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azmuse
01-06-2004, 01:51 AM
*
AbdoRinbo
01-06-2004, 02:29 PM
Lucid and supple.
azmuse
01-06-2004, 02:37 PM
Silky and wanton.
Koa
01-06-2004, 03:03 PM
I like it but not as much as the others... it flows nicely and it has the same broken style but not as broken...
I'm not sure I like the idea of the 'the' at the end, it seems like pushing the innovation too far, if you see what I mean...
AbdoRinbo
01-06-2004, 03:06 PM
If Finnegans Wake ended with 'the', why can't this poem?
Koa
01-06-2004, 03:32 PM
Did it?
Yes that's what i think of Joyce...he pushed the limits just for the sake of it... *waiting to be executed for her opinion*
AbdoRinbo
01-06-2004, 03:44 PM
It's easier just to call you a dumb***.
Isagel
01-06-2004, 11:06 PM
I like the ending. Makes it feel like the poem falls apart as well.
aiks
01-07-2004, 03:25 AM
Originally posted by Isagel
I like the ending. Makes it feel like the poem falls apart as well.
to me 'the' made the poem last, like it just did not end there, but kept going on and on - like a dance in a circle of the madness world...
amuse
03-15-2004, 02:41 PM
by the way, since some of you still check this thread out, this poem's now in my collection because #2 at http://www.online-literature.com/forums/showthread.php?s=&threadid=2215