Form Poem Contest

[krymsonkyng]

The Tin Woodman

A lumberjack should know nothing of loss
but that coward witch taught ol' Nick Chopper
replacement parts can only go so far.
Now my tin wears thin beneath vines and moss.
To be made of clockwork and love no more
To be entrapped by rusted over limbs
These branches! My wooden prison condemns
my heart, my heart, decayed by rain, my core
A bit of oil looses my aching joints.
Could this girl's wizard finish my repairs?
I muster not even halfhearted hope
Toward a city of emerald our road points
They say the path belongs to him who dares
Take heart, take heart you metal misanthrope.


Ps. AuntShecky That was awesome! Great unity of idea and form, given the restrictions of a sonnet.

[qimissung]

Oh, wonderful, krymsonkyng! Thank you. I love "The Wizard of Oz."

[krymsonkyng]

Thank ya kindly qimissung!

[qimissung]

This contest is now closed. I will be back with the results, hopefully this weekend. Thank you Pendragon, AuntShecky, and KrymsonKing, for your entries.

[qimissung]

I would, first off, like to thank Pendragon, auntShecky, and KrymsonKyng for entering this contest and taking on the somewhat daunting feat of writing a sonnet. I have written a few myself. I'm not saying they're any good, just that, in writing at least, I try not to ask of others what I have not attempted myself.

All the entries were fine ones. Pendragon, I liked your downhome, touching homily to veterans. There is, unfortunately, so much truth in what you wrote. I actually recently visited a homeless shelter and while there spoke briefly to a vet who was seeking shelter for the night.

AuntShecky wrote on a similar theme, liberty. You "captured" very well the elusive quality of Lady Liberty. As KrymsonKyng said, "Great unity of idea and form." I agree.

Krysonkyng, yours isn't too shabby either. Your clever phrases do so much more than sum up the tin woodman's story. I love that last line, "Take heart, take heart you metal misanthrope."

But the winner is

AuntShecky!

You had me at "but liberty's no lady" and your concluding lines

"How fast it skitters, quicksilver on a slab!
No frame will hold, for nowhere can be found
a clue: at large, uncaged, in charge, and free."

Love the internal rhyme, and how you strive to delineate this most visceral ideal. Well done, AuntShecky.

Please choose the next form for us.

[krymsonkyng]

Called it ;) Great work everybody, especially Aunty!

[AuntShecky]

Thank you Pendragon and KrymsonKyng for entering this contest, and thank you qimissung for selecting this.

I'm honored to choose the next form which will be an English variation of the rondeau called the "roundel." Here's how you make a roundel--it sounds complicated, but it really isn't.

-The poem is only 11 lines long with only 2 rhymes in three stanzas of 4, 3, and 4 lines.

-Lines # 4 and #11 consist of a refrain which repeats the poem's opening word or phrase.

-The refrain (R) may be rhymed with lines #2,#5, #7, and #9.

-The rhyme scheme is this:
abaR bab abaR
You can see the pattern with this poem by A.C. Swinburne, titled, appropriately enough, "Roundel":

A roundel is wrought as a ring or a star-bright sphere,
With craft of delight and with cunning of sound unsought,
That the heart of the hearer may smile if to pleasure his ear
A roundel is wrought.

It's jewel of music is carven of all or of aught--
Love, laughter, or mourning --remembrance of rapture or fear-
That fancy may fashion to hang in the ear of thought.

As a bird's quick song runs sound, and the hearts in us hear --
Pause answers to pause, and again the same strain caught,
So moves the device whence, round as a pearl or tear,
A roundel is wrought.

See? Not so hard. I really believe that LitNutters can rise to the roundel challenge. I'm also stipulating that the topic be a cheerful one.

Get your pencils and keyboards going and post an original roundel any time between now and May 10. Hope we get numerous entries!

{NOTE: After I read the notice from one of the moderators that she preferred the last day for entries in the poetry contests be closer to the 10th of the month. This way the winner won't escape mention in the newsletter!}

[Dark Muse]

I'm also stipulating that the topic be a cheerful one.

Now that is going to be a challange for me haha

[AuntShecky]

Now that is going to be a challange for me haha

Oh, come now, Dark Muse, you've been light-hearted and witty! (Please note change to a week earlier.)

[Pendragon]

Love Song

The sand on the beach, the waves of the sea,
relaxing and waiting for a moment in time
Reflections of love just for you and me
Remembrance of who we are

To hurry such precious moments would be a crime
May our love last as long as the endless sea
Forever together, our hearts all entwined

Making our life contented, together we will be
Until the final burnout of eternity and time
Two hearts bound together who do not wish to be free
Rememberance of just who we are

Pendragon

[hillwalker]

VIVE LA DIFFERENCE

Oo-la-la, c'est magnifique, the way those French girls sway
Their hips and legs like poetry in motion, they're so chic;
Their hairstyles and their fashions, all the rest seem so passe -
Oo-lal-la, c'est magnifique!

I love it when they flash their eyes, the breathless way they speak,
And when they meet acquaintances along the street they say
'Bonjour' before embracing, then a kiss on either cheek.

Oo-la-la, c'est magnifique, I'm drawn by their display
But then a finger flip, a sneer, a sudden fit of pique,
A puff of cigarette smoke then a snarl drives me away -
Oo-la-la, c'est magnifique!

[PrinceMyshkin]

VIVE LA DIFFERENCE

Oo-la-la, c'est magnifique, the way those French girls sway
Their hips and legs like poetry in motion, they're so chic;
Their hairstyles and their fashions, all the rest seem so passe -
Oo-lal-la, c'est magnifique!

I love it when they flash their eyes, the breathless way they speak,
And when they meet acquaintances along the street they say
'Bonjour' before embracing, then a kiss on either cheek.

Oo-la-la, c'est magnifique, I'm drawn by their display
But then a finger flip, a sneer, a sudden fit of pique,
A puff of cigarette smoke then a snarl drives me away -
Oo-la-la, c'est magnifique!

Lovely lilt to this - and then the surprising turnabout at the end!

[AuntShecky]

Thanks for the two initial entries! Keep 'em comin'!

[Dark Muse]

The Music of Love

Let us fall forever in the twilight,
hands clasped, my eyes upon the Northern star,
I'll listen to your music on hot summer nights.
Let us fall forever

Dreaming of worlds somewhere afar
you watch my face caught in the moon light,
your fingers will strum cords of love on a guitar.

Drawing your warmth around me in delight,
if only these moments could be bottled in a jar,
sweetly your tender melodies take flight.
Let us fall forever

[krymsonkyng]

The Play Fight.

A need is desire with a time limit
Hold it tight against your chest. Keep the fire
lit, that wiry bit, a still, silent fit.
A need is desire

Bright eyes set, lined, the mascara 'd crier
some slight against obsessed, made quick to quit
by the spinning sonnets of a liar.

The winding wounds we weave with lines of spit
words, heal; More venom cures the poison's ire.
Brevity more real than the argument
A need is desire.

[PrinceMyshkin]

The complexity of the thought in this somewhat eludes me after just one reading, but there's no way to overlook your technical virtuosity. Bravo.

[AuntShecky]

Picking a winner for this "round" is going to be difficult, as they're all gems --

Nevertheless, let's get some more "hitters and ducks on the pond," to use a couple of bb clichés.

Entries may be posted through this Monday, May 10. Maybe some LitNetters will make this task even more difficult!

[Hawkman]

Consequences

My heart is pure, the maiden cried whilst running through the dell.
You shall not have your way with me unless I can be caught
But taking care to keep ahead, she did not run too well
For both desired but never gave the consequence much thought.

A tantalising promise of the union they both sought,
She slowed and let him catch her, surrendered all and fell
Their union in the womb of wood, in secret then was wrought.

But her father was not happy when her belly now did swell
Which indicated plainly what such sinful pleasure bought.
With shotgun and a priest her father youth’s rebellion quelled,
For both desired but never gave the consequence much thought.

[AuntShecky]

Thanks for all of the entries so far. This leg of the contest will remain open for the rest of today and this evening. The "lucky" winner will be announced soon.

[AuntShecky]

All righty then! The time to choose the winning roundel has finally come well, " 'round."

The roundel is, if not inherently difficult, an unfamiliar form to many of us. Yet ALL of the five entries fulfilled the criteria of this particular form admirably.(cf. Reply # above.) The other stipulation-- that the topic be "cheerful" was also more or less followed, but I must say that I'm surprised how the entire quintet chose "love," which, as a topic isn't always inherently cheerful. But that's a discussion for another day. For now, let's take a look at these fine entries.

Pendragon's piece is "Love Song," with "Remembrance of who we are" as the refrain. My favorite lines in this particular piece are lines 9 and 10:
Until the burnout of eternity and time
Two hearts bound together who do not wish to be free

Not only do they throw the reader a little curve ball, they
also recall Ira Gershwin's "Our Love is Here to Stay": "the Rockies may crumble/Gilbralter may tumble." I may have the crumble and tumble reversed, but in any event, nice work, Pen.

Speaking of music, Dark Muse said she doubted that she could write about a "cheerful" theme, but "The Music of Love" proves her wrong. The sounds in her poem live up to its name, and her lovely refrain demonstrates how lovers should keep their initial attraction alive and vibrant: "Let us fall forever."

And still speaking of music, Hillwalker 's "Vive La Difference" presents the Francophile's version of "California Girls" by the Beach Boys. With the poem's bi-lingual wit playing with the oft-cited "Oooh-la-la" expression and even some of the rhymes are French words: "passe,"
"magnifique."

There's much romantic tension in Krysomkyng's entry, but the title,"The Play Fight," keeps it from straying too far from the "cheerful" topic. The impressive opening line: "A need is desire with a time limit" is thought-provoking, as is the most expressive phrase in this highly-charged piece: "the spinning sonnets of a liar."

The old and the new kinds of love are evoked in the final
piece, "Consequences" by Hawkman. On the one hand we have the traditions of Puritanical-- if not medieval --morality contrasted with the urgency of young love "in the womb of wood." Methinks the weight shifts toward the former -- with the "consequences" of a "swollen belly" and the inevitable "shotgun wedding." I'll forgive you for wrenching the syllables in line 10, Hawkman, because the line begins with the phrase "with shotgun and a priest." This is a poetic device made famous by Alexander Pope: "sometimes counsel takes and sometimes tea." So you deserve a special award for being the first LitNutter (to my knowledge) to use a zeugma effectively. And by the bye, even your entry is reminiscent of a song: "Ballad of the Shape of Things" by The Kingston Trio.

Man oh man, with all my heart I wish I could declare every one of these five entries the winner. That's how much I enjoyed reading them. But, alas, there can be only one.

And so, congratulations to everyone, but especially Krymsonkyng. Please select the next poetry form.

[hillwalker]

Thanks AuntyS for your je ne sais quoi - no seriously, your kind comments much appreciated. And your musical taste (Beach Boys/Kingston Trio) is as commendable as it is varied!
And Krymson, a very worthy winner. From the opening line - a masterpiece of economy.

Well done.

[krymsonkyng]

Thank you kindly everyone who participated, and thank you AuntShecky and Hillwalker especially for such kind words! Such a fun form, and so many great poems...

The next challenge should play off of AuntShecky's wonderful commentary. The most effective use of zeugma (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Zeugma) within a seven line piece, any rhyme scheme, will take the cake.

How does June 1st sound for a deadline?

Ready? Set!?! Go!!!

[Pendragon]

Faced with problems, hurt, and pain
Drowned by sorrow and cold pelting rain
Both sorrow and happiness mixed in a refrain
Not knowing if up is down, down up perhaps
Moments and hours that so quickly fade and pass
Crying both "Huzzah!" and "Alas"
I took my coat and my leave

Pendragon

[krymsonkyng]

Faced with problems, hurt, and pain
Drowned by sorrow and cold pelting rain
Both sorrow and happiness mixed in a refrain
Not knowing if up is down, down up perhaps
Moments and hours that so quickly fade and pass
Crying both "Huzzah!" and "Alas"
I took my coat and my leave


A great first entry! I like how you took advantage of the freedom with this round's form and hit zeugma after zeugma.

Keep 'em coming folks!

