Form Poem Contest

[chevalierdelame]

As it doesn't seem there will be any more entries, I'll close this round and declare the winner.

colb2- I liked your poem especially the lines
"Is it enough cause for concern
Should that feeling ever return"

YesNo- I found the imagery of your poem very interesting.

I think both poems conform to the form very well.
And I declare YesNo the winner for this round. The question and the answer, "Unconscious? Conscious, in its way," decided me.
Thanks

[YesNo]

Thank you, chevalierdelame!

The next form will be a limerick.

Deadline: June 18th.

[Dark Muse]

Twits on Twitter

You think you are such a great wit
but your Tweets just make you a twit
if only you weren't a fool
believing you are cool
but you really just sound like a chit.

[chevalierdelame]

Limerick

There was a young man who had to live
in a sealed coffin from nine to five,
when asked why he did it
he said, 'Don't be an eejit,
why else do I do it but to live?'

[oddball]

One there was a man from Lost Lake
Who complained to the law: "For Christ's sake!
If the monster doesn't exist
Then who the hell did all this?
How much does a man have to take!"

[mal4mac]

Horsing around

Rocinante got it on with a pony
Deaf to the pleas of Quixote
The owners beat them
"Don't do it again!"
But Rocinante ignored them, he's horny

[colb2]

Closed eyes, unable to see
Mind rampant, how to decree
Heart alone, so predictably
Stay strong, anticipate wishfully
Life's long, you're no detainee

[Pendragon]

Actually, this one is me. My account had problems, long story. Oddball no loner exists, it was just me, Pendragon, trying to figure out what I did with my password....


One there was a man from Lost Lake
Who complained to the law: "For Christ's sake!
If the monster doesn't exist
Then who the hell did all this?
How much does a man have to take!"

[cacian]

YesNo i think this one is up :)

[Pendragon]

BUMP!

A poet known to us as YesNo
Have you forgotten it's your turn to go?
This contest cannot be fudged
It's your turn to judge
May we expect closure in a day or so?

:wave:

[YesNo]

Sorry, I have lost track. I will have these ready by tomorrow.

[YesNo]

Sorry for the late response.

Dark Muse: I liked the "tweets" and the "twits" on the second line the best.

chevalierdelame: It made sense. If that's what he had to do, that's what he had to do.

oddball (aka Pendragon): Yeah, it must have been the monster.

mal4mac: I guess I can't blame Rocinante.

colb2: We are not detainees. The heart alone left me confused.



I enjoyed them all. Sorry again for the late response.

The winner is mal4mac!

Congratulations!

[Pendragon]

Congrats, mal4mac!

[mal4mac]

Thanks YesNo, and thanks to Cervantes for the inspiration.

I've just re-read Alice in Wonderland & Through the Looking Glass, so the form I want to see everyone have a go at is one stanza of a nonsense poem in the style of Jabberwocky:

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Jabberwocky

Here's my entry. Not really, just an example, it might be in the spirit of the work to vote for myself, but I will resist :hat:

"Smoothrighty"

'Twas hiffling, and the swifty cloves
Did jamp and jigger in the skein;
All slothly were the godoboves,
And the light sous verklein.

[mal4mac]

Beware the time limit, my sons and daughters! 8:58 am BST, 17 August is the deadline.

[Pendragon]

T'was evening and her painted toes
Did curl and straighten out again
Ah smoothly moved the passion's flow
And she moaned out loud again

[YesNo]

When evening scents the Mithal trees
To please the frickle nose of night,
With eager ease she wildeyed sees
The darkness through delight.

“Make haste and run away with me.
Your father feigntful wants us gone.
We’ll cross the Leewild Forest be
Away when dusk calls dawn.”

But she would not ride off with him
Though handly fair of husky form,
Though strongly slim, sweet Gildawim
Would not offend the norm.

“Ride now! The night is begging you.
The stilblink stars will shine till late.
And when we do, the Precids, too,
Will fantasize our fate.”

She hesitates behind the door
That firmly guards what’s in from harm
And on the floor the Shiftwindmor
Cries out in sly alarm:

“Beware the boy behind that man
Who calls you through that pretty face
Though pleasure can be wild....” She ran
And caught him through embrace.

When evening scents the Mithal trees
To please the frickle nose of night,
With eager ease she wildeyed sees
The darkness through delight.

[cacian]

twas a lily pythee
through raucous
crackled sythee
for a many whsitles lighty
blew to it tinets pierce full
errands gored
the sound was emit
but life stilled nothing was widdled.

[tailor STATELY]

Sand Between Me Toes / A Jabber Walk

The whalevyrne creach'd
whilst I combay'd the beach
O! What a geist and a tunder !
Krillsnax gave crush, to that
which had smitherto launch'd,
staggy'd a pace before gapey'd

7/31/2014

Ta ! (short for tarradiddle),
tailor STATELY

[mal4mac]

When evening scents the Mithal trees...


Off with your head, YesNo! ONE STANZA ONLY (I'll count your very pretty first stanza as your entry...)

[YesNo]

Ah! One stanza? I got carried away. There are many good ones in this contest. Nice choice of form, by the way.

[cacian]

what is the deadline for this contest?

[mal4mac]

what is the deadline for this contest?

How can poetry ever be dead? There is no deadline! On the other hand, it's today. Watch this space, or rather, don't, you'll go cross-eyed. Entries still accepted, until they're not. Check in later, and get the drinks in :hat:.

[mal4mac]

Trumpets parp! Here we have the results of the Jabberwocky competition!

"Well that question made no sense at all!" You say! Well spotted! So I will allow anything in the form of Jabberwocky, but not the style, and anything in the style of Jabberwocky, but not the form, and, as it's all nonsense anyway, anything else.

I liked all the poems, and think all should have prizes. But, as I don't want you fighting over who sets the next competition, I will choose a winner.

Pendragon - as befits our form-meister, this is perfectly in the form of Jabberwocky. But, as I had the Red Queen in mind, the poem is far from pretty. And the poor old dear has gout, so how can you expect all that straightening and curling? Also, do I detect a hint of eroticism? Poor old Lewis will spin in his grave if eroticism is rampant in his form. We can't have our leader gyrating in his coffin, so I'm afraid this verse must be consigned to the flames immediately.

YesNo - Didn't read the question, which shows extreme sense, and therefore a few marks knocked off for that. By not reading the question he created a whole poem in the style and form of Jabberwocky, rather than the one verse required. This is far too much excess work to impose on the examiner! But as I had the sense to just read the first verse, I didn't get too angry, so I'll allow the first verse as YesNo's entry. He remains in contention.

Cacian - As a dedicated judge, I kept a close eye on this thread (I've nothing else to do...) and spotted Cacian making a quick swop. Quite right! Her first poem was armful, and had a severe lack of nonce words. Her replacement is excellent, a wonderful, medieval epic poem of an angry flower surviving a long quest, and overcoming many difficulties.

tailor STATELY - This is a Jabberwocky for the Reservoir Dogs generation. It takes the violence inherent to Jabberwocky and lifts it to a whole new level. Whale-wolverine's screeching, the hero fighting a beach, and the author emitting a Hegelian sub-text. It's mayhem! What more could you want? Wonderful, emotion inspiring, nonce words - every time I see "Krillsnax" I feel peckish.

