Mangle the Quote or Proverb

[Pendragon]

Take a famous quote or proverb and quote half or part of it. The person below must finish it, but mangle the meaning.

Ex. Behind every good man is a woman you don't want to tick off! :lol:

First one:

A bird in the hand...

[Whifflingpin]

A bird in the hand makes a mess on the sleeve.

a stitch in time...

[cuppajoe_9]

A stitch in time gathers no moss.

When in Rome...

[kathycf]

When in Rome, eat some lasagna and drink espresso.

Early to bed and early to rise...

[cuppajoe_9]

Early to bed and early to rise all you like, lasagna still doesn't go very well with espresso.

And ye shall know the truth...

[The Jackle]

And ye shall know the truth, unless it is a lie.
Too many chefs spoil the....

[Whifflingpin]

Too many chefs spoil the Weightwatchers party.

Time and tide....

[RobinHood3000]

...are a magazine and a detergent.

People in glass houses...

[Pendragon]

get arrested for indecent exposure! :blush:

The meek shall inherit...

[Whifflingpin]

The meek shall inherit a few leftovers.

If wishes were horses...

[AutumnGal]

If wishes were horses they'd be a lot harder to clean up after.

The early bird gets...

[ennison]

... a better deal than the early worm.

An apple a day....

[Nightshade]

An apple a day makes alot of pies.

The pen is...

[ennison]

... not a patch on the mighty tongue

The grass is always ....

[Whifflingpin]

The grass is always graminaceous.

Many hands....

[dramasnot6]

Many hands make for a fantastic game of "Sandwhich"!

Two minds are better......

[RobinHood3000]

...but three's a crowd. :p

Too many cooks...

[mir]

. . . Eat all the food! :p

What goes up . . .

[dramasnot6]

must be plastered on with a nail.

Cleanliness is next to.....

[kathycf]

cleanliness is next to the person who lives in a glass house.

Discretion is the better part of

[Miss Darcy]

...one's prudery.

Love makes the world...

[ennison]

So it does!

A cat may ....

[Pendragon]

A cat may decide to have kittens in the middle of one's bed! http://smilies.vidahost.com/contrib/fk/wolfgang.gif

Hark! Hark! The dogs do...

[ennison]

............ pursue my daughter's latest swain out the gate again (whilst I surreptitiously slip the silent whistle out of sight)

Once bitten .....

[BibliophileTRJ]

Once bitten ..... Twice injected with antibiotics.

A fool and his money .........

[Nightshade]

are common enough on ebay.


Blood is......

[BibliophileTRJ]

Blood is.....
difficult to clean up before the police arrive.

Keep your friends close.........

[The Jackle]

keep you friends close but keep a shotgun closer.
'And the angel of death shall stork the land, killing all the...........

[mir]

bad storks?? :p

Beam me up,

[The Jackle]

Beam me up, beam me away from you.

Half a league, half a league,
Half a league onward,
All in the valley of Death
Rode the six hundred.
"Forward,......

[AutumnGal]

Forward, the Light Blondes!

Damn the torpedos...

[BibliophileTRJ]

Damn the torpedos...Let's go back to my place. :brow:

All work and no play............

[Pendragon]

All work and no play and still I get no overtime pay!


Jack and Jill went...

[BibliophileTRJ]

Jack and Jill went... on the pill so they would have no babies.

A friend in need.............

[SleepyWitch]

A friend in need is yet another mouth to feed.

Spare the rod and...

[BibliophileTRJ]

Spare the rod and...
beat the child with your bare hands......or better yet; let ME smack that little brat.

Better the devil you know...........

[SleepyWitch]

Better the devil you know... than the father-in-law you don't. ???

don't count your chickens before...

[Nightshade]

before yyouve had then tested for bird flu.


To Infinity......

[RobinHood3000]

To infinity goes the neighborhood!

A bird in the hand...

[Whifflingpin]

Hah - repeating already!

A bird in the hand gathers no moss.

A rolling stone....

[BibliophileTRJ]

is still on tour at age 90

Nothing in life is certain but............

[Pendragon]

Nothing in life is certain but people have their opinions anyway!

Me Tarzan! You....

[SleepyWitch]

Me Tarzan. You dumb blonde. Us perfect match.