[hillwalker]

A honky-tonk woman with bile-bearing lips
Was propping the bar in the ‘Whistling Nun’.
I should have just taken one look then my leave
But she noticed me staring - drew breath then a gun.
She asked for my name and a light; I gave both
As she sank her last shot of tequila then down to the floor in a heap.
I was given no choice but to leave in a rush and the next train from town.

*aka Mick Jagger and Keith Richards who co-wrote ‘Honky-Tonk Women’ and probably the very first zeugma (?) I ever heard :
“she blew my nose and then she blew my mind…..”

[krymsonkyng]

Thank you Hillwalker for your excellent poem!

We're almost out of time... I'm beginning to think such a simple form was too little to ask. Come on folks, let's see some entries!

On a side note, I will be unable to judge until the third, as I'll be on an airplane for most of the 1st and 2nd... Sorry.

[Jesterhead]

Your wish of being used, mechanical pleasure,
In a sense owned, by many, all the same,
A pleasure bound by leather, handcuffs and fire
The way of your dreams I could not comprehend,
As though you showed the world entire,
Again and again, you leapt through the frame
Of sanity and pain, through your sadness was satisfaction.

[krymsonkyng]

Well done folks! What we lacked in mass, we made up for with mastery. The challenge was to make a 7 line poem that used Zeugma, a literary device meant to bend words into double meaning, most effectively.

Pendragon- Your poem embraced the idea of duality in a way that left me smirking. It displays sound imagery and very well played meter. The last line serves as what seems to be a bit of a non-sequitur, which further emphasizes the zeugma within and makes for an entertaining twist. I thoroughly enjoyed digging into this poem. The union of the two emotions in the final line was tight, and turned zeugma into your tool.

Hillwalker- "Honky-Tonk Woman" was pure entertainment from the first line. "Bile-Bearing Lips" held me in place for a moment contemplating its' several possible meanings before I could move forward. It presents zeugma after zeugma to tell a fun and funny tale. It also effectively uses a break in rhyme to turn about line four, which also takes advantage of the freedom I was hoping to see in this form. So much impact, it rocked my socks and the world.

Jesterhead- Benny Benassi and the Biz couldn't beast it the way you did: Excellent work! The way each line orbits around the center, and the message there, as well as the first and final was very skillfully accomplished. Lines five and six especially, for me, are pregnant with potency. Almost as strong as your imagery, but the zeugma there (5) was subtle and makes your work a marvel of intricacy despite it's overarching... eheh, arching/aching? Effective and near erotic, this was a contender.

Winner
Tough call. All three entries displayed a level of skill and talent to make me jealous and inspired at once. The challenge was to most effectively use zeugma. While each poem did just that, I feel like Hillwalker earned the win, but if any one of you visit "the whistling nun", the first drink's on me or the floor.

[BienvenuJDC]

Hillwalker....another fine piece...

[hillwalker]

Thanks krymson - your requirement for a 7-line piece did throw me for a while - and on further reflection I thought my poem might have been better posted on the 'write a really bad poem' thread.
But I appreciate the thumbs-up, and thanks to the others for making a real contest of it.

Having just recovered from writing my first terza rima I think I shall now pass the challenge on to other LitNetters.
It's not as obscure as it sounds - best-known perhaps for its use by Dante in his Inferno, Purgatory and Paradise.

The form consists of triplets or 3-line verses – line length and metre can be varied according to your own tastes
but end rhymes ARE important and have to follow a strict sequence

verse 1: A - B - A
verse 2: B – C - B
verse 3: C – D - C and so on in a continuous chain

Best of luck everybody - closing date July 1st.

[Dark Muse]

Escape

She was the one in shades of black & blue
waiting enigmatically for the final train
her poor veiled eyes watched without a clue.

Navy blue duffle bag luggage soaked in the rain
lost among the crowd and totally alone
deep inside she'll never erase the reoccurring stain.

Her eyes turn upon the clock and contemplate the phone
feeling the weight of everything that will be left behind
cold skin like cold feet and fears like her hair wind blown.

Heavy metallic doors echo through her mind
and she hesitates for what seems like a life time
jarred as suddenly the gears begin to grind.

Still hovering half-way between escape the bells chime
almost a moment too late she says a last good-bye
and prepares to enter the great unknown sublime.

[Pendragon]

Crossroads

I stood in the night rain all alone
Blinded by tears and drops of rain—
Wondering where my life vanished and gone

Known only by sorrow and enveloping pain,
A moment frozen in space and in time
Forced to relive the past again and again

It makes no sense, neither rhythm nor rhyme,
To rehash the past, to dig up the bones—
Imprisoned in darkness having committed no crime

I seek refuge here among the standing stones
Placed here by Ancients now naught but dust
Yet company of ghosts beats being alone

Their polished, sharpened steel now gone to rust,
Yet still breathe their secrets and comfort to me
It’s not always that I want to be here—I must

Seeking the shadows, seeing what I shouldn’t see,
Echoes of the intangible, faces in the mist
Is there any comfort in this world for me?

I try hard to avoid this, I try to resist
So I part the curtain of the rain and take my leave
Cold comfort indeed may live in a mist…

Pendragon
© 6/4/10

[Paulclem]

Two great poems Pendragon and Dark!

[hillwalker]

Two great poems Pendragon and Dark!

I totally agree - just a gentle reminder there are nw just two weeks left before the deadline.
Let them creative juices flow.

H

[Dark Muse]

Thank you!

[Pendragon]

And thanks from me as well... :thumbsup:

[krymsonkyng]

Breath in. Breath out.
Hit rewind and
remove all doubt

about the sand
in our hour glass.
Relax your hand,

let slack that sass
and hook a brother up.
you've filled my glass,

I'll fill your cup.
we've got all the time in the world
with which to sup.

[hillwalker]

I know picking the best from 3 is going to be difficult enough, but there is still time for others to join in - deadline 23.59 Thursday July 1st.

H

[hillwalker]

Your time is up - thanks you 3 for trying your hand at the terza rima.....

3 wonderful poems, all with their own individual strengths -

Dark Muse : straight from that opening line you captured my attention with the ambiguous phrase 'shades of black & blue' .....and I'm still not certain whether the ending refers to an escape to a better life or to oblivion.

Pendragon : another poem about a significant point in life when choices have to be made. This has a strong rhythm that seems to echo the sounds of the rain - and I loved the closing pair of lines
'So I part the curtain of rain and take my leave
Cold comfort indeed may live in a mist...'

krymsonkyng : a very original twist on the form - short, spiky lines - almost a rap - about time and fate having a quiet drink together while they contemplate another's destiny perhaps?

Difficult to choose, but Dark Muse takes the honours with 'Escape' - my favourite of the three I'll admit.

Congratulations DM, and thanks to the other two for providing such strong competition.

[zoolane]

Well done Dark Muse on your win, such worth winner.

[Dark Muse]

Oh wow thank you!

I will have the next form asap, still have to figure out what I want to choose.

[Dark Muse]

I really enjoy many of the Eastern styles of poetry and it seems outside of the haiku the great wealth of different Eastern styles are overlooked. So for this challenge I choose the Korean form known as Sijo.

The traditional Sijo is a 3 line poem that is a total of 44-46 syllables, which equals 14-16 syllables per line.

Line 1 presents a problem, beginning, question
Line 2 a development also known as a turn
Line 3 a strong conclusion with a surprise.

Here is an example of a traditional Sijo:

The spring breeze melted snow on the hills then quickly disappeared.
I wish I could borrow it briefly to blow over my hair
And melt away the aging frost forming now about my ears.
- U Tak (1262–1342)


I tentively set the deadline at July 15

[Pendragon]

The falling of Night sends icy cold deep into my lifeblood—
The desire for comfort and longing for the silent grave—
Yet the break of dawn sends promise that all is never vanished forever, a renewing hope

Pendragon

[Dark Muse]

Nicely done! Great first entry!

[hillwalker]

We spent the silent hours last night in secret slumber – then you left
I wish I knew for sure you shared my dreams and took me with you
Then I could drowse some more; secure, not due quite yet to waken

H

[Dark Muse]

Thank you for another great entry. I cannot wait to see more.

Don't be shy everyone!

[krymsonkyng]

He found Grandpa's threadbare armchair emptier without those tales
and thought a fuller wallet justified a garage sale
until his niece asked about brer rabbit. He took a seat.

[Dark Muse]

Since there has only been 3 entries thus far, though as good as they are, to try and make things a little more interesting I will extend the deadline. Since I will be gone the first week of August I will make the deadline week after.

So you now have until August 8th

[Alexander III]

There is a soft stream, in the woods, which never speaks or listens.
There is a young rascal, who every night sings to it his memoirs.
The stream never answers; yet every night he is bathed in moonshine, by the stream.

[qimissung]

Swinging, I'd go high, then lay back to look at the falling sky
Laughing, stretched out full length like a racehorse at the finish line
These days I sit, eyes turned inward, in the silent room of memory

[Hawkman]

Far beyond the mist a flute is playing a haunting melody
and the notes which drift upon the air whose tears veil the land
call to me but I still can’t see the man who stole my flute.

[Dark Muse]

*delete*

[DanielBenoit]

The Crow and the Pigeon

Culling unanimously, the hordes of nights-dwellers.
Beneath the arcane moon, they teem into lighted pubs.
As there the crow sits with the pigeon over the city grubs.


Do forgive me Dark Muse for being two or three syllables short! :S

[Dark Muse]

Wow this was really tough! There were in fact several poems which I thought would have made worthy winners and made my job as judge a most difficult one, for as we all know there can be only one ultimately declared winner. But everyone did an amazing job.

hillwalker: A beautiful poem which captures a very vivid and very touching scene which is filled with melancholy. I loved the concept expressed with the idea of the shared dream juxtaposed to the parting of the reality, and seeking peace within that private world of dreams.

krymsonkying: A very touching poem about loss and grief. I loved the way that in just a few short lines you displayed the different aspects of the character of the individual in the poem. The contrast in the lamenting and the practical. Missing the deceased and yet seeking the means of having to dispose of their belongings, I also loved how it circled back into the end with him taking his grandfather's place, and his connecting with his niece allowed him to re-evaluate his priorities.

Alexander III: I loved the way you drew from nature which is a common subject in many eastern poetry styles. You created some very lovely and almost haunting imagery, which creates a scene that feels both serene and yet seems also touched by a somberness.

qimissung: You created some lovely imagery with your poem, and it was wonderfully crafted. I particularly loved the line "stretched out full length like a racehorse at the finish line." I also thought the ending of your poem truly captured the essence of this style, as it did come completely unexpected.

Hawkman: I loved the unique direction you took with your poem. The touch of comic relief in the last line was great and it did come as a surprise. I also loved the way in which the last line seems to make the poem a parody of itself, as it stars off with this very dreary like atmosphere. A very enjoyable poem.

DanielBenoit: Your use of the word arcane moon makes up for a few short syllables *grins.* You had some great lines win your poem, and as always it was most enjoyable to read, as well as quite an original work. I particularly enjoyed the cleverness within the last line.

But after much difficult deliberation the winner is

~DRUMROLL~

Pendragon: Once again you delivered another marvelous poem. There was some stunningly beautiful imagery you produced in this rather haunting work. It was superbly crafted and I loved the way in which you turned the poem around at the end, and offered a glimpse of hope through the darkness in which the poem began. So much emotion expressed here in the use of only a few lines.

[hillwalker]

Congratulations Pen - a worthy winner, and thanks DM for setting such a challenging form, and for your insightful judgement as ever.

H

[qimissung]

Congratulations, Pendragon!

[DanielBenoit]

Congrats Pen! :D

[Pendragon]

Thanks to you all and especially to Dark Muse.

I think what I will set as the next form is this: A four stanza poem with all four stanzas written in haiku. Best of luck, deadline September 1.

[Dark Muse]

I think what I will set as the next form is this: A four stanza poem with all four stanzas written in haiku.

That sounds really cool!

[Dark Muse]

Totem

Thunderbird rises
beneath the red Eastern sky
born a guiding life.

Brother River flows
down through the Northern Mountains
carving out the Earth.

Trickster Coyote
of the Southern desert plains
swallows up the sun.

Grandmother Spider
weaves along the Western coast
spinning her star web.