It's difficult to pick a winner, but I think Alice's criteria of "prettiness" forces me to choose..
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YesNo. The scent of the Mithal trees certainly pleases my frickle nose. So, YesNo, go to the Red Queen to be crowned. (Make sure to remind her that the "off with your head" order has been rescinded... and speak up, she's a bit deaf.)

[cacian]

haha malmac I have indeed made a swop :D
great feedback by the way thank you !
I very much enjoyed experimenting with this form it was a great idea :)

YesNo a well deserved win congratulations!!!

[Pendragon]

Thanks for nothing, mal4mac. Congrats YesNo on a fine win.

[YesNo]

Thank you, mal4mac! And thanks, cacian and Pendragon! That was a very fine review of the poems, mal4mac. Right up there with Lokasenna's.

The next form is one that mal4mac created as an entry in the avant-garde poetry contest:


Just put all your sentences on new lines.
Then you will always be writing poetry.
And that would be avant-garde.
I think.
At least I've never heard of anyone else doing that.
It would be a new thing in the world.
I'm not going to be doing this.
So you can have that idea for free.
Go run with it.

The formal constraints would be (1) each line ends with a period, (2) each line is a sentence.

Deadline September 1st.

[mal4mac]

Sentenced to inconsistency

I said I wouldn't be doing it.
I have never stuck to a plan.
I decide not to do it but do it.
It's a sentence that began with Adam.

Adam was a man without a plan.
Now for a plan I also don't plan.
I act on a whim without any stress.
But now my whim is to wear a dress.

I need to address my inconsistency.
I need to tie myself to a tree.
Tied to a tree I shall be free.
I shall be free of my inconsistency.

[Pendragon]

The inconsistencies of life sometimes bother me.
They say all things have a meaning.
The fault lies in us, that we cannot see the Big Picture.
It's just a shadow of a mirage reflected in a mirror.
It lacks shape and substance.
My interest wanes.

Ennui sets in quickly.
I lack sleep and focus.
Life is a moonlit sham without meaning.
We snap shots of our frustration in the dark without a flash.
To all things there is a season and a time.
The inconsistencies of life sometimes bother me.

The inconsistencies of life sometimes bother me.
An endless black ribbon takes us from life to death.
Rest stops along the way are strictly forbidden.
It's like alcohol diluted beyond any bite.
It gives no comfort.
It becomes worthless.

It's salt that has no savor.
Cast it away, it is fit for nothing.
Even space reaches a point where time means nothing.
We are taught to believe, and questions are unwanted.
Explanations never come,but he who seeks may find a solution.
The inconsistencies of life sometimes bother me.

Pendragon
(C) 8/18/2014

[YesNo]

This contest is now over. Thanks for the contributions!

mal4mac: I liked the theme of inconsistency and how being tied might make one free of it. This gives me something to think about.

Pendragon: Another one on inconsistency but from a different perspective. Being tied won't help in this case.

Thanks for the two perspectives on inconsistency and thanks to mal4mac for the form.

The winner is Pendragon!

Congratulations!

[Pendragon]

Thank you! The form is a reversible. Length doesn't really matter, but the poem must be able to read both directions. And make sense. Sample:

Allegory

Weakness seeking,
Ravenous wolves prowl—
Circling vultures hunting endlessly—
Show fear, you die quickly.
Thoughts become words become deeds.
Ignorance breeds prejudice breeds hate.
Pass and see me not time following time.
Your loss it is. Sing sorrow.
Mine was it never; neither gain nor loss…

Loss nor gain: Neither! Never was it mine!
Sorrow sing, your loss it is.
Time following time not see me and pass…
Hate breeds prejudice breeds ignorance!
Deeds become words become thoughts!
Quickly die you— fear show…
Endless hunting vultures circling!
Prowl, wolves, ravenous—
Seeking weakness…

Pendragon
© 3/17/2007 10:13 PM

October 15th deadline

[Dark Muse]

Moonlit Willows

Willows dancing
under ghostly moonlight,
sorrows unspoken
buried deeply within roots,
broken promises
whispered solemnly
beneath swaying limbs,
secrets sordid
veiled behind green leaves,
phantom lovers
weep
lovers phantom,
leaves green behind veiled
sordid secrets,
limbs swaying beneath
solemnly whispered
promises broken,
roots within deeply buried
unspoken sorrows
moonlight ghostly under
dancing willows.

[Pendragon]

Wow! Great start! 0o0

[Dark Muse]

Thank you

[YesNo]

In or out
Day or night
Win or pout
Stay and fight
Fight and stay
Pout or win
Night or day
Out or in

[ampoule]

In or out
Day or night
Win or pout
Stay and fight
Fight and stay
Pout or win
Night or day
Out or in

Wow! I like this.

[YesNo]

Thanks, ampoule!

[Pendragon]

I will extend the deadline five days since I have only two entries.

[Pendragon]

Dark Muse, that may be the best reversible I have evr read. Congrats, you win! Nice poem Yesno! Very close to call!

[Dark Muse]

Thank you very much

I will post the new form soon.

[Dark Muse]

Sorry for the delay I have been busy, but I have your next style now.

The next form isn't too complicated but it is one that I enjoy.

It is a Japanese form called a Choka which consists of alternating lines between 5 and 7 syllables. It can be any length but it should be an odd number of lines ending with an extra line of seven syllables.

Here is an example:

Autumnal Lovers

Your breath draws me in
drowning in your ocean eyes
consumed by your fire
taste of Autumn on your lips
drinking rain drops off your skin.

Deadline: Oct. 20th

[Pendragon]

Say--life must go on
Face the future--the past dies
Picking up pieces
Fitting the puzzle together
No echo looks like me
Makes you wonder why they say
Life has to go on...
But only death is certain...

[ampoule]

His twitching muscles
I can see them through his shirt
I want to smooth them
Stop their progression
Let them ripple against me
Their strength lifting me higher

ampoule, October Eleventh, TwoThousandFourteen

[ampoule]

More please.

[YesNo]

Tell me who you are.
Are you watching me as well?
We have come this far.
Have you anything to tell?
Let us rest and pause our spell.

[Dark Muse]

Thank you for the entrees everyone. All great pomes, it was not easy choosing a winner.

Pendragon: Very elegant with some lovely imagery. I really like how it feels cyclical, the ending returning back to the beginning. It has a nice since of completion, and yet the message is never ending.

YesNo: I like the concept of this one, questioning our reality and ourselves. It is thought provoking and leaves me with many questions of my own. It offers many possibilities.

And the winner is

Ampoule: This was beautifully written, and sensual, and I think it offers many different possible meanings, it brought several things to my mind while I was reading it. I like the subtly of it.