He who pays the piper.....

[BibliophileTRJ]

He who pays the piper..... didn't like the outhouse & wanted indoor plumbing.

If at first you don't succeed...........

[The Jackle]

If at first you dont susceed, use explosives.LOL
Into the breach comrades, for the enemy is .........

[Pendragon]

Into the breach comrades, for the enemy is breachless...

What is so rare as...

[The Jackle]

What is so rare as an darlek?
For god,
For harry
and Saint.......

[Virgil]

What is so rare as a public toilet when you really have to go.

Love is the triumph of ...

[The Jackle]

love is the triuph of nothing.
Hark!Hark!Awake!
Murder!
Murder most foul!
The king dunkan has......

[SleepyWitch]

The King Duncan has dropped his bottle of fake blood!

Silence is golden, but....

[Whifflingpin]

Silence is golden but a silent woman is more precious than rubies.

Where the bee sucks ...

[Pendragon]

Where the bee sucks, the bee also stings!

Ah, distinctly I remember, it was in...

[BibliophileTRJ]

Ah, distinctly I remember, it was in... my pocket a minute ago..... now where did I leave it..... I'm so absent-minded......AHA! There it is!

"Ask not what your country can do for you........"

[The Jackle]

But ask "where is the nearist toilet"
Dont place all your eggs in one....

[the Last 13]

casket

love is not love

[Raphael]

Love is not love which alters where it alteration finds or bends with the remover to remove; O no, 'tis an ever-fixed mark, that looks on tempests and is often shaken.

All the world's a...

[Pendragon]

All the world's a handbasket, and you know where that's headed! http://www.cosgan.de/images/midi/teufel/a015.gif


Hell hath no fury...

[Nightshade]

..like heaven's face scowling.

All the world is...

[The Jackle]

All the world is doomed.
Love is just a wisper in the expance of......

[Pendragon]

Love is just a whisper in the expance of labor pains, but trust me, she will appreciate them all the same... ;)

When I was a child, I spoke like a....

[The Jackle]

When i was just a kid i spoke like a donkey.
Through the vally of the shadow of....

[B-Mental]

gnomes. Really only partial shadows.

One for the money, two for the show, three to get ready! Let's......

[RobinHood3000]

...stop counting. I'm hungry.

One, two, buckle my shoe. Three, four...

[ennison]

Imelda's Song

One, two, buckle my shoe. Three, four try on some more

He who laughs last ....

[Pendragon]

He who laughs last probably just now figured out the joke! :lol:

As I was going up the stair, I meet a man who...

[SleepyWitch]

As I was going up the stair, I meet a man who...
errr??? was coming down?
..who had green hair?

As I was going to St Ives...

[Pendragon]

As I was going to St Ives, I had four flats. That ended that! :(


Tweedledee-dum and Tweedledee-dee resolved to...

[LPRox015]

change their names!

The cheshire cat smiles like a....

[SleepyWitch]

The cheshire cat smiles like a person/an animal that expresses "oral aggression", according to my prof of Victorian Lit (seriously!)

Still waters....

[mir]

still get you wet.

When it rains . . .

[BibliophileTRJ]

When it rains . . . lots of worms drown.

No man is an.........

[Whifflingpin]

No man is an aubergine - unless aubergine is French for innkeeper.

Put out the light, and then...

[Pendragon]

Put out the light, and then put the cat out!

Ah, a meal fit for a King whose...

[zanna]

Ah, a meal fit for a King whose Kingdom encompasses the head of a pin.
lol, wouldn't want to eat that meal!

If wishes were horses . . .

[ennison]

Then our gardens would have plenty manure.

A bird in the hand ...

[Pendragon]

A bird in the hand means poo in the palm! :lol:


It was the best of times...

[tainaprincess]

until they were over.

Life is just...

[ennison]

Life is just here today so eat your bowl of cherries.

A rolling stone ....

[tainaprincess]

A rolling stone can fall on you, so get out of the way!!!!

One of the lessons of history is.....

[ennison]

chocolates never reach their use-by-date

Little jugs have....

[tainaprincess]

tiny holes, so that they never fill up.

The ordinary acts we practice every day at home are ...

