BeAuTy

[Kamran]

I like to listen to you breathing,
it makes everything seem real.
I know we like to, with tender hands,
stroke, touch and feel.
The touch of you skin, sends me a shiver
and I know you feel it too.
I hope that i won't feel no pain,
and this love is really true.

Lying here skin to skin,
the pure essence of it all,
a true romance that echos my way,
will never ever fall.
I put my ear to your chest,
and hear you heart beat.
The very taste of you graceful lips
is so tender and so sweet.

I can smell your body moving,
the sense will alway last.
I can tell where you want me,
my hearts beating very fast.
The moments so romantic,
I can see you sharp and clear.
I remember all those sense,
touch, taste, smell and hear.

[Reccura]

Nice one, Kamran. Romantic.

[Kamran]

Beauty

Your lips, your eyes, your soul
Are like a work of art,
The most creative thing of all
Is your beautiful heart.

If you were a painting,
No colours could express
The beauty deep inside you,
A rainbow, nothing less.

If you were a sculpture
The clay could hardly make
Your figure of an angel
Without one mistake.

If you were a euphony
No choir could really sing
All the beautiful music
Your eyes could possibly bring.

So here I am, an artist,
With inspiration beyond belief
But to capture such rare beauty,
I'd have to be a thief.

[kathycf]

Hi there, and welcome. You might want to post your poems in the writing/personal poetry section. Nice work, btw. :)

Personal poetry goes here:
http://www.online-literature.com/forums/forumdisplay.php?f=14

[bazarov]

Very nice.

[Ema]

Beauty,
The morning smile
Thy lips paint
And stays alive within me

Beauty,
The slyly dance
Thy supple waist performs
When holding thee in my hands,

Beauty,
The tender touch
That tilts my head
To meet thy hand,

Beauty,
The quiet song,
Emanating from thy heart
As I get thee closer

Beauty,
The moon I see it rising
Every time I look in thy eyes

[Matrim Cuathon]

I like to listen to you breathing,
it makes everything seem real.
I know we like to, with tender hands,
stroke, touch and feel.
The touch of you skin, sends me a shiver
and I know you feel it too.
I hope that i won't feel any pain,
and that this love is really true.

Lying here skin to skin,
the pure essence of it all,
a true romance that echos my way,
will never ever fall.
I put my ear to your chest,
and hear you heart beat.
The very taste of you graceful lips
is so tender and so sweet.

I can smell your body moving,
the sense will alway last.
I can tell where you want me,
my hearts beating very fast.
The moments so romantic,
I can see you sharp and clear.
I remember all those sense,
touch, taste, smell and hear.

i switched 2 words makred in red or blue. im not sure bad grammar is good in poems. its good the way it is though and these are only suggestions.

[Matrim Cuathon]

Beauty

Your lips, your eyes, your soul
Are like a work of art,
But The most creative thing of all
Is your beautiful heart.

If you were a painting,
No colours could express
The beauty deep inside you,
A rainbow, nothing less.

If you were a sculpture
The clay could hardly make
Your figure of an angel
Without one mistake.

If you were a euphony
No choir could really sing
All the beautiful music
Your eyes could possibly bring.

So here I am, an artist,
With inspiration beyond belief
But to capture such rare beauty,
I'd have to be a thief.

as this is a seperate poem i am responding in another post.
the orange word is one which i think might mkae it better. the green stanza(?) has a little issue with making sense. a more complete rewording (which i would never attempt on someone elses poem,) might be in order.

[Matrim Cuathon]

Beauty,
The morning smile
Thy lips paint
And stays alive within me

Beauty,
The slyly dance
Thy supple waist performs
When holding thee in my hands,

Beauty,
The tender touch
That tilts my head
To meet thy hand,

Beauty,
The quiet song,
Emanating from thy heart
As I get thee closer

Beauty,
The moon I see it rising
Every time I look in thy eyes

sly is more appropriate in this instance. (red)
every time i look thee in the eyes. the thy one has a bad feel to it. you dont have to do what i suggested but it would be much better with some sort of alteration.

[Ema]

Thanks Matrim. :)

right I look thee in the eyes sounds better.


sly is more appropriate in this instance. (red)
every time i look thee in the eyes. the thy one has a bad feel to it. you dont have to do what i suggested but it would be much better with some sort of alteration.