Going home

[Isagel]

I have no idea if this poem works in english, but I thought I would give it a try.

Going home

Clear august,
my breath the only cloud
when I rush
longing for a faster train
to take me
home

you laugh in the phone
at this sudden urge
that makes eternity out of
forty minutes trainride

how can I say

I carry this love
for you
like a chestnut in my pocket
the tree´s hope
of tree.

[amuse]

you laugh in the phone
at this sudden urge
that makes eternity out of
forty minutes trainride
how sweet, how true this is...
two days ago i too experienced eternity on the train :) - for 67 minutes.


how can I say

I carry this love
for you
like a chestnut in my pocket
the tree´s hope
of tree.
this is truly beautiful. i like how you condense the love into something that can be carried with you anywhere, and is also a seed for tomorrow's largess.
it is so quiet and rich...the pause between "how can I say" and "I carry" says everything...it is a beautiful love...

[Isagel]

Thank you! I Haven´t written a lovepoem before, and I wanted it sweet, without being mushy.

Glad that the chestnut thing worked - it sounded good in swedish, but sometimes it is hard to get the real feeling of how things sound in another language.

"i like how you condense the love into something that can be carried with you anywhere, and is also a seed for tomorrow's largess." - I wish I had thought about it like that! It was just a picture that stuck.. During the fall I always pick up chestnuts and keep them in my pocket. They are so good to touch. The ones that "have the best feel" I sometimes give away. (That´s probably a bit childish) My boyfriend still keeps the one I gave him two years ago.


I´m so very glad you liked it. It´s always wonderful when someone you admire likes your work.

BTW - 67 minutes- Poor dear.!

[atiguhya padma]

I really like it Isagel.

It speaks of so much. Growth, longing, waiting, promise, love.

As amuse said, beautiful and so true.

[Isagel]

Thank you! I´m really glad you liked it.