[Pendragon]

Wow! A great start for this round, Dark Muse!

[DanielBenoit]

aki kinu

Dry lotus flower
Peering in the day's aubade-
A fire at night.

Winds murmur
Clothesline trembling-
Festive moon.

(Leisurely
I look up to see
The cuckoo.)

Fireworks thunder
Celebrating summer's end
By the riverside.

[NikolaiI]

Seasoned old dragon
standing at the water's edge
feels a breath of air

carried his rider
over many a mountain
in untold ages

good days and bad days
he has seen his share of them
foolish ways, and love

journey is ended
and come to rest while standing
at the water's edge.

[hillwalker]

Winter Morning

dawn light frosted trees
withered fingers reaching out
grasping silhouettes

curved lines of charcoal
fading into whitewashed sky
moon blinks behind cloud

voices in the fog,
a curlew calling itself,
an echo answers

two graceless shadows
transform into stunned angels
escaping this poem

H

[NikolaiI]

September's too long!!

[Pendragon]

September's too long!!

I'm trying to encourage more people to post a poem into the contest

[TheFifthElement]

Four seasons by the pond in Astley Park

Snowdrops by the pond
shiver in morning’s embrace
a frosted carpet

Dragonflies hover
over waters thick with perch
pulsating sunlight

Violent with colour
fallen leaves layer the pond
night is approaching

Midnight at year’s end
a blanket of ice reflects
emptiness darkness.

[Pendragon]

The Results:

Contest closed, as we have had no new entries for a few days, and anyway the deadline was tomorrow:

One of the hardest contests I’ve ever had to pass judgment upon, but here goes:

Dark Muse: I loved the Native American imagery. A wonderfully flowing poem!

DanielBenoit: Loads of traditional haiku imagery, and a well crafted poem!

NikolaiI: Poetry about dragons I really love! Excellent.

Hillwalker: Loved the mix of colors, sounds, and shapes that combine to make this poem great!

TheFifthElement: Four seasons, four delightful images! Perfect!

I wish I could give this to more than one, but I must choose, and after carefully weighing all things, the choice is: Hillwalker

Congratulations, you may choose the next form!

[TheFifthElement]

Congratulations Hillwalker. They are lovely haiku, both individually and as a set. An excellent choice.

Thanks Pendragon :D

[hillwalker]

Thank you Fifth, everybody else who took part, and of course Pendragon. The same notable adversaries keep producing such good stuff I can sympathize with your difficulties in choosing one winner.

I hope the end of the vacation season might see more taking part in this month's comp.

I've gone for a tanka - the next stage from a haiku.....
one can stick to 5 -7 - 5 - 7 - 7 as a syllable count, but tankas are not so strict, as long as you have a short-long-short-long-long sequence.

The middle line is meant to be a pivot line - so the first 3 and the last 3 can be about 2 different things (with the middle line drawing a connection perhaps) but I'll leave your imaginations to come up with your own interpretations of the form.

Deadline - I suppose four weeks today gives enough time - one minute to midnight 28th September then.

Good luck, H

[AdoreroDio]

Forget this mem'ry
I am not worth your sweet sigh
But I'll remember
each smile, each glance...in my death
I will dream of your beauty

[hillwalker]

Straight out of the starting blocks.... brilliant start.

[DanielBenoit]

aki tatsu

Squirrels leap between trees
In September full moonlight,
Crossing from one end
To another, as I walk
Smelling Autumn's bonfires.

[Dark Muse]

Solider's Heart

Death was in your eyes
with fear buried deep inside
yet your heart still beats
while each stroke cries out in pain
you know I'll always be here.

[Pendragon]

The slaves revolted—
Desperate men sought freedom:
The Romans struck fast—
Crucifixion sentences pass—
Crosses line The Appian Way...

[RaoulDuke]

She lowered her eyes
Mirroring the setting sun
As the evening light
Of their own shared existence
Faded into the twilight.

[hillwalker]

Just a reminder (more a dig in the ribs really) that anyone else considering taking part this month's deadline is one minute to midnight Tuesday 28th September.

H

[hillwalker]

The deadline has passed - let the judging begin :

5 Tankas (all adhering to the short-long-short-long-long format and 3 actually sticking to the traditional 5-7-5-7-7 form). Great stuff!

AdoreroDio - loved the title and the first 2 lines - written in such a gentle, selfless voice

DanielBenoit - the closing line in this was my favourite and the suggestion of the woods under moonlight

Dark Muse - you paint quite a melancholy image but round it off with a message of hope

Pendragon - history written as a set of headlines - a very original style, perhaps let down by line 4 that reads rather awkwardly

RaoulDuke - an evocative image of the twilight of an affair perhaps - indicated by one set of eyes unable to stay fixed on another's - and it fits the form to perfection without appearing forced.

Not the easiest of decisions to make but the winner is

RaoulDuke for such an elegant tanka.

Thanks everyone for participating.

H

[Pendragon]

Congratulations, RaoulDuke! Sorry about that awkward line, Hillwalker, but thanks for the kind words!

[hillwalker]

Sorry about that awkward line, Hillwalke

We all do it - just sometimes we read our own lines differently to the way others do. And never apologise :-)
....unless you did something wrong!

H

[RaoulDuke]

Thanks Pendragon, and of course hillwalker. "Evocative" and "elegant" are high praise for any poet and I'm thrilled that you associate the words with my tanka.

I'm going to have a browse through the lengthy history of this thread and try and come up with a form that hasn't been attempted yet, which I will post tomorrow.

[RaoulDuke]

Scratch that - a flash of inspiration and a quick "search this thread" and we're away.

Moving away from Japan but sticking with rigid syllable poems, I've opted for a rictameter (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Rictameter) - which takes the following syllabic form:

2,4,6,8,10,8,6,4,2

...with the first and last line being the same word.

I will set the deadline for 3 weeks from now; a smidgen before midnight on October 20th

[AdoreroDio]

running
towards something
a thing greater than past
perhaps my brilliant, bright future
but something holds me back from destiny
past drags me under, suffocates
fear quickens my footsteps
getting away
running

[Dark Muse]

My Jade Tears

Jade tears
bittersweet fall
raining locust blossoms,
your lingering scent haunts me still
and you face is a reoccurring dream,
the heart unfolds in rose petals,
blood on new fallen snow,
willows weeping
jade tears.

[RaoulDuke]

Crivens! Here we are post deadline day, and only two poems submitted. Well, a straight shoot-out it is then.

Thank you both for posting, I enjoyed reading and dissecting your poems.

AdoreroDio - Both the running metaphor and the image conjured of the poet quickening the pace suits the syllable pattern very well. The phrase 'Fear quickens my footsteps' is particularly descriptive.

Dark Muse - I love the oriental feel to your entry, it is mysterious and understated. I like how it describes the mix of emotions stirred up by the loss of someone close.

Enjoyed them both immensely, but my favourite is the entry by AdoreroDio.

[Dark Muse]

Because it seems AdoreroDio has gone MIA I have been asked to present the next form and try and get this thread going again.

So for your next Form Poetry Challenge I give you the Quadrilew. It is a form of a Quatrain with a rhyme of abab, alternating syllable scheme and repeating lines.

The structure follows as thus:

VERSE ONE,
Line 1, 5 syllables.
Line 2, 6 syllables.
Line 3, 5 syllables.
Line 4, 6 syllables.

VERSE TWO,
Line 1, (which is a REPEAT of line 2 of the FIRST verse) has 6 syllables.
Line 2 new line of 5 syllables
Line 3 new line of 6 syllables
Line 4 new line of 5 syllables.

VERSE THREE,
Line 1, (which is a REPEAT of line 3 of the first verse) has 5 syllables.
Line 2 new line of 6 syllables.
Line 3 new line of 5 syllables.
Line 4 new line of 6 syllables.

VERSE FOUR,
Line 1, (which is a REPEAT of line 4 of the first verse) has 6 syllables.
Line 2 new line of 5 syllables.
Line 3 new line of 6 syllables.
Line 4 new line of 5 syllables.



Deadline is pending

[YesNo]

Thoughts make ghosts appear.
They wait on us by day.
Nighttime brings them near
In dreams where some might play.

They wait on us by day,
Feeling love not fear.
Perhaps they want to say
What we want to hear.

Nighttime brings them near.
Who knows? Some of them may
Whisper in an ear
Soft mantras we could pray.

In dreams where some might play,
Nothing seems as clear
As mists that rise then stray:
Thoughts we still hold dear.

[Dark Muse]

Thank you for starting us off with a first great entry.

[Dark Muse]

I was going to wait until I got more entries to judge a good deadline date but maybe that is just making people procrastiante :toetap05:

So, the Deadline will be April 5th

[jajdude]

Way too difficult.

YesNo gets my vote.

[YesNo]

Way too difficult.

YesNo gets my vote.

:)

It is a rather complicated form. I've never seen it before, but then there are many things I have not seen before. The repeating lines remind me of villanelles and triolets.

Someone else better enter, jajdude, or the form I'll pick for the next contest is whatever "Mary Had a Little Lamb" was written in. You won't want that to happen.

[jajdude]

"villanelles and triolets"

are we speaking the same language?

[krymsonkyng]

A challenger approaches!
:p
Just need to figure out what to write about...

[Pendragon]

Destiny

The days pass like eons now
Shadows fill up each waking hour
I might face them better if I knew how
But they wait in silence my soul to devour

Shadows fill up each waking hour
With dread bringing sweat upon the brow
But they wait in silence my soul to devour
I dare not lift my weary hand from the plow

With dread bringing sweat upon the brow
I’ll go down in flames, fighting every hour
I dare not lift my weary hand from the plow
Hope whispers softly, “Weakness is power.”

But they wait in silence my soul to devour
And Death hovers close on my ship’s prow
Survival depends on living in each hour
And giving Fate a raised eyebrow

Pendragon
© Sunday, March 13, 2011

[krymsonkyng]

Monologue within
My head is empty now.
Worlds exist therein,
If only I knew how

My head is empty now.
Sleep will soon begin,
And with a silent vow
Colors start to spin.

Worlds exist therein
The dream tree's every bough.
And it is no sin
To live between the now.

If only I knew how
Dreams distilled as gin,
I'd sip and share and show,
Free the mind again.


This form was a bear, and I'm still not quite satisfied with how I tackled it... curses.

[moonbird]

Guess I'll give it a shot...




Rain


In the raven sky
A thousand falling stars
Leave silvery streaks
And shimmer with the moon.

A thousand falling stars
Fly swift as arrows;
Violinist fingers
Play nimble eighth-notes.

Leave silvery streaks
That flash in your blue eyes;
You ponder the world
With all its mysteries.

And shimmer with the moon
As a barn owl sings
And listen as the rain
Whispers on the roof.

[RaoulDuke]

Thanks for resurrecting this thread Dark Muse. A very challenging form, here is my attempt at doing it justice:


Prisms in the night
Beneath the purple moon
Weaving mystic light
Upon the cosmic loom

Beneath the purple moon
Dancing with such grace
A swirling neon plume
Phosphorescent lace

Weaving mystic light
Through whirling stellar felt
Snaking through the night
A chrysocolla belt

Upon the cosmic loom
Gaia spins her yarn
Aurora in full bloom
By the mountain tarn.

[Dark Muse]

Sorry for the delay I was preoccupied last week, but now I am here. I want to thank those who stepped up to the plate to tackle this challenging form. You have all din a great job, and had your revenge on me for making my job now twice as difficult, so here goes:

YesNo: A beautiful start to this difficult form. I loved the subject of your poem, it had an almost eerie haunting quality, but I liked the dual aspect as well in the way in which it played between nightmares and dreams and day and night, showing the different moods and effects between the two, the safety of daylight, and the vulnerability of the night. I also thought you did a good job with your just of rhyme.

krymsonkyng: Well you may not be happy with the result of your poem, but I think you have done quite well with it. You have brought your usual unique style into this difficult form which was quite enjoyable to read. I thought the first line was a great way to grab the readers interest and intrigue them, and I loved the originality of the poem, I particularly loved the line "Dreams distilled as gin,"

moonbird: First of all I have to say I thought that "In the raven sky" was a beautiful way to start the poem off, and instantly caught my attention. Your poem created a rather beautiful, mystical and elegant image. A lovely way to paint the picture of the night and it gives such a serene feeling, and I loved the line "Violinist fingers"

RaoulDuke: Another beautiful poem capturing a haunting image of the night sky. And another captivating starting line to peek my interest from the get do. You had so many great lines within your poem, but one of my favorites was "Phosphorescent lace" I loved the way in which you used such challenging words within this difficult form, and I really liked you use of the rhyme.

