Love of a friend

[SmilesAF]

I know a boy,
i've known him for a long time,
Sometimes i wish we'd never met.

I Used to know you,
as the "funny guy"
the happy guy,

I used to know you...
But lately,
Something's happening.

You won't tell me what.
You won't tell me why,
You'll tell my friends.

To me you just lie.
I don't know why,
You somehow don't trust me.

You used to, remember?
and i trusted you.
What happened?

I no longer recognise you,
and it's like you're hiding from me....
What did i do?

Where did he go?
I don't really know,
But one things for sure,
He's not there anymore.

_____________________________-

I'm not mad at you............... I'm just lost.....

[Helga]

I didn't like it. the idea is good but it dosn't come out right.
needs work

[Koa]

I agree...the idea is clear, but it needs some elaboration. It looks a bit like a first attempt, trying to make a poem out of your feelings, and the poem comes out but it's naive.
(it reminds me a lot of some of my own stuff, both for the topic and for the exasperated simplicity that makes it scream in need of some elaboration ;))

[SmilesAF]

I wrote ths poem one day after school. At the time i was really frustrated with my best friend. I came hoem, switche on the computer, and just wrote the sentences that came to mind. That's what came out. I don't know why i published it, i wouldn't say it's some of my better poetry.
That's the story behind it and it's simplicity anyway.

[Koa]

I understand perfectly, that's how I often write too (and as I said I've been in a similar situatio too). As we said, it's not a bad job, just it could be better. It's good that you shared it, nevermind if it's not the one you'll win the Nobel prize for :)