[ennison]

The ordinary acts we practice every day at home are known as eccentricities by others.

Ah but a man's reach should .....

[tainaprincess]

Ah but a man's reach should only be as far as his arm will go.

There is no human problem which could not be solved if people would ...

[ennison]

There is no human problem which could not be solved if people would eat more carrots.

Variety is ....

[The Jackle]

veritty is hinez
Into the breach my friends, into the breach, into the vally of death and......

[Pendragon]

Into the breach my friends, into the breach, into the vally of death and...... well, we will probably all die, but life is not permanent, anyhow! :p


I think that I will never see...

[Whifflingpin]

I think that I will never see the nape of my neck.

(Put your hand up if you've just tried to :p )

A damsel with a dulcimer ...

[ennison]

In an ad for Turkish Delight oft I saw.

You can lead a horse to water ....

[RobinHood3000]

...but darned if he can swim.


Wise man say...

[Nightshade]

never argue with choclate deprived female.

Its a bird, its a plane,.....

[Pendragon]

Its a bird, its a plane, *splot* , no, definately a bird! :(

The weed of crime bears...

[The Bookinator]

The weed of crime bears...

a heck of a lot of angry gardeners.

Honor thy neighbor and...

[Pendragon]

Honor thy neighbor and make sure he keeps his dog on its leash! ;)


There is no fool like...

[The Bookinator]

There is no fool like a gullible younger sibling. Heh, heh, heh...


I need you like a....

[SleepyWitch]

I need you like .. a hole in the head ???

And some things that should not have been forgotten...

[Pendragon]

And some things that should not have been forgotten weren't, but we wished that they had been. Oh, yes, we did! :nod:

To be or not to be, that is...

[ktd222]

To be or not to be, that is a question for another day.

I have a dream, that all.........

[The Jackle]

I have a dream, that all nightmares are ended.lol
In the name of god we go, for in deaths plight we will strive for glory and through the foe, we will seek.......

[ennison]

In the name of god we go, for in deaths plight we will strive for glory and through the foe, we will seek....... traces of the yeti yet.

Vivat! Vivat......

[The Bookinator]

Vivat! Vivat! Vroom! -the new chevy motto

Use the____, Luke...

[RobinHood3000]

- Allen wrench. NO, the ALLEN wrench, not the torque - gah, you idiot!!

May the Force...

[SleepyWitch]

May the force always remain a mythical, esoteric.. thingy which nobody can explain where it comes from and why some people have it and others don't, not something that can be scientifically explained and that people have due to wriggly little thingies being in their blood, like in Episode I (II? whichever), s*d the b******* :)

Now is the winter of our discontent....

[Pendragon]

Now is the winter of our discontent because we are much more content in summer! :)

Do or do not. There is no....

[ennison]

Do or do not. There is no point in making unnecessary decisions on a cold winter's morning.

[The Bookinator]

what is the quote? fine, I'll start up again-

*sings off key* When you wish upon a....

[The Jackle]

when you wish upon a star, you are wasting your time!!
Is as impossable to kill a sweet....

[The Bookinator]

puppy. I got 2 pups 2 days ago and they are so adorable! *aww...*

When you say supercalifragalisticexpialidocious...

[ktd222]

When you say supercalifragalisticexpialidocious means you're confused, not me.

Tell the truth, but tell it.......

[zanna]

while playing a harp, just to be weird.

A penny saved . . .

[SleepyWitch]

A penny saved is another stupid coin that will pop up in an unexpected place, like your bed, or between the pages of a book.

An apple a day.... [hope that hasn't been done already]

[ktd222]

An apple a day makes a great conversation starter.

When in doubt,........

[Pendragon]

When in doubt, at least you are in familiar territory! :lol:

Something Wicked this way...

[The Bookinator]

Something wicked this way is hopefully turning around.

With a spoon full of sugar helps the....

[zanna]

Pen, that's great! Where I am, all the time. :lol:

With a spoon full of sugar helps the stock market go ballistic!
(dunno what I'm thinkin', go w. it.)

And, now for . . .

[ktd222]

And, now for the Bobo miming cat

Do you believe in......

[Pendragon]

Do you believe in yourself? Can you prove it? Then, shaddup! :lol:


He'll hang around until the last...