But the winner is.......

Pendragon: You never fail to impress and though I had a tough choice among many great poems, out of all of them yours is the one which spoke to me the most and left the most profound impression upon me. You created such vivid images in my mind. A well crafted poem from start to finish, I loved the somberness of the mood within your piece.

[Pendragon]

Thanks, Dark Muse! I'll get a form up as soon as possible.

The next form is simple. Let's do free verse, no rhyme. Make the poem at least 15 lines long. The rest is up to your imagination! Allons-y!

[moonbird]

Awesome job Pendragon! Guess I'll start us off...

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And so it begins.

[Dark Muse]

Gypsy Lace

She wove her gypsy lace
beneath a wayward moon,
as the wrinkles gathered
beneath her aging eyes.

Nimble her fingers
thread stories of the ages,
while when each colored strand
voices of the dead whispered.

She worked before the
primal firelight,
where centuries before
her ancestors once
played the melodies
upon a Roma guitar.

Where the women danced
among their flaunting veils
embolden of vibrant
unapologizing colors,
hiding not the passions
of the soul.

[Pendragon]

Nice entries so far! Keep 'em coming! :lurk5:

[mingdilly]

Day 34/40 of Lent 2011

This Lent has been quiet, calm
No relapses, no cravings to step into a store
I walk briskly through shopping malls, only groceries for dinner
do a quick lunch or pedicure
As for Facebook, I am off the hook
No need for Newsfeeds, don't want to be tagged
Highlights offline:
Lunch with chums, tea with a favourite aunt
Singing lessons! Finding my voice on the keys!
Meaningful instant messaging conversations across the seas,
across the GRCs*,
Six days more or ten . . .
I'm keeping this short
Hitting 'Send'


*GRCs--Group Representation Constituencies (or GRCs) are electoral divisions represented by multiple Parliamentary seats in one particular city-state, currently anticipating elections

[tailor STATELY]

The Sitting

You're early, my dove, how impetuous you seem.
O, count me a fool for my boldness !
Unfrock yourself of your cloak, my dove, and lay it by the fire. Please
repair to the sitting room once more.

The ghost walks, I'll warrant - judging the coin purse you've given me.
Indulge me, my dove, as I gather my paints.
My heart is aquiver from love's misspent shafts. Do not fail me now !
Enchanting. Allow me to move the fauteuil to better capture the light.

Is your master well? He is generous to a fault.
Sit so. Chin up. Up, as I finish your painting.

Gold. Aureolin gold to match your soul as a final wash
of watercolour to finish your portrait.
Never so lovely.
Never so lovely.
And done. Now indulge me one last thing.

Come sup with me one last time, my dove,
of jonquil root, leaf, flower, and sage;
made fresh for our repast. To steal you away as mine.
Eternity ! Breathe deep the heady savoury, my dove. And sleep.

[Pendragon]

4/30/2011 is the deadline for entries. Make sure your voice is heard! Write today! :grouphug:

[Pendragon]

moonbird Nice run on the modern "post every little thing on line" and/or love connection!

mingdilly You seem to be a newcomer here, so may I welcome you! Lent is a trying time on all who observe it, nice little poem!

tailor STATELY You seemed to have a conversation going if I read this right, between the bold lines and not bold lines. A very neat style!

But I am going to have to go for:

DARKMUSE What can I say, this poem left me speechless! I think the breaks into stanzas really set this poem apart. The subject, WOW! That is all I can say!

You're up, Muse!

[Dark Muse]

Thank you very much! I will have to consider what to choose for the next form.

[moonbird]

Congrats Dark Muse!

[Dark Muse]

Thank you!

[tailor STATELY]

Excellent choice. Congratulations Dark Muse !


tailor STATELY You seemed to have a conversation going if I read this right, between the bold lines and not bold lines. A very neat style!

Yes. The italics were to show the mind of the artist as he uncomfortably has his ex-lover in her final/finishing sitting for a portrait to be given to his rival. He also converses with the ex-lover w/ her responses left out as superfluous.


Aureolin gold to match your soul as a final wash
of watercolour to finish your portrait.
Using aureolin gold as a watercolour would darken & fade the portrait after a little time. [note: as an oil paint aureolin gold is stable; not so as a watercolour http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Aureolin.]

I used a song title by Led Zeppelin http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Your_Time_Is_Gonna_Come "Your time is gonna come" spelled out using the first letter of each line (at least @ 100% browser viewing).

Of course this is a murder/suicide in the eating of the repast - the jonquil being poisonous by root and leaf http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Narcissus_(plant); the "master" ultimately being left with a dead lover and a portrait that will fade and darken.

Ta ! (short for tarradiddle),
tailor STATELY

[Dark Muse]

Thank you!

[Dark Muse]

Well I was somewhat inspired by Pendragon here, and I am choose for the next "form"

Experimental

Be as creative and unique as possible, seek outside your comfort zone, challenge just what a poem is. Push the boundaries on structure, word use, subject matter.

Pretty much anything goes as long as it goes against the traditional conventions of how or what a poem should be.

Deadline May 15

[moonbird]

Here you go. Read and interpret as you choose.


put the bottle to my lips watch him with numbly dont have to feel its cold glass as he presses the bottle against my skin to his lips not for much longer yet again soon it will be swallows it down warmed with the radiating some slips down heat of my flesh his cheek and drips like melting its shining sweat amber raindrops down sliding down its neck his throat tracing clutching it so hard i fear the bulging purple veins it will break that only show and stab my hand when hes like this with its biting fingers the disgusting residue dont think i would of what once was notice if it did

[Pendragon]

Cinderella

It’s about time you faced up to reality, young lady!
Fairy Godmothers do not exist!
That’s not a fine gown from Sak’s Fifth Avenue.
You’re wearing rags! Filthy rags, ya hear?
You are not riding in a limo, nor a coach.
It’s a pumpkin, Stupid!
Those aren’t fine thoroughbreds.
Mice! They’re mice!
And there are not and never have been any glass slippers.
You’re barefoot, for God’s sake!
I’m sorry.
But, then again, fantasies have never hurt anyone—
that is—until Midnight…

Pendragon

[Pendragon]

I used a song title by Led Zeppelin http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Your_Time_Is_Gonna_Come "Your time is gonna come" spelled out using the first letter of each line (at least @ 100% browser viewing).


Ta ! (short for tarradiddle),
tailor STATELY

Yes, I see that now: Your Time is Gonna Come! You know, I almost made this a name poem, spelling along the first line. Had I noticed this, it would have been a much harder decision on the winning poem!

[Dark Muse]

The deadline for this one was supposed to be today but as there are only two entries I am going to extend the deadline to the end of the month.

Come now don't be intimidated by this one. It is your chance to do anything you want and break all the rules.

I know there are some innovative poets around here.

[Delta40]

You can crawl through the
the ear drums of a
New York Beatle
wriggling on the ground.
The sound of being erased.
a single blow to the chest
is ultimately silent.
In hindsight, slow motion is king.
His woman falters in disbelief,
Long black hair spreadeagles
at two strands per minute
A life is lost among taxis, sirens
and thick pollution.
Now he is dung

[Dark Muse]

Thanks to those who were brave enough to rise up this challenge. It was quite a fun one and I looked forward to seeing just whatever would come up with. A bit hard to judge becasue of the great difference between them, and becasue it was so open, but I have for better or worse made my choice.

moonbird: I give you props for being the most creative and out of the box with the structure or lack there of, of your poem. I think that you took the experimental the farthest and was the most daring. At first I found the poem a bit awkward in reading, but as I continued I discovered that it actually did have a rhythm to it which I quite enjoyed. Also I could not help a bit of a chuckle at some of the allusions which the poems seems to be suggesting. Quite an interesting read.

Delta40: A rather interesting and original poem, I am still not sure I entirely understand its meaning, but none the less I still enjoyed reading it, and at points could not help but think of Kafka's "Metamorphosis" I do like the rather different perspective which the poem take. I really enjoyed the ending, it was like a day in the life of a bug in the city, and yet I also cannot help but wonder if there is some greater symbolic meaning here. A poem to be read over more than once.

And the winner goes to.......

Pendragon: Your poem had me laughing hysterically. The whole time I was reading it I could hear the voice of the evil step mother speaking. I liked your reinvention of the common fairy tale, and I really enjoyed the way in which you also brought it into the modern world. A very entertaining poem.

[jajdude]

Well done Pen.

Will try to enter one of these form contests yet.

[moonbird]

Congrats Pendragon!

[Pendragon]

Thanks, guys. Hummm... form?

OK, straight Shakespearian sonnet, shall we say with an archaic style of language (think Chaucer here.) Might be fun!

[Pendragon]

No takers? I'm shocked!

[YesNo]

I guess I missed this one.


Killing What Thy Lover Loves

Like Juno loves to punish wayward Jove
By killing what he loves, I'm just as mean.
Those naked nymphs thou hidest in thy grove
Wilst feel fresh hate few nymphs have ever seen.

They'll wish they all were comfortably dead,
But thou shalt watch them scream to my delight.
When death doth take them off to Hades' bed
Their nightmares wilst forever stink of fright.

And thou who thought those nymphs were more than me,
Thy queen, old fart, they die now in thy place
So thou mightst love me just as I love thee
Then cringe when I stare down thy ugly face.

Yea, love means thou dost what, my love, I say.
Thy nymph of choice hath died this sunny day.

[Pendragon]

Wow! Excellent start! More! More! :smash::smash::smash:

[tailor STATELY]

Working on it; 1 - very rough draft down.
... got nuthin.

[IceM]

The lady dost love those with threads
whose golden satin shines with time,
whose silk linens coat their beds,
whose eloquent phrases match their rhyme.

The French perfumes adorn her neck,
and Spanish take her plaec to place.
Gold or pyrite--it matters not--
that which gleams gets her heart to race.

With every jewel, there comes a key
to the treasure within her chest.
Beware, for all that which you seek
is lost; her lavish soul lies bereft.

Her current fashion hides the tale
of barren landscapes up for sale.

[jajdude]

Upon Regret, my friend, let's say no more,
It strikes our futile hearts in vain;
It steals our joy and leaves us poor,
Our brimful cheer now 'mersed in pain.

The shadow steals beneath the rock,
The moon hath hid his timid face,
The key now broken in its lock
Hath left us in disgrace.

So rise, my friend, and cast aside
The empty sorrow that serves no good,
Save thy fret for another tide,
And be my brother, as thou should.

We shall regret more in times to come,
Meanwhile let us smile and be numb.

[Pendragon]

Anybody else? Muse?

[Dark Muse]

Anybody else? Muse?

Alas, you have found my one weakness. Iambic pentameter is my kryptonite of poetry.

[moonbird]

Alas, you have found my one weakness. Iambic pentameter is my kryptonite of poetry.

Same here, Dark Muse. I made an attempt at this one and failed completely.

[Pendragon]

OKaaaaay....

I think Yesno nailed down the win with the first entry. I know I have read it and reread it. And I enjoyed it more each time!

jajdude I enjoyed your poem with its continued reminder of the regrets we have in life. Well done.

IceM Your poem was kinda like the Song of Solomon. I kept waiting to see the words "My beloved". Excellent love sonnet. Well Done

But the prize goes to Yesno Congrads!

[YesNo]

Thanks, Pendragon!

For the next contest, the form is common meter or common measure.

Each stanza contains 4 lines. It has an alternating meter, that is, one syllable is unaccented and the next accented. The first and third lines have 4 accents. The second and fourth have either 3 or 4 accents. There is also rhyme on the second and fourth lines and optionally on the first and third.

Deadline: July 31

Here are some examples many people know with bold used to mark the accent and color used to mark the rhymes.

Mary had a little lamb.
It's fleece was white as snow
And everywhere that Mary went
The lamb was sure to go.

