they doing there at 1 p.m. anyway when they thought it was at 12?
why didn't Ms S. mail me to tell me she'd send her students to my tutorial???:confused: :confused: :confused:

Niamh

05-16-2007, 05:20 PM

cruelty towards animals, tut tut... I know your sort :) cat-swinging.. is it a sport like caber-tossing in Scotland? :D :D

hm, nothing weird ever happens to me...
last term, I taught a tutorial on Thursdays 1-2 p.m. My boss (who taught the course my tutorial went along with)was Ms. M. but lots of other lecturers taught the same course, including Ms S.
From 12 to 1, Mr K's tutor used the same room i was in from 1 to 2.
so the usual schedule was like this:
Mr K's tutorial (= another girl), Thur 12-1
Ms M's tutorial (=me) Thur 1-2
Ms S.s tutorial (=a totally different girl on a totally different day in a totally different room)

this one time, lots of students i didn't know showed up at 1 o'clock. Mr. K's tutor was just leaving.

enter confused students
students Ms S.s told us the tutorial would be from 12- 1 this week
me which tutorial? the one for her course? this is the one for Ms M.s course.
students Ms S.s said it would be on Thursday, 12-1 this week.
me it's one o'clock. If you were going to attend the 12- 1 tutorial, you've just missed it.
students Ms S. said it would be at 12 today.
me are you in Ms S.'s course?
students Yes.
me Ok. This is the tutorial for Ms M.'s course. You can stay here. But it's one o'clock now. If you're looking for the 12-1 tutorial you're too late.
students She said the tutorial would be on Thursday this week.
me What exactly did Ms. S. say? Did she say her tutor's tutorial would be taught in this room on Thursday for this one week? Or did she say "You can go to Ms M's tutor's class this week, your tutor is ill, she will be back next week." This is Ms M's tutorial. It's always on Thursday. If you are looking for Mr. K's tutorial, it's just finished. That's the one at 12.
students er?
me Ok, anyway. You can stay here.
students She said it's at 12.
.
.
.
*ya, whatever*
what on earth where they doing there at 1 p.m. anyway when they thought it was at 12?
why didn't Ms S. mail me to tell me she'd send her students to my tutorial???:confused: :confused: :confused:

Talking about confusion Sleepy! i agree. You should have been informed and i also think those students should have asked, or used there common sense and noted the time!:p

papayahed

06-24-2007, 08:47 PM

It took so long to find this thread I forgot what my funny thing was...

Niamh

06-25-2007, 11:14 AM

well when you remember let us know!:D

Niamh

08-11-2007, 04:45 PM

i've a funny thing to tell you all but because i've left it too late, and i'm too tired i promise i'll write it up tomorrow.

Shalot

09-10-2007, 08:55 PM

The trend lately has been for girls to wear sweat pants or shorts that have cute little writing on the butt usually saying something like, princess, angel, hottie etc...

Well, I went to Wal-Mart. Wal-Mart is always full of oddballs and the later you go the more ghoulish they become. And there was a lady wearing a pair of pants that were supposed to say "hottie" on the butt. She was anything but a hottie, but that's not the funny part. The funny part was that according to her pants, she was a "hot tie" instead of a "hottie." One one cheek it said "hot" and on the other it said "tie" and there was a big gap between the letters and the whole thing was comical. She purchased her pants out of the irregular bin I guess. :lol: I don't know. Maybe it's not that funny. But it kind of was. To me at least.

Riesa

09-10-2007, 09:06 PM

that is funny. :lol: this is the image I got:

Hot | Tie

:lol:

Ugh, I had to go to Wal-Mart today too, some days are worse than others for Wal-Mart experiences, mine was just gross. I wanted to buy some turkey from the deli, (never a good idea at Wal-Mart) but I didn't want to have to stop at the grocery store so I went up to the counter and the deli-lady was coughing into her hands over and over, and there were about three or four people back there behind the counter, all NOT the people I want handling my sandwich meat. the coughing lady went over to the sink and started splashing water on her face.

needless to say I settled for the prepackaged stuff today. yuck yuck yuck.

i've a funny thing to tell you all but because i've left it too late, and i'm too tired i promise i'll write it up tomorrow.

Niamh...this was a month ago!!! what about your promise??!!! ;)

Niamh

09-11-2007, 11:57 AM

Oops!:blush: I've actually got two.

Okay so here it goes!

Daddy Shed, Mammy Shed, Baby Shed:p

About a month ago I arrived home after a late shift to the oddest scene. I walked into my house and proceeded into my living room to discover my parents, my older sister and one of her friends pauline sitting around my living room table. Whats odd about this you say? My sister NEVER sits in our house with my parents let alone with a friend. Immediately i know something was up. What startled me most was the worried expressions on their faces.
"Whats going on?" i asked them as i sat my bag down on the floor by the couch.
"What if they come back?" May mother queried with my sister. I stood there blankly looking form one to the other.
"What if who comes back? Whats happened?"
My sister looked at me and replied, "Theres been a bit of a funny but worrying incident." So my sister decided to fill me in with what had happened.
She had been sitting in her house next door with my niece when they heard someone standing at their front door talking on a mobile phone. She asked my niece who she thought it was or if she was expecting anyone. My niece told her no, but that the guy on the other side of the door sounded like a traveller.
" Ah here!" my sister snorted. "They better not be knocking here expecting us to buy carpet off them!" so she went to the door and pulled down the blind and shut the living room door.
For a few minutes everything was fine. Then all they could here was the sound of someone leaping over the back gate and into the back garden. Now my sister shares the same garden as my parents; her house having been built onto the side of ours. When she heard the sound of the Traveller jumping over the back gate she immediately ran into our house though the partition door that separated one kitchen from the other. She said all she was thinking was making sure our back door was closed.
Now all this while my mam is sitting in our living room watching tv, most likely corrie, completely oblivious to the fact that something was about to happen. As soon as my sister barges into the kitchen and goes straight to the back door, my mam is on her feet. She assumes that its started raining and Aileen has clothes on the line and goes to help. When she gets into the kitchen she finds Aileen not trying to open the back door, but making sure it was closed.
"Is everything alright?" she inquires as Aileen goes to the window and starts peeping out into the back.
"There's a Traveller in the back garden." she squeals. "Christ! He's after getting into the shed!"
"Which shed?" my mam asks.
"The one beside the sitting room window!"
My mam wanders into the sitting room and peers out the window. Its getting dark out at this stage, but there was still enough light for my mam to see what was going on out the back. She looks to the shed and all she can see is the Travellers fingers jutting out.
She gets herself into a panic and announces shes calling the Guards, which she does in a hurry and quickly tells them there is an intruder in our back garden.
She Puts down the Phone and tells my sister they'll be at the house soon.
Little did they realise there was already a squad car in the area, and they are knocking on our door in a matter of seconds.
My sister opens the door. Her jaw drops. There's not just one police car after pulling up out side the house but two. And to make the situation even more surreal, a special branch car turns up. A couple of Guardai are standing at the door and she letts them in. She explains to them what happened, and led them into the kitchen. My dad, who had been closed up in his den with his head phones on this whole time walks out of his room and into the kitchen with all the intentions of making himself a coffee. He looks on in amazement at the two guardai standing in his kitchen.
"He's in the shed." She tells them as she opens the back door. One of the Guardai looks out the back garden and see two sheds. One really big one which was full of junk from my dads hording days, with a wonky rotten door painted black that was standing open a jar, and a smaller regular wooden garden shed used to store the odd bike, a few pots of paint and lawn mower.
"Which shed?" he inquires as they step out into the back garden.
"That bleedin' shed!" She cries.
Both of the guards look to where she was pointing. She wasnt pointing at the two sheds that stood out against the cream painted, ivy covered back garden walls. No. She was pointing at a small, tiny little tool shed used to store a few small garden tools like the shears, trowels and weeding tools. You could almost discribe the shed as a small coal bunker.
The two guards walk over to the shed and lift the lid and find the Traveller cowering in the corner, scrunched up into a ball like a hedgehog. Aileen looks into the sitting room as they are hauling him out to see my mam inside talking to the other guards and the special branch. The two Guardai have the Traveller on his feet and start to bring him through the house and out to their car, where they then question him. The other police officers and the special branch head off as they arent really needed. Statements had been given by my mam and my sister at this stage. My dad is standing at the door with them, coffee in hand. The Guardai have the Traveller in the back of their car, one of them sitting in the car with him while the other is walking up the driveway toewards the frontdoor. Naturally the whole street is out curious to know whats going on.
With an amused grin on his face the guard turns to them and asks, "Do you know Mr Joyce?"
"Wha'? Him?" Aileen snorts.
"He says he knows you and that he came to visit." The Officer informs them.
Aileen, whos a fairly loudmouthed individual starts to cackle. "Wha'..! He came to visit me bleedin' shed then!"
The Guard chuckles and states that they are going to bring him down to the station, and heads on his way.
An hour later the door bell rings. My mam gets up off the couch, where she'd finally gotten comfortable again and goes to answer the door. Standing on the other side are two Travellers. They'd come on behalf of their brother to apologise.
"He didnt mean te disturb yeh." One of them states. "An' now he's te go te court in the mar'nin."
"I know nothing about him going to the courts in the morning. Thats got nothing to do with me. I havent said i was pressing charges. He shouldnt have been in my back garden." My mam informs them.
"But he wasn' up to an'in. He was just hidin is all. If he'd gone out to the road the Guards would have caught him."
And so the penny drops. The reason why the guards had been so wuick to get to the house was because they were already looking for someone. The Traveller who happened to be in our shed.
I couldnt believe what had happened. My mother was worried that the brothers might come back, or cause us some bother. Aileen was wondering should she get her locks changed, my dad was drinking coffee and Aileens friend pauline was laughing about it, telling them not to worry, nothing would come of it, and she knew from experience. Her husband is in the Joy.
All the while, after hearing the story, i was thinking one thing. He had three sheds to choose from. A big one, a middle size one and a small one. He choose the small one. Maybe it was just right?!;)