[ampoule]

Dark Muse....thank you so much. I enjoyed the form you chose.

Now, in looking for a form I used a long time ago, I ran across this one instead. I hope it hasn't been used before, but I, myself, am anxious to try it. I hope you are too.
It is called a Cleave Poem written in two columns. To read a Cleave Poem, read the left hand poem as a discrete poem, read the right hand poem as a second discrete poem, and then read the whole poem as a third integrated poem.

Here is an example of a Cleave Poem:

In Such a Place as This by Jessie Lafortune

even in this.............................................. godforsaken place
there is stirring evidence............................ of life, like
the frog who came..................................... just after the rain
and remains still........................................ clinging to the grass
the lizards........................................... ..... beating a path to safety
rustling in the grass................................... outside my door
the squirrels......................................... .... giving chase
playing tag............................................... recklessly
in the street............................................ . irrespective of cars
and then there is me................................. alive, barely
running in place....................................... depending on the day


You shouldn't have to put all those 'dots' in there, but I can't seem to figure out how to make two columns. ENJOY!

Deadline: November 15th

[Pendragon]

Philosophy 101

The Moon and the moonlight……………………………..They tear me apart
Shadows and shapes……………………………………………They torment me so
Swarms of forgotten memories…………………………..Pain unimaginable
Crowding around me…………………………………………..Dimming my view
Cold comfort they are…………………………………………Whispers and echoes
Speaking lies in hypocrisy…………………………………...Soiling my soul
Must rise again, fight the future………………………….Can I be redeemed?
It’s not how and when you fall……………………………It is getting up again!

Pendragon
Saturday, October 25, 2014

[Hawkman]

Tell me, traveller,....... what is it that you seek,
As you walk.............. beneath the polished moon
Snake-winding.......... through alluvial plains,
Amid tall grasses....... green and verdant
Fringed with seed,..... only to the sun;
How they flow,.......... diurnal nocturnes
Carried on the wind... that lodge in your locks,
Chasing thoughts...... like keys in pursuit
Of music.................. of wild imaginings?

[ampoule]

These are wonderful. I can tell I am not going to like choosing a winner.

[Dark Muse]

Songs From the Dead

Play for me...................................discordant harmonies
a song from the dead.....................each stolen breath
infused with memories...................voices in the shadows
murmurs to the moon....................melodies contorted
a prayer within your heart...............beating Morse code
my ear pressed.............................against your flesh
feeling the vibrations......................quivering lips
chanting incantations.....................in archaic languages
awakening soul depths.................. never letting go.

[YesNo]

Here? . . . . . . Where?
Near? . . . . . . There!

[cacian]

this is long overdue :)

[ampoule]

Yes, cacian, long overdue. My apologies to all of you.

YesNo....so playful
Dark Muse.....so 'Poe-ish', love it!
Hawkman.....wild in the night, how I love nocturnal music
Pendragon.....you had me so involved...in the shadows....whispers and echoes

All so good, and thank you. HAWKMAN wins!

[Pendragon]

Congrats, Hawkman!!

[Hawkman]

Gosh! Sorry... If or got about this and I've only just seen the final score! Thanks to ampule and you too Pen :)

Ok, the next round is a villanelle (http://wikipedia.org/wiki/Villanelle). Personally, I find them hellishly difficult to pull off. Modern versions do tend to allow minor variations to the refrains, but I'll be awarding extra brownie points to people who don't compromise. Probably the best known villanelle is Dylan Thomas' "Do not go gentle..."

The subject of the poem is up to you. Looking forward to seeing what you all come up with!

Deadline 20th Jan. 2015.

[YesNo]

The monster likes to look upon the skies.
The soothing blues and whites shift during day.
When cloudless twinkling stars caress his eyes.

They tell him what he sees is a disguise,
A fantasy he makes up in some way.
The monster likes to look upon the skies.

He doubts that what he sees are pretty lies.
It’s kind enough though it be devil’s play.
When cloudless twinkling stars caress his eyes.

Melodious like when an angel sighs
He knows there’s more to death. So, come what may.
The monster likes to look upon the skies.

They tell him that his evil magnifies
Their fear and for that reason he can’t stay.
When cloudless twinkling stars caress his eyes.

Until the end, they watch him as he tries
To break his chains and then break down to pray.
The monster likes to look upon the skies.
When cloudless twinkling stars caress his eyes.

[Pendragon]

“Hope Is the Thing With Feathers”

I really don’t care what people say—
Their advice shatters; broken stone tablets beneath Sinai.
I’d love to return to Yesterday…

“Tomorrow things will be different.” Indeed. So they may.
But in all likelihood I’d search but the path I’ll never find.
I really don’t CARE what people say—

Day after dismal, gloomy day—
I HAVE tried to face up to these difficulties in my life.
I’d love to return to Yesterday—

Before this accursed illness came creeping my way,
Battered down the doorways to my mind and crept inside!
I really don’t care WHAT people say—

All I can do is long, hope, and pray
To the One whom alone can (if He desires) send help from on High.
I’d love to return to Yesterday—

But the pressure continues to build and fear holds sway.
Have the walls been breached so that to win is to die?
I really DON’T CARE WHAT people say—
I’d love to return to yesterday…

Pendragon

[Melanie]

Yes, congrats Hawkman.

[Hawkman]

Thanks Melanie :)

Any more?

[Dark Muse]

Jade Heart

Light begins to fade
drowning in your gaze
with a heart of jade.

Waiting in your shade
watching your eyes blaze,
light begins to fade.

Love balanced on a blade,
truth lost in a fog of haze
with a heart of jade.

Old memories decayed
with lost Summer days
light begins to fade.

Your dark waters I wade
to mend forgotten ways
with a heart of jade.

And still you stayed
in my last moon phase
light begins to fade
with a heart of jade.

[Hawkman]

Three very different approaches to the villanelle. Muse, yours is quite minimalist and has a strong rhythm, but consequently, the lyricism I associate with the form is a little lacking.

Pen, a heartfelt piece, but I feel the fluctuating line lengths and syllable count make it read a bit unevenly.

Y/N, yours is a lyrical piece which holds to the tradition of the form and executes it well. If it has a weakness it is that the third person narration in 'they' and 'their' weakens it slightly. We and our might have been stronger. I read it as commenting on a death row inmate's contemplation of approaching nemesis.

Two experiments with the form and both free thinking in approach. They both have something to say... But this is a form contest...

So Y/N I think yours is the strongest, so you win. Thanks to Muse and Pen for taking part and for making it so hard to pick a winner.

Over to you, Y/N...

[YesNo]

Thanks, Hawkman. In rereading the poem, I think you are right that replacing "they" and "their" with "we" and "our" would make it stronger. Thanks, again.

The next form is "common measure". Here is a description of it: http://www.poetryfoundation.org/learning/glossary-term/common%20measure

Your poem may be on any topic.

The deadline is March 1st.