The second is a stanza from John Newton's Amazing Grace:

Amazing Grace, how sweet the sound,
That saved a wretch like me.
I once was lost but now am found,
Was blind, but now I see.

[Pendragon]

Yee-ouch! I'm hopeless with foot and meter! :sick:

[YesNo]

You can do it! :)

Four lines of iambic tetrameter is all you need. One stanza.

[moonbird]

Guess I'll give it a shot... Someone else please submit one so this poor attempt doesn't win by default.


Colored windows, blues and golds,
They shatter, tinkling down
Like rain of wind-chimes to the floor
Or God's great wrath unbound.

[YesNo]

Nice one, moonbird!

[YesNo]

16 days until the contest ends!

Dorothy Parker used to write some of her poems in common meter. Here are just two examples.

Parable For A Certain Virgin: http://www.poemhunter.com/poem/parable-for-a-certain-virgin/

The Red Dress: http://www.poemhunter.com/poem/the-red-dress/

[YesNo]

There are a few more days left to submit a poem written in common measure.

Deadline: July 31.

[moonbird]

Come on guys, give it a shot. I refuse to win by default.

[YesNo]

A little over one day to submit an entry, otherwise moonbird wins by default, but it is a worthy entry for a winner. :)

[YesNo]

Congratulations, moonbird! You won! Although it is by default, the entry was still a good one.

I liked the idea, if I got it right, of God's wrath breaking stained glass windows. I suspect they would sound like wind chimes when they hit the ground. It seems like the explosion came from outside the building since the fragments landed on the "floor".

[moonbird]

Thank you, YesNo. Hopefully we get more entries this time.

The next form will be one of my favorites: the Palindrome Poem, also known as the Mirror Poem.

To explain this I will show you a rather simple example:

Mornings
fresh and clear
makes sunrise spectacular
with birds chirping
- GLORIOUS -
chirping birds with
spectacular sunrise makes
clear and fresh
mornings.

As you can see the second verse is simply a reversal of the first. The order of the lines is reversed as well as the order of the words on each line. You may also choose to only reverse the order of the lines and not the words. An excellent example of this is called "Lost Generation." The link to it is posted below.

http://johnlunchbox.blogspot.com/2010/02/lost-generation-palindrome.html

If you would like an even greater challenge, there is another type of palindrome poem, in that is it is a poem made entirely out of palindrome phrases. If you search for Demetri Martin on Google you will find an example of this called "Dammit I'm Mad." I have never been able to complete one but feel free to give it a shot.

I expect many interesting poems out of this one. Dealine is August 31. Good luck!

[Dark Muse]

Midnight Dreams

Moonlight dancing
whispering waters
shimmering softly
reflecting memories
through eyes mystique
mirror-glass dreams
hush graceful
nights fluttering
down
fluttering nights
graceful hush
dreams glass-mirror
mystique eyes through
memories reflecting
softly shimmering
waters whispering
dancing moonlight.

[YesNo]

I took the easy way out and just reversed the lines as in the link you provided, moonbird, and I used a nonsense triolet I wrote some years ago that already had plenty of line repetitions.

In case anyone's concerned, I don't have a beer belly nor do I drink beer often, but I suspect after a few rounds the following might even make sense to me.



How He Got His Beer Belly

I like to drink a bitter beer
Before I go to bed,
And when I hear my baby near
I like to drink a bitter beer
To help me clear my head.
To soften all the things she said,
I like to drink a bitter beer
Before I go to bed.

Before I go to bed
I like to drink a bitter beer
To soften all the things she said,
To help me clear my head.
I like to drink a bitter beer.
And when I hear my baby near
Before I go to bed
I like to drink a bitter beer.

[moonbird]

Two awesome entries. Keep em coming.

[Pendragon]

ALONE ON BALD MOUNTAIN

Fog rises, shadows deepen,
somewhere—wolves howl.
Pulse quickens as branches crackle,
Slinking shadow passes.
Startled, heart races—
loneliness and fear descend.
Wolves howl closer.
Eyes dart everywhere—
Nothing! Fog and dark…

Dark and fog—nothing!
Everywhere dart eyes.
Closer howl wolves.
Descend fear and loneliness,
races heart—startled.
Passes shadow, slinking.
Crackle branches as quickens pulse.
Howl wolves—somewhere!
Deepen shadows, rises fog…

Pendragon

[tailor STATELY]

Yes/No - I think you've gotten your last two lines reversed.

This form is tougher than I thought. I'll keep at it.

Ta ! (short for tarradiddle),
tailor STATELY

[YesNo]

Yes/No - I think you've gotten your last two lines reversed.

Yes, I did. I fixed it. Thanks!

I agree this form is difficult, especially if you reverse the individual words in each line and not just reverse the lines as I did.

[moonbird]

Two weeks left to submit entries. More more more!

[moonbird]

One more week. Only three giving it a shot?

[moonbird]

Well, I was almost on time. Here are your results.

Dark Muse: A very eerie, elegant piece. It's hard to keep this style of poetry from sounding awkward with all the reversing, but you did a nice job of pulling it off.

YesNo: This reminded me of a country song, although I suppose anything mentioning beer more than once would have that effect. A cute and original poem, nicely done.

I enjoyed both these poems but to me the oustanding piece of the three was...

Pendragon: Wow. It amazed me how smoothly this read. You really captured the essense of the palindrome poem, in that the second verse should not only be a reversal of the first in literal terms but also in the story it tells. This poem had a nice rhythmical flow to it and I thoroughly enjoyed reading it. Well done!

[Pendragon]

Thank you, Moonbird! I used to write a lot of these, calling them "Reversibles"!

Let's see...

Let's go with the villanelle. Here's a sample to go by:

Final Breath

She softly exhaled her final breath,
and a peaceful smile lit up her face.
The silence echoed like the laugh of Death,

and I felt bad for wishing that he’d been sure and swift
and not let her suffer so. I knelt to give her one last embrace.
She softly exhaled her final breath,

Leaving me feeling lonely, sad and bereft,
with no one to help me run life’s race.
The silence echoed like the laugh of Death,

this invisible creature that had come, taken her, and left
only her memories to fill up the space.
She softly exhaled her final breath,

And I held her hand and desperately wished
that I might somehow take her place.
The silence echoed like the laugh of Death—

well, he’d taken the best wife in the whole length and breadth
of the universe—in any place.
She softly exhaled her final breath—
The silence echoed like the laugh of Death…

Pendragon

[Dark Muse]

Harvest Moon

An ember burning in the night
they dance around her celestial fire
divine in her own right.

Orange gold glowing bright
she is the mother to inspire
an ember burning in the night.

Mans eternal guiding light
to reap what he may require
divine in her own right.

The last hope before winter's blight
embrace your own desire
an ember burning in the night.

Seer of the ancient sight
she watched mans first struggle in the mire
divine in her own right.

Now a blaze of glory to delight
before from the world light must retire
an ember burning in the night
divine in her own right.

[YesNo]

The Old Cow

The old cow sees the truck parked at the door.
An unchained cow's removed by some decree.
The others moan goodbye. Their voices soar.

And all her calves they took from her before
They were too old: she hopes they now are free.
The old cow sees the truck parked at the door.

There was that heifer, just a calf, she bore
Who stayed until she got a crippled knee.
The others moan goodbye. Their voices soar.

But everyone's afraid of what's in store
With no one who would listen to a plea.
The old cow sees the truck parked at the door.

Last month she lost her friend she wanted more
Than all the hay or grain that she could see.
The others moan goodbye. Their voices soar.

And this time it is she who walks the floor.
Her head is high, resigned. Just let it be.
The old cow sees the truck parked at the door.
The others moan goodbye. Their voices soar.

[moonbird]

The fire licks the metal air
Through twisting waves of clotted smoke
And putrid stench of burning hair

The window drinks the burning air
A gaping mouth that never chokes
The fire licks the metal air

The sun shines down its searing stare
A yellowed eye, a rotten yoke
And putrid stench of burning hair

And tightens round my throat a snare
With poison is my palet soaked
The fire licks the metal air

I lean into the shining square
Salvation from the viper's stroke
And putrid stench of burning hair

And then I step into the air
Clean air wraps round me like a cloak
The fire licks the metal air
And putrid stench of burning hair

[Pendragon]

The contest will be judged September 30th. If you haven't entered, there is still time. You must enter to win! :drool5:

[Pendragon]

As we have had no activity on this page since 9/21/2011, I will go ahead and pass judgment

First of all, everyone should be proud of their poems, if it wasn't for the difficulties it would cause, there would be a three-way tie! Honestly!

But in the end there can only be one...

Dark Moon: I loved the tight, well written poem, especially the wrap-up:


Now a blaze of glory to delight
before from the world light must retire
an ember burning in the night
divine in her own right.

YesNo: Again it was the ending that got me, the doomed cow, headed to the slaughter, it's mates saying a final goodbye.


And this time it is she who walks the floor.
Her head is high, resigned. Just let it be.
The old cow sees the truck parked at the door.
The others moan goodbye. Their voices soar.



moonbird Your wrap-up was spectacular! Really loved the way your poem seemed open to interpretation, perhaps no two people getting the same thing out of it.


And then I step into the air
Clean air wraps round me like a cloak
The fire licks the metal air
And putrid stench of burning hair

The winner, just a matter of personal taste, you all nailed the poem and form is: ***moonbird***! Congrads!
:cheers2:

[moonbird]

Thank you, Pendragon!

I forgot to add that my poem was dedicated to the 9-11 victims. Rest in peace each innocent life taken from us on that day.

And on to the next contest! The form for this one will be the etheree. In this form a poem begins with 10 syllables; the next line will have 9, the next one 8, and so on all the way down to 1. You can also choose to go the reverse order, beginning at 1 and ending at 10. Here's an example to clarify:

Claustrophobia

The party is crammed with swaying bodies.
They dance, music blasts from the speakers.
Wall to wall, shoulder to shoulder.
The smell of booze and cologne.
Trapped—There’s no escape.
The whole room spins,
Bleeds color,
Fading
Out.

I'll set a tentative deadline for October 20. Good luck!

[Dark Muse]

Mr. Blues

Seduction, a smokey haze in his eyes
he plays like caressing a woman,
piano keys moan at his touch
with fingers born for the blues,
he sings with soul so smooth
shades of regret and
cherisher charm
the promise
of his
lips

[Pendragon]

I'm horrible at counting syllables so I think I must set this one out. Interesting form, though. I'll be interested to see what my fellow poets make of it!

[krymsonkyng]

I hate Alice in Wonderland syndrome.
One minute I am so powerful,
gargantuan and enormous!
but then I can't escape
that shrinking feeling.
It's creeping in
until I'm
inches
tall.

[moonbird]

Two awesome entries so far. Two more weeks to submit!

[moonbird]

One more week.
Only two are willing to give it a shot?

[Pendragon]

Conflagration-- the universe burns
The Flame of Creation set alight
From nothing comes true substance
From the void life emerges
Questions always remain--
Whence came the first spark
Coincidence?
Higher power?
Chance--or
God?

Pendragon

[RaoulDuke]

Swimming backstroke in the fountain of youth,
Drowning in the shallows of city sludge -
Like vultures our eyes follow prey
Burning with endless hunger,
Haunted by the shadows
Of sidewalk angels;
In the shadows
We sit and,
Addicted,
Wait.

[jajdude]

I started counting all the syllables
And thus forgot to write something good.
When form overtakes the message
The end result may be weak.
Anyway, I wrote this.
Does it qualify?
Does it matter?
I guess not.
Here is
Mine.

[moonbird]

Dark Muse: Original idea and had a nice flow to it.

krymsonkyng: A unique take on a well-known aspect of Alice in Wonderland.

Pendragon: Very interesting interpretation of the Big Bang.

RaoulDuke: Dark, I like it. I also liked how the poem had an attractive shape to it.

jajude: A very humorous and ironic way of poking some fun at such a restrictive form. Nicely done.

And your winner is...

Pendragon! Being a huge astrophysics buff I couldn't help liking your poem. My favorite line was: "The Flame of Creation set alight." Congrats.

