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brainstrain
12-14-2006, 09:57 PM
for the last five months,
I have been searching,
searching for a better
more confident, more perfect
version of me;
only to discover
that I am the only me
I can be

Not until I had suffered the uncontrollable wrath
the senseless guilt
the irresesitable lust
the unescapable depression
the imcomprehensable joy
did I realize the gigantic circle I was moving in
always thinking of progress

No, i'm not outgoing, brilliant, attractive, or even as confident as I would like to be
But I am me
David, D. Rush, Orbie, Brainstrain, Pookie Pages.
At long, long last I have found the me I need to be
Yes, as cheesy as it may be
After this long journey I can finally see
All I need to be is Me

~David Rush

Most of it doesn't rhyme, but i quickly jotted it down during one of my increasingly rare moments of inspiration. I might work on it someday, but for now, I am content.

:D

jon1jt
12-15-2006, 12:32 AM
the poem doesn't have to rhyme to be a great poem. it's a good effort, and i appreciate the poem's message. if you ever get around to working on it, you might consider shortening the 1st and 3rd lines in the last stanza and the simple adjustment i made below. food for thought, that's all.

for the last five months,
I have been searching,
searching for a better
more confident, more perfect
version of me;
only to discover
that I am the only me
I can be


--thanks for sharing brain-!

brainstrain
12-20-2006, 01:10 AM
Thanks so much! I took all your advice except shortening the first line on the last stanza. It may be long, but it is important to its meaning to me.

Which has changed considerably since I wrote it :D

You may not be able to tell from the ending, but my journey is far from over...

and the first step would be figuring out my parents. Just when we have acheived a nice, light-hearted, enjoyable conversation the suddenly become distant and unresponsive. You cannot imagine how much this confused me before I realized it wasn't my fault.

Aults who never finished growing up try to help someone else grow up is a sticky situation...especially for the younger of those two parties...

Oh well. They are both nice enough if you get them alone, but together its almost impossible...I've always liked a challenge ^_^

Dr Eep
12-20-2006, 06:29 AM
.... David Rush - the names got destiny ringing - keep on answering that call mate!