Nightshade

09-11-2007, 12:09 PM

:lol:
Whats the Joy?

Niamh

09-11-2007, 12:25 PM

mountjoy prison in Dublin. you can tell if someones been in the Joy because they generally end up getting a blue dove tattoo.
And for anyone whos not sure what i mean by a Traveller, they are tinkers.

Shalot

11-10-2007, 07:01 PM

crazefest456

11-11-2007, 01:26 AM

I'm sort of confused about what happened to me today...
So I was at an electronics store, and was getting something to drink from the cafe there. It was somewhat cold outside but it was fine inside, so I decided to get a coffee shake, just because I knew my brother has a hard time drinking hot coffee because he has sensitive teeth. So I asked the man for one, and he asked me to repeat it again, and so I did. I thought I wasn't speaking it right for him. So he repeated what I ordered, and I confirmed it with a yes. And then he went in the back and got the supplies, and came back to the front. He suddenly stopped and told me "you know, the coffee granita is cold" and I said "good"...I finally understood that he was trying to point out that it's weird to be drinking something cold in cold weather. Then his coworker came up and started talking, and he just commented, "yeah, she's ordering a coffee granita", and the lady replied the same thing-- all I could hear them say is coffee granita.
I thought I was going cuckoo..I mean, I was just paranoid after I stepped out of the cafe; i felt like everyone was staring at me and my shake, as if I released some biohazardous material into the store (not really)...I'm still lost, I really don't know what's wrong with buying something cold.

Niamh

11-11-2007, 04:39 PM

Well, I fell down in public. It was the most bizarre thing. I was stepping off the curb but I was walking too fast and I am not sure how it happened exactly but my foot sort of twisted and I fell forward on my knees and scraped them on the concrete. And I caught myself with my hand so my palm is scraped up too. I have not felt that sensation since elementary school. I had skinned knees all the time, but I forgot how much it hurt.

Anyway, it hurt a lot, but it was really funny because it happened so fast and I'm sure it looked totally absurd. I don't know why seeing someone fall is funny but it just is and my husband wasn't sure if i was laughing or crying so he didn't know how to react, but when he figured out I was laughing he busts up too. Now we're 1 for 1. He fell at the store once. Everybody falls. The important thing is that I didn't spill my iced tea. :nod:
:lol: That reminds me of the time i fell up the stairs in work in front of loads of passengers. I was so embarressed i just dashed up the stairs but in the end i did get far from the stairs as it appeared i was suddenly going in slow motion. Sprained my ankle. Even more unfortunate was that by the time i just couldnt move/ walk anymore and i was crying my eyes out, i was in the middle of a thoroughfare and all the passengers going down to the pier had to pass me.:p :blush:

I'm sort of confused about what happened to me today...
So I was at an electronics store, and was getting something to drink from the cafe there. It was somewhat cold outside but it was fine inside, so I decided to get a coffee shake, just because I knew my brother has a hard time drinking hot coffee because he has sensitive teeth. So I asked the man for one, and he asked me to repeat it again, and so I did. I thought I wasn't speaking it right for him. So he repeated what I ordered, and I confirmed it with a yes. And then he went in the back and got the supplies, and came back to the front. He suddenly stopped and told me "you know, the coffee granita is cold" and I said "good"...I finally understood that he was trying to point out that it's weird to be drinking something cold in cold weather. Then his coworker came up and started talking, and he just commented, "yeah, she's ordering a coffee granita", and the lady replied the same thing-- all I could hear them say is coffee granita.
I thought I was going cuckoo..I mean, I was just paranoid after I stepped out of the cafe; i felt like everyone was staring at me and my shake, as if I released some biohazardous material into the store (not really)...I'm still lost, I really don't know what's wrong with buying something cold.

Nobody complains when people buy hot drinks on hot days. its only a cold drink. Its not like you asked for an icecream.

Niamh

12-10-2007, 07:36 PM

It was such and odd day today. Was in our main shop in the duty free area and this guy from Israel pops up at the till and starts asking us if we had big skittles. Now the guy was very overly excited by skittles, had even explained how had become addicted to them during the three months he was i Ireland and that he couldnt get them in Israel. Now he did confuse us at first by asking for big skittles. "Not the little skittles, but the big ones!:D " Then myself and the other four girls in the shop realised he was on about big bags of skittles. Unfortunately we only had the small bags. He got very distraught, so i ended up having to ring another shop to see if they had them. He got very excited when one of the girls from B came into the shop with a few big bags and ended up purchasing three! It was just surreal! I'd never seen anyone get that excited over a sweet before. Had to share it with you guys!
http://i138.photobucket.com/albums/q268/niamhking/IMGP0509.jpg

Pensive

12-11-2007, 04:50 AM

Yes, I am afficted to sweets too. Especially Skittles, Mentoes (not sure about the spellings but I really love two of its flavours; mostly pink and then yellow). Oh and I love chocolates. Bounty, Snickers and Mars being my favourite. Dairy Milk chocolate is good too.

Life must be very difficult for me without any of these I guess.

papayahed

01-16-2008, 02:22 PM

This morning I had to go to a training class at a state park in a pretty rural area. So here we are driving down a two lane road and we had to stop because there were chickens crossing the road. I rolled down the window and asked them "why?" :p True Story (up until I rolled down the window).