[Pendragon]

Thanks, Moonbird! I think I will assign a Pantoum as the next form. Instructions for writing one are here: http://volecentral.co.uk/vf/pantoum.htm

Good luck, contest ends November 15th.

[YesNo]

Autumn Walking

The wind blows rain into my face.
October days are turning cold.
I walk regretting my slow pace.
The rainfall hurts. I'm growing old.

October days are turning cold.
There's no one waiting up tonight.
The rainfall hurts. I'm growing old
And darkness follows every light.

There's no one waiting up tonight
Although today I'm not alone
And darkness follows every light.
I have no need for what I own.

Although today I'm not alone:
There was that angel sprinkling grace.
I have no need for what I own.
I only want to see her face.

[Pendragon]

Yo! Where all the poets at? Must we have a win by default? Is no one else interested? Say it ain't so, Joe!

[Dark Muse]

I wanted to enter this one, but I have been having trouble coming up with what I want to write about and had other stuff come out. I will try and enter something before it is too late.

[Dark Muse]

Death's Romance

Death beckons my soul
to take me sweetly away
into my dreams he stole
in his embrace I must stay.

To take me sweetly away
we danced with the night
in his embrace I must stay
given to immortal delight.

We danced with the night
on the edge life and death
given to immortal delight
upon his lips lives my breath.

On the edge of life and death
among shadows we dwell
upon his lips lives my breath
until the stroke of midnight's bell.

[krymsonkyng]

I've taken two stabs at it, and couldn't get past the second stanza. This one's pretty tough, but third time and all that...

[krymsonkyng]

"Insert twenty five cents for fun"
The fee paid, I punch the button.
The screen reads "Ready player one!"
and I ready the plastic gun.

The fee paid, I punch the button
to select which level is one
and I ready the plastic gun.
I shoot zombified aliens.

To select which level is one
is all of the thinking I've done.
I shoot zombified aliens
to create corpses by the ton.

Is all the thinking I've done
Undone by my violent run?
To create corpses by the ton
for a binge gaming marathon.

Undone by my violent run,
"Insert twenty five cents for fun."
For a binge gaming marathon
The screen reads "Ready player one!"

(When challenged, get silly!)

[Pendragon]

OK, OK, lets just end this. I saw where the pantoum was considered the most difficult poem style by the writer of the article to which I referred you. The weird thing is, he doesn't even have the form totally right, according to my Poetry Writer's Handbook. As I have written many pantoums, I thought something seemed strange with your entries, but I must judge by the example by which I myself gave you to go.

The problem lies in the last verse. A pantoum may be as short as three stanzas, or as long as you can keep the thought going, but the final verse must use the two lines from the first stanza that have not been repeated so far. Assuming a three stanza poem, the last line goes:
3.1, 1.1, 3.3, 1.3, or a variation, 3.1, 1.3,3.3, 1.1

So much for technique, now to the poetry:

YesNo

Wise choice in your initial repeating lines:


The wind blows rain into my face.
October days are turning cold.
I walk regretting my slow pace.
The rainfall hurts. I'm growing old.

This left room for a lot of flexibility. Well done.

DarkMuse

I really liked these very descriptive lines:


We danced with the night
on the edge life and death
given to immortal delight
upon his lips lives my breath.

And as is your forte, you created another beautiful, moving poem. Great job!

KrymsonKyng

I give you great job on the humor, but by the second verse you have already missed the rhyme scheme, not by a little, but by a mile!


The fee paid, I punch the button
to select which level is one
and I ready the plastic gun.
I shoot zombified aliens.

So what we have is an hilarious little gem of a poem that unfortunately has to be disqualified because this contest speaks as to form.

So I declare DarkMuse to be the winner! Congratulations! :hurray::hurray::hurray:

Perhaps DarkMuse will give us a less stressful form!

Pen

[Dark Muse]

Thank you and hopefully people will not find my choosen form to be so difficult.

[Dark Muse]

Ok your next form is the Haibun.

It is a Japanese form which combines haiku with prose writing. The haiku should not repeat the imagery used in the prose but should loosely link to or juxtapose the prose. How the two elements are combined is up to you.

This site provides examples of different Haibun's:

http://contemporaryhaibunonline.com/

Deadline: Dec. 5th

[Pendragon]

I'm composing one, Muse. Hang in there!

[Pendragon]

The squirrels run down the tree, eager for the feast of peanuts I brought them

I often sit here at the park in town, just enjoying the peace and quiet. The squirrels know me well by now. A cheeky little female sniffs at my shoe. A very fat little gray fuzzball sits on the table opposite mine, munching away at a peanut, and mooching me for another. It is a wonderful day!

Gray flashes circle the trees, playing hide and go seek peering at me

I feel something touch my leg. It is an over-eager male grey squirrel that looks up at my startled face. I toss a peanut and he catches it midair. By now I have about seven furry little customers. I wonder if they would be bold enough to take one from my fingers.

Grey sentinels watch
For the thieving crows that snatch
Four nuts at a time

Really terrific to see how much they trust me. I am gonna need a bigger bag of nuts next time. Perhaps pistachios?

[Dark Muse]

I know many of us have probably been busy lately, but no other takers willing to give this a shot?

[IceM]

I will do my best to have a poem completed in the coming days.

[sundarramchand]

Here is my try (after a long gap) at using rhyme

Essentially follows the pattern of "3 rhymes with 1 and 2 with 4" in 1 2 3 4 with variations to break the monotony either of the form " 3 rhymes with 2 and 1 with 4" or rarely of the form "1 with 2 and 3 with 4"

Loving an Amazon

There she was,
The rough tomboy
Could ride the horse
And float with the buoys

This was her fourth
Of many such
Delicate ways as befits a court
And Amazonian (yet maternal and feminine) ways like a butch

A cloth around her neck tied
Like an adventuring fisherwoman dressed
Dagger against her dress pressed
Her opponents like brides cried

Could gut the whale
And cut the wolf rabid
Take care of her followers avid
Yet tame and shear the recalcitrant male

She takes her fifth shot
I am struggling with my second
Her scars the “medals” from battles fought
Mine arise from feelings for her heightened

She treats me by turns
As a fool, a stool pigeon, a clown
And at times an idiot to be controlled by treatment stern
Or more often ridiculed and humiliated for the edification of the town

She hoists me up to be exhibited like in statues
In tarred finery, hugging mannequins
Prompting me to ask : Is My love for her fatuous ?
Am I doomed to be hoisted on pedestals only to be let down by my self indulgent sins

One day, like a painted and (pinned and pained) bird,
I rise on the wings of my feeling seared
I cry out both for myself and the amazon I have loved
Who across the oceans of the world has rowed

Like a swarthy female version of Othello
Myself the male Desdemona to whom she at last consents
To relate the tales of the seas , black to yellow
Through which she has sailed up to times present
The characters whom she has met , rascals and saints
And of every hue in between
Her tales were enough to give a delicate lad like me the faints
Telling of a world beyond what he had ever seen

She wonders and marvels at my innocence
Like a diver , she means to torment and bully me out of my shell
And extract the pearls of good sense
That lies buried in my dell

At last we give way to the feelings of mutual affection and love
A mating like that between land and sea
Between the fiery eagle and a gentle dove
Each loving the other, both know “Who is me ?”
The Amazon warrior in star like hues her lover dyed
Who in pain filled ecstasy cried

Zen like In the morning after,
Things are the same fore and after,
The sun still shines, the birds still sing
But the lovers view it as the beginning of eternal spring

[sundarramchand]

I somehow feel that 1 rhymes with 2 and 3 with 4 and so on seems to catch the ear the most unless more advanced devices are employed ( as in multiple voices in music , drama , opera etc) to reinforce the rhythm

[Pendragon]

Here is my try (after a long gap) at using rhyme

Essentially follows the pattern of "3 rhymes with 1 and 2 with 4" in 1 2 3 4 with variations to break the monotony either of the form " 3 rhymes with 2 and 1 with 4" or rarely of the form "1 with 2 and 3 with 4"



And this fits the stated form by DarkMuse exactly how?

[krymsonkyng]

Quick question:
May I use my haiku from the minimalist poetry contest since, for me, the prose is the meat of the poem?

[Dark Muse]

Quick question:
May I use my haiku from the minimalist poetry contest since, for me, the prose is the meat of the poem?

I will allow you to use that Haiku since you will still have to write and original prose.

[sundarramchand]

Okay, the format suggested by Dark Muse seems to be as follows :

a, b and d rhyme with c's theme (in the sense of rhyme) being continued in e f and h in the following 4 line stanza pattern.

"a b c d e f g h"


This seems to bring about some continuity

OK, in my case, i had already written the poem and for me (coming from rhyme less poetry), the images / themes are key and i tried to fit it in the current framework

Would my form come close to a sonnet or some other known theme ? I tried to base it on what i felt was the key motif of a sonnet " a-c , b-d " kind of pattern

[Dark Muse]

Okay, the format suggested by Dark Muse seems to be as follows :

a, b and d rhyme with c's theme (in the sense of rhyme) being continued in e f and h in the following 4 line stanza pattern.

"a b c d e f g h"


This seems to bring about some continuity

OK, in my case, i had already written the poem and for me (coming from rhyme less poetry), the images / themes are key and i tried to fit it in the current framework

Would my form come close to a sonnet or some other known theme ? I tried to base it on what i felt was the key motif of a sonnet " a-c , b-d " kind of pattern

Where did you get that from?

The form I propsed was as follows:


Ok your next form is the Haibun.

It is a Japanese form which combines haiku with prose writing. The haiku should not repeat the imagery used in the prose but should loosely link to or juxtapose the prose. How the two elements are combined is up to you.

This site provides examples of different Haibun's:

http://contemporaryhaibunonline.com/

Deadline: Dec. 5th

Nothing about rhyme or stanzas or sonnets in there.

[krymsonkyng]

On a tour through the Cave of the Winds, a couple cozies up to railing.

The melted wax of stalactites takes on the lighting's colors, red and gold and blue. Not much further in, a tunnel narrows and trails back into the Earth's depths.

"Now," says the tour guide "I'm going to turn off the lights. No light from the surface can reach down here, so we will experience absolute darkness. It can be a little disorienting. For your safety please stand still until the lights come on."

For a minute they are transported to a world of sounds. The dry air carries the tap tap dripping of eternities worth of stone under construction. In this false night, the couple kisses until their return.


Up close and open
jagged colored edges that surround
smiling black

[Dark Muse]

Today was the original intended deadline but since there are really own two entries, and I know another expressed an interest in wanting to submit something I will extend the deadline. For now I will not propose an official end time so feel free to keep posting.

[tailor STATELY]

For Emily (Happy Birthday)

When I think of flowers in a garden
my thoughts stray to dear Emily
and her bitter-sweet tears
As death mulled her years time was
measured with sweet mordents
of poetry with a hint of Spring
brightened with bird song...
Some sorrowful; all eternal




Chestnut lock of hair

.... A hint of nosegay still sweet


After all these years


:tailor STATELY

[IceM]

Because of health concerns, I will not be able to complete an entry for this competition.

[Pendragon]

Sorry to hear that you are ill. Will pray. God bless

Pen

[Dark Muse]

Because I do not know how much time I will have for judging this month and so not to leave people hanging I decided to set the deadline for January 1st.

[Dark Muse]

Thank you everyone who entered. This one was very close, and I almost did not want to have to choose only one winner. But it had to be done.

Pendragon: A very playful and endearing poem. I really enjoyed reading this one, and it gave me a chuckle or two. I thought you did a very could job of capturing the feeling of an Autumn day. I could visualize it so perfectly. I loved the different personalities you gave to the squirrels . this one had such a relaxing feeling to it.

krymsonkyng: I really enjoyed the atmosphere you created for this poem. The juxtaposition between the darkness and the romance I thought worked out well. The poem built up a certain feeling of anticipation. I loved the imagery and I thought you really transported the reader into the cave.

And the winner is....

tailor STATELY: A beautiful and elegant poem. I thought this was beautifully written. It painted such a vivid picture and had such a feeling of sadness and nostalgia to it. I thought your haiku paired perfectly with the verse. There was an elegant flow between the two different styles. I think you really captured the essence of the form.

[Pendragon]

Thanks for the feedback, Dark Muse!