For those not familiar with this form contest, to enter the contest write a poem in the specified form (common measure, in this case) and post it here. On March 1st, I will pick the winner. The winner will then pick a new form and start a new contest.

[YesNo]

I am going to try to bump this thread with a Valentine's Day poem.


Valentine's Day Poem 2015

My heart is like a valentine
That’s waiting for the spring
To warm it with a pleasant rain,
Unfreeze it, help it sing.

[YesNo]

I'm extending the time on this contest. Common meter is pretty common like "Mary had a little lamb".

[Pompey Bum]

Goliath was a Philistine,
We went to a museum.
He rolled his eyes at Phoebe's thighs
(Although you've got to see 'em).
He didn't like the way Van Dyck
Resolved his light and shadow.
When I explained, he said, all pained:
"Oh yadda, yadda, yadda!"
Poor Titian's flairs drew sullen stares,
Picasso fared no better;
He just said no to all Van Gogh,
Cezanne was a dead letter.
Then at the overpriced cafe
He cried, "This mocha's tart!
I don't know why you want to stay
If this is what's called art!"
He girded up his loins and left,
He took his ball and sling;
And yet before I paid the check,
I noticed one last thing:
Goliath was a Philistine,
A petty bourgeoisie,
But when beyond those things I'd seen,
I knew the man was me.

[YesNo]

Very nice, Pompey Bum!

This contest is long overdue. The winner is Pompey Bum! Congratulations!

You now have the opportunity to pick the next form and set the deadline.

[Pompey Bum]

Thank you, YesNo. Not enough horses in that race, but I'm easily flattered. :)

The next poem can actually take whatever form, meter, or lack of meter the poet likes, as long as it is an apostrophe. No, not the venerable item of punctuation, but a literary device in which one speaks to someone or something who isn't there or can't answer (Blake, Jesus, a flea on a lady's bonnet), an inanimate object or subject (night, your first car, the white cliffs of Dover), or even a personified abstraction (justice, death, foot odor). "Twinkle Twinkle Little Star" is an apostrophe. So is this poem, addressed to a prehistoric cave painter, which I recently entered in another contest thread:

Spirit Cave

Only this I ask of you,
Trespasser in the black womb
Of our mother's night:
When you have frightened up
Those horses from their doom,
And written them into her fertile sides,
Then trace there, too, your hand,
And I will look upon my hand, unfurled,
And so the mist of both our worlds
May come to touch us both,
And send the spirits soaring
From her mouth.

Yes, apostrophes! They're fun, they're flexible, and they're as easy or hard as you want to make them. Let's see if can we get a few posted, then I'll call a deadline.

[tailor STATELY]

Eastertide - An Apostrophe

O, blood moon -
bless you for the portent of rain
this Eastertide's jewel
befitting our merciful King

Spring - celebrates the eternal
progression of man - a potential
of Light within all creation

With a crown of thorns derisively
placed upon Jesus' head
He died. He rose! He lives!!!

O, blood moon -
similitude of man's unwashed sin
share with me your thoughts on
Gethsemane !

4/3/2015

Ta ! (short for tarradiddle),
tailor STATELY

[Pompey Bum]

Great submittal by tailor! Let's try to get a few more posted before setting the deadline.

[YesNo]

O massive lake, O warm, calm day,
O wind that wants to blow away,
O sunny beach where people play,
O breath, O life enjoy your stay.

[Pompey Bum]

Thanks YesNo. This contest is moving along, too, although a few more poems would be nice. Let's set the deadline for Friday, April, 10th. In the meantime, keep those cards and letters coming in! Remember, all you need to do is to write a poem that talks to someone or something. You know you've got it in you! :)

[Pompey Bum]

Today is award day for this contest, too. Both pieces submitted were excellent. But the winner is...tailor STATELY for his (yes?) heartfelt and superbly crafted Eastertide: An Apostrophe. I liked this one in particular because its powerful "blood moon" image, which resonates with the darkness at noon image from the Crucifixion, also becomes a harbinger of spring and "light within all creation," so that the very blood of Christ becomes a portent of the rain that will bring the world to life again. Every prayer is an apostrophe. This one is also a magnificent poem. Thank you Tailor, who will chose the next form.

[tailor STATELY]

Thank you Pompey Bum ! Spirit Cave was a beautiful poem; and I enjoyed your poem very much YesNo.

Next form is Tanka, a Japanese form still in popular use. Like a traditional Haiku it is syllabic based - only instead of 5-7-5 it

is 5-7-5-7-7; id est: line 1 is 5-sillybibbles, line 2 is 7-sillybibbles, and so on.

Ta ! (short for tarradiddle),
tailor STATELY

[YesNo]

Thank you, tailor STATELY! And congratulations! I enjoyed yours as well.


Cyclic Understanding

Understanding it,
I thought I knew it all, but
then the mysteries
I did not understand came
home to comfort me again.

[Pompey Bum]

When we meet that day,
Companion malignancy,
Oh I will know you,
And I will teach you my name:
No boy this time, you bastard.

[tailor STATELY]

Deadline: Midnight Wednesday PDT: 29 April 2015

Ta ! (short for tarradiddle),
tailor STATELY

[tailor STATELY]

YesNo: Cyclic Understanding – Forgive me if I am way off base. There is something circular here (or sinusoidal as I have experienced): the mysteries of non-understanding that can confound the worldly wise being brought to humility through the spirit, and re-familiarity to the things of the spirit with its comfort (in my interpretation: the pride cycle). The enjambment tripped me a little, but it allowed me to delve deeper into the crux of this nugget.

Pompey Bum: My Cancer – A defiant apostrophe to that nemesis cancer that the protagonist must have experienced in youth. “When we meet that day, Companion malignancy” speaks to me of a final reckoning that is mirrored in L5; the cancer perhaps in remission throughout life, but not cured.

Both worthy poems with a slight edge to Pompey Bum - our winner this go round. Congratulations to the both of you !

Ta ! (short for tarradiddle),
tailor STATELY

[Pompey Bum]

Thank you very much, tailor. The speaker is me. It's autobiographical. And as always, you are too kind.

Okay, the next poem should be a cryptogram. All that means (for our purposes--"cryptogram" has other meanings, too) is that the first letter of each line should spell out a second message to the reader. A poem I recently wrote for the Minimalist Poetry Contest thread was a very simple poetic cryptogram:


Beauty virgin ice
Longing summer sky
Underwater came your limbs
Every blue's a lie

The secondary message can also have an ironic sense. I wrote this doggerel some time ago when a particularly obnoxious pest decided to leave my life:

Farewell

Perhaps we'll meet on some bright morrow!
Is parting really such sweet sorrow?
So soon you came, so soon you go,
So soon we reap what we all sow.

O passer by us, we have known
Friendship, I think, as if on loan.
Farewell, farewell, for now you're gone!

They're actually a lot of fun. Wanna play?

