Torment in Knowing

[Dyrwen]

Thought I might pass along another poem of mine. I write like one a day now, they're all this long. Figured one a little more about other people and me might be a slight change of pace. Whether you like it or not, critique if you must, clap if you've got some strange tourettes typing syndrome.

Torment in Knowing
As I look upon the dreams of a woman with age,
I see my own mother, and it brings me to rage.
For inside her pain only hope exists,
and all my truth cannot let it perish.

It is with her love that she lives on,
however happy or sad, she is complete,
only in life she lives through me, repeat.
By viewing the safety of my life lossed,
I can only lose hope, in her eyes crossed.

Free me from her clutched grip now,
so that I may exist in a world upon the ground.
Far from her love, her pain, from life in her eyes,
only through liberty can I find myself truly,
with no attachment to family, a parasitic ruin of me.

Here I watch her fade away,
inside my heart, I know her decay.
Through cares and love,
she is left with nothingness,
a barren sight that is only emptiness.

It is but a problem that has followed since life,
to care for one while holding no purpose else,
here in love she's trapped herself.
Where in pain I find the loneliness,
it keeps me safe, even through its torment.

As I look down upon the hopes you once had,
I am only left with a regret forever held,
for in my heart only guilt may dwell.
Through your past support only apathy remains,
and inside this future my reality stains.

Leaving me sore throughout my body,
deep down into me it bruises my mind,
and inside my heart is where hatred binds.
Captured in truth, only pessimism lies,
yet in the openess of my face,
all I can do is cry, lie, and repeat a sigh.

[star blue]

I like it, but it would sound more natural if it didn't rhyme.

[Dyrwen]

Force of habit..heh.

[Ravenwolfvoyage]

I liked it, that was a great piece of work.

[Waendoliel]

I dont really know of about this. Some parts are great, others are "limping" (if it is posible to use that word). Also, the rhyming is sometimes a bit unatural. Still, I really like the contents.

[Dyrwen]

Appreciate the comments. There are usually limping spot in my poetry as I start off with an idea that is good, but end up working to make myself finish it. The rhyming usually slows me on that.. Been working on avoiding rhyme, I'll post one that I think I did here in a bit..