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Andy and Angie
01-31-2007, 10:59 PM
Once upon a time in a land far away, there lived an ogre named Timek. Now Timek was an ugly and mean ogre. Not one of the forest creatures’ living near him dared go near his house or even utter a word to him.
He was so selfish that not even a bone fell from his table for the mice’s living in his home. Timek rather be alone, he hated having friends, all they do is chitter chatter chitter chatter, they always want to borrow stuff and then you have to share with them. As for Timek whatever he had belonged to him alone.
One clear morning Timek heard a noise outside his door. Who would dare disturb him? He let out a growl to let whoever it was know that he was angry, but the noise didn’t stop.
As he opened the door he saw a little blue jay on his doorstep. The poor creature had a broken wing. Now being as mean as he was he closed the door on the injured creature.
“Not my problem” he said to himself, but as the morning went on the blue jay cried out a sad song. The other forest creature wanted to help but they didn’t dare go near Timek’s house.
Not being able to take it any longer, Timek opened the door and picked the blue jay up in his hands and took him inside. He looked at blue jay and felt sorry for it.
He mended its wing and tried as best as he could to help her out and he didn’t mind sharing with this beautiful creature that awakened him everyone with a lovely song.
Timek grew to love the bird and began to enjoy her company but the time had come for the bird to takes its leave since her wing was better. Timek didn’t want her to leave but he knew he must let go. He watched her fly off with tears in his eyes.
One afternoon as he sat at his table he heard a familiar song and knew immediately it was his friend. He ran outside but instead he saw a fairy looking at him.
“Did you see a little blue jay?” he asked her.
“ Why Timek its me” but he didn’t believe her why would a fairy play such a trick on him
“Timek I am the little blue jay. I disguised myself so I can prove to the forest creatures that deep down inside you knew how to love and it wasn’t so hard was it Timek? And for helping that poor bird which could have been real, I will grant you the wish you’ve always wanted, the wish for riches. And now Timek that wish will be gra………”
“I don’t want riches, I want the love of friends. I have been lonely far too long; I want someone to talk to, to share with. Dear fairy I wish to have the love and friendship of every forest creature and I promise I wont be mean to them”
Smiling the fairy said “ You don’t have to make that your wish my child, they have heard you and they too are willing to love and be friends with you.
Ever since that day, Timek and the forest creatures have been friends and have loved each other since

JackShea
01-31-2007, 11:39 PM
This is a very nice children's story with a message. For what it is worth, and I am not a writer of children's stories, but since I think this was meant to be written by a child...use the child's voice. Just simple things such as I don't think a child would use words such as:

abode or prolonged.

I guess what I am trying to say is not to just write about a child but BE the child. If any of that makes sense? Good work.