[PeterL]

Amazing! talking with one not present.
Mobile or fixed the connections can be.
Ethereal crackles or buzzes are not as
Common as they were in times well passed.
Hell yes! Now they drop the call completely
Elegant in concept; poor in execution.

http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=Ameche
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9WDyKO7GQ70

[Pompey Bum]

Thanks Peter, but I think you've entered this poem into the wrong contest. It needs to go in the Subject Poetry Contest, not the Form Poetry Contest. Feel free to make an entry here, too, following the rules above. :)

As for the rest of you, c'mon, c'mon cough 'em up!

[PeterL]

Thanks Peter, but I think you've entered this poem into the wrong contest. It needs to go in the Subject Poetry Contest, not the Form Poetry Contest. Feel free to make an entry here, too, following the rules above. :)


I went to great trouble to write a poem that worked for both. This definitely is an entry for form poem. I also used an interesting and obscure piece of slang.
http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=Ameche

[Pompey Bum]

Oh sorry. I saw the title and thought there must have been a mistake. Thanks so much for contributing and please accept my apologies for the misunderstanding. :)

[PeterL]

Oh sorry. I saw the title and thought there must have been a mistake. Thanks so much for contributing and please accept my apologies for the misunderstanding. :)

No problem, I should have bolded the letters. Maybe it was a mistake to write one poem for both, but you posted asking for entries not long before I looked at that thread, so they fit together in my mind.

[YesNo]

Hardly what I thought it’d be:
Evening shifts to night
Like forever tediously
Looking for fresh light.

[Dark Muse]

Obsession

Overwhelmed by the scent of you,
breathless within your presence,
senseless when your fingers brush my skin,
enshrined within your eyes,
suspended between sanity and ecstasy,
surrendering myself to you,
inhale your essence,
only you command my attention,
nothing will keep me from you.

[North Star]

Periodic Table

People studying
Everyting in existence
Raw material
In all you touch or eat

On everything you see
Dictating your genome
Indicating,
Coding

This is
All there is and all there ever will
Be, of
Life and everything in
Existence.

[Pompey Bum]

Nice work, everyone! I told you those were fun. We'll let the contest ride until Monday the 10th, then announce a winner.

[axolotl]

Gain from gold
or gain from mist,
did them rise from Nothing?

[Pompey Bum]

Thanks for your contribution, Axolotl, and welcome back! :)

[cacian]

about an idea that
resonance finds jad
talent expresses it glad

[Steve Leese]

Endearment,

To tell a lie is to cheat,
no trust we are incomplete,
the love is at a defeat,
a criteria we must not meet,

From the moment we met,
you I will never forget,
you I will never regret,
You I will never upset,
you I will never test,
you I will never jest,
You I will never reject,

My love for you is clear,
my heart I hold you dear,
I always want you near,
In my arms I never fear,

It was a summers day,
I sore you walk by my way,
You looked and said ''hey'',
I thought no way,
can this be true,
out of the blue,
instantly I knew,
I wanted you.

[tailor STATELY]

She's So...
She doesn't really know me
In that timeless sense assured
Least of all my poetry
Life's ripostes singly endured
Yet love survives like a tree

5/9/2015

Ta ! (short for tarradiddle),
tailor STATELY

[_Joe_]

Examining my flaws and virtues
X-raying my existence
In search for redemption or
Some such assistance.
Through others I grasp for me
Externally validating my soul
Now to look inward and see
To what phantoms I lost control.
Ignorance can sometimes be bliss
Although intelligence is best;
Lies and comfortable illusion
Can put your mind at rest.
Restricted by time and space
It is but a hopeless dance.
Searching for hope or meaning
In this, life's hall of mirrors:
Such is our game of chance.

[Pompey Bum]

Okay, Joe wins. Congratulations, Joe, and take it away!

[_Joe_]

Okay, Joe wins. Congratulations, Joe, and take it away!

Thanks, Pompey Bum.

For the next form, let's go for terza rima (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Terza_rima).
Your poem has to be in three-line stanzas (tercets) with the rhyming scheme pattern of A-B-A, B-C-B, C-D-C and so on.
According to the Wikipedia link, you need to end it " with either a single line or couplet repeating the rhyme of the middle line of the final tercet".

To make the contest interesting, let's set a minimum of three tercets. So a minimal poem satisfying these requirements will have the rhyming scheme

A-B-A,B-C-B,C-D-C,D

or

A-B-A,B-C-B,C-D-C,D-D

Of course, feel free to go beyond the minimum number of tercets.
Deadline: two weeks from today.

Enjoy :)

[North Star]

Meditation on Terza Rima


Remember old Dante?
His work in poetry
really upped the ante.

No matter how hard you try,
you will not do it as well
in English, barely a far cry.

As anyone to you will tell -
if they studied Italian by
a candlelight - there are, well,

More rhymes in it than
there are flies in a bar
or cinemas in Cannes,

Allowing you to go far
further and more naturally
into the depths of lunar

Exploration, searching each valley
Of the mind in the darkened alley.

[_Joe_]

A great (meta) submission to get us started. Thanks, North Star.
As the poem insinuates, English is not as amenable to terza rima as Italian, but that's the fun of this challenge :)

[Dark Muse]

Lost Tomorrows

My love stood on the edge of light,
within my heart burns his fire,
it is my warmth thorough the night.

Old memories turn to ash on the pyre,
in shadows his fingers perform the crane dance,
we spoke the silent language of desire.

He was an offer for another chance,
on the brink of a lost tomorrow
I swayed within a trance.

He played the music of my sorrow
like a Siren's song it called me home,
his melody I now borrow.

Together over treacherous ground we roam
I write words of life and love in my tome.

[YesNo]

Dark thoughts by April’s chilly winds are sown
Though Spring is bright and mostly pleasant here.
The cruelty of humans is well known.

Though I am safely sheltered, many fear,
Which makes me wonder why I’m singled out
At least for now. My worries disappear.

Why test the strength of what it’s all about?
The Gods seem capable to do their will.
So brighten up. It’s Spring. Turn off that pout.

Don’t let those dark delusions have their fill
And waste fresh moments best enjoyed when still.

[_Joe_]

Since there doesn't seem to be much interest in submitting further poems, I will make my decision two days in advance in the interest of keeping this thread going.

North Star, Dark Muse, YesNo: thank you all for your submissions, each one was great in its own way.

North Star: great take on the difficulty of writing in terza rima. I always enjoy meta pieces.

Dark Muse: on the salutary value of love? I enjoyed the imagery quite a bit, especially with the fingers performing the "crane dance". I felt that the rhythm of the poem was off, though. Of course this is understandable given the demanding structure of the form.

YesNo: fantastic piece. The conflict between the restful season and the current global unrest and the resigned conclusion to live in the moment. Also, great form!

In conclusion, YesNo, you are the winner for this round. Take it away!

[Melanie]

Dark thoughts by April’s chilly winds are sown
Though Spring is bright and mostly pleasant here.
The cruelty of humans is well known.

Though I am safely sheltered, many fear,
Which makes me wonder why I’m singled out
At least for now. My worries disappear.

