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tuncay_87
01-09-2007, 12:30 PM
My eyes are waiting for you

While waiting for you with my sleepy eyes
The rain was singing our song too
What you have said with your warm voice
The rain was saying into my ear with it's wind

On the steamed up windows, softly
I was drawing your face with my hands!
In each time I touched your face
Like the reviving of the the young plant by the rain
It was reviving you even if it was a dream!

You suit rainy days
Because they describe you in the best way
Your touch in its drops
Your warm breath in your wind
Her(?) watching the rain is the best
It describes you in the best way
Telling that looking into each others eyes
We are getting lost in our own world!
My eyes are waiting for you
Come already!

by: Tuncay

jon1jt
01-09-2007, 11:06 PM
there's a lot of like about the poem. i think if you could move away from the obvious to the more personal experience, it would open a whole new window of thought and feeling.

favorite lines:
Like the reviving of the the young plant by the rain
It was reviving you even if it was a dream!

also, i suggest dropping the question mark you have next to her and the exclamation point above.

GimmyDiamond
01-09-2007, 11:18 PM
The title does it for me . . . :D Dido what jon said about the exclamation point and question mark . . . loved

"You suit rainy days
Because they describe you in the best way"

Nice . . . :D