Help, Please. Please...

[amuse]

i want you to help me
find
this
tear
lost in
that ocean
near that
bridge the
one he last / i
cried when
we dressed
up for the
band and looked
like oscar winners
the night he
sang to me
held me
close and his
warm breath
low in my ear
was a newly wrapped
box of chocolates
and we were ten again
i want the tear
back that drifted
down his face onto
my lips onto his
finger the first one
that plashed into the
bay
followed by
the others and the
kisses and the
rainstorm it was the
loveliest rainstorm
and we were the only
ones who kept on
kept on dancing
we were the only
ones years later we
danced when he came
home after a long
day
excited exhausted
and i couldn't remember
my name (except that
it ended with his)
but i could remember
still how his mom
was so groggy in the recovery
room and how her eyes
looked into mine
from a space
called forever
i'd never seen eyes like hers
before
and he looks at
me listens to me he's been
listening all day making
music all his life
laughter and warm kisses all ours
he still takes the time to hold
my hand and laugh and boss me
around i ask him, too if
he forgets it
was the tear
that preceded
the roar when he lost
his mother
the tear that preceded the
fire
my tightened chest
which couldn't hold any more
emotion or air
so tight from all the
living loving I want to
find that tear it
sparkled like a
diamond his
love our life.

[fayefaye]

*deep sigh* az, that's sooooo beautiful. And yes, I sing out loud all the time. It's my thing. :D Everybody should sing, all the time. Like a musical.

[amuse]

thanks, faye

So, what's your favorite musical? Or, what musical is you life like? :D :p speaking of, how's the college hunting-thingy going?

[den]

I love the unstructured yet rhythmic way this flows amuse!

[amuse]

thanks - it whispered itself in my ear as i struggled to go back to sleep early one morning. so glad it wasn't too structured! :)

[Koa]

I read it on the other forum and well... I realised I just can't read it again... I don't want to remember how it made me feel but well... The way it made me feel must be a great achievement, amuse: your words make people feel... at least for me, that's what poetry is all about...or sort of...

[amuse]

thank you, koa. that means a lot to me.

as i've said before, i don't really write; mostly either see an image or "listen" and then try to go with the flow. so what you said means i'm doing a halfway decent job, if that makes sense.

thanks again...
*wishes for "very touched" emoticon.*

[Koa]

lol yeah that emoticon would be useful...

lucky you, your images seem to work pretty well... mine vanish and the better they can do is end up in a liquid poetry that lack consistance and sinteticity... (if those words exist of course...)

[amuse]

so, um koa, i might be slow (probably am! :D) but what do you mean by "sinteticity?" i like the sound :) of it and also "liquid poetry" - sounds like a big vat of something or other simmering...can't wait 'til your vanished images reappear

[Koa]

Lol I guess the problem is just that I invented a word :D
I meant by 'sintenticity' the ability of keeping something short but making it effective... I should have used words like 'brief(ness)' or 'concise(ness)', but I was too lazy or too hurried to check out a dictionary when I wrote that, so I just adapted the word that came to my mind (which I'm not even sure it exists in my language either ;););))

Btw amuse, sorry 'bout changing the topic but have you ever read poems by Anna Akhmatova? We're doing that at Russian literature course now and I'm fascinated especially about how she uses concrete elements in her poems, and I thought it can relate a bit to your poetry, even if the style is different... Well I think I'll open a topic about this when I have time (so I never will cos I've had other 2 topics in mind for ages :D)

[amuse]

no so i would love to learn about her! glad you interrupted with her :D how wonderful your course sounds. it makes me wish i could go to school forever and be a nurse and write poetry and work weekends and learnlearnlearn everything...

*reading the briefest bio in "The Academy of American (???whywhywhy) Poets" and am so so - don't know. excited, enthralled, yay! thank you, Koa!!! *bounces up and down, hits head on ceiling

[amuse]

*btw, opened topic in case you didn't have time, hope that's fine w/you???

[Koa]

Oh you did? Will head there in a sec then... Dont worry I dont mind, maybe it's better you did cos there was a chance I never would... :D

I often find myself wishing to be a student all my life, if it wasnt for money and consequent half-dependance on parents... That course is really amazing, the teacher is great and I find myself so involved in the poetry that I feel it almost physically... back at being a poet, i am maybe i am!!! :D

[SmilesAF]

it's really beautiful

[amuse]

SmilesAF, thanks :) for both taking the time to read it and comment. That's very sweet of you. :)

[fayefaye]

Originally posted by amuse
[B]
So, what's your favorite musical? Or, what musical is you life like? :D :p

it's really not like anything at all. It'd be fun, if life was like a musical..... On the up side, I can click my heels. :D

[amuse]

you know, i've always wanted to dance and click them up in the air. (as it is, i'm mostly only graceful by accident.) :D lucky you!!

[fayefaye]

The trick is to swing your legs up from the hips, and turn your feet out from the ankles, so your toes are pointing in opposite directions. Then grab an umbrella and do the 'singing in the rain' thang.

[emily655321]

*bites tongue at mention of "Singing in the Rain"* Mmph mmm mm mmph mm mmph.. :D

[amuse]

yeah right, "mmmph", it was my favorite movie when i was a pre-teen! :D :D (too embarrassed to remember how much longer)
so :D think of the county fair and irish jigs, then, em! ;) and funnel cake, rofl.

*yes, i'm part irish, i can say this, can also make dumb blonde jokes because of my genotype, teeheehee*

[Koa]

I think Em was referring to the 'singing in the rain' bit in A Clockwork Orange (the movie)... hope that wasnt your fav one as a pre-teen! ;)

Damn, the first time I saw the Clockwork Orange movie, that singing in the rain gave me so much of a headache (cinema gives me headache), that a friend of mine went on singing that to me for ages on, just to pi** me off :D ;)

(going off topic? ;))

[amuse]

so embarrassed! someone make a blonde joke about me, quick!

(yes, slightly, but what could we call a new thread? the singing in the rain clockwork orange no place like homemade cookies thread?)

koa, you're 2 away from the big one!!!