A Poem I wrote just before the new Millennium

[atiguhya padma]

As I looked through a kissing gate
When snow lay all around
The ageing Sun sadly prostrate
His face upon the ground
And trees were clasping at the sky
And clawing through the air
It seemed that all Humanity
Had left us standing there.

And then I saw from far away
The place where I was now
And words of sadness I did say
Seemed hopeful then somehow
The clouds were bloodied with the Sun
Leaving with dying rage
The fence which round this field did run
Seemed like a prison cage.

And though I smiled, I laughed aloud,
The world was dark and mad
My thoughts lay distant like the cloud
And I was deeply sad
From this world's madness I had come
To taste its bitterness
And feel its pain and so become
Part of its helplessness

The Sun was dead, dark filled the air,
His screaming had release
And He infected each cloud there
With the fire of disease.
From a spaceless, a timeless place
This moment I could see
But could not recognise my face
For I was losing me.

[Jayyy]

It's all right; I like the first paragraph, and I am commenting because I especially liked this part:

"It seemed that all Humanity
Had left us standing there."

Cheers.

[azmuse]

!!!HAPPY BIRTHDAY, atiguhya!!!

[atiguhya padma]

Thanks Azmuse.

That's very kind of you.

I'll have to wait to November to return your greeting!

Atiguhya Padma.

[Isagel]

Since you can´t hear it I´ll just write some sound effects

*clap, clap clap*

Clapping hands, almost in loss of words.
This is amazing. Strong, both in imagery and in phrasing.

Somehow the rythm and the tone of the poem reminds me of Dicknnsons "I felt a funeral in my mind" - one of my favorite poems.

[atiguhya padma]

Isagel,

Thank you so much for your comments. I feel quite flattered!

I haven't read the Dickinson poem, but now you mention it, I'll try and track it down.

You cannot see this, but I'll now take a bow and clap you back!;)

Thanks,

Atiguhya Padma