And tailor STATELY! Two "knock it out of the ballpark wins in a row! Nice job, mon ami! :seeya:

[tailor STATELY]

2 ? (takes time to peruse other threads... cool !)

Thank you ! and congratulations to all that entered. I really enjoyed this form and will revisit it often.

For the next form I would like to try the abstract form.

From http://www.poetrybase.info/forms/003/359.shtml
Poetry based on conveying emotion rather than thought, using textures, sounds, rhythms, etc. rather than making sense.

At least 10 lines long.

Let your imaginations run rampant.

Ta ! (short for tarradiddle),
tailor STATELY

[YesNo]

Congratulations, tailor STATELY. I don't know if this fits the abstract form, but here it goes:


The Quest for Gweneloup

Immersed by waters ever walking
Gurgleberg is oozing red.
Mindlessly the mind keeps talking,
Drivel-gray. He's being led
Where peace is bound and still he's stalking
Gweneloup who's long been dead,
Or so those angry maggots said.
They exited her lovely head.
But when he and his bride have wed
Would the earth refresh their bed?

Would the wonder of the season
Been enough, but who can tell?
Come, don't cry. There is no treason.
Sometimes lovers land in hell
For a while for any reason.
Life is just a wishing well
Where the darkness churns a spell
That is where those heroes fell.
Hear the stinging of the bell:
Wedding day as waters swell.

[Dark Muse]

This is my first attempt at this form, so hopefully I grasped the basic concept behind it.


We Danced in the Rain

I have become
--undone---
a reflec-
tion
of your face
tinted in plum.

A fist
like a bruise
(Southern Comfort)
amber in the glass
you laughed
at my frat-
ernity
class.

and all our dreams
are gone
of living on the moon

It was over too soon
but we danced
a moment or
two in the rain.

Now I speak for you
a memory from the past
or have you become me.

It is all a lie
based upon a vague
fac-
simility of
(truth)

[Pendragon]

descent

hurling down the dark, empty roadway
in a vehicle hung in high gear;
the horn blares only silently,
the brakes failed long ago,
the steering forever locked into a reckless course
leading towards a hairpin curve
that traverses the edge of a two-hundred foot drop
into the smoke-filled abyss…

pendragon

[Pendragon]

um... BUMP?

[cacian]

truffles of love
chuckle the hearts
laughters of joy
tearless they fall
sound like a prayer
symbols of far
further the truth
simple is life
that lets you
find
rivers and air
such is the care
made out of fair
that leads you out
carefree and lush
fanciful hair
beauty is dared
waving at earth
stars are the soul
the eyes behold.

[tailor STATELY]

I'll give this contest 1-more week - final entries by 12:00 mid-night tSst ( tailor STATELY standard time ) February 7th.

Ta ! (short for tarradiddle),
tailor STATELY

[jajdude]

In the night fog of the unremembered the whistle screams of the unwanted,
down trails of the abandoned, where desires chase shadows until the cruel daylight enters and grabs you at your lonesome, throws you across the room into the streets of the hollow-eyed seekers hungry for the bread of complacency, their web-filled notions bleed into conspiracies of consistent so-called conservatism, a thin sheet over their fears, and the walking self that changes little is anchored in decay, prone to repetition and faulty fading senses.

[MarkBastable]

Back


When she texts at the airport
thrushes fly in twitters from the drains
bees swarm like candy floss
on the spire of Crystal Palace
gibbons swing under silver satellites
fur fizzing with elided electric vowels
when she texts at the airport
white clouds whistle Dixie

When she settles in the taxi
pearls loop through the syllables of our address
bubbles pause short of the meniscus
the orrery gears clench perfect teeth
and their jewellery oil resolves in orbit
refracting sweetshop shards of rainbow
when she settles in the taxi
white clouds inhale the breeze

When she fumbles her keys
the house bubbles honey from windows
the carpet sweats peppermint
and the wallpaper breathes camomile
the staircase cascades Chanel in rapids
sluicing out week-dust of Madras and Marlboro
when she fumbles her keys
white clouds envelop me in the hallway

[moonbird]

About time for a judging, I'd say.

[tailor STATELY]

(Enters through the proscenium)

Forgive me my tardiness... I needed to take some time off the web.

Worthy entries all. In order:

YesNo - A wonderful macabre tale. Enjoyed: " Gweneloup who's long been dead, Or so those angry maggots said. They exited her lovely head."

Dark Muse - Quite enigmatic. "Southern Comfort" sent my mind racing down into the rabbit hole; lost, once more, in Santa Clara.

Pendragon - A flight of vehicular fancy; or one obsessed or possessed perhaps.

cacian - "stars are the soul the eyes behold" - quite delightful.

jajdude - Enjoyed this part: "where desires chase shadows until the cruel daylight enters and grabs you at your lonesome" -

MarkBastable - An interesting piece that reads well. "When she texts at the airport thrushes fly in twitters from the drains" tickled me at the start.
.
.
.
.


And the winner is: MarkBastable... Congratulations !

[MarkBastable]

Wow - thank you. I'm delighted and slightly astonished.

Give me a couple of days and I'll start a new one.

M

[Pendragon]

Congratulations Mark!

[cacian]

Congratulations Mark!

[MarkBastable]

One of my oft-expounded beliefs about art is that form matters. The restrictions of form inspire invention.

There was a time when a painter would be commissioned to paint, say, an altarpiece. And there are rules for that. It's got to have a religious subject; it has to be a very specific size and shape; it has to be viewable, even from the cheap seats at the back. And the great artists could fulfil all that and still make something that satisfied their own creative impulse, something that kept the client happy but also said what the artist wanted to say. That's not selling your soul - that's working brilliantly.

My contention is that it's the tension between specification and inspiration that makes art.

So, the game...

A villanelle is a really tight, restrictive format, in terms of metre, structure and length.

Nineteen lines, two rhymes, a regular metre (which must be consistent, whatever it is). There are two repeated lines, which always occur in the same places.

Wikipedia describes the structure like this:

The essence of the fixed modern form is its distinctive pattern of rhyme and repetition. The rhyme-and-refrain pattern of the villanelle can be schematized as

A1 b A2 (stanza 1, three lines)
a b A1 (stanza 2, three lines)
a b A2 (stanza 3, three lines)
a b A1 (stanza 4, three lines)
a b A2 (stanza 5, three lines)
a b A1 A2 (stanza 4, four lines)

where letters ("a" and "b") indicate the two rhyme sounds, upper case indicates a refrain ("A"), and superscript numerals (1 and 2) indicate Refrain 1 and Refrain 2.

...Which sounds complicated, but it's more easily understood when you see it.

Here's a famous one.


Do not go gentle into that good night,
Old age should burn and rave at close of day;
Rage, rage against the dying of the light.

Though wise men at their end know dark is right,
Because their words had forked no lightning they
Do not go gentle into that good night.

Good men, the last wave by, crying how bright
Their frail deeds might have danced in a green bay,
Rage, rage against the dying of the light.

Wild men who caught and sang the sun in flight,
And learn, too late, they grieved it on its way,
Do not go gentle into that good night.

Grave men, near death, who see with blinding sight
Blind eyes could blaze like meteors and be gay,
Rage, rage against the dying of the light.

And you, my father, there on the sad height,
Curse, bless me now with your fierce tears, I pray.
Do not go gentle into that good night.
Rage, rage against the dying of the light



Another one - same structure, same form.



Discovering my orbit in your eyes,
I’ll focus there and dare it.
My love, I wouldn’t wish it otherwise.

Though once a spectacle in my disguise,
I’m naked now, I swear it,
Discovering my orbit in your eyes.

Eclipsed, revealed, freed and circumscribed,
I’ll steal your light and share it.
My love, I wouldn’t wish it otherwise.

The Old World in a new circumference lies.
By some rare cusp, I merit
Discovering my orbit in your eyes.

Struck blind by what I feared to visualise,
I’ll name it. I’ll declare it
My love. I wouldn’t wish it otherwise.

I’ve blinked at fear before, in other lives,
But this time I’ll out-stare it.
My love, I wouldn’t wish it otherwise,
Discovering my orbit in your eyes.



So, two lines repeated exactly, though possibly punctuated differently, and only two rhymes, and a tight metre.

A challenge, yes. If no one likes it, we'll do a limerick. (Though they're a lot more difficult than they look, too.)

Let's give the best part of a month for this. Deadline: March 31st

[YesNo]

Patience

Stay steady through the falling rain
As stormy weather haunts the spring.
Calm patience doesn't pass on pain.

Those failures that disturb the brain
Will spoil results no one can bring.
Stay steady through the falling rain.

Harsh words will make the spirit drain
With scorn that wants to stick and sting.
Calm patience doesn't pass on pain.

Decaying dreams will ever stain
And stop the voice that longs to sing.
Stay steady through the falling rain.

When screams erupt the ears will strain
For peace but hear a heartless ring.
Calm patience doesn't pass on pain.

So should the day drench hope of gain
And you are blamed for everything,
Stay steady through the falling rain.
Calm patience doesn't pass on pain.

[jajdude]

He left his things behind
and headed out the door,
starting fresh and blind.

She didn't seem to mind,
she'd seen his kind before;
he left his things behind.

Their time was undefined,
nothing less and nothing more,
starting fresh and blind.

Their time was intertwined
as waves approached the shore;
he left his things behind.

The note was left unsigned
and fell upon the floor;
starting fresh and blind.

Time is never kind
revealing what's in store.
He left his things behind,
starting fresh and blind.

[Pendragon]

POE

The waves wash upon some forgotten shore,
The wind sighs softly among the gnarled trees.
Somewhere a dark bird croaks “Nevermore,”

From his perch upon a bust of Pallas above the chamber door.
The dark clouds split and the heavens bleed.
The waves wash upon some forgotten shore,

As a wild-eyed man searches for his lost Lenore,
Calling out; desperately expressing his needs!
Somewhere a dark bird croaks “Nevermore,”

In tones of Doom as the man implores
The Unforgiving Heavens to return his dreams.
The waves wash upon some forgotten shore,

The beach where she’d played in the days of yore—
He turns to the bottle, trying to drown his needs.
Somewhere a dark bird croaks “Nevermore,”

And the echoes echo the name “Lenore…”
He traces her name on the tombstone as he reads.
The waves wash upon some forgotten shore,
And somewhere a dark bird croaks “Nevermore.”

Pendragon

[Pendragon]

Um, judge, please

[tailor STATELY]

Don't we have until the 31st March ?

[MarkBastable]

Yeah - a few days yet.

[jajdude]

Would be nice to see more entries. This form is interesting.

[Pendragon]

Would be nice to see more entries. This form is interesting.

Indeed it is! But no one has posted for some time. I fear that people do not participate in our many contests. Sad, really, because we have so many fine poets!

[moonbird]

Alas, the beating heart has caught aflame;
The world is shaking with its strangled cries
And suffocated is the Beast in shame.

Like lions running wild and free, untamed,
To own this Creature is the greatest prize.
Alas, the beating heart has caught aflame.

The children temp its teeth with wicked games,
Their fragile forms like dancers in its eyes,
And suffocated is the Beast in shame.

The hunger claws its face, always the same
With prinpricks clogging up the empty skies;
Alas, the beating heart has caught aflame.

It looks around and sees no one to blame
As murdered suns like blood stains start to rise,
And suffocated is the Beast in shame.

It's bleeding from a vileness with no name
As all around, each raindrop falls and dies;
Alas, the beating heart has caught aflame
And suffocated is the Beast in shame.

[MarkBastable]

Thank you, entrants.

The poems were all disciplined, structurally and, on the whole, metrically. And there was an interesting range of subject matter - some of which hooked me and some of which didn't.

What won it was the natural rhythms and structures of jajdude's language. It was an unusual metre for a villanelle (there are conventions on that, but no 'rule'), which supported the short line. And there was a sort of limpid simplicity to the theme too, which made that entry stand out.

[jajdude]

I', surprised but thanks Mark. OK, for some reason, god knows why, I have to keep the entertainment on the sea here. I am a lazy man so I'm not up to looking up forms, they have rules and stuff and those hurt my head.

What I will suggest is a "fading poem". No doubt this form already exists somewhere out there in form universe, so who cares.