[The Bookinator]

He'll hang around until the last cookie is stolen from the cookie jar.

A long, long time ago in a galaxy far, far away....

[ennison]

A long, long time ago in a galaxy far, far away there was a dark dark planet and on the dark dark planet was a dark dark forest and in the dark dark forest was a dark dark house wherein was a humanoid creature with shaggy hair and green eyes trying to mend a light bulb.

The ploughman homeward plods his .......

[ktd222]

The ploughman homeward plods his plooty plooty ploots.


Some say the world when end in fire, I say in.....

[Pendragon]

Some say the world when end in fire, I say in..... flowers, but what do I know? :D

Break a mirror and get...

[The Bookinator]

A really bad reflection. (Are those wrinkles or is it just my miror? ...Just the miror. ^_^)

A thousand enemies outside the home are better than....

[ktd222]

A thousand enemies outside the home are better than two Saddam Hussein home alone.

You put your right foot in..........

[AutumnGal]

You put your right foot in...that big pile of "oh, no she didn't."

What light from yonder window breaks? It is...

[ktd222]

What light from yonder window breaks? It is I, the Count of Monte Cristo


When in Spain,....

[AutumnGal]

When in Spain, do as the Romans do. :lol:

What's the matter? Cat got your...

[Adelheid]

What's the matter? Cat got your goldfish?

Silence is...

[Pendragon]

Silence is... impossibe in a house with three teenagers! :flare:

To err is ...

[Misscaroline]

human, to forgive, bovine.:D

The only thing to fear...

[Whifflingpin]

The only thing to fear is a hurtling wompaflyer.

If you can keep your head when ....

[The Bookinator]

If you can keep your head on the guillotine, consider yourself better than Houdini.

And the Lord said, "Thou shalt not..."

[Rosethorn]

And the Lord said, "Thou shalt not make any more *insert genre/impressive word here* movies that copy the original Scary Movie!" (Actually, I loved Epic Movie, but not Date Movie, so...)

On the first day, God created...

[Pendragon]

On the first day, God created and man takes the credit... :nod:


Keep your friends close and your enimies...

[Misscaroline]

Keep our friends close, and your enemies in the rhubarb patch.

Shoot for the moon...

[Whifflingpin]

Shoot for the moon, root for the money!

Two vast and trunkless legs of stone....

[ktd222]

Two vast and trunkless legs of stone met a traveller carrying body parts for sale.

Why buy the milk........

[Pendragon]

Why buy the milk, heck, at todays prices for just a little more you can buy the dairy! :lol:

Winken, Blinken, and Nod...

[ktd222]

Winken, Blinken, and Noddles


Behind every great man is....

[Laindessiel]

his St. Bernard licking his slippers. (What would men be without their loving pups??? :p)

The face that launched...

[Pendragon]

The Face that Launched, the new horror book by Stephen King! Buy it today! :lol:

Fair Helen, make me...

[The Jackle]

Fair helen, make me a cake.
It is sweet and hounerbel to die for ones....

[Pendragon]

It is sweet and hounerbel to die for ones who are fighting so hard they can't take time to spell correctly! :lol:

I do not love thee, Doctor Fell...

[ennison]

I do not love thee, Doctor Fell... and it's got to do with how you smell.

Let me not to the marriage of true ......

[Pendragon]

Let me not to the marriage of true lovers bring divorce... :rolleyes:


I must go down to the sea...

[The Bookinator]

I must go down to the sea and surf, dude. Gotta go catch the narly one... Its pretty wicked... Geronimo!!

:eek: It's... too... cold.... to.... swim... :cold:

Well look who's calling the.....

[ennison]

Well look who's calling the kettle a sanctuary for narcoleptic dormice.

And all I ask is a tall ship and .....

[Whifflingpin]

And all I ask is a tall ship and a long beer

Beware the jubjub bird and

[The Bookinator]

Beware the jubjub bird and those nasty kids down the street.... Hooligans...

I don't go looking for trouble. Trouble....

[Pendragon]

I don't go looking for trouble. Trouble wouldn't look for me! :rolleyes:

Are you talking to...

[ennison]

Are you talking to... ethereal beings on the net? Yes I think a few.

(Sorry I didn't recognise that quote)

Reader I ........

