Polygamy, polyandry, polygyny

[mir]

What do you think about it?

[SleepyWitch]

hum, it's interesting you should bring this question up :)
are you thinking of marrying two husbands?;) (you're a girl, right? I still can't get my head round it :) )

I don't think I'd want two spouses, but why not? Can't see anything wrong with it, actually. As long as all parties agree that it's a good idea, I mean.

[Nightshade]

I don't think I'd want two spouses, but why not? Can't see anything wrong with it, actually. As long as all parties agree that it's a good idea, I mean.

ditto

ok get polygamy but whats polyandry and polygyny ???

and whats the differance polygamy and bigamy ....:confused:

[SleepyWitch]

bigamy= two spouses (i.e. 3 people altogether)
polygamy = lots of spouses (more than two)

polyandry = lots of husbands
polygyny = lots of wives

SleepyWitch's wisecracking = benefits of a classical education

[Nightshade]

interestings andry= male then??
hummm husbandry....gasp:eek2:
I love learning new things :D:D

[SleepyWitch]

hahahha nope, night, it's not as simple as that :)
andros is Greek for "man" (cf. androgynous)
this does not mean that whenever you get the syllable -andry it means 'man', though
the Old English word for husband was a compound of two words, actually: hus (with a long 'oo', meaning 'house')) and erhem.. some other word 'bonda' or something, meaning a free farmer who owns land... so a husband is a free farmer who also owns a house. I don't know about the number of his wives, though :)

[Virgil]

Two spouses mean double the arguments. No thank you. One is enough. :D And I can imagine the female fighting and competing for attention. No sir, not for me. Husbands already die younger than their wives. It would really put me into an early grave. :lol:

[SleepyWitch]

Virgil, you could always leave the wives to quarrel among themselves and go to the pub for quiet pint meanwhile :)

[Scheherazade]

Two spouses mean double the arguments. No thank you. One is enough. :D Thought it wouldn't be argument when only one is doing the talking!
Husbands already die younger than their wives. It would really put me into an early grave. :lol:Husbands die younger only because they refuse to listen to what their wives tell them!

;)

[Madhuri]

Two spouses mean double the arguments. No thank you. One is enough. :D And I can imagine the female fighting and competing for attention. No sir, not for me. Husbands already die younger than their wives. It would really put me into an early grave. :lol:

:lol: :lol:

You are too much :lol:

[Nightshade]

Two spouses mean double the arguments. No thank you. One is enough. :D And I can imagine the female fighting and competing for attention. No sir, not for me. Husbands already die younger than their wives. It would really put me into an early grave. :lol:

and imagine if they ganged up on you :goof:

[Virgil]

Virgil, you could always leave the wives to quarrel among themselves and go to the pub for quiet pint meanwhile :)

Yeah, but then I would have two women telling me I can't go. :nod:


and imagine if they ganged up on you
:eek2: Good Lord. I hadn't thought of that. And what if they are both at that time of the month together. :cold:

[mir]

yes but is it fair that in some countries men have lots of wives, but i've never heard of women having more than one husband? come on, we've got to have the fun side once in a while! :D

i was just reading Things Fall Apart so i was thinking about this . . . i actually think it makes sense. whether it's more guys or more girls, i often find that having three people in something makes everybody get along a lot better than having 2.

especially if we could find another for Virgil . . . :lol: :lol:

[kilted exile]

bigamy= two spouses (i.e. 3 people altogether)
polygamy = lots of spouses (more than two)

polyandry = lots of husbands
polygyny = lots of wives

SleepyWitch's wisecracking = benefits of a classical education

and a monopoly is a lonely parrot

[SleepyWitch]

i was just reading Things Fall Apart so i was thinking about this . . . i actually think it makes sense. whether it's more guys or more girls, i often find that having three people in something makes everybody get along a lot better than having 2.


