Hey I'm new.. (some of my poems)

[Unprodigy]

Hey everyone, just signed up today. I'm trying to become a better poet in my spare time, so i figured posting my peotry for public viewing might be a good place to start. Heres a few of my poems, I appretiate feedback even if its "shutup emo kid."

Thanks

"All of the above"

Horror of truth
seems bittersweet
and I hate chocolate

"For kicks"

Incomplete poetry is lacking
Complete poetry has parenthesis

"A Forgoten Way"

Lifes too short to live in the now
The now ends sooner then expected
So try and live for the past
The past can be reminised forever

"Just Me"

I could have the key to happyness in my hand
The door to serenity to infront of me
And I'd never use it
Becuase I would be deff, numb, and blind

"Faith is not fore the weak of heart"

Is hope diserving under false pretenses

Can you hold it close to the truth
Would you rather embrace it with the lie

Should you diserve to lay with honesty
Could you bare the shame of fates distrust

Must you compare ones misbeliefs
Do you strive to correct self doctrine

Why hope to diserve true profits

[dyingflame]

hey i like the first 3 - they're original in their length; direct and straight to the heart..although I wouldn't be so brash as to call them poetry as the masses understand it; well done- keep writing, but do brush up your spelling; unless of course it is intentional (which would imo serve well in "a forgotten way" (missing letters gives the sense of losing something that's prevalent there for me) but not in "faith" since it seems to be a poem that takes its approach to its content in a more conventional style than your others

[dramasnot6]

the structure is clever, with the "titles" and then verse, but the content is a little incoherent. Also, you might want to work on the intro, i was a bit confused about what the poem was about.

But it looks like youve made a great start! Welcome to the forum!

[dyingflame]

i think they're poems, not one poem

[Unprodigy]

Yea, they are all diffrent poems, sorry I guess I didnt make it very clear I guess. Thanks for your feedback, everything helps.

[quasimodo1]

To Unprodigy: You have the gift. I would run with it. Read Rainer Maria Rilke and see genius attained. RJS

[The Raven]

I knd of agree with all of you. I'm happy there are still people trying to write poetry, or whatever they call it. I remember a talk to a writer in which he told me "the poem is in there... you just have to take rubbish off it"
An advice I can give you, besides reading RMR, is to read your poems again after writing them, trying to figure out you're someone else. Now, what does it tell you? What does it make you feel? Ten, is it similar to what you attempted to express?
All of the criticism / feedback you can get from people here @ the forum or anywhere else could help, but the most important thig for you and the poetry you attempt to reach is to develop self-criticism, and find out your own VOICE.
I hope you go on with it. Some wonderful images, and quite metaphorical enough. Keep on writing and reading poetry. BTW, who's your favourite poet?

[Unprodigy]

Well, to the truth, I don't realy have a favorite Poet. I havent realy read all that many poems. I just recently got into the genre, and I only have some, but not much experience in poetry. If you have some poets or poems you think I should read or refer to, I would love to know of them. Thank you to those of you who have posted, its good to hear such possitive feedback from actual poets.

[Unprodigy]

To The Raven

Yes, I agree with you on my self voice. However my selfvoice is rather negative. I have scraped a hundred poems over due to it, however I'm told im too critical, so public voice could help to change my outlook on the matter, and furthur develope my views. Thanks, im working on it.