Niamh

01-16-2008, 03:15 PM

:brow: oh but you should have Papaya!:D :p

Bakiryu

01-16-2008, 04:29 PM

This was just dumb.
There were these two guys screaming obscenities at each other (but in a friendly way) 'til one guy says "You motherf-er!" the other guy looks at him all serious, and then says "Don't worry, I'm adopted!" and begins laughing.

it was very amusing.

Niamh

01-16-2008, 04:45 PM

Lily Adams

01-16-2008, 05:01 PM

On monday i was working on the late shift, and seeing as my local bus service to santry is crap, i as usual headed to the station to get the DART. Everything was fine, felt like a normal day. Got off the DART at Connelly station and went to head for the bus station to get the airport express. Outside the Train station there are Outdoor escelators with a plastic cover over it to keep it dry from the rain. Yeah right! Stepped onto it and slipped down a step. I managed to grab the rail before fell on my arse, but still managed to wallop my right arm and leg. Lets just say i was completely mortified, quickly hopped up and got off as soon as i could. Got to the bus station and managed to get on a Airlink bus before it pulled off. Everything fine. Get to Airport and i stood up to make my way to the stairs to get to the lower deck of the bust to get off, bus jerks sideways, i fall into a seat area and bang my right leg (again) of the seat.
Lets just say i'm still nursing a sore arm, and a stiff leg that keeps cramping.

D: Owwwwww! I'm sorry. :(

Well, it wasn't too weird, but I was just walking to the library a few minutes ago and the wind was blowing and it was making my jacket swoosh so I pretended to be a superhero and my English teacher was right behind me and said, "Don't fly away!" And I said, "Maybe I want to!" and then he said, "How about those darned socks of yours?" Because earlier in English he was talking about the correct word for mending socks is to darn them. He thought I knew what it was because I sew but I never heard that before...

Anyways, I just loved that pun he said. :D

Shea

01-16-2008, 07:27 PM

Well, it wasn't too weird, but I was just walking to the library a few minutes ago and the wind was blowing and it was making my jacket swoosh so I pretended to be a superhero and my English teacher was right behind me and said, "Don't fly away!" And I said, "Maybe I want to!" and then he said, "How about those darned socks of yours?" Because earlier in English he was talking about the correct word for mending socks is to darn them. He thought I knew what it was because I sew but I never heard that before...

Anyways, I just loved that pun he said. :D

:lol: I tried to teach puns to my 10th graders. Most of them didn't understand.

Yesterday I saw a pick-up truck parked in the casino garage loaded with furniture. Maybe they thought the casino with take it in exchange for chips?

Lily Adams

01-17-2008, 12:17 AM

:lol: I tried to teach puns to my 10th graders. Most of them didn't understand.

Yesterday I saw a pick-up truck parked in the casino garage loaded with furniture. Maybe they thought the casino with take it in exchange for chips?

I love puns...tell me a pun and I'll like you.

Ha ha...

amanda_isabel

01-17-2008, 03:41 AM

my best friend was just asking me where the guy i'm eyeing was, and i asnwered. immediately my male best friend (to whom i wouldn't tell the identity of my crush) says, "amanda, i think i know!!!" "what?" "is he.. a teacher?" "no..." "umm-hmmm..." "no." "you're hiding something." "yeah i am, but not that."

Niamh

01-17-2008, 08:29 PM

Funny things happened while out for drinks for birthday, Tell you all tomorrow when more sober...

papayahed

01-17-2008, 08:58 PM

Funny things happened while out for drinks for birthday, Tell you all tomorrow when more sober...

Drunk posters are the best. Come on tell us now!!!!!:D

Shalot

01-17-2008, 09:24 PM

Funny things happened while out for drinks for birthday, Tell you all tomorrow when more sober...

yes yes, do tell now. we can all laugh and then you can edit it later :D

Shea

01-18-2008, 05:09 AM

I love puns...tell me a pun and I'll like you.

Ha ha...

The butcher accidentally backed up into his meat grinder. It caused him to get a little behind in his work.:lol:

Lily Adams

01-18-2008, 11:45 AM

The butcher accidentally backed up into his meat grinder. It caused him to get a little behind in his work.:lol:

:lol: Ewwwww!!!! XD

Niamh

01-18-2008, 02:10 PM

:lol: thats actually funny!:p

Okay. So i went out for a few drinks last night for my birthday. There was only four of us, but we had a good laugh. One of the new supervisors from work popped in for a few drinks and we all got chatting. my friend from work is a very intellegent you person but unfortunately some schools in Ireland dont make history and geography compulsory. We wer asking the new superviser from work about his girlfriend who is french canadian. My friend went to ask something then stopped herself and went to whisper it to her friend instead. Myself and the french superviser managed to hear what she said.
"Because she's french canadian, does that mean that france is beside canada?"
Well, we all pissed ourselves laughing. She is very funny and started laughing herself when we explained to her that canada was a french colony at one point hence french canadian. She took it all with a grain of salt. Shes great like that.:) Thats why we all love her.

Shea

01-18-2008, 07:54 PM

Okay. So i went out for a few drinks last night for my birthday. There was only four of us, but we had a good laugh. One of the new supervisors from work popped in for a few drinks and we all got chatting. my friend from work is a very intellegent you person but unfortunately some schools in Ireland dont make history and geography compulsory. We wer asking the new superviser from work about his girlfriend who is french canadian. My friend went to ask something then stopped herself and went to whisper it to her friend instead. Myself and the french superviser managed to hear what she said.
"Because she's french canadian, does that mean that france is beside canada?"
Well, we all pissed ourselves laughing. She is very funny and started laughing herself when we explained to her that canada was a french colony at one point hence french canadian. She took it all with a grain of salt. Shes great like that.:) Thats why we all love her.

:lol: :lol: :lol: That reminds me of the time my mom's supervisor once asked if they speak English in England.

Niamh

01-18-2008, 08:27 PM

:lol: :lol: :lol: That reminds me of the time my mom's supervisor once asked if they speak English in England.

:lol: Someone i know told me an american girls once said to her "I speak american not English.":p

Dori

01-18-2008, 08:50 PM

:lol: Someone i know told me an american girls once said to her "I speak american not English.":p

Americans say that all the time, at least all the ones I'm familiar with. I never really understood it. Of course the way we spell certain things (color = colour) and say certain things is different, but the language is still the same.

Niamh

01-18-2008, 08:52 PM

I think it had been during a discussion about languages and the Irish girl said, "Sure we speak english in Ireland same way you speak English in america." And that was the girls reply.

Dori

01-18-2008, 10:16 PM

I think it had been during a discussion about languages and the Irish girl said, "Sure we speak english in Ireland same way you speak English in america." And that was the girls reply.

Oh, I see. Still, I don't think I would have been surprised.

Lily Adams

01-19-2008, 12:05 AM

That was like when we watched The Wonderful World of Dung With Tony Robinson in Biology and my teacher said, "Now watch out this guy doesn't speak American."

:p Just a joke. :p

Nightshade

01-19-2008, 06:44 PM

Americans say that all the time, at least all the ones I'm familiar with. I never really understood it. Of course the way we spell certain things (color = colour) and say certain things is different, but the language is still the same.

I think it had been during a discussion about languages and the Irish girl said, "Sure we speak english in Ireland same way you speak English in america." And that was the girls reply.

Oh, I see. Still, I don't think I would have been surprised.

Humm you obviously havent been speaking to the english... one lectures went off in a rant last year about how we are in England so work should be presnted in English and that americinism were not exceptable... butt as someon poiinted out to him he teaches media sdtudies and Global media is dominated by Americinisms so its unavoidable... he still went ahead and marked down for them though...((g))

Anza

01-19-2008, 07:42 PM

I drank a whole pot of coffee

Shea

01-20-2008, 07:42 AM

I drank a whole pot of coffee

Why? Because of the rain? Not sure what part of Florida you're from, but it poured here yesterday. I love drinking cofee or hot tea when it's raining out.:)

"Hot tea" incidentally is one thing that I learned is a term neccessary to use in America if you want your tea hot. I'm so used to ordering it that way, that when I went to England and ordered "hot tea", the clerk gave me a look as if to say, "what other way does it come?"