I'm beginning to believe in telepathy! I'm writing a short story where a guy comes to the same conclusion... great I was going to post it in the competition, but now I've spoiled it :(
what's Things Fall Apart?

yep, of course it's unfair that in some cultures guys can have lots of wives but not the other way round :)

[Virgil]

yes but is it fair that in some countries men have lots of wives, but i've never heard of women having more than one husband? come on, we've got to have the fun side once in a while! :D

i was just reading Things Fall Apart so i was thinking about this . . . i actually think it makes sense. whether it's more guys or more girls, i often find that having three people in something makes everybody get along a lot better than having 2.

especially if we could find another for Virgil . . . :lol: :lol:

Yeah but wait a second. I could never imagine being part of some woman's harem of men. Multiple men sharing a woman. I can't see that working.

[Scheherazade]

yep, of course it's unfair that in some cultures guys can have lots of wives but not the other way round :)Are you serious?

Who wants to collect twice as many socks from the floor, put twice as many toilet lids down or listen to twice as many grunts and such?

[Virgil]

Are you serious?

Who wants to collect twice as many socks from the floor, put twice as many toilet lids down or listen to twice as many grunts and such?

I guess if the guys did get along, they would have a good time drinking beer and watching football, while the wife is taking care of the children. Yeah, that sounds good. :D :D

[SleepyWitch]

well, Scher, my 'husband' (boyfriend) does the laundry, cleaning, food shopping, he collects my socks off the floor, sits on the toilet (I only had to ask him once and he did it! I didn't even ask him actually, just mentioned how disgusting it was of men to pee standing) and he never grunts or does any of the disgusting things men do (he's not gay!).
so yes, my perception of the world is slightly warped :)
he doesn't know how to cook, though, and he doesn't like scratching my back (seeing as it only ever itches when he's around, I can almost understand why).
He doesn't like scratching my arms, shoulders etc because he seems to think I can reach there myself!
so, another husband would come in handy ;)

On the other hand, it would be unfair for one person to have two spouses of the opposite sex. That would still mean that each of them (the two husbands/wives I mean) has only one spouse, whereas the wife/husband had two... unless all of them didn't mind ppl of the same sex (ooops, go away little children, there are plenty of other threads for you to read)


Yeah but wait a second. I could never imagine being part of some woman's harem of men. Multiple men sharing a woman. I can't see that working
why not? because men get jealous too easily?

yeah, I don't think it would work either, but I'm willing to play the ardent defender of polyandry just for the fun of it :D


kilted: monopoly = lonely parrot :) *rofl*

[Virgil]

well, Scher, my 'husband' (boyfriend) does the laundry, cleaning, food shopping, he collects my socks off the floor, sits on the toilet (I only had to ask him once and he did it! I didn't even ask him actually, just mentioned how disgusting it was of men to pee standing) and he never grunts or does any of the disgusting things men do (he's not gay!).


Oh my. Does he have a sister? If he does all that, I wonder what the females of his household must be like. :)

[miss tenderness]

what's wrong with that? I like men who help in the house :thumbs_upthey're gonna make wonderful husbands,I gurantee.

[Scheherazade]

Oh my. Does he have a sister? If he does all that, I wonder what the females of his household must be like. :)Probably not doing the laundry, cleaning, food shopping, or collecting their socks off the floor, sitting on the toilet since he is doing all that (OK, maybe last one is a bit of an exaggeration :D)!

Sleepy either you are very lucky or obviously not married yet but I would like to think that the first one is true! :)

Miss T> Everyone likes a man who helps around the house but they are a bit of a Holy Grail for women. Good luck with the quest! :D

[Nightshade]

OMG sleepy can I share??:eek:

well not now too busy to get married but in a few years??

I LOVE cooking :nod:

and you know the answer to the whole the other person only has one, is rather easy lots of interlinked groups, so man has 3 wives but each wife also has 2 husbands and each of those husbands has another wife and each of those wives etc etc

[miss tenderness]

Probably not doing the laundry, cleaning, food shopping, or collecting their socks off the floor, sitting on the toilet since he is doing all that (OK, maybe last one is a bit of an exaggeration :D)!
:lol: like this joke,Scher:thumbs_up

Sleepy either you are very lucky or obviously not married yet but I would like to think that the first one is true! :)


T> Everyone likes a man who helps around the house but they are a bit of a Holy Grail for women. Good luck with the quest! :D

thanks for the wish!:Dwish that for all working women!

