The Case of the Cautious Casanova

[Pendragon]

In this story you will meet many pulp characters. Clark Savage, Jr. is Doc Savage. He had five assistants, "Ham" Brooks, the Lawyer, "Monk" Mayfair, the Chemist, "Renny" Renwick, the Engineer, "Johnny" Littlejohn, Archeologist and Geologist, and "Long Tom" Roberts, Electrical engineer. His cousin "Pat" Savage is an unofficial sixth.

Lamont Cranston is the Shadow's radio identity, but just another disguise in the magazine. Margo Lane is aware that Lamont is the Shadow but unaware that The Shadow isn't Lamont Cranston.

Richard Wentworth is The Spider. Nita van Sloan was his girlfriend. Other crew included Ram Singh, his faithful Hindu manservant; Jackson, the chauffer; and Jenkyns, the butler.

Richard Henry Benson is The Avenger. Shocked to the point of near insanity by the crimes perpetrated upon him by a crime boss, Benson’s hair turned white and his face dead and clay like. A later shock restored his face’s mobility and his hair grew black again. His crew includes Fergus MacMurdie, wizard of pharmaceuticals, the giant Smitty, electrical engineer, Josh and Rosabel Jones, highly educated African-American couple with a flair for acting, Nellie Grey, a tiny woman master of jujitsu, and Cole Wilson, an adventurer close in skill to The Avenger himself.

I think you will recognize any others. They are two mysteries here. Who is the one who is dating the other’s girlfriends when that hero is out of town disguised as another hero? And who is the mysterious “Old Man” at the Cobalt Club? It is obvious that he’s wealthy, since he has a membership in the Club.

Any comments will be appreciated. I can never publish this, (too many copywrite problems!), fanfiction written for fun only.

Enjoy!

Pen

[phantasmgoria]

Very nice, I enjoyed reading it

[brainstrain]

Hm, sounds interesting. if i have a spare moment this weekend i'll take a look.

[Pendragon]

Arauuuuuugh! 64 hits and no one is reading the story or leaving feedback! Must I grovel and beg? How about pretty please with a cherry on top? Somebody? Anybody? :bawling:

[RobinHood3000]

Nicely written, Pen - I'm duly impressed, it's rare to find a consistently strong story of that length. And of course, the abilities of young Mr. Grayson and the cameo of Mr. Parker are draws. There are a couple points here and there where it's a little uncertain what you're trying to say, but nothing that you wouldn't be able to find yourself with another draft or two. The ability to convey what one sees in one's mind is not often mastered, but you're well on your way. Well done, brother.

[Pendragon]

Nicely written, Pen - I'm duly impressed, it's rare to find a consistently strong story of that length. And of course, the abilities of young Mr. Grayson and the cameo of Mr. Parker are draws. There are a couple points here and there where it's a little uncertain what you're trying to say, but nothing that you wouldn't be able to find yourself with another draft or two. The ability to convey what one sees in one's mind is not often mastered, but you're well on your way. Well done, brother.Thank you, Robin. I take it you caught Bruce and Selena as well? :)

[RobinHood3000]

Of course, but I've always been partial to Dick and Pete. :) Sidekicks are fascinating, and Spider-Man's genuinely one-of-a-kind.

[Jean-Baptiste]

Arauuuuuugh! 64 hits and no one is reading the story or leaving feedback! Must I grovel and beg? How about pretty please with a cherry on top? Somebody? Anybody? :bawling:

I know just how you feel, Pendragon. (Please note the link in my signature.)

I did read your story last week, and liked it very much. I was trying to compose a proper critique in my mind/I've been terribly busy preparing for final exams/I wasn't sure that I was qualified to comment. I'm not too hip about comic-book characters, so I think some elements passed over my head. That is, if there were some motives and actions that would be explained by a familiarity with the origins of these characters. Despite being conscious of the possibility that I might be missing something, after forcing myself to divorce the story from any origins that the various elements may have, I found it to be quite a well rounded mystery. It was very clever the way you set things up, speaking for the plot only at the moment, to introduce the conflict and allow it to build throughout the story before revealing the intricacies of who done it at the very end. I was quite bewildered by the insistance of all of the fighting characters that they each were innocent, and that their opponents were absolutely...well, I won't explain your plot to you--I like it.

These characters were very well portrayed. As I said before, I'm not that familiar with them (Bruce Wayne, of course I know Bruce Wayne) so I can't say that they are good because you've sketched them faithfully, or you've put a great deal of yourself into imagining their actions and motivations. Regardless, I found them all very lively and distinct. (The old man at the bar--wow, what a tolerance.):D

As Robin pointed out above, there were a few places that I wasn't quite able to come to a definite decision about what was taking place. I sort of assumed that it was my own lack of familiarity with the characters that caused that, which may be a point for you to focus on in any revision that you undertake: Don't assume that the characters are already alive in your reader's mind; create the characters from scratch, even if you're merely following a recipe, to be sure that they are full characters in your individual story. I know it's quite contradictory to say that I loved the characterization, and that that was the one possible problem, but I mean them both sincerely.