Niamh

01-20-2008, 08:08 AM

"Hot tea" incidentally is one thing that I learned is a term neccessary to use in America if you want your tea hot. I'm so used to ordering it that way, that when I went to England and ordered "hot tea", the clerk gave me a look as if to say, "what other way does it come?"

:lol:
actually while we are on the topic of tea, what is the story with this half n half stuff you have in america?

Shea

01-20-2008, 08:14 AM

:lol:
actually while we are on the topic of tea, what is the story with this half n half stuff you have in america?

:lol: :lol: :lol: I think it's supposed to be half milk and half cream. I usually just call it creamer. When I was in Tralee, Ireland, I ordered coffee and asked for cream. What I got was so thick and heavy, it made my cofee froth up. It was really good, but not what I was expecting.

It's not very often that you meet an American that will put cream in their tea anyway. Most of them drink it iced. :sick:

Niamh

01-20-2008, 08:18 AM

Shea

01-20-2008, 08:31 AM

Cream in tea? :eek::lol: we put milk in ours, thats why a lot of irish and brits get fustrated when they go to the US because they get handed this half and half, and they have to ask for breakfast tea if the want a cup of tea similar to the tea we have here because your regular tea is different to ours...

Yeah, I don't know why our regular tea is so different. I'm curious now...

I play my harp every week at a tearoom, and by far, my favorite is one called "Paris". It's like Earl Grey (always a favorite), with a touch of Vanilla. Mmmm, I play again today, I think I'll have a cup of it.:p No milk or cream though. I never put cream in any flavored tea.

Niamh

01-20-2008, 08:36 AM

no you are not ment to put any milk or cream into flavoured teas as it is. Twinings do a lovely Spearmint and nettle tea...

Shea

01-20-2008, 08:39 AM

oooh, I love mint teas. Never had that one though. A few stores carry Twinnings, I'll have to look for it.

What about sugar? I never use sugar in any tea at all, but I guess some people do. I feel like it overpowers the tea flavor.

Niamh

01-20-2008, 08:44 AM

A tea spoon of sugar sweetens tea. Its not bad.I'd only put it in ordinary tea if in need an energy boost!

Anza

01-20-2008, 10:56 AM

Nightshade

01-20-2008, 06:38 PM

Wait wait different tea? how?
one of my friends doesnt really drink tea but has a box for guests, I havent the heart to tell her it tastes like the inside of a kettle but somehow I always forget and ask for tea and then have to gulp it down and preend its just Ive forgotten what earl grey tastes like when I invloentarily pull a face.
*sigh*

Shea

01-21-2008, 04:58 AM

Yes, because of the rain and cold. I usually drink tea (even though I'm southern, I LOVE it hot). I'm in Tallahassee. What about you?
I put milk and a 1/2 teaspoon of orange blossom honey in my tea, Earl Grey, of course.

I'm in Tampa. I'd rather drink my tea hot even on a hot day (which finally isn't the case lately). The only time I ever want to sweeten my tea is when I have a sore throat. That's when I put honey in it. And orange blossom is the best! The tearoom was out of Paris tea though:bawling: :bawling: . So I had to settle for an alternative.

*Classic*Charm*

01-21-2008, 10:35 PM

they have to ask for breakfast tea if the want a cup of tea similar to the tea we have here because your regular tea is different to ours...

That's true. if you ask for a cup of tea in North America (I'm from Canada) you get Orange Pekoe, which is kind of bland. You can order English or irish breakfast teas though. I'm partial to Chai or Lady Grey myself. (I love tea:D )

Oh, and I have no idea about the half and half thing. Maybe that's just American, because Canadians put Milk in tea.

Shea

01-22-2008, 03:01 PM

Oh, and I have no idea about the half and half thing. Maybe that's just American, because Canadians put Milk in tea.

That could be just a 'me' thing. Most Americans drink their tea iced actually.:sick:

papayahed

04-07-2008, 08:03 PM

I was riding my bicycle on the path, a jogger was coming in the opposite direction about 30 feet in front of me. A squirrel darts out right infront of the jogger and trips him up, the jogger didn't fall but both him and the sqirrel were freaked out. Pretty funny.

Nightshade

07-04-2008, 05:29 PM

Remeber the other day we were talking about this ?
http://www.jaunted.com/files/3/borat_cannes_2.jpg

Oh yeah, it's super hot!! :lol: :p

Not every guy can pull that look off you know, he's really something special. ;)

I am sure it is.. although the color is a bit more disturbing. lol.

Well, again, not every man can pull off that color. :nod:

Are you guys laughing at the bathing suit? Yeah I thought it was funny too. Now if I go to the beach this summer and see someone with one of those I'm going to not be able to hold back my laughter. :lol:

oops, sorry for entering the girls thread. *slinks off*

Well Guess what I saw today? No really! Honestly in the middle of Prague in front of the museum of African, American Indian and Australian Oceanic cultures. was this group of loud drunk people mostly men in their Im going to say mid 20s- 30s and they were all shirtless and ad writen all over themselves in pens and this one older man possibly in his 50s or 60s and he was in the Borat suit!!

:eek2:
:goof:
All I could think was I wish the litnet could see this! :lol:

Niamh

07-04-2008, 06:07 PM

http://i138.photobucket.com/albums/q268/niamhking/smilies/z7shysterical.gif OH DEAR GOD!!!!!!!!!!!! http://i138.photobucket.com/albums/q268/niamhking/smilies/z7shysterical.gif

Actually this reminded me of a funny thing i saw in work today. :p
I was queuing at the International Currency Exchange (ICE) to get change for one of the shops today, when i was distracted by this odd noise heading in my immediate direction towards Pier B. So I decided to look around and almost pissed myself laughing...
As you all know i work in the Airport, and like all major Airports, we have our own Police, firebrigade, Ambulance etc. Part of the job for Airport police is to patrol the piers and make sure no one is doing things they shouldnt be doing! Now Dublin airport is expanding big time. It can take over 20- 30 mins for me to walk from our pier c shop to our old TFL D shop at the other end of the airport. We are always moaning that DAA have done things arseways in the airport and should have set up some kind of light rail of shutle bus service from the main terminal to the pier D, as it is an atrociously labourious walk and definitely NOT pensioner and reduced mobility friendly. Like us, the Airport Police had obviously got annoyed that if they were down in C and a call came in for them to go to D they may not get down in time for the alert (say an idiot smoking in the toilets) and to find a way of getting there faster. So their solution is what had me in stitches...
... two airport police officers...on Segways!:lol:

Scheherazade

07-04-2008, 06:11 PM

I love Segways! Gonna buy me one when I grow up!

Niamh

07-04-2008, 06:22 PM

:lol: dont know why anyone would want one! and they are so expensive. cost about €5500!!! :eek: thats a lot of money to go 15 mph. get a car for that!

Scheherazade

07-04-2008, 06:26 PM

Well, you can ride a car in an airport to begin with... And I like picturing myself riding a Segway instead of hopping in a Zimmer frame!

Nightshade

07-04-2008, 06:36 PM

Well, you can ride a car in an airport to begin with... And I like picturing myself riding a Segway instead of hopping in a Zimmer frame!

But then you can have a zimmer frame race!!

Scheherazade

07-04-2008, 06:44 PM

But then you can have a zimmer frame race!!I already do that! And could I also add that I am rather nimble with the frame?