Why test the strength of what it’s all about?
The Gods seem capable to do their will.
So brighten up. It’s Spring. Turn off that pout.

Don’t let those dark delusions have their fill
And waste fresh moments best enjoyed when still.
Congratulations YesNo for a poem well executed in terza rima form!!

[YesNo]

Thanks, Joe and Melanie!

The next form will be a limerick.

Deadline June 14th.

[tailor STATELY]

A Marvelous Work...

There once was a prophet named Isaiah
whose word testified of the Messiah
His sweet song of the restoration
how the righteous shall inherit Zion
All will nigh bend their knees to Jehovah

6/1/2015

Ta ! (short for tarradiddle),
tailor STATELY

[YesNo]

Thank you, tailor_STATELY! Anyone else? Two weeks to go!

[_Joe_]

There once was a woman named Jane.
Who woke up each morning in pain.
She drank lots of beer
To give her good cheer
Till she had to wake up again.

[cacian]

this is long overdue
june 14?

[YesNo]

Thanks, cacian, for the reminder.

And thanks tailor STATELY and Joe for the contributions. Just checking the meter and rhyme for the limerick form, I think Joe's fits the limerick best and so the winner is Joe! Congratulations!

[_Joe_]

Thanks, cacian, for the reminder.

And thanks tailor STATELY and Joe for the contributions. Just checking the meter and rhyme for the limerick form, I think Joe's fits the limerick best and so the winner is Joe! Congratulations!

Thanks, YesNo.

For our next contest, let's do a ballad (http://www.poets.org/poetsorg/text/poetic-form-ballad)

[tailor STATELY]

Congrats _Joe_ !

A ballad, hmmm. As the King of Austria? once might have said upon hearing one of Mozart's works: (paraphrasing) too many notes, it just has too many notes (ref: my vague recollection of the movie "Amadeus"). As an avowed minimalist this will be difficult... but I'll take the challenge come what may!

Ta ! (short for tarradiddle),
tailor STATELY

[_Joe_]

Hey, there's no constraint on the length of a ballad as far as I know.

[YesNo]

Five lilies bloomed beside the road
Where Thomas walked today.
On leaving home, his well-worn load
Of worries went his way.

One lily orangish in the light
The breeze began to stir.
His mind was darkened by some night.
He did not look at her.

Two others asked him softly why
He thought he had to go.
Though dreams are hard to modify
Forgetfulness could grow.

Martha knew why he was gone.
There’s nothing she can do.
What’s done is done. Life must go on.
One lily knew that, too.

The last reminded him there’s joy
Beneath the sorrow’s shade
To water any lonely boy
When sunlight wants to fade.

The water comes from everywhere.
The lilies drink and shine.
The faithful sun shines here and there
And all can claim he’s mine.

[MorpheusSandman]

I've always wanted to try my hand at a ballad but have yet to be struck by a narrative idea to really utilize the form. My poetry seems to be drawn more towards dramatic monologues as of late, going so far as to write a kind of homage to My Last Duchess.


Five lilies bloomed beside the road
Where Thomas walked today.
On leaving home, his well-worn load
Of worries went his way.

One lily orangish in the light
The breeze began to stir.
His mind was darkened by some night.
He did not look at her.

Two others asked him softly why
He thought he had to go.
He thought he heard a wild bird cry,
But nothing seemed to show.

Martha knew why he was gone.
There’s nothing she can do.
What’s done is done. Life must go on.
One lily knew that, too.

The last reminded him there’s joy
Beneath the sorrow’s shade
To water any lonely boy
Whose path is fresh unmade.

The water comes from everywhere.
The lilies drink and shine.
The faithful sun shines here and there
And all can claim he’s mine.This is a superb poem, YesNo. Has strong echoes of Wordsworth's "I wandered lonely as a cloud." There are only two slightly sour moments. I don't like "nothing seemed to show." Perhaps something with the verb "low" (the sound of cows) to link with the "wild bird cry"? The other is "fresh unmade." Perhaps "now unmade" or "still unmade" or "soon unmade" or some variation? Otherwise it's excellent.

[YesNo]

Thanks, MorpheusSandman. I agree. Those two parts seem wrong to me as well.

Edit: I made some modifications.

[MorpheusSandman]

It's nearly perfect now, but I'd change "wants to fade" to "starts to fade" (wants suggest the sun has a choice in the matter). Otherwise, I love it. :)

BTW, let me single out this little part as a good example of a point I've repeatedly made:

"One lily orangish in the light
The breeze began to stir."

This is what's known as an "inversion" where, in this case, the object ("one lily") comes before the subject ("the breeze") and verb ("began to stir"); as well as placing the object ("one lily") before the adjective ("orangish"). It's considered "archaic" by today's standards and nearly universally reviled amongst contemporary poets. I've always said that inversions create a unique, unsettling effect when used at just the right moment in just the right context. Here, I think it's especially effective because this is precisely the moment in the poem were we get a "turn," a sense of something changing, and it's made all the more surprising because at the end of the first line we don't yet KNOW it's an inversion (so we initially assume "One lily" is the subject, before having that assumption subverted by the next line). So the fact that the inversion of syntax matches the turn of the structure, and that we FEEL this turn on an aesthetic level, is subtly masterful, and it's something you RARELY see today. So, well-done.

I might also mention that the one poem you didn't like, AE Stallings's "Like," mentioned inversions as one of the forms of artificial poetry that most contemporary poets hypocritically revile, but she was (implicitly) defending:

"Those poets who dislike
Inversions, archaisms, who just like
Plain English as she’s spoke — why isn’t “like”
Their (literally) every other word? I’d like
Us just to admit that’s what real speech is like."

[YesNo]

Thanks again, MorpheusSandman.

It is interesting that I was thinking about "starts" as well when revising that line but put in "wants" just to give the Sun some choice. The lilies are communicating as well in the poem.

Generally I don't like inversions and the one you mentioned bothered me, but I thought it helped the weirdness of the scene where lilies were talking to Thomas. Saying that it was "unsettling" makes sense. I felt unsettled by it myself.

I agree with the subject matter of Stallings' poem and the part that you quoted. I just don't find the subject matter interesting enough for a poem. A short blog post? Fine.

You made a good point in another thread that even non-formalists write about stuff that doesn't matter. Probably all poets do. My knee-jerk reaction against formalism is that the subject matter is too often archaic (Greek and Roman Gods), political (usually conservative), and cute witticisms. On the other hand, I would be a formalist trying to define myself outside of that group. I have more of a need to differentiate myself from other formalists.

[MorpheusSandman]

Generally I don't like inversions and the one you mentioned bothered me, but I thought it helped the weirdness of the scene where lilies were talking to Thomas. Saying that it was "unsettling" makes sense. I felt unsettled by it myself.I think of all poetic techniques as tools, and art is primarily knowing when to use what tool for what purpose. Thoughtless use of any tool, be it inversions or metaphors or imagery or anaphora, inevitably leads to bad poetry. Even great poets can fall into the habits of returning to certain techniques as if they're universally applicable; Whitman had a love for anaphora that bordered on fetishistic.


