Some more of that not holding back thing:

[Arania]

This one was painful. As of now, it is untitled. I don't know if you can tell upon first reading it, but it really seems to get desperate towards the end. Tell me what you honestly think, please. I don't feel like my writing deserves to be in the company of you real writers.



do you love me still?

do you sit without company
to remember what has been
so accutely dimmed by
hindsight?

do you wander on rainy days;
half-empty soul from the loss of me?

do you still call me sweetheart
in your mind?

can you still hear my voice when
you try hard enough?
and the way I smelled
when you halted my cries?

do you try at all?

are you pushing with everything
your strength contains to
remember?

are you spending your days
pulling and prodding and
prying and gathering
in order to bring me back?

do you write and sing and cry
and dream and love and wonder?

and are you restless with dark nightmares
in which I do not return to you
in tears and whistles,
songs and slow motion?

can you breathe without me?

My heart,
do you still love me at all?

[Pendragon]

You ARE a real writer! Very good poem! Sad, wistful, longing. And yes, a little desperate towards the end. But don't down yourself. It's darn good poetry! :thumbs_up :)

[Neil Thomas]

It has been a while since I missed someone like that, it is no fun what so ever. Hey, I have a poem for you, I wrote it when I could not find my cat.


Swell of Spring’s Night Sweet Sadness

Evening’s glow falls upon gathered stones
As nights silver shimmer unveils by suns warmed moon
Shallow breath, quick glance
Bristle winds blow through leaves of many
I sit and wait patient no more
Cool night's silk embrace my self as soul
While he runs phantom on fences of light and crystal
tunnels with whispered roar
My mind races with fear and loss
then numbed in despair
For not cut of brow by viscous brawl quells the spirit
of tigers call
For love of night and sweet scent
As the night shown bright by suns warmed moon
And crystal tunnels under fences of light fall silent
With swells of spring’s night sweet sadness……..

[Arania]

No, it isn't fun at all. But he'll be coming back soon.

I like your poem. Epecially this part:

While he runs phantom on fences of light and crystal
tunnels with whispered roar.

And from "For not cut..." to the end.

There's some really cool sound stuff in it.

[amuse]

can you breathe without me?this line, italicized, made your poem for me.

[Arania]

Thank you, everyone. The encouragement means a lot.

[brokenheartpoet]

Keep up the good work ,can you give me some tips, Arania