[Pendragon]

Are you talking to... ethereal beings on the net? Yes I think a few.

(Sorry I didn't recognise that quote)

Reader I ........

Quote from Robert de Niro in Taxi Driver "Are you talking to me?" while holding a gun in each hand.

Reader I apologize for you having to read this tripe, but my editor is an idiot!

Forescore and seven years ago...

[ennison]

''.... from Robert de Niro in Taxi Driver "Are you talking to me?" while holding a gun in each hand.''
Arrh Popular culture. This is as close as I get and that with great difficulty. Within the next month or so my time will start to be squeezed again.


Forescore and seven years ago makes me a bit younger at LXXXVI


''Here with a Loaf of Bread beneath the Bough
A Flask of Wine, a Book of Verse and .....'

[The Bookinator]

a pair of bunny slippers, nothing can go wrong now!

[The Bookinator]

Goodness, I forgot the quote!
*ahem*

Once upon a time...

[Pendragon]

Once upon a time, twice, if you count the County Jail... :rolleyes:


Somewhere, over the...

[The Bookinator]

goal posts, footballs fly....

Early to bed and early to rise makes...

[Pendragon]

Early to bed and early to rise makes your girl dump you for some other guy... http://www.cosgan.de/images/midi/traurig/d035.gif



Christmas is coming the _________ is getting fat.

[ennison]

Christmas is coming the retailers' bank balances are getting fat.


By the pricking of my thumbs .........,

[Pendragon]

By the pricking of my thumbs, the Doctor tests for sugar. :(


You have to ask yourself the question. Do I feel...

[The Bookinator]

pretty? Oh so pretty and witty and.... *stops singing* Sorry, this song seems to be stuck in my head. ^_^

Lord of the Flames, your....

[Pendragon]

Lord of the Flames, your fire's about two coals short of a bonfire... :rolleyes:


She's so dumb, her elevator doesn't go...

[ennison]

She's so dumb, her elevator doesn't go.
Does she just stand staring at the sign saying 'Take the stairs', scratching her head and then just goes home without the shopping?

Kirk Alloway was drawing nigh, where ghaists (ghosts) and ...........

[Bookworm89]

.....goblins played volleyball.

One if by land, two if.....

[The Bookinator]

One if by land, two if the first one stopped to smell the flowers on the way there.

Nothing good comes from...

[ennison]

Nothing good comes from ... South of the Border.

When I was one-and-twenty
I heard a wise man say ............

[Pendragon]

When I was one-and-twenty
I heard a wise man say "Now you are of legal age!" ;)

Let's go out in a blaze of...

[papayahed]

Hot Wings and Cheap Beer.

When in the course of human events...

[Bookworm89]

...it becomes necessary to sleep.

We the people, in order to form a more perfect union, establish....

[ennison]

Let's go out in a blaze of... apathy??

As I was walking all alane,
I heard twa corbies making a mane;
The tane unto t'other gan say ......................

[Pendragon]

As I was walking all alane,
I heard twa corbies making a mane;
The tane unto t'other gan say ...

ye auld fool, maun we talk this way? :lol:


Not this night, but the night before...

[BibliophileTRJ]

Not this night, but the night before...

My boyfriend slipped a "Dear John" letter under my door. :bawling:



What goes up......

[Bookworm89]

...is not my grades.

Early to bed....

[Pendragon]

Early to bed...with kids in the house is impossible! http://www.cosgan.de/images/midi/muede/d015.gif

One misty moisty morning...

[BibliophileTRJ]

my mother made me muffins

Too many cooks.............

[littlewing53]

make a wonderful quiche...


keep thy heart w/all diligence...

[Pendragon]

keep thy heart w/all diligence, wear a bullet-proof vest!


You best be outa __________ before sundown, pal.

[AdoreroDio]

You best be outa your bed by sun down,pal. (Even then its quite a bit late to be gettin up)

A penny saved is a ....

[BibliophileTRJ]

loooooooooooong way from a retirement fund.

Birds of a feather..........

[littlewing53]

all cook in the same pot...

time is....

[Pendragon]

time is now 4:54 by my watch, which is often wrong. :lol:


There is more than one way to skin a...