[kathycf]

What if the second spouse was sort of like an imaginary friend? Does that count? ;)

Things Fall Apart was a very good book, but made me feel sad.

[Janine]

Hi, just found this thread. How did it get started anyway? It is amusing. Was it due to reading Hardy's "Tess of the D" or am I in the author wrong section? Somebody fill me in please. The king of Siam had many wives and he seemed to keep them straight, but that is pretty hard to imagine in modern times.

[Boris239]

Well, if you have one spouse and get tired of her/him then you get a divorce. But can you imagine all the legal processes if there are 3 or 4 wives. Poor sultans- though I've read that there was one sultan who got tired of all his harem and threw all of them into the Danube.
It's definitely not an option now, so one is more than enough :)

[kathycf]

Hi, just found this thread. How did it get started anyway? It is amusing. Was it due to reading Hardy's "Tess of the D" or am I in the author wrong section? Somebody fill me in please. The king of Siam had many wives and he seemed to keep them straight, but that is pretty hard to imagine in modern times.

Nope, not the wrong author. This is just the general chat section where everybody talks about stuff not necessarily related to literature or a specific author. Welcome to the forum, Janine! :wave:

[mir]

sort of . . . it actually got started because i read Things Fall Apart and was thinking about it - but mostly because i'm a free-love philospher. :D welcome to the randomness! :p

night - i love cooking too!!! but it would still be nice to have a few men to help me . . . :rolleyes: perhaps i'll borrow some of opti's imaginary intelligent hunks. :D

actually, does anyone know if there are laws against polygamy?

[Virgil]

sort of . . . it actually got started because i read Things Fall Apart and was thinking about it - but mostly because i'm a free-love philospher. :D welcome to the randomness! :p

night - i love cooking too!!! but it would still be nice to have a few men to help me . . . :rolleyes: perhaps i'll borrow some of opti's imaginary intelligent hunks. :D

actually, does anyone know if there are laws against polygamy?

What does marriage have to do with free love? Free? I'm still paying in many other ways. :D

[subterranean]

If having more men equals to more shoes and bags, then I would say: why not? :D

[amanda_isabel]

polyandry, polygyny, polygamy, bigamy-- promoted by society, of course, and religion. it's ok with me, and besides, i'm not in any postion to say that it is wrong or immoral, as others may see it as everyday.

[cuppajoe_9]

I'm not at all down with the whole "I think I'll get myself a few more wives to get the housework done and myself some additional nookie" maneuver, but I have no business dictating the living arangements of others.

[Nightshade]

actually, does anyone know if there are laws against polygamy?

well I think in alot of countries you cant actually legally have 2 wives or 2 husbands so that would cauxe trouble I mean who gets to be the 'real' legal spouse and why?:goof:

night - i love cooking too!!! but it would still be nice to have a few men to help me . . . perhaps i'll borrow some of opti's imaginary intelligent hunks. :D
umm you slightly missed the point the point being

well, Scher, my 'husband' (boyfriend) does the laundry, cleaning, food shopping, he collects my socks off the floor, sits on the toilet (I only had to ask him once and he did it! I didn't even ask him actually, just mentioned how disgusting it was of men to pee standing) and he never grunts or does any of the disgusting things men do (he's not gay!).
so yes, my perception of the world is slightly warped
he doesn't know how to cook, though, and he doesn't like scratching my back (seeing as it only ever itches when he's around, I can almost understand why).

so other than the back scratching thing sleepy has or seems to have the PERFECT guy.....mind you not sure I could live with another person who walks around behing me sighing whenever I sit down'messily' or put somthing down with the intention of tidying it up later, I get enough of that from my little sister.:goof:

[Virgil]

actually, does anyone know if there are laws against polygamy?

Yes, in the United States there are laws against polygamy. The Mormons had to change their religious practice of allowing multiple wives in order to be accepted as Americans. Supposedly there are still some who practice polygamy without people knowing.

On a serious note, why would women want to be part of a harem?

[Madhuri]

In India too, under the Hindu Marriage Act only one wife is allowed, but it will vary as per religion. For Muslims, this is not applicable, but since India has majority of Hindus (it is appears as if it is not permissible), but it really pertains to what your religion say. Similarly for Christians, Parsis, Sikhs, most of these, except Islam, doesnt allow more than one wife.