Niamh

07-04-2008, 06:55 PM

how about Rollerskates!!!!! :D

Scheherazade

07-04-2008, 06:58 PM

At my age, you need to shoot me from an elastic band for me to be able to go any distance with those!

Nightshade

07-04-2008, 06:59 PM

No no you take a pair of stilts and use them to push yourself along!

:nod:

Niamh

07-04-2008, 07:03 PM

Aww poor Scher! how about one of these? ;)
http://i138.photobucket.com/albums/q268/niamhking/power_chair_jazzy_1170xlplus_detail.jpg

Scheherazade

07-04-2008, 07:04 PM

I want a Segway!!!

Nightshade

07-04-2008, 07:06 PM

Well you cant have one! you have to leave something fun for the young people. :p
On a more annoying note, I might be going on one of those!-- If I starve myself for the rest of my stay here so I can afford it ...:D

Niamh

07-04-2008, 07:08 PM

okay okay! you win! Just for you!
http://i136.photobucket.com/albums/q182/freeze_lemon635/Segway.jpg

Scheherazade

07-04-2008, 07:14 PM

On a more annoying note, I might be going on one of those![/SIZE]What? Rollerskates or Niamh's electric wheel chair?

:D
okay okay! you win! Just for you!
http://i136.photobucket.com/albums/q182/freeze_lemon635/Segway.jpgThank you!

Nightshade

07-04-2008, 07:14 PM

http://i136.photobucket.com/albums/q182/freeze_lemon635/Segway.jpg

Not any more! Ive stolen it and youll never catch me now !!! MWwwwwwahahaha *choke**cough**gasp*
Now where shall I go on my shiny new toy?

Niamh

07-05-2008, 12:01 PM

:eek2: Nightie! dont be so mean! give that back! :p

Scheherazade

07-05-2008, 12:08 PM

Is anyone else sensing a pattern here?

Niamh

07-05-2008, 12:10 PM

yes! Nightshade has revealed herself as teh litnet thief! :eek:

Nightshade

07-05-2008, 12:14 PM

humm I Prefer the term the acquirer of all things smile inducing, and cataloguer archivist of all smilies (which FYI are already mine :p) oh and king of the hill but thats another story!
:lol:

Niamh

07-05-2008, 12:16 PM

okay, if you are the aquirer of all smilies, explain the segway? last time i checked that wasnt a smilie. ;)

Nightshade

07-05-2008, 12:19 PM

They make me smile!

:lol: and want to do this
http://img368.imageshack.us/img368/1484/dancingpenguins3382ry5.gif

Niamh

07-05-2008, 12:26 PM

They make me smile!

:lol: and want to do this
http://img368.imageshack.us/img368/1484/dancingpenguins3382ry5.gif

:lol: you stole the penguins!!!!!

Nightshade

07-05-2008, 12:29 PM

Well she shouldnt have left them lying around!

:nod:

Niamh

08-01-2008, 05:19 PM

I forgot to write this a couple of weeks ago.
Around about thursday two weeks ago, i was on a late shift in work. It was getting close to closing time and i walked into one of our shops to see how it looked.
One of the girls had been down in the kids section tidying the books when she discovered tucked behind a couple of books a letter. It was marked as "The Secret Letter" and addressed to two people. Curious, she opened the letter and read it. When i walked in she came over to a few of us laughing and handed me the letter. It was very funny indead! It started off with "hello Lily and Sam? Arent you surprised to find this! If this isnt them but some random stranger who pick up the letter and perved, hello!" the letter continued in a similar fashion and reminded me alot of Daddy Long Legs by Jean Webster. It even included pictures. Aparently she was off to france for the summer, and the friends she had left the letter for were going to spain. Accepting her geograhy wasnt very good, she decided to draw a map of where france was compared to Spain. France was below spain according to the letter. It also cantained all the fun things she was intending to do and how the legal age to buy wine in france was 16. The letter was just hilarious!
The randomness of the letter was what really made it funny. This kid could be such and entertaining writer when they grow up. I wonder if they realise it.....

Bakiryu

08-01-2008, 08:03 PM

Ok this happened a while ago and maybe it's only funny to me.

I was at Drama club and my drama teacher was talking. But nobody was really paying attention. Suddenly she says loudly: "To those who weren't listening, if you want to join The National Lesbian Society you have to pay 6 dollars. Raise your hand if you have the money"

Everybody gets really quiet.
Suddenly all they guys raise their hands and somebody says "I wanna be a lesbian!"

:lol: methinks she meant to said Thespian :lol:

Niamh

08-02-2008, 05:45 AM

wilbur lim

08-02-2008, 11:11 AM

What is happenning around here?It seems as if we are in a pandemonium!

kilted exile

01-14-2009, 07:50 PM

Ok, so the town I am in just now has a reasonable mennonite population in the surrounding areas. Also as some of you know I am the recieving/warehouse manager for a retail store & I am in charge of deliveries coming into the store.

Today, a mennonite hooked his horse and buggy up to the railing beside the warehouse truck doors. I had to go searching through the store for the guy to move it so the truck could get in.

Virgil

01-14-2009, 07:52 PM

Weisinheimer

01-15-2009, 12:29 AM

papayahed

01-17-2009, 06:13 PM

ok, so ya'll know how I think this is a podunk town, right? Well this afternoon I went to Target to get some school supplies. They really didn't have much and what they did have was pretty crappy (All I wanted for pete's sake was a binder, loose leaf paper, and notecards). I was driving home thinking what a crappy town I live in when I got pulled over by Barney Fife. I was pulled over because my yearly inspection sticker was expired. Which I realize is a valid reason to pull me over, but I was still cranky from the dismal shopping excursion. However, the officer (and I use the term loosy) made me get out of my car and stand infront of his where the camera could see me. He told me why he pulled me over and asked for the usual. I got all the paperwork for him and he went to his car to write the ticket I started to walk back to my car and he told me I had to stay infront of his car on camera. WTF??? you mean I'm suppossed to stand in the street infront of a police car? while the jack rabbit writes my ticket inside his car???

I was standing there like a jack *** so I waved to the camera and did a little dance, after that I started to get annoyed then really mad. I've gotten countless tickets in at least 5 states and never had I had to stand in front of the car like that. The officer me it was for his protection, what if i had a weapon in the car? However, after checking my license, registration, and insurance and finding everything in order and no criminal record whatsoever wouldn't it be a safe bet that I was not going to pull out a gun over a piddly inspection ticket??

I'm sure the officer wasn't to pleased with me since I was pretty much laughing at the ridiculousness of the situation, I was pretty close to calling him the p word.

Now back to the ticket - My inspection tag expired last august. It has to be renewed every year for $10. Heaven knows how much this ticket is going to cost and I have no good reason for not renewing it. Do I have a subconcsious need to interact with the police? But that can't be I just had the police out to work...hmmmm.

motherhubbard

01-17-2009, 08:06 PM

Papaya, I think you should try doing all of your driving in a push up and low cut shirt!

