A sonnet!?

[Jolly McJollyso]

Yeah, I actually wrote a sonnet. I've been challenging myself to write in more fixed forms recently. If y'all like this, I'll show you my villanelle.

On the Holistic Divinity of Fixed Form

Alternate Title: A Cross Stick.
_________________________________

Every marching iamb, lined in rows—
Looking for his “-ic” and matching rhyme—
Enters into packing which, when closed,
Glows with bright, transcendent light, confined.

All together found that were once lost,
Now within a blessed and holy form,
Counted, numbered, shined, and polished—glossed,
Every marching metric must conform.

In the end they come to paradise.
Soft and warm the end their marches reach.
All ascend, and so their souls now rise.
Lifted, they are dropped; they cry and screech.

Ill befalls—they fall, and so they must.
Essence trades them genocide for trust.


There's a hidden "ending" line that, for some reason, no one I've shown this to has caught... Please somebody point it out.

[dyingflame]

is it ironic though or are you really celebrating fixed forms of writing poetry?

[Jolly McJollyso]

is it ironic though or are you really celebrating fixed forms of writing poetry?
The irony should be fairly clear...

[Il Penseroso]

By the hidden ending do you mean the religious aspect? I'm not certain specifically what's going on there, but I get the general idea, I believe.

I do like the piece though. Quite clever use of the form.

[Jolly McJollyso]

By the hidden ending do you mean the religious aspect? I'm not certain specifically what's going on there, but I get the general idea, I believe.

I do like the piece though. Quite clever use of the form.
No, I actually am referring to linguistic binary's rather than religion.

The hidden ending is the acrostic down the side "Elegance is a lie."

Mostly it's commenting on so-called "elevated" language attempting to fix meaning to words that they may completely and perfectly describe the objects to which they apply. Hence the iambs search for an "-ic" or a suffix that would fix quality: for example "bombastic," "tragic," and "comic."

[Pendragon]

Good sonnet. I tried one like this, but I got caught. The innocent sounding sonnet read "George W Bush, PSN" down the side! Hee-hee! ;)

[Jolly McJollyso]

Good sonnet. I tried one like this, but I got caught. The innocent sounding sonnet read "George W Bush, PSN" down the side! Hee-hee! ;)
Hahaha, very nice. I've never been into writing about politics or religion, other than merely as a sidenote (no pun intended considering the acrostic nature of the poem). Typically I write about language, I find it the most fun subject to attempt and fail to tackle. If you liked the poems, check out my short story haha.