[SleepyWitch]

Virgil, you are right about my bf's sister :) she's comparatively lazy when it comes to doing the chores (comparatively, as in my bf and his dad are really meticulous, it's not her fault, though, they spoiled her)

heehee, yep Night, you can share my bf, only he's so perfect he wouldn't like the idea ("I don't want any woman but my little wify")
yep, I thought of the interlinking groups, too, but it seems a bit complicated...

mir, what's a free-love philosopher?

[Virgil]

heehee, yep Night, you can share my bf, only he's so perfect he wouldn't like the idea ("I don't want any woman but my little wify")
yep, I thought of the interlinking groups, too, but it seems a bit complicated...

Well that's a question for the lit net girls. How would several of you like sharing the same husband? Let's see, Sleepy, Night, Mir, Kathy, and Amanda, what if you were all wives to Sleepy's boyfriend? How would you all feel? :D Could you all get along? :brow:

[Evi]

Sorry to interven, but its isnt "andros" but "andras" in Greek and it means man.
And "gineka" means woman. Polygyny it is from the ancient Greek , when the word for woman was "gyny".

Hope it helps.

Evi

[Logos]

From Etymonline.com (http://www.etymonline.com/index.php):

polygamy, 1591, from late Latin polygamia, from Late Greek polygamia "polygamy," from polygamos "often married," from polys "many" + gamos "marriage". Not etymologically restricted to marriage of one man and multiple women (technically polygyny), but often used as if it were.

[Evi]

"Poly" means "a lot" , "many" in Greek. "gamos" means marriage.
"anir" it is the ancient word for "man" in Greek. In nowdays is "andras" .
"gyny" was the ancinet form of woman and in nowdays is "gineka".

Evi

[mir]

mir, what's a free-love philosopher?

um . . . somebody who philosophizes that it would be nice to have free love? :)

I was sort of kidding though. been reading Stranger in a Strange Land too much . . .*sigh* :)

[Madhuri]

No I dont think I would get into this many-is-to-one thing. No, absolutely not.

What if I forget the name or appearance of husband number-100 and treat him like a stranger....:D :lol: It will become so confusing to keep a track.

[cuppajoe_9]

On a serious note, why would women want to be part of a harem?

I imagine it usually works on the principle of if you get them young enough, you can make them 'want' pretty much anything.

[Nightshade]

On a serious note, why would women want to be part of a harem?
You know yesterday as I was trudging the nile to uni in the cold it suddenly occured to me what that word is harem... it means Mrs basically. Its like hummmm lets say my first name is night and my last is shade whos a boy here with 2 names..... oh yes ok ....say I was married to aimus, I wouldnt be Mrs Sage I would be Night Shade harem to/of aimus sage its just a title meaning wife. Not one that is used anymore really mind you unless you are being very official or have a particualally rich/powerful husband and you want to basically say dont mess with me... of course if I was the famous one Id never refer to my husband at all :D

Well that's a question for the lit net girls. How would several of you like sharing the same husband? Let's see, Sleepy, Night, Mir, Kathy, and Amanda, what if you were all wives to Sleepy's boyfriend? How would you all feel? :D Could you all get along? :brow:

I dont know err 5 is a bit much dont you think? at this point in time Im dont think I would mind overly another wife or 2. However as I seem to constantly be being told nowadays Your only 18 ( 19 actually!) and youve never had a boyfriend so how could you possibly know your own mind yet.
I suppose Ive sort of seen both, well not seen first hand except on tele but Ive been told about it by a woman who was a maid in a house with 2 or 3 wives, she said they all go along famiously husband was rich and had a building each wife got a flat, and as soon as he was out theyd all be in one flat gossiping and socialising but the minute he got back it was each off to her own flat, I think as I understand it the man was afraid of his wives plotting against him.

I suppose it depends on what you see as a norm if you see multiple wives as a social norm then why not? personally Id prefer to know my husband was married to someone else rather the suspect him of having an affair.
If you sneak around hiding it then you know youve done somthing wrong but if you just come out and say it then everyone has a chance to deal with it.