My knee-jerk reaction against formalism is that the subject matter is too often archaic (Greek and Roman Gods), political (usually conservative), and cute witticisms. On the other hand, I would be a formalist trying to define myself outside of that group. I have more of a need to differentiate myself from other formalists.Today, probably the most known poet writing about ancient subjects is Anne Carson; a non-formalist. Likewise, of the major 20th century formalist poets, none were entirely conservative (Auden was a communist, Yeats for Irish independence, Bishop and Merrill were apolitical, but closer to liberals; only Hill is kind of conservative, but there mostly in his religious beliefs, which he investigates more than blatantly promotes). Equating formalism with conservative ideology has more to do with equating formalism with pre-20th century poetry and finding most pre-20th century poetry conservative. This association hasn't really held in the 20th, where arguably the major conservative poet of the century was Eliot, who also happened to be one of the innovators of free-verse. Witticism I'll give you; formalism has always lent itself well to wit and aphorism, and, indeed, Auden, Bishop, and Merrill are witty; they could also be very serious, complex, and profound. Frankly, I think if you were going to introduce something new to formalism it would be the kind of imaginative improvisational approach that's common in, say, Ashbery. I've attempted this myself, and it's a difficult combination as it's hard to maintain formal control while giving yourself over to unconscious creativity.

[North Star]

The Ballad of the Woodsman

Long ago, on a cold summer night
Walking in the woods, dark and mossed
I met a dryad and at the first sight
My heart to her was forever lost.

Her hair was green, as were her eyes
That, meeting mine, imprisoned me.
My nymph and I, intertwined at thighs
I told her: like this I want forever be.

But she vanished to her forest home
And I was doomed by that one tryst,
To wondering under the green dome
With the memory of the lips I but once kissed.

O where are you, green dryad?
All my days and all my nights I spent
In your search, but I am now tired
And realize: to you it nothing meant.

[_Joe_]

So sorry I delayed this (and forgot to set a deadline in the first place!). Thank you, YesNo and North Star for your contributions. YesNo, you're the winner. Take it away!

[YesNo]

Thanks, Joe!

The next form is a poem that fits on a page of one of the micro-chapbooks from the Origami Poems Project: http://www.origamipoems.com/

Here are the constraints:

1) No more than 47 characters per line including spaces.
2) No more than 25 lines. (They say 25-27 lines, but let's make it exact.) Those lines include the title and a line between the title and the text. So the poem can only be 23 lines long.

Topic: Warm summer day.

Deadline: August 23rd.

[windblown]

An afternoon in August

I heard the helicopters
back and forth
along the river

They were celebrating
drinking and laughing
three houses down the street

He just wanted
to cool his ancles
down by the river

I heard the helicopters
He got in deeper
They were laughing

All afternoon
I heard the helicopters
I heard them laughing

He had been from Syria
He could not swim
I still hear them laughing

[YesNo]

Thank you for the entry, windblown!

Anyone else? Contest ends tomorrow.

[Dark Muse]

I wanted to enter this one but August was a busy month and I forgot about it. I will try and get something done by the end of the day.

[Dark Muse]

Poolside

Water drops sizzle
on skin, under
sun’s glare.

Sultry air,
wind a hot breath
against the neck.

Bone dry stillness
then a faint
inviting splash.

[YesNo]

Contest is over! Thank you, windblown and Dark Muse, for the entries!

windblown: This has an ominous feel about it with someone playing in water who can't swim and the alternation between laughter and helicopters.

Dark Muse: This was a nice description of someone coming out of the water and going back in. I can almost feel my skin reacting to the sun and the wind.

These are both very good and they both fit the form, or rather constraints, needed for a submission to the Origami Poems Project.

The winner: Dark Muse

Congratulations!

[Dark Muse]

Thank you! I will post the new form soon.

[Dark Muse]

The next form is called a Diamante (Not required, but if it is centered it creates a diamond like shape)

Structure of the form:

Line 1: Noun/Subject
Line 2: Two adjectives
Line 3: three ing words (looking, seeking, swimming etc..)
Line 4: Four words 2 about subject and 2 about an antonym or synonym
Line 5: three ing words
Line 6: two adjectives
Line 7: antonym or synonym

Here are some examples:


She
supple; soft
nurturing; enchanting; defying
temptress; lunar; solar
unyielding; searching; appealing
solid; noble
He

Yin
elusive, darkness
yielding, alluring, inviting,
serene, Anima, energetic, Animus
arising, commanding, shining
decisive, action
Yang

Deadline: Sept. 20th

[YesNo]

Reality
here, now
being, becoming, living
support, transformation, logic, tests
contemplating, imitating, explaining
simplistic, reductive
model

[Dark Muse]

I will give a little more time to see if I can get a few more takers

[Dark Muse]

Well it looks like you are it YesNo. Great poem all the same, and deserving of a win.

[YesNo]

Thanks, Dark Muse!

The next form will be a limerick.

Deadline: about Oct 15th

[Pendragon]

There was a haunted house in Berlin
With a poltergeist dwelling therein
No one stayed more than one night
Their hair turned gray from fright
As the shadowman knocked them end over end

[YesNo]

Since there is only one entry so far, I will extend the deadline for another week until the end of October.

[North Star]

I actually wrote one
That was good fun
But I destroyed
It, making it void.
Then I wrote this one.

[YesNo]

Contest is over! Thanks for the entries!

Pendragon: I'll have to remember to avoid staying at haunted houses.

North Star: Nice perspective on revision.

The winner is Pendragon!

Congratulations!

[Pendragon]

Thank you.

My favorite poetry form is the villanelle. If you don't know the format, you can find it here: https://www.poets.org/poetsorg/text/poetic-form-villanelle

End of contest two weeks from today. Good luck!

[YesNo]

A working daydream makes the body light
But when we feel abandoned by the flame
A teasing nightmare trades our joy for fright.

Those happy seem enhaloed by what’s bright
Forgetting guilt and other modes of shame.
A working daydream makes the body light.

Remembering could turn straight-jackets tight
And squeeze out hope replacing it with blame.
A teasing nightmare trades our joy for fright.

Then freedom twists us loose. It’s right
To trust that life is something we can tame?
A working daydream makes the body light

Defeat then binds us foolishly in night
Where demons and the angels look the same.
A teasing nightmare trades our joy for fright.

As gifts it makes no sense to think of flight.
We serve and trust the giver has a name
Though working daydreams make the body light
And teasing nightmares trade that joy for fright.

[Dark Muse]

Moonlight Lover

We danced in moonlight
beneath a November rain
your winter eyes shine bright

Upon your lips my heart takes flight
I only want you to hold me again
we danced in moonlight

We have shadows still to fight
my sorrows lie at your feet slain
your winter eyes shine bright

Your meerest touch holds me tight
our fingers weave an unbreakable chain
we danced in moonlight.