Shalot

01-17-2009, 08:38 PM

Niamh

02-15-2009, 04:03 PM

Okay so i went away for the weekend with my friends to Dundalk. I spent a year and a half there in college and lived there on two other occasions with Archaeology, so it was a real nostalgia trip!
So get this right...its the end of the pub crawl and we went back to the hotel for last orders. I have a nasty habit called smoking, and on the two occasions i went out to the smoking area, i returned to my friends laughing. Why? Because as usual i attract the weirdos.
Smoke break no 1. Went out to smoking area and some guy comes over to me ands goes "Hello. I'm studying to be a psychiatrist and i'm focusing on people beween the ages of 15 and 20 who have problems. I reckon you probably have problems." My response in my head was 'wtf?', my response aloud was..."Well i'm sorry but i'm twenty six." He stared down at me shocked and went "you're twenty six?" i went "yes". He responded with "well then you definitely have problems" and walked off?????? I mean what the hell??? :lol:
Smoke break no.2. Went out to smoking area and there was this group of forty somethings laughing and joking. One of the blokes turns around to me and out of nowhere starts to tell me that one of the women doesnt smoke and that she is only outside to fart. He then started asking me if i fart??? Like hello!!!!! wtf! The to top it all off, one of his friends turns around to me and goes. "you're french arent ya?" I was like "no...i'm irish. I'm from dublin."
"really i though you were french." I asked her why she thought that (especially seeing as a dublin accent is a dead give away that i'm NOT french) and she told me i 'looked' french?:confused: The she went "But the bloke you are with inside, he french though isnt he?" I looked at her trying not to laugh and replied... "Eh no. He is also a dubliner." Lets just say i didnt go back to the smoking area after that! lol!:lol:

joseph90ie

02-15-2009, 04:13 PM

hmm...that's strange alright. But hey, on the upside, at least people were making communication. For that reason alone, I think I'll take up smoking. I bet it'll make me appear relaxed and...smokey, so to speak - a hazy mysteriousness, after I get over the initial coughing and fuming. - I'll practice in a far away field first. Yeah, I'll look like Mrs Robinson in the graduate, after you make the necessary changes.

It's a pity to see how, when people are so eager to break the ice, they can be so clumsy and even stumble onto an unintended insult. I suppose laughter is the best response, the only humane one, otherwise you'd be inflicting cigarette burns!

Niamh

02-15-2009, 04:22 PM

:lol: Well the "problems" guy had me in stitches when i went back inside. Seriously. If that was a chat up line it was the worst one i have ever heard. What did he expect me to tell him my problems so he could comfort me?

joseph90ie

02-15-2009, 04:41 PM

it's funny, you say: wtf? response in your head, and then, well i'm sorry, but i'm 26. lol - reminds me of the quote i've heard attributed to Freud, 'the moment between the impulse and the act, civilization is born' - though I don't think i've remembered that accurately.

Niamh

02-15-2009, 04:43 PM

Well i assumed he (being only about 21) thought i was somewhere in the 15-20 age group so i wanted to let him down. The Minute he heard what age i was and made his little comment he was gone. Alas! i was probably too old for him. ;)

Schokokeks

02-15-2009, 05:13 PM

:lol::lol::lol: Thanx for sharing those episodes, Niamh, that made my day :lol::lol:

But I think all these people were really very desperate to pay you a compliment for (a) looking as fabulous as normally only 20-year-olds can, and (b) being stylishly dressed, which in popular opinion the French are often credited with :).

I have a nasty habit called smoking, and on the two occasions i went out to the smoking area, i returned to my friends laughing. Why? Because as usual i attract the weirdos.

My conclusion would be that obviously only weird people smoke ;).

Niamh

02-15-2009, 05:57 PM

:lol::lol::lol: Thanx for sharing those episodes, Niamh, that made my day :lol::lol:

But I think all these people were really very desperate to pay you a compliment for (a) looking as fabulous as normally only 20-year-olds can, and (b) being stylishly dressed, which in popular opinion the French are often credited with :).
cheers!

My conclusion would be that obviously only weird people smoke ;).

Hey i know i'm weird. I'll admit that!

Joreads

02-15-2009, 11:17 PM

Niamh

02-17-2009, 04:05 PM

No not old to mature - it is all in the spin Niamh :lol:

:lol::lol:

Nightshade

03-02-2009, 02:26 AM

Well this wasn’t today it was Thursday and so far only my mum and I have been the only people to find this quite so hysterically funny but I think that must be because I haven’t been telling it right so here it goes this is me telling it right and form the beginning.
_------------------------------------------
So Thursday was gloomy and grey nothing new to Manchester but UI had just had enough you know? So I decided I need cheering up ( that and the fact that my normal cloths hadn’t dried ) I pulled out the summer clothes a hot pink tunic top over jeans with a purply pinkish thread a turquoise ‘body’ ( long sleeved t-shirt thing great for accesoriing with short sleeved things to make them hijab friendly without being bulky ) and a turquoise head scarf.

But I didnt feel like breakfast so I didn’t have any I just had a cup of tea ( first or possibly second mistak of the day especially when you chronic heartburn or acid reflux or whatever you want to call it) So I go to uni and indure a m,ind numbing lecture on ..you know I can’t even remember what it was about ...wait its coming back data log mining to evaluate userbilities and other fiunctionality features of a digital library. Mostly I was thinking about how to get hold of the books and info I needed for ,my next essay on Reader Development initiatives ( sadly not the intrtesting part of reader development istead I get to evaluate the role of paterships in recent initiatives oh what rapturous joy! Then the hearburn starts, and I don’t have enough money on me to buy a sandwhich to do some emergency fixing, and Im all out of pills.

So to cut a rTather long storey short ( or rather to skip to the intresting bit) I almost lose a tenner when the wind snatches my money out the ATM and Im forced to dash round the corner and into a busy street shout cursewords , not terribly bad ones, not even ones I would really consioder swear words but people do consider them that . Then I head to boots get my meal deal (flafel flat bread , vegetable crisps and raspberry and orange juince...yummm) and my extra strong gavescone. Then I get to the big central library head into the little general readers library have a quick shuffle find more paranormal romancy books I haven’t examined for the work project and another romance that might fit the criteria for the quest of discovering a ‘no sex’ mills and boons suitable for a 13 year old. I bump into my house mate (who is also my coursemate and sat beside me in the same lecture but she took the bus and I walked) tell her I will be in the library until 430 as will be working ion my essay in the social sicence library (* must see for visitor to Manchester FYI) after I have had my lunck downstairs in the caffetreia.

So I go down stairs.
From this point anything in italics is what is going through my head.

Unfortunaly I have overlooked the fact that its lunchtime and so its packed the only free seating area is the joint bar thing they recently installed around one of the pillars so I head over there dump my bag ( since all my valuables are in my coat pocket and go buy myself a pot of tea. Then I go back to my seat settle down smile at the lady sitting just round the corner ( its a square pillar) Hello lady guess what you could be fifth elment and I might not even know it pretty wierd huh? take 2 pills bite into my gorgeous sandwhich and get the silly happy look I get on my face when I have a decent cup of teaq and have been or am being fed. I am also trying to thumb through some of the romances to get a feel of them so I don’t have to take them home and weigh down my bag and going over the essay in my mind .

“excuse me, are these yours?” I drag myself away from the last bite of my sandwhich and look up there is this guy standing there “huh?” He points at some promotional leaflets for the library theatre that are beside my cup of tea that were eirher put there on purtpose or left by the person before me. “ oh no they aren’t mine help yourself” turn back to the important business of eating so I can have more of those lovely pills and to do anything to stop the heart burn ( the answer is not to mkiss breakfast after having a partically acidic dinner the night before and to always makesure I have suitable food and pills on me but hhey we all make mistakes) Sandwhich finished first cup of tea finished and packet of crispuis opened

“Excuse me “ blaaaaah its you again how hard is ity to get a bit of peace this is a LIBRARY!”
And because I wasnty really thinking about anything I accidently slipped into night ( uber friendly persona) in RL so my library customer smile came out (what can I say its the environment I switch into work mode as yyou will se in a second)

“ Are you here for the theatre or the library “ and he points at the board OH NOOO a surey how annoying go away and pesetr someone else...oh right I am also doing the same thing. So I actually swuing around in the chair fit the freidnly smile on tighter and say no Im here for the library. Guy:“ are you a student “
Me: “yes”
G: what are you studying?
Me : librarianship
G:oh *pause* is it like a fulltime course?
Me: yes.
He looks like he is going to kleave so I turn back to my beautiful up of tea...
G: Do you know Manchester Oh for petes sake already. GO AWAY I want my tea!!!
M:yes?
G: I am trying to find an art gallery , i saw it with my friend but I heard about it and its supposed to have these really great pictures. I Know the one by the Italian coffee shop but that snot the one
I knew that wasn’t a manccuinian accent, mentally bangs head against wall, I don’t even work here anbd there is a great big fat infopoint upstairs conviently placed right by the door *sigh* men useless creatures

M:Well I don’t know many and I don’t have my maps on me but there is an info point upstairs

G: keeps rambling on about art.