[mir]

I imagine it usually works on the principle of if you get them young enough, you can make them 'want' pretty much anything.

actually . . . i was thinking about that . . . and that could really be a problem. because, pretty much as a general rule, anyone from 2 or 3 years older to about 20 years older than middle- or high-school girls is really attractive to them. i could imagine someone taking advantage of that; i'm always afraid it will happen in a school a friend of mine goes to, which is all-girls but there are several male teachers who obviously know that half the girls have crushes on them (they would be blind not to!).

though i don't know if they would be all that nuts about being part of a harem . . . :rolleyes:

nightshade - that's really interesting about the "harem" meaning Mrs.! especially since i think a sultan or whoever used to have harems wouldn't be married to the women in them . . i don't know though.

also, i do wonder if there are any polyandrist societies around. i've never heard of any, only polygynous. i guess polygyny makes sense if you have a low population or children are a sign of status . . . but polyandry is nicer for us!! :lol:

and night, whichever boys aren't your boyfriend don't know what they're missing! so don't feel bad!! :)

[cuppajoe_9]

My point was actually that if you raise your daughter in such a way as to paint membership in a harem as the highest thing she could ever acomplish, she would probably want to be a member of a harem. That trick worked on women in western (and, in fact, most other) societies with the concept of staying home and raising the children and obeying your husband for quite a large number of centuries. This requires a society of like-minded people to help you, however.

Speaking as a guy who is constantly being hit on by girls 2 and 3 years younger than myself, most of us don't want to take advantage of that.

Interesting, but largely irrelivant note: many females in members of other species become members of harems because it is in the best interests of their genes to breed with the biggest or strongest or fastest male available, even if he already has a mate, because their sons will have a better chance of acquiring harems of their own. It's a bit rough on the rest of the males, however.

[Nightshade]

well Im pretty sure the population is somthing like 2:1 women to men so it can be that bad...I know it egypt its somthing like 3:1.
You know what I find interesting mir?--why is it that everyone accets the western view of what a harem is? because thee sultan could have been married to 4 of the women did they really have as many wives as we think they did? And if nnot where did the idea come from? I have an egyptian history book somwhere ( that I havent read yet) about a famous wife of someone who was to do with saladdin --his son or grandson ( that dynasty anyway) they had this war going on and her husband died in the night and she kept it secret and pretended he refused to leave the bedroom and relayed 'his' statagies they won the war by miles, then she was assisnated by anoher wife who was afraid that her ( shugurateldur's ) power would mean her son never came to power. Bloody lot and I left the point which is I wonder howmany wives he had?

[Virgil]

I was the first to use the word harem here. I apologize if I used it incorrectly. I assumed it was synomous with a man having more than one wife.

[SleepyWitch]

also, i do wonder if there are any polyandrist societies around. i've never heard of any, only polygynous. i guess polygyny makes sense if you have a low population or children are a sign of status . . . but polyandry is nicer for us!! :lol:


I think there's a matriarchal tribe somewhere in western Mongolia near the Gobi dessert and they are polyandrist. But don't pin me down, the polyandrist bit may be wrong

[Nightshade]

I was the first to use the word harem here. I apologize if I used it incorrectly. I assumed it was synomous with a man having more than one wife.

no i was youre use I was objecting to I was just wondering why do we pretty much globablly use the 'westernised' version of the sultans courst why dont we ever ever hear their side? Their must be some record of it, must there?

I once read the shiek by e.m. hull ( yeah yeah I know rubbish readin my excuse was I was 14 and the abstract said it was thefirst modern romance , ground breaking stuff. anyway the thing that annoyed me most about that book was the portrayl of the arab world. Well bedouins more particarllybut if anything it proved to me that the odd assumption and presummions peole have of the arabs have been hundreds and hunderds of years in the making.
Actally The son of Tarzan is another good example of what I mean!

[Virgil]

no i was youre use I was objecting to I was just wondering why do we pretty much globablly use the 'westernised' version of the sultans courst why dont we ever ever hear their side? Their must be some record of it, must there?



I guess we just don't know any better. I have never heard about the "Mrs." meaning you mentioned above.