In any case, I enjoyed reading this story very much. Thanks for sharing it with us!

[Pendragon]

Perhaps a note of explanation would help those who have read the story:

Doc Savage has a reputation for being totally woman-proof. He has a secret lab in the Artic he calls his “Fortress of Solitude”. When there, he is totally cut off from the world, unless he makes the contact himself. His men have often suspected that he has been spending the time with Mayan Princess Monya, down in Hildiago. Later, proven at least partially true, since she has his children.

In public, Doc usually is with his cousin Pat, who is very much her own woman, and later has a daughter with Monk Mayfair.

Richard Benson, The Avenger’s, wife and daughter were murdered and dropped into the ocean from a plane while he was in the Loo. He was told he never had a wife and daughter, and nearly went insane. Later, he avenged his family’s deaths, but he never dates anyone.

While Margo Lane is The Shadow’s (Lamont Cranston) girlfriend, she is also just another agent. He does have feeling for her, and later they have a child. So he would grow angry over another man dating her behind his back.

Nita van Sloan and The Spider (Richard Wentworth) are deeply involved and The Spider has an explosive temper to begin with and is touchy beyond belief where Nita is involved.

Monk Mayfair and Ham Brooks, two of Doc Savage’s crew, the Chemical Engineer and the Lawyer are friendly enemies, and constantly battle over dates.

Smitty, Benson’s Engineer, dates Nellie Gray, petite master of jujitsu. Since Smitty is abnormally strong and worships Nellie, to get in between them is tanamount to suicide.

No explanation should be needed for the relationship between Bruce Wayne (Batman) and Selena Kyle (Catwoman).

The Old Man (James Butler Hickock) is from real life. “Wild Bill” Hickock was known as the deadliest shot in the West, one of the candidates for the fastest draw. The only known stand-up gunfight was between Hickock and another man who dared him. He killed the man with a single shot through the heart, (cap and ball pistol), at over 70 yards. Hickock himself was killed in Deadwood, ND, August 2, 1876, shot in the back of the head with a .45-caliber revolver by Jack McCall. Legend has it that Hickok's hand in poker was a Pair of Aces, and a pair of Eights, with the fifth card disputed. This became “The Dead Man’s Hand.” As you can tell, I took a bit of literatureary licence in bringing a dead man back to life as a 90+ character in a 30’s to 40’s era story.

This is James Butler "Wild Bill" Hickock before his death, so age him and you get a good idea of the Old Man!

http://www.hollywoodusa.co.uk/images/wildbillhickock.jpg

[SleepyWitch]

hello Uncle Pen,
I've printed out your story and will try to read it over the weekend if I can find a spare minute. I've never read any of your stories except the ones you submitted in the contest, so it will be interesting to read something new :)

[SleepyWitch]

I've read the first couple of pages and love the old man's accent and swagger :)
but obviously, I'll have to read all of it to give you proper feedback

[zanna]

I really enjoyed your story, and I'm glad you've shared it with all of us. It took me a while to catch on to all the characters, but it makes more sense now. :idea: I think it is perfectly fine without knowing "who they are," though, I still liked it, before I understood what you had done. A question for you: the six inch heels, is that based in reality at all? I don't have much experience with heels, but enough to know that 6" ones wouldn't be very comfortable! I like your storytelling style, and appreciated all the details you put in that helped me visualize it all "going down." Are there other short stories (or long stories) that you have?

[Pendragon]

I really enjoyed your story, and I'm glad you've shared it with all of us. It took me a while to catch on to all the characters, but it makes more sense now. :idea: I think it is perfectly fine without knowing "who they are," though, I still liked it, before I understood what you had done. A question for you: the six inch heels, is that based in reality at all? I don't have much experience with heels, but enough to know that 6" ones wouldn't be very comfortable! I like your storytelling style, and appreciated all the details you put in that helped me visualize it all "going down." Are there other short stories (or long stories) that you have?Yes, the six-inch heels were part of Wild Bill's vainity. In those days, not many men were over six feet, witness the picture taken at Gettysburg when President Lincoln reviewed the troops. At 6'4'', he towers over everyone! The heels were like Buffalo Bill Cody's hip boots, a trade mark.

I'll post some short stories soon. For now, there are plenty in the back pages of the Brain Teasers Tread under Games, the short mysteries I write for The Shadow Magazine in Review Website I'm known there as Jonathan Blade. I should have a new one coming up on the site next Friday.

Thanks for your comments. :)

[LPRox015]

Great story! Thanks for sharing it with all of us. I for one really appreciate it! :) keep up the good work!

[SleepyWitch]

hey our Uncle, I still haven't read your story :( i know i promised to do it over Xmas but i still haven't got round to it. will read it as soon as i can find the time. *bad bad witchy* :(

[Pendragon]

Forgiven, Sleepy. So I do hope you enjoy it when you can read it! ;)

[SleepyWitch]

I'm sure I will :)