M swings around more: Ok look Im deaf in one ear so what was that? ( it was cold and my dodgy ear tends to not like the cold!)

G: more rambling about moving art

*sigh* I bet you are one of those wierd muslims who only talk to muslims right? And thats why you wont go ask the nice lady upstairs but instead have to ask the obviously muslim person stuipid headscarf... stupid bigoted people... just don’t call me Sister( its a tendancy people have that grates on my nerves I can get saying it to be overly polite in ceratin situations but when it gets thrown about by somoen I don’t know every other word I tend to snap and say something like Im not your bloody sister so don’t call me that)

M: ok There is the Mnachester art gallery by china town, the whitworth art gallery which has a display of subversive art ( stumble abit on that word the dyslexia decide to play one of its oral trickjs and I couldn’t get the word out straingt)

G: Ohh intgresting .

Me: yes, its in rushohok,me opposite the MRI if you get any of the buses down to fallowfield you cant missit . The corner house which you cant miss just go do the road from the formnt ofthe library its the second or third junction? The onestaridght after macdonalds , has an art gallery uipstairs, there are plenty more but I sdont know them. The info point upstairs has maps and the woman at the desk will be happy to help you....

G: what do you like to read ?
ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh I wonder where that accent is from and ( ok not proud of the sterotype but need to take a sec here to explain the guy had that effeminate pitch of voice setryotypically protayed in the media as a sign of homosexuality do gay people give off the opposite kind of pheromones to hereosexual people of their own sex? So that they can attract their own sex... hum intersuiting questing night go look at the GLBT display ( its gay pride month or something not sure but there is a massive display on books on the topic in central library this month) and that reminds me must look up again in more credible literature the idea of race being distinguishable by voice.

Me ( stupid customer smile still in place , I just cant be rude to someone asking me for help in a library Ive been working in them too long!) Me? Oh I like to read anything give me a book and I will be happy . *somewhat pointed look at the books siting beside my bottle of juice abandoned packet of crisps and fastly cooling cup of tea. But the guy didn’t take the hint*

G: I read a book too . my my aren’t ytou a clever one narroiw menta eyes but I mostly like to excersise my brain with ruibix cubes and chess and things like that.
Me ( and the only excuse I have for this is it was the fun pbit of the essay and its what I do to anyone I meet who snears ant books, Ive even cornered people on trains who have been having loud conversations about this book they read but name they couldn’t remember, if Ive know what it is and told them the name the author and if Ive known it recited the sequels and mention oh so casualy that they can get them for FREE in the library, what can i say perhaps I love my job just that wee bit too much!) : You do know that reading is the best excersise for your brain? There was this docutm,etary on it 2 weeks ago on Monday, very good documentary and I looked it up. When you read you use more of your brain than for any other excersise, especially if you read fiction. Reading you see uses various areas of your brain ( and being my fathers daughter I enthusiastically plough into the scienbce of the brain and the various changes to chemical that happens .
because hey you just got me started on my current pet topic you should have left me when you had the chance I round off with) and they are evenm using reading to cure mild depression and other mental disordirs its called bibliotherapay.... ( I was well into my element and once I get started oin a topic Im enthusitic about well the usal RL me fades aaway and night comes out )

When Ive stoiped to answer some of the guys questions ( I hanmdilky have about a kilos worth of research papers on the toipic in my bag.. I was supposed to be working on the esaay remember) I realise the guy has sat down sort of but not quitenext to/opposite me..

huh? Ohoh what am I dong doing all this taklking and whay are you talking to me ? OMG someone is going to snak up on me and staela my purses from doat pocket even though this places is packed, no BECAUSE this place is packed , I forgoit to put them in the bag and the coat is just hanging over the back of the chair. Well you just watch it mister * as leans over to oh so subtely pull cota pocket onto lap* I am not paying lots of attention to what you look like and the minute you leave I am heading staright for thiose nice guys in security or maybe Il just scream now...
( might take a moment to put here that the guy is about 24ish, of aisian ( and I mean that in the british sence not teh American one) descent and tolerably good looking , in that way most people are. Fairly normal looking.
Guy: Oh that is so intresting I didn’t know that but I work for the MOD IT INtell and they like you to excersise your brain with chess and things like that .

pull the other one sunshine, just to fill in an application form for the IT intel people you have to sign an agreement to say you wont disclose to anyone that you are applying for them and I know this because I almost did apply for a similar outfit last week but decided that I couldnt be bothered with a coplex 20 page apoplication form plus living in London on a piitance and having to wait on tenderhooks for 6 months before I could even start to work waiting for the DV to clearwhich giving my ethnicity and religion may verywell be denined HA! Whatever you want to say

But I couldn’t leave it alone

Me: Yes but reading fiction is the best way to excersise ytour mind.. oh never mind.
Opens bottle of juice and starts that having finished the tea. go away now sonny jim so I can take more of my tablets in peace

G: How many friend s do you have?
what kind of weirdo question is that? How many friends do you have? Weirdo!

Me: uhh I don’t know ...lots?

G: Of course you do ytou are such an itresting person.

Me: huh? Uhh thankyou..?
At this point lady round the corner ( the one I thought might be fifth , what she was friendly looking) snorts with laughter and it suddenly hits me...
OMG, O my flying pickled bananas you are not trying to rob me you are chatting me up... I am being chat up, how freaky.. wait thisis alibray, only I could get chat up in alibrary... wait who trys to chat up someone without asking their name? Nah.. just my imagination, got to be my imagination , why would anyone chat me up wierd!
He then introduced himself... and he did have a muslim name.
Then it came ....

Do you have a boyfriend?

OH MY FLYING PICKLED BANANAS! I AM BEING CHAT UP!!! ok night must control myself no laughing in the guys face .. but this is hysterical, bizarre .. oh you poor person of all the people to try anc chat up... inner night is falling off her chair and rolling round the floor LHAO ... and I am feeling the almost irresistible urge to go “hold up holdup hold up is this you chatting me up? Cool you can carry on this is temporarily amusing me” . and this is something I am very proud of I did resist both urges though it was difficult. must start taking notes sure this will make niamh laugh. And hey aimus isn’t around anymore enough to tell me off for finding these things so vastly amusing s o I can ost it in my blog.. hum of maybe a funny thing happened on the way to the forum...hummm oh and hey sister( she would kill me if I used her name on the tinterwebs) must be wrong apparently this scraff doesn’t make me look green I knew she just wanted it for herself!
But then it all got akward when after explaining that the reason that I didn’t have aboyfirend despite being a anobviouls intresting and nice person ( not my words) was I hadn’t the time or energy or inclination to deal with the associated drama of it all. ( I wouldn’t have said as much except the guy was like a bouncy 5 year old going Tell me tell me tell me tell me ! and I really wasn’t up to thinking up a more creative answer. Anyway the guy tried telling be I was really an arrogant person ( he seemed to think this was a compliment, ) this was a good thing because it mean I was someone who knew my own mind and what I wanted... and he went on again with the comlpliments buut now I was annoyed, and running out oif time. So Ijumped off my seat did an oh look at the time Id love to stay and chat but there is a 3,000 word essay just screaming my name. Goodbye and good luck.
And I dashed up 2 floors to the safety of the siocail sciences library. With excellent timing because though the books I needed weren’t available a member of staff lent me her copies of the books so alls well.
-------------------------------------
A couple of things to note Ive skipped swathes of converstatoion disccsuing the exact werabouts of the manchester art gallery , and the URBIS and other such boring stuff.Also Im sure he did alot more rambling when I got distracted by the pretty ring he had, and let my mind wonder for wa hwile while appearing to listen ( lovley trick i picked up working in libraries- I can even conrtribute to most coonverstaions intelligently while not paying any attention at all!) . Also I wasnt planming on appluying for the MOD but like I said completly differenmt lawinforcement organisation, as librarian/information officer, but like I said tooo much paper work