[SleepyWitch]

Sorry to interven, but its isnt "andros" but "andras" in Greek and it means man.
And "gineka" means woman. Polygyny it is from the ancient Greek , when the word for woman was "gyny".

Hope it helps.

Evi

heehee, thanks Evi :) are you from Greece? It's been a long time since I studied Classical Greek at school :) of course it's ho anir :) is andros the Classical genitive or or something? like ho anir, tou andros, etc? andra moi enepe mousa :) it looks weird in Latin letters
returning to polyandry, aren't the amazons said to have been polyandrists?

[Nightshade]

umm again I think thats the 'modern ' version, I seem to remeber somthing about the amazons being 'non-women' and lopping off one or both breasts so that they could fight and use a bow better.
and also does it as polyandry if you kill the men off, sort of like a what type of insect is it, or is it a spider?:confused:

[SleepyWitch]

yeah, I think in fact they didn't have any husbands at all, they just used men to get pregnant and then killed or exiled them or something... that's another version of the story
night, have you read Orientalism by Edward Said?

by the way, my boyfriend doesn't like the idea of having 5 wives. I asked him about it and he reacted just the way I predicted ("I only want my little wifey") ;)

[Nightshade]

yeah, I think in fact they didn't have any husbands at all, they just used men to get pregnant and then killed or exiled them or something... that's another version of the story
night, have you read Orientalism by Edward Said?

no is it any good ?? should I ? Im sort of out of books at the moment


by the way, my boyfriend doesn't like the idea of having 5 wives. I asked him about it and he reacted just the way I predicted ("I only want my little wifey") ;)

tempted to say awww bless:sick: :rolleyes:

[SleepyWitch]

I've only read 2 chapters or something... It's really famous.. it deals with things like "how come Westerners have these weird ideas about 'the Orient'"? It describes how "Orientalism" (the study of 'the Orient' by Westerners) established a tradition of knowledge that tells you more about the colonial powers' perception of the world than about the actual 'Orient' itself....
It's not a novel, mind you.. I think it's some kind of post-colonial, post-structuralist/deconstructionist anthropology/social studies stuff...
I think it even talks about the Harem

[Nightshade]

coool!
I might enjoy that ummm however Im sort of drowning in nonfiction books .....

[subterranean]

Anyone have opinon about polyamorous?

[SleepyWitch]

what's polyamorous?

[cuppajoe_9]

Polyamory is the practice or lifestyle of being open to having more than one loving, intimate relationship at a time, with the full knowledge and consent of all partners involved.

It's not for me, but I won't condemn anybody who likes it.

[mir]

no! THAT'S what i was going for!!! thank you subterranean!! (and wikipeida!! :)0

[Virgil]

Polyamorous I guess is Hugh Heffner and his supposed three girls he lives with. There is nothing more repulsive than watching Hugh Hefner walking about in his pyjamas and his three sluts about in their house. I'm sure the girls are just around for the money.

[Evi]

Sleepywitch,

yes, i am from Greece. As i can see you remember the first verses from Ulysuus, "andra mienepe musa os ma la pola". there are wondeful verses. Thank you for reminding them. It is always pleasant knowing that foregneirs know about your history and civilaziation. By the way, where are you from?

Evi

[Bookworm Cris]

Quote:
Originally Posted by mir
actually, does anyone know if there are laws against polygamy?

Virgil replied:
Yes, in the United States there are laws against polygamy. The Mormons had to change their religious practice of allowing multiple wives in order to be accepted as Americans. Supposedly there are still some who practice polygamy without people knowing.


I think the issue is not as simple as it seems. The HBO minisseries, Big Love, shows a mormon mas who has three wives; only the first one is his legal wife, because of the american law. The two others are "mistresses", by the law, although he and his family considers them as real wives. The series show the jealousy between the wives, the daily problems, and, in my opinion, tends to show a situation that´s good for the man; yes, he has some problems, but he has three beautiful women disputing his love, attentions and bedtime.
In the book "The Bookseller of Cabul", by Asne Seierstad, we see how an Afghanistan family lives. The man has two wives (the afghan law allows it), and the book shows how the first wife, although it was perfectly legal and socially accepted, felt despised because her husband decided to take a second wife. it meant to her thar he didn´t want her anymore (and that was true); she said to family friends and acquaintances that she couldn´t sleep with him anymore because of medical orders, and she allowed him to take a second wife so he could have more children; that would do to make her generous and good-hearted.
There´s a brazilian movie, "Eu Tu Eles" (Me, You, Them), that shows a woman with three husbands; I haven´t seen it, but I know it´s based on a true story that happened recently in the Northeast region of Brasil. Too complicated for me...
As we can see, there are many other things involved in this issue than law and "taking someone´s socks off the floor"...