[ennison]

There is more than one way to skin a... banana

You may talk of gin and beer
When you're ......

[Pendragon]

You may talk of gin and beer
When you're ......when you're tossed out on your rear... http://www.cosgan.de/images/midi/nahrung/c020.gif


Here's to the man who's already dead. and here's to...

[BibliophileTRJ]

the man who's in my bed.

The bigger they are......

[Pendragon]

The bigger they are......, the faster I find I can run! ;)


But, oh, heart, heart, heart, oh the bleeding...

[BibliophileTRJ]

won't stop...... I need to take a nap now.......

To be, or not to be.............

[Pendragon]

To be, or not to be............. Lessee, am I in the right apparment building? http://i94.photobucket.com/albums/l108/AbsalomKane/Smilies/clerical.gif


There are strange things done in....

[The Raven]

...this forum, ain't they? ----- this way?


Early to bed, and early to rise...

[littlewing53]

makes the rooster miss his mark...

[littlewing53]

4got to add the next....

sugar is sweet....

[BibliophileTRJ]

but not as sweet as littlewing53.

United we stand..........

[littlewing53]

helpless we become

tanks bib..yr always smiling...

[littlewing53]

darn forgot again....

rolling stone gathers....

[BibliophileTRJ]

lots of useless pop-culture info to publish each month.

A stitch in time............

[littlewing53]

is just another day of living on the street...

happy is the man that finds....

[Pendragon]

happy is the man that finds.... his wallet before his wife does! http://i94.photobucket.com/albums/l108/AbsalomKane/Smilies/guilty.gif


Guilty as...

[zanna]

the cookie-stealer.

When the going gets rough . . .

[BibliophileTRJ]

don't come whining to me about it.

I'm not just another...........

[Pendragon]

I'm not just another...........sucker, and Im packin' heat! http://i94.photobucket.com/albums/l108/AbsalomKane/goted04.gif


In every life a little rain must....

[ennison]

In every life a little rain must fall or there would be some would never wash at all at all.

Young Ethelred was only three
Or somewhere thereabouts when he .....

[Pendragon]

Young Ethelred was only three
Or somewhere thereabouts when he .....
Couldn't haul his behind out of his beddy—
That's why they called him Ethelred the Unready... http://i94.photobucket.com/albums/l108/AbsalomKane/Smilies/hilarious.gif


If Moses supposes his toeses are roses...

[ennison]

If Moses supposes his toeses are roses... then that's why it's not to a chiropodist but gardener he goes ... es - to get those atrocious toeses prunocious

John Gilpen was a citizen
Of credit and renown ....

[Pendragon]

John Gilpen was a citizen
Of credit and renown ....
Creditted with bank robbery--
And "Longest sentence ever given." his renown. http://i94.photobucket.com/albums/l108/AbsalomKane/Smilies/bandit.gifhttp://i94.photobucket.com/albums/l108/AbsalomKane/jailed.gif



Whose woods these are I think...

[Pendragon]

Whose woods these are I think... they're posted: No Tresspassing! http://i94.photobucket.com/albums/l108/AbsalomKane/Smilies/bobby.gif


There is often a slip between...

[Pendragon]

There is often a slip between... between a shirt and a hip! Or should be... http://i94.photobucket.com/albums/l108/AbsalomKane/Smilies/bride.gif


Don't shake your family tree unless you are prepared to...

[Pendragon]

Don't shake your family tree unless you are prepared to... get the shock of your life! http://i94.photobucket.com/albums/l108/AbsalomKane/Smilies/disgusted.gif


Oh, East is East and West is West and never...
http://i94.photobucket.com/albums/l108/AbsalomKane/Smilies/sno6_thumb.gif

[Pendragon]

Oh, East is East and West is West and never... mind, I'm driving, and I am not lost, and no, I will not stop and ask for directions! http://smilies.vidahost.com/contrib/xerx/MODhappychevelle2.gif

If at first you don't succeed...

[ennison]

Look for an inspired spider

There was a young lady from Riga
Who went for a ride on a tiger (only an Englishman could make that rhyme!)

[Pendragon]

There was a young lady from Riga
Who went for a ride on a tiger

Just before the king made that dude,
Make his choice mean and crude,
So that there wouldn't be anything left but the tiger!


