How do you cure heartache?!

[Rachy]

Me and my boyf broke up and I'm still not over it! I haven't been myself since it happened! I've completely changed....I've turned into a nasty person and have serious moments of depression....No matter what I do I can't seem to get over him!!

[Virgil]

My sympathies Rachy. What I would do is try to take my mind off it. Hang out with some of your friends. Company is a mind distraction and it brings things of the mind back to norm. Do something that requires a lot of people around to talk to about all sorts of things, not necessarily about relationships.

[seasong]

It's difficult to break out of feelings of depression. You have to remember that you're a great person, even if it didn't work out with some guy and start doing things to remind yourself of that. Start doing things you're really good at and enjoy. For instance, if you enjoy writing you should write, or if you play piano start practicing a lot.

[Rachy]

Yeah I tried the writing thing and just ended up writing about what happened and how he cheated on me and made me feel! lol...Didn't work out too well...And I went to the pub with all my mates and ended up bursting into tears...However I was clubbing last night and forgot all about him even though I was with all his mates!

[kilted exile]

And I went to the pub with all my mates and ended up bursting into tears

There is nothing wrong with this in a lot of ways it is a part of the natural healing process (hell, even I have spent a night crying into the bottom of my glass about someone who doesnt want me anymore) All that it requires is a freind willing to go with you and agree that the stupid ############## is an idiot, not worth crying over etc. The emotions need to be released and this is a perfectly good way to do it, just so long as it doesnt become a pattern.

[Kaltrina]

oh Rachy, I hate when this happens to good people... I know you've heard different things by now and probably most of them seem stupid to you and you say "people do not understand me", which is true in most cases, but one thing is for sure u do understand yourself, and you are the one who can help you. It is terrible to cry over a guy who does not deserve it, because that is for sure, HE DOES NOT DESERVE ANY OF YOUR TEARS... I know you want to cry because otherwise you would explode, but just have a chat with yourself and tell you what did he do and how that hurted you and how it's not worth being depressed about it............I just believe that no person should make you go down, for nothing in this world... hope you will feel better soon and not forget but learn... :)

[kathycf]

It may seem trite right now, but time really does help heal you. When I was divorced I was convinced my life was over and I would never love anybody ever again. Well, several years have gone by and....I was wrong about those things.

Take your time, grieve in your way and hopefully sooner or later your heart will be on the mend. I wish you well.

[manolia]

Maybe the fact that you broke up is for the better. I was in that condition 6 years ago. I thought that my life was ending, everything seemed pointless, i couldn't find pleasure in anything...and then i met the love of my life!
Now, try to calm down and convince yourself that you do not actually need this guy. You have a personallity of your own and you need nobody to make you complete. And of course hanging out with friends is a very good advice!And BELIEVE ME nobody dies from love! Or else "Time is the best doctor".

[livelaughlove]

Although it's cliche, it's true... "whenever a door closes, one more opens". You'll probably never stop hurting, but the hurt will diminish as the days go by. I mean, I admit that I'm still not over a certain boy who I happened to cross paths with 2 years ago--- and we didn't even have a relationship! So I can toootally see where you're coming from, especially if you're like me and tend to love too easily-- but I don't know you so I don't know if that's true.

So.. definitely take your time. Eat lots of chocolate. Cry. Laugh with friends. It'll get better.

[cranberry]

Hi there,
I am so sorry for this sweety and the worst that could happen is break ups and heartbreaks but try to make your self busy with anything with your friends go out shopping or go to palces where you will be busy focusing on something like cinamas with your friends , learn somthing new > cuz they say when ur sitting alone satan will give you bad thoughts! so keep ya self busy
with your friends!! although at those type of depression times i know you feel like nothing to do at all and become an inside beast.

best regards!

[Adudaewen]

Oh, Rachy, I'm so sorry! I've been there too, and I know how much you are hurting right now. And I know how empty it sounds when people say, he's not worth it. I was there, and though I came to realize how much better off I was without my ex, it still hurt when we broke up. I also tried writing and found myself just writting about what had happened, and you know what I did? I totally gave into that, and wrote it over and over and over again, and every single time I shredded it. It took about 50 times, but by then I had ranted and raved and put all of that hurt, and bitterness on paper, got it out and shredded it. Get it out and get it gone. That's the key. Also, try buying a new pair of shoes, go get your hair done, get a pedicure/manicure, spend some time on yourself. You'll be okay. ;) Good luck, I'll be thinking about you!

[Pensive]

I know it's hard, but you need to find some other way to take your attention away from this event.

Personally, I find reading books a lot of help. Just today, I had to face "a difference in attitude of someone who I thought was quite good to me" and when I read a few chapters of Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban, I felt as if I had got a lot better. Good books can really heal you, believe me. :)

And there is always writing. Write about things. Express yourself: this makes thing a lot easier, it's just like you are baring your heart away.

Remain close to people you think are sincere to you, and avoid those you think will hurt you. And remember that in life, one loses a lot of things. And the brighter side is that in life, one gains a lot of things too. :D

[white camellia]

Try to think more of the persons who need your care and love, such as your parents (for me, that works), though it's another kind of love, and also I found that spending time with a kid (teaching her something that you are good at as well as her interest to learn ) helps.

At times, it's really hard to believe in love. But we always have other choices.

[Rachy]

Thanks guys! Appreciate all of those...Even though I'm sitting here crying it feels pretty good! I'm getting more and more frustrated as other guys (6 others) don't seem to understand that I don't want a relationship at the moment..I realised that I need to be by myself for a while and that is the only way I'm going to get over him...Have a few girly nights and get drunk with the lads! Hehe xxxxx

[vin1391]

I don't know what to say since I never had any experience in these things but all I have to say is..

*Be yourself
*Take care of youself.

Also like Pensive suggested try reading or writing..It helps me when I am in the dumps...Do whatever you like and well Smile... :)

I know I am no help but still

Take Care

[Madhuri]

Just stay away from people who are over analysing your situation, constantly talking about feelings, or discussing about your relationship. Such talks never reach to any conclusion and will leave you more confused, and depressed.

Take your time and just be yourself :)

[Shalot]

you don't cure heartache. It dulls over time and when you think you're over it and haven't thought about it all in months or years, you wake up in the middle of the night mad at yourself, remembering some random moment, and you relive it and think how you could have handled it and you stomp around and have a cigarette and remind yourself that it would be crazy to go to his house in the middle of the night to slap him upside the head with a frying pan.