As dawn breaks you fade from sight
lost memories I struggle to regain
your winter eyes shine bright

Please don't whisper Goodnight
dreams vanishing on a passing train
we danced in moonlight
your winter eyes shine bright

[Pendragon]

YesNo I like your style, but I'm afraid that Dark Muse hit it out of the park! You're up, Dark Muse!

[tailor STATELY]

Congratulations Dark Muse ! Well done both of you.

I had one almost ready... I'll post to my website when done. This form is hard for me for some raison.

Ta ! (short for tarradiddle),
tailor STATELY

[Dark Muse]

Thank you! I will get a new form for you all soon.

[Dark Muse]

I am partial to Japanese styles of poetry so your next poem is a Sedoka

The Sedoka is a poem made up of a pair of katauta (which is a three lined poem). The Sedoka is an unrhymed poem following a syllable count of:

5/7/7
5/7/7

Traditionally the two katauta's address the same subject from two different perspectives.

Examples:

Vibrance of Spring

The breath of warm wind
a gentle voice in my soul
now Persephone rises.

Flowers bloom again
beneath fingers of the rain
feel the vibrations of life.

Spiral

Life; twisting; turning
the pattern replicated
immortal and eternal

Winds around itself
spinning from the inside out
revisited; outside in.

Because some people might be busy in the upcoming weeks I will give an slightly extended deadline of Dec. 10

[Pendragon]

Life's Blood

The blood is the life
Circulating through our veins
Warm, rich; bubbling red and rosy

The life is the blood
Slowly draining, red and hot
Damaged body, now grows cold

Pendragon
11/25/2015

[YesNo]

I wouldn’t do that.
It’s not right. What’s good deserves
a better base to stand on.

Why do you worry?
Go ahead. Take a risk. Give
bad a chance to turn out right.

[tailor STATELY]

Sedoka Rose
Summer pink roses
clipped high by foraging deer
flourish resplendent in thirst

Autumnal showers
transfigure waning petals
to unmask bright orange hips

12/10/2015

Ta ! (short for tarradiddle),
tailor STATELY

[Dark Muse]

Three very good entries. I enjoyed them all, they each took very different approaches to the form.

Pendragon: Really enjoyed the reversal of the first line and I loved the mirror effect of the poem.

YesNo: I enjoyed the way in which you used that classical theme of the good and bad conscious. I could visualize the angel on one shoulder and the devil on the other having this debate.

tailor STATELY: I loved the nature theme, and thought this was beautiful and elegantly written, also a very poetic title.

And the winner is

tailor STATELY

[Pendragon]

Congrats, tailor STATELY! And thanks for the comment Dark Muse!

[tailor STATELY]

Thank you Dark Muse ! I enjoyed the other entries as well.

Next: English style Ottava rima (Sailing to Byzantium, by William Butler Yeats an example... http://www.poetryfoundation.org/poem/172063 )

Eight 10-syllable lines per stanza w/ a scheme: ABABABCC

1-stanza ok; extra points for multiple stanzas (maximum of 4-stanzas).

Create !

Ta ! (short for tarradiddle),
tailor STATELY

[Pendragon]

Dirge #79

I do not know why that I ever felt
The habits of decades would ever change
Given that my people still clearly held
The strong opinion I am very strange
Thought mom dying might make their cold hearts melt
But I am still filled with red hot rage
They know that my only sin was getting sick
So why did they play such a vile, cold trick?

I know too well that they were always cold
They even hated me when I was well
Down through all my life, through long years untold
They basically put me through holy hell
I should stand up with courage, brave and bold
And simply tell them all to go to hell
Since they put me high on their to hate shelf
I should tell them all to go screw themselves

Why do I still care; obviously they do not?!
Bitterness is not really me at all
Wishing them all in a damp grave to rot
Blood is thicker than water and through it all
My family is really all that I got
Forgiveness: for is not that the whole law?
I curse in darkness, but smile when in light
Always tell myself that it is alright

A tangled web of lies, told as the truth
Cold comfort comes from their icy blue eyes
Always hated since I was but a youth
So I hid my heart in a thin disguise
Hatred is illogical, so now forsooth
I will endure until life itself dies
Nestled safely away in my own tomb
Bad-a-Bad-a-boom! Best guy in the room!

Pendragon
12/18/2015

[YesNo]

The wind is blowing off my morning smile.
The crowd requires a detour from my plan.
Impatience puts my sinking love on trial.
The beach is closed with new construction. Can
The simple joy of everything breathe while
The sidewalk holds asleep a ragged man?
That beggar may perhaps be more aware
Than I who miss his feet and pass him there.

[tailor STATELY]

Two strong entries. Time to set a deadline. Let's try for 1-week from today 1/14/2016 midnight Pacific Standard Time.

Ta ! (short for tarradiddle),
tailor STATELY

[tailor STATELY]

Deadline: 1 Day & ~9 hours to go ! ( 1/14/2016 midnight Pacific Standard Time. )

[tailor STATELY]

Enjoyed both entries.

Pendragon: Forsooth ? ( yeeesh ! ) - though it does add to your wry/tortured tone and ending. Enduring to the end is one of my credos. Favorite line(s): "Nestled safely away in my own tomb" "Bad-a-Bad-a-boom! Best guy in the room!"

YesNo: Enjoyed the enjambment in L4. Favorite line: "The wind is blowing off my morning smile."

Passing the torch to Pendragon. Congratulations !

Ta ! (short for tarradiddle),
tailor STATELY

[Pendragon]

Thank you!

I am going to choose song. Two verses and a chorus. Your choice of how the rhymes go, but it must have rhyme. The rhyme of the first verse should match the rhyme of the second verse, i.e. If first verse goes ABAB, so does the second. The chorus doesn't have to match rhyme with the verses.

So it's this way

First Verse
Chorus
Second verse
(additional verses if wanted)

Good luck!

God Bless
Pen

[Pendragon]

You know, I'm gonna pass on this. No one has been here to even try this form. I'm gone.

[YesNo]

Don't leave yet! I trying to think of a subject for a song. I like the song form just haven't come up with anything that fits.

[tailor STATELY]

I been ! I been ! Queued up on ZenPen.io to noodle with on http://www.rhymedesk.com . My ideas just take longer from germination to harvest than all y'all.

Ta ! (short for tarradiddle),
tailor STATELY

[YesNo]

Shadows from the past
Confront the spinning mind
Far off dream clouds last
Though they’re hard to find.

Regret moves in too quickly.
Forget and close the door.
Blinding fog flows thickly.
Forgive it now once more.


Whenever sadness chokes the heart
There’s light somewhere to soothe it.
A wrinkle in your mind might start.
Relax and you can smooth it.

Brains don’t understand.
Since they don’t really know.
Demons may be right at hand
But they can’t see the show.


Whenever sadness chokes the heart
There’s light somewhere to soothe it.
A wrinkle in your mind might start.
Relax and you can smooth it.

[Pendragon]

Hummmm..... you realize I will be attempting to sing these....