The shades of night were falling fast
When through an Alpine villiage past
A youth who bore...

[littlewing53]

no malice towards alice
ran fast towards the brightly lite palace

as anxious as a long tailed cat in a room full of...

[Pendragon]

as anxious as a long tailed cat in a room full of... mousetraps... http://i94.photobucket.com/albums/l108/AbsalomKane/friendly.gif


The fog creeps in...

[Pendragon]

The fog creeps in..., the creeps creep out... http://i94.photobucket.com/albums/l108/AbsalomKane/Smilies/alien.gif

A pessimist would look for bones in...

[RobinHood3000]

...Jell-O.

Ghosts never come out at...

[littlewing53]

dawn to taste the morning dew

To get to heaven...

[Pendragon]

To get to heaven...avoid the left turn at Albuquerque...

Good things come to those who...

[Pendragon]

Good things come to those who...usually don't need them anyway... http://i94.photobucket.com/albums/l108/AbsalomKane/pope.gif


Peter Piper picked a peck of ...

[cuppajoe_9]

Peter Piper picked a peck of perversely perturbed pteranodon prefects.

When all you have is a hammer...

[RobinHood3000]

...HULK SMASH!!!


When life starts firing lemons at you from a semi-automatic fruit cannon...

[Pendragon]

the LAST thing on your mind is making lemonade. You'd better make TRACKS outa there!


221B or not 221B...

[Pendragon]

221B or not 221B..., that's the question, Sherlock! http://i94.photobucket.com/albums/l108/AbsalomKane/HolmesIILogo.jpg

Bury my heart at...

[ennison]

At the nearest planet to Alpha Centauri if you want to inherit my millions son.

Her boat hath a leak.....

[Pendragon]

Her boat hath a leak..... silly cow forgot to put the drain plug back in! http://i94.photobucket.com/albums/l108/AbsalomKane/Smilies/MissMoo.gif


Pardon me, would you mind helping...

[BibliophileTRJ]

Pardon me, would you mind helping... me to hold onto these animals...they get kind of squirmy when they know they're going to the vet!


I think that I shall never see............

[Pendragon]

I think that I shall never see............you again! I mean, what a woofer! http://i94.photobucket.com/albums/l108/AbsalomKane/Ugha.gif

But if any man be ignorant, let him....

[littlewing53]

eat apple pie ala mode

he who asks is a fool for five minutes, he who doesn't ask is a...

[Pendragon]

he who asks is a fool for five minutes, he who doesn't ask is a...man whom is probably married! http://i94.photobucket.com/albums/l108/AbsalomKane/GuyinCar.gif


A fool and his money are soon...

[Bookworm89]

A fool and his money are soon... at someone else's disposal.

To thine own self...

[Pendragon]

To thine own self...keep thy hands, else thou wilt have no hands! http://i94.photobucket.com/albums/l108/AbsalomKane/RCG.gif


A rose by any other name would smell...

[ennison]

As sweet as Daphne, Chrissie, Marybelle.

Ah now you see why he redrafted that!

'Tis a true nose said ..... (That's from Tristram S)

[Pendragon]

'Tis a true nose... said the bloodhound, walking into a tree...

It is the lark, the hearld of...

[ennison]

It is the lark, the herald of........happiness but the messenger of guilt to those who procrastinate'

That's not so much mangled as mauled.

'During the whole of a dull, dark, and soundless day in the autumn of the year .....'

[Pendragon]

'During the whole of a dull, dark, and soundless day in the autumn of the year .....', I was so bored I set out two lumps of sugar, and took to shooting at flies...

"They came from the primeval jungle, four gaunt specimens of the..."

[ennison]

"They came from the primeval jungle, four gaunt specimens of the...latest genetic experiments of Dr Moreau into neanderthal DNA. But evaded pursuit and were quickly lost to view by mingling with a crowd of Old Firm football supporters."


'I come from haunts of coot and hern......'

[Pendragon]

'I come from haunts of coot and hern......' so I have the cooties and a hernia! http://i94.photobucket.com/albums/l108/AbsalomKane/Smilies/ROFL.gif


"You don't know anything about me without you have read..."

[ennison]

You can take a horse to water but you cant make him throw stones through a glass house.