But lessons to be learnt:
1) I am really growing up I did not freak out, run away screaming, start hearing the words white slavery white slavery white slavery in my mind or tell the guy he was doomed to rot in eternal hell . ( I was 14 and surprised and the guys in my school used to play this nasty game where they would tell the girls they liked them then laugh at them and point fingers and in Egypt dating is still very much rocky territory for a girls reputation and a girls reputation is what get her married when push comes to shove. And it was the middle of an English exam revision class. Turns out he wasn’t in the joke and I kind of feel bad about that one.)
2) I cottoned on before a) the guy has turnbed around and gone hold up you don’t understand me do you. And it still not till half an hour later I realised what actually happened. And b) the guy didn’t practically propose marriage ( seruiously I just want a good muslim wife!) for me to realise what was going on.
3) I am actually flattered which is different to say the least.
4) Arrogant is never ever a compliment all males be warned.

And speakling of 3000 word essays this iswell over 3,100 words long.. and has taken me early and hour and a half to type and is 6 pages of a word document. and no i havent spell checked I cant be bothered! :D

Niamh

03-02-2009, 06:56 AM

PMSL :lol: :lol:

zanna

03-05-2009, 12:38 PM

Oh boy, Night! That is a great story! You are a cool and interesting person, and I bet if I was a guy, I would be tempted to chat you up, too. =)

Kudos for being nice to him, lol, and not just running away! =)

kilted exile

03-10-2009, 06:05 PM

papayahed

03-10-2009, 06:17 PM

Nightshade

03-10-2009, 06:27 PM

:lol:
On saterday we had someone put a library card in the floppydisc drive because he thought that was how you logged into the computer, I think its still there because we have to get someone from admin to turn up with paddlock key so we can take the case off the pc and get the card out...:rolleyes:
:D

kilted exile

03-10-2009, 06:33 PM

yes, he got the dvd's back - they were erm sticky

Scheherazade

03-10-2009, 06:45 PM

A story from Friday.

A customer(old guy) returned a dvd player, wouldnt eject his dvds. So as usual if something is needing some minor fixing I got called. I take the back off the player to eject the dvd manually & it is porn - neither me nor the cashier could keep a straight face - the reason it wouldnt eject is because he had put volumes 1,2 & 3 into the player at the same time, not sure if he was trying to watch it in 3D or what :)Awww... Maybe he thought it would work like old record players on which you could put a few records and they would play them in order.

Yes, I said "record player"... For those of you who do not know what that is, here (http://colakid.files.wordpress.com/2008/08/record-player.jpg) is a picture!

:p

Niamh

03-11-2009, 05:44 PM

A story from Friday.

A customer(old guy) returned a dvd player, wouldnt eject his dvds. So as usual if something is needing some minor fixing I got called. I take the back off the player to eject the dvd manually & it is porn - neither me nor the cashier could keep a straight face - the reason it wouldnt eject is because he had put volumes 1,2 & 3 into the player at the same time, not sure if he was trying to watch it in 3D or what :)

I still think this is Hilarious! :lol:

:lol:
On saterday we had someone put a library card in the floppydisc drive because he thought that was how you logged into the computer, I think its still there because we have to get someone from admin to turn up with paddlock key so we can take the case off the pc and get the card out...:rolleyes:
:D
:lol:

Virgil

06-13-2009, 08:52 AM

Ok, Niamh suggested I put this in here. Poor fellow kind of distracted me on the way here one day, all because of Cluck-U chicken. Read about it in my blog: http://www.online-literature.com/forums/blog.php?b=8365. :D

kilted exile

06-23-2009, 07:39 PM

So as a lot of you know I am the recieving/warehouse manager of a retail store. One of my jobs is setting up display skids (pallets), so I was pulling an empty one on my manual forklift to the warehouse to set it up. (anyone familiar with moving skids will know when they are empty and raised on the forklift they move if you stand on them a little) All of a sudden an old guy (round 80) jumps on top of the skid whilst I am moving it & starts tap dancing! I am using all my strength to stop the skid from shaking about (cant lower the forks cos then he'd definitely fall off) thinking "I hope he doesnt fall, he'll fricking die & I'll get canned" seriously I expect this from little kids & teenagers but 80 year olds?

Virgil

06-23-2009, 10:03 PM

Hahaha, that's funny Kilt. What a picture I have in my mind. :D

Stargazer86

06-23-2009, 10:15 PM

Kilted- it sounds like you have some fiesty old people where you work :P

papayahed

06-21-2010, 10:15 PM

I was at the Doctor's office this morning minding my own business when I accidently looked up and the older lady across fromme asked how my book was, I responded that it was pretty good. Then she asked if it was about a Hispanic Lady to which I had to reply no. She then asked me what it was about. How was I supposed to explain "Lolita"???? To an older lady. In the middle of the Doctors office.

L.M. The Third

06-22-2010, 02:12 PM

How indeed, papaya? Did you try?

papayahed

06-22-2010, 03:05 PM

I told her it was about a pre-teen girl and she was satisfied with that answer so I left it at that.

L.M. The Third

06-24-2010, 11:27 PM

I told her it was about a pre-teen girl and she was satisfied with that answer so I left it at that.

Okay. "Tell all the truth, but tell it slant. Success in circuit lies."

Niamh

06-26-2010, 06:44 AM

sounds like a good explaination to me! :D

papayahed

07-11-2010, 10:19 PM

While cooking dinner tonight I was putting away some dishes and I dropped a bowl onto a brand new bottle of olive oil. The bowl was fine but the bottle broke spilling oil all over the counter. I thought it was going to be miserable to clean up but it wasn't bad. I would love to get new flatware but it's never going to happen if the damn bowls won't break!!

Niamh

07-12-2010, 01:16 PM

I went to take one of our mixing bowls out of the cupboard a few weeks back and it was in two halves, clean break! :eek: Its a mystery.

JuniperWoolf

07-12-2010, 05:37 PM

I got home on Saturday night, and my dad was having a work barbecue in the back yard. I was surprised to find my friend Tommy there, but apparently the purpose of the barbecue was a farewell to a co-worker of both my father's and Tommy's (they are both guards at the prison down the hill) and Tommy was invited. Tommy handed me a beer, and before I knew what was happening I was actually hanging out drinking and getting stoned with my father. My dad himself has always been a bit wild. I knew this, but we have never actually partied with each other before. I don't know if any of you have ever partied with your parents, but trust me, it is almost the most bizarre thing that you can experience. It was worlds in collision. I'm still a bit weirded out.

papayahed

07-14-2010, 10:17 PM

I decided to bicycle to the library to drop some books off. I got home from work and dug out a pair of shorts I hadn't worn in forever, they were light pink. Off I go to the library. I got home and as I passed the wall mirror (thoroughly discussed in these forums) I noticed that my black and purple underwear were clearly visibly through the shorts. :blush::ciappa: