no idea where the h--- this came from

[azmuse]

*

[fayefaye]

Originally posted by azmuse
- i don't mind that you're not
coming back, i just
wish god i wish
i hate this i wish you'd taken me
with you...

I love the ending.

[serpico]

This is beautiful.

(Be right back . . .)

[serpico]

Off topic, did you know that each time I ejaculate there are two-hundred million sperm that come out? That's like a whole fùcking civilization in a stain on my boxers. So why do people say their kids are special?

[fayefaye]

LOL. I can't believe I'm laughing at that. :) cuz they don't want to believe something with their genes is really just another annoying little kid?

[sloegin]

Grey gym socks.

[serpico]

A very crusty pillowcase.

[sloegin]

Ouch, my eye.

[fayefaye]

.

[sloegin]

You have no idea what we are talking about. And we've given you all the answers.

[azmuse]

my poor baby! (i mean the poem, serpico)

though...200 mil seems low - only 'cause about 400 million of the little guys are manufactured daily in an average adult male (what a LOT of work for you!) anyway, if a guy does that a lot yes it's 200 or so each time; if he only has sex (with another or himself) 3 times/week, then i think it's more into the billions (as per instructor)

[b]

Azmuse,

This is what I would call "perpetual spring": it flows, and keeps flowing from the beginning to the end, almost without pauses, but not in the classical "lactea ubertas" sense of the word. It is a very smooth stream of consciousness. The continual element is also found back in the theme of the poem, which is one of the elements why it feels good when I read it. When the character sort of 'gives up' emotionally, there's time for breath again: the poem stops.

Good!

[azmuse]

faye, thank you, that was sweet. as per the title, i'm not sure how this happened or from where, but found myself a little frightened/teary as i wrote the end - am glad you like it :)

serpico, How! nice - thanks...

thank you Bart; i will have to look up "lactea ubertas" (am guessing it's a flow of sorts, like milk and all from a mother)...a very helpful commentary - 'preciate it!

[azmuse]

since google's not helping, and i assume still, from the little i read there, that it does relate to a maternal, milky flow, do you mind please clarifying the term for me, Bart?

[b]

"Lactea Ubertas" means something like "creamy (milky) plentiness", which usually refers to archaic superfluousness that can be found in classical, usually prozaic writers. What I meant to say was that you do have the perpetual flow that is associated with this phenomenon in your poem, while remaining natural, as opposed to the often much too complicated sentences of the some other writers. (You could say that my style sometimes has "lactea ubertas", not only in the most direct sense of the word, and according to most, it's positive.)

It is a flow.

[serpico]

Lactea wha----?

Bart and his smarty-pants words that no one with any regard for communication would ever use.

Hey Bart, we're down here! Look at us shuffling with our brooms in the heat of the sun! <swiffity-sweep>

[azmuse]

.

.

[azmuse]

waller now, as i did done start to say:

thankie, bart. ah 'preciate you clarifiyin' that word ubert- bert someone or suchlike

serpico, we's ony drippin sweat ova' here cause we shoveling ice ofen the sidewalks. you gots it good.

p.s. ;) can i pinch your cheeks?

[serpico]

Only if you're good.

[serpico]

Hehe, Americans are sofa king read hard ad . . .

[azmuse]

if i'm good...

*smiles mysterious and secretively

[azmuse]

either amn't sure or amn't telling.

my mouse, however is giving me fits!

[amuse]

by the way, since some of you still check this thread out, this poem's now in my collection because #2 at http://www.online-literature.com/forums/showthread.php?s=&threadid=2215