First line has, I dunno, let's say seven or more words, and each subsequent line removes a word from the previous one until at last we have one word, so make it good. I will judge harshly since that is fun, right?

Example I have to make up now:

The dog is eating the beans on the shelf.
On the shelf the dog is eating beans.
The dog is eating on the shelf.
On the shelf is the dog.
The dog is the shelf.
The shelf is dog.
Dog is shelf.
Shelf is.
Shelf.

Damn, this looks hard, but good luck and have fun you 4 or 5 people who take part in this.

[Pendragon]

We are past the middle point of life
Are past the middle point of life
Past the middle point of life
The middle point of life
Middle point of life
Point of life
Of life
Life...

Pendragon
(c) 2012

[YesNo]

The flowers like to bloom in spring
To the flowers: bloom in spring
In spring the flowers bloom
Flowers bloom in spring
Spring flowers bloom
Flowers bloom
Bloom

[moonbird]

But for death, we would never truly live.
For death, we would never truly live.
For death would never truly live.
For death, never truly live.
Death, never truly live.
Death, never live.
Death, live.
Live.

[tailor STATELY]

The moon is new, a cloudless night, in awe we whispered Les étoiles !
Moon is new, a cloudless night, in awe we whispered Les étoiles !
New is a cloudless night, in awe we whispered Les étoiles !
New, a cloudless night, in awe we whispered Les étoiles !
A cloudless night, in awe we whispered Les étoiles !
Cloudless night, in awe we whispered Les étoiles !
Night. In awe we whispered Les étoiles !
In awe we whispered Les étoiles !
Awe. We whispered Les étoiles !
We whispered Les étoiles !
Whispered Les étoiles !
Les étoiles !
Étoiles !

Ta ! (short for tarradiddle),
tailor STATELY

[cacian]

I', surprised but thanks Mark. OK, for some reason, god knows why, I have to keep the entertainment on the sea here. I am a lazy man so I'm not up to looking up forms, they have rules and stuff and those hurt my head.

What I will suggest is a "fading poem". No doubt this form already exists somewhere out there in form universe, so who cares.

First line has, I dunno, let's say seven or more words, and each subsequent line removes a word from the previous one until at last we have one word, so make it good. I will judge harshly since that is fun, right?

Example I have to make up now:

The dog is eating the beans on the shelf.
On the shelf the dog is eating beans.
The dog is eating on the shelf.
On the shelf is the dog.
The dog is the shelf.
The shelf is dog.
Dog is shelf.
Shelf is.
Shelf.

Damn, this looks hard, but good luck and have fun you 4 or 5 people who take part in this.

Hi jajdude
are we allowed to have different lines everytime like this but still keep with the style?

it appeared from somewhere
it was something
it went
nowhere

[jajdude]

I'm not sure cacian, but if you write something impressive no one will mind.

[Delta40]

The parent of the child is a child
The child is a parent of child
Of the child is a parent
The parent is a child
Child is the parent
The parent child
The child
Child

[cacian]

I'm not sure cacian, but if you write something impressive no one will mind.

Impressive haha...just normal..OK thank you:p

[Dark Muse]

Embers Burning

His eyes were burning embers to inflame my soul
embers burning his eyes to inflame my soul
embers inflame my soul, his burning eyes
my embers inflame his burning soul
burning embers inflame his soul
his soul burning embers
his embers burning
burning embers
burning.

[jajdude]

I don't know how to comment on these. Now I forget which ones I like. It was an odd form, not a common one. I'd never heard of it, but was sergeant to present one.

Pendragon and moonbird both stand out for me as strong pieces. I'm going with pendragon though I'd like to give ya both a tie, as moon had a solid work. I liked that pen simply subtracted a word each time. That gave it an edge. moonbird's work was good though/

all in my opinion of course

So, congrats to Pendragon, and we'll see what comes next.

[moonbird]

Congrats, Pendragon! And thank you for your comments, jajdude.

[Pendragon]

Thank you very much. I'm going to leave this wide open by using a free-verse, non-rhyming poem. The catch is it must begin with a thought and work through the poem to finish with the same line. Length doesn't matter, but I would much prefer at least eight. Good luck and God bless!

[YesNo]

Stopping Forever and Starting the Universe

Once upon a time it all began.
It started from what might have been a chill from the Endless Everlasting Void
from which the beasts who feasted sprang from nothing all-to-eager to be fed.
Some say a hero finally came and stopped the heartless nonsense, the endless eating and the waste.
Some always say more than they ever could have known and get a fraction of it right.
Fools insist on love. They always will. They're sweet, if you could only swallow them.
All that matters is the eating had to stop when time popped out so you could breathe.
And that is why we're here to bring you one more story, one more lusty lie, one more teasing truth to dress your dreams
that keep you from the nothing of the night since
once upon a time it all began.

[miyako73]

Lament of Firstborns

In this measured world
Of numbers and pride,
Singers hum no notes,
Poets read no metaphors
But wail anguish and woes
Of the grieving firstborns
Against unwanted birth
In this measured world.

[Dark Muse]

Dreaming Darkly

Drink deeply and dream
upon the midnight hour, amongst trembling shadows,
softly, softly, in silence may darkness descend,
sanguine lips succulently hunger for the eternal kiss,
sleep never more, as tragic lovers interlocked in death's embrace.
be not still but to thrive within beauty immortalized,
a gasping breath in pure ecstasy, a crimson flush on satin skin,
everlasting bliss arising from the ashes of prolonged agony,
now in dawn's first awakening, as the fires begin to light the sky
drink deeply and dream....

[Pendragon]

I have to give this one to... DARKMUSE! Congrats

[Dark Muse]

Thank you!

I will get thinking on what the next form should be

[Dark Muse]

I am going to go with an old favorite of mine, the Ghazal.

The Ghazal is usually made up of at least 5 and typically no more than 15 couplets. Each couplet should be able to stand on its own as its own individual poem. Each line of the poem should be the same length, but in English meter is not imposed. The last couplet

usually refers to the poets signature (name or pen name or some derivation of the names meaning ) and refers to the poet in the third or first person .

There is a refrain of one to three words, and an inline rhyme that precedes the refrain.

Some examples:

http://www.cranberrydesigns.com/poetry/ghazal/examples.htm

[Pendragon]

The bright days of gladness, obscured by dark depression
Is the only answer to give in to violence and aggression?

Trying to paint another life is quite a good suggestion
It's hard to force the brush from the hand of dark depression

Color introduced can make dark shadows lessen
But darkest grey is on the brush in the hand of cold depression

The anger builds, the volcano grows, explosion of aggression
Can I do naught to block the cursed spread of deep depression?

Ah, Pen, poor fool, your anger burns, but fueled by hot aggression
Draw strength from it's fire and fight the spread of bitter, cold depression


Pendragon
(C) 4/10/2012

[YesNo]

Cherie

When you're that mad with me my sun won't rise, Cherie.
I'm somber begging rain to clear the skies, Cherie.

Those oaks befriending maples in the park
Are shamed and shocked to hear your heartless lies, Cherie.

Some stars might help to guide our wayward souls
But none of them now leads me from these cries, Cherie.

Till winds can take my ashes to the bay
My heart still lives yet while it's aching dies, Cherie.

Your slave's too long enchanted with this pain.
Unfriendly hope gains stronger wings and flies, Cherie.

[moonbird]

Wrap my shoulders in soft arms of a lover.
Heal my wounds with the charms of a lover.

Drown me in daisies so I may discover
The torturous pious bouquet of a lover.

Twisted in circles like the gaze of lost brothers,
Lose my mind in the maze of a lover.

With God as my witness, I shall glance at no other.
My eyes shall not stray from the dance of my lover.

Let pain be my savior, for no heart has suffered
As the vulnerable moon-shadowed heart of a lover.

[tailor STATELY]

Gazelle, by tailor STATELY

The savanna teems with wildlife in abundance
amidst the stridulations of insects in their abundance

The gazelle flourishes in her niche in the circle of life
where grass is easy to find, and mates are in abundance

Still. One must be wary; for the lion reaps while others sow
and other predators are in watch amongst the abundance

The tick seeks its prey, albeit more haphazardly, in wait
for the first warm- blooded creature; there is a great abundance

And the Tick-Tick bird rides about on the herds that mingle
together raising a low dust on the rift-valley floor of abundance

And so, tailor, we see a microcosm at work in harmony
where the dung beetle reigns as king, even as we, in abundance

5/24/2012


Ta ! (short for tarradiddle),
tailor STATELY

[Dark Muse]

Thank you all for your entries. I thought you all did a great job with it, and there was a tough call.

Pendragon: As always a perfectly well crafted poem. I love the depth of emotion of it. It was quite evocative, and you did have one of my favorite incorporations of your name within the last verse. Well done, always a pleasure to read.

YesNo: I really enjoyed reading your poem. There was some great imagery and I found the opening line really grabbed my attention and made me want to keep reading. I quite enjoyed your use of Cherie as the repletion, for some reason it also made me think of Pairs in the 1920s.

moonbird: You had some beautiful imagery in your poem. I particularly enjoyed the line "My eyes shall not stray from the dance of my lover." I also found the concept of the poem interesting. I loved the last line and thought your use of the your name in the poem was beautifully done.

And the winner is.......

tailor STATELY: I loved the vivid image you created of the African savanna, it evoked many of my different senses, which is something I always enjoy in my poem and made the scene really come to life in my mind. I thought it had a great atmosphere and I thought it was rather clever. Also I quite enjoyed the nature theme of this poem.

[tailor STATELY]

Thank you Dark Muse!

I'll be back a bit later this evening (PDT) with the new form.

Ta ! (short for tarradiddle),
tailor STATELY

[tailor STATELY]

Let's try this again (my browser blew up when I hit Preview Post the first time).

☻ New form Zejel (or Zahal):

☻ Syllable Count: Usually 8-syllables per line.

☻ A triplet starts the poem establishing the linking rhyme with the end line of the following quatrains.

☻ Use at least 2-quatrains; more is fine.

Rhyme Scheme:

a a a ................. Triplet

b b b a............... Quatrain1

c c c a............... Quatrain2

More info: http://rainbowcommunications.org/forms/Zejel.pdf

This is a relatively easy form - so use your imagination; and

End Date set for 10 days 6/18/2012

Ta ! (short for tarradiddle),
tailor STATELY

[YesNo]

Night Rain

The sky lets rain refresh the night.
Priscilla watches in the light
While pausing from a lover's fight.

Her Jim says he has got to go
And won't return tomorrow, so
The evening pounds as lovers grow
Apart though hearts are clenching tight.

Who knows why they have gone this far?
The rain starts beating on his car
Which helps them notice who they are
While anger tries to block their sight.

It's then it seems that he will stay.
The rain relaxes as they say
They'll try again another way
To see each other's role play right.

[Pendragon]

A flame of fire lights up the sky
As ghosts and spirits flicker by
And I sit here where the shadows lie...

It's come my time to do my best
To voyage on a Vision Quest
Invoke my totem animal by request
To rise from where the shadows lie...

I sit unmoving like a stone
Feel like a child, barely half-grown,
The chill wind whispers that I'm not alone
Here where the silent shadows lie...

A cougar rises as the flames ascend
His growl a voice telling what the dreams portend
Our spirits join, and the whole transcends
My lonely life as the bright flame dies...

I walk back to the village more than mortal men
The cougar spirit buried deep within
My eyes alight with what no one comprehends
Never more shall I in shadows lie...

Pendragon
(C) 6/11/2012

[whitman]

Dollhouse:

My grandfather would listen to the Hornsea evening tides
he would compare them to incantations where ecstasy resides
grandmother complained that her husband was never really home
he compared wood to the soul in death searching for a form
a carpenter-he built my sister a dollhouse and me a horse
grandfather heard the grass growing he understood it's force
he would stare into the dolls house and share his visions
that night winds would blow the cottage free of it's fictions
On her last night grandmother opened the window and heard the sea
that night her husband finally arrived home and she for eternity
he would make wings for the horse and build a boat-his last creation
sailing at night he muttered his wife's name like an incantation
sleeping till morning the wind would carry his dreams in its suitcase
staring into the dolls house he watched grandmothers sleeping face