By the way, it´s not for me. One and one is enough...

[Virgil]

I think the issue is not as simple as it seems. The HBO minisseries, Big Love, shows a mormon mas who has three wives; only the first one is his legal wife, because of the american law. The two others are "mistresses", by the law, although he and his family considers them as real wives. The series show the jealousy between the wives, the daily problems, and, in my opinion, tends to show a situation that´s good for the man; yes, he has some problems, but he has three beautiful women disputing his love, attentions and bedtime.
...

Bookworm, I said supposedly there are still some who practice polygamy without people knowing. But you can't just go by a TV show;that's fiction and made up. But they do present the situation.

[Bookworm Cris]

I agree with you, Virgil; TV tends to show only the interesting side of a given situation; to those who really live it, things are (not so) slightly different...
The situation shown in the book is real, and it´s not "glamourized"; I believe real life is never as shown on TV, but often as shown in some (good) books.
Anyway, I just wanted to show some examples of the situation.

[Virgil]

I agree with you, Virgil; TV tends to show only the interesting side of a given situation; to those who really live it, things are (not so) slightly different...
The situation shown in the book is real, and it´s not "glamourized"; I believe real life is never as shown on TV, but often as shown in some (good) books.
Anyway, I just wanted to show some examples of the situation.

Sure. I personally thin it goes on, but very rare. It's not something that is easy to hide.

[subterranean]

...In the book "The Bookseller of Cabul", by Asne Seierstad, we see how an Afghanistan family lives. The man has two wives (the afghan law allows it), and the book shows how the first wife, although it was perfectly legal and socially accepted, felt despised because her husband decided to take a second wife. it meant to her thar he didn´t want her anymore (and that was true); she said to family friends and acquaintances that she couldn´t sleep with him anymore because of medical orders, and she allowed him to take a second wife so he could have more children; that would do to make her generous and good-hearted.
..

I think the word that should be emphasized there is allowed. I think in that book, Sultan's first wife didn't have any right to say agree or not agree. Her obligation is to accept it.

[SleepyWitch]

Virgil, who's Hugh Heffner? Some American celebrity I ought to know?

heehee, polyamory :) I like that... Are you in a relationship, mir? (Hope I'm ont being too nosy ;) ). I liked the idea of polyamory before I was in a relationship with my bf, but since we've been together I feel that one partner is enough (er, I don't mean 'enough' as in socks, grunting and football but in a positive sense).

(off-topic @ Evi: I'm from Germany and went to a special type of secondary school were Latin and Greek are compulsory - apart from English - and you don't learn modern foreign languages like French or Spanish. I did 3 years of Classical Greek. We went on a trip to Greece in year 11. But I don't remember any Greek :(. Your country is very popular over here because we've got lots of Greek immigrants and people like Greek food and going there on holidays)

[Virgil]

Who asked about polyamory? Here's a news articale from a Scottish newspaper about a murder involving a polyamorous girl.


Wife defends husband's relationship with murder victim
EBEN HARRELL
([email protected])
A WOMAN whose businessman husband had a love affair with Angelika Kluk, the Polish student murdered in Glasgow in September, has spoken for the first time about how she supported the relationship.

Anne Macaskill, 35, revealed that she and her husband Martin, 42, practised "polyamory", which advocates multiple relationships.

She said Miss Kluk also accepted the situation and was planning to spend Christmas holidays at the couple's Renfrewshire home after returning to Poland to resume her studies.

The couple keep a picture of Miss Kluk - or "Angela" as they knew her - in their living room.

The student's mutilated body was found stashed beneath the floorboards of a Catholic church where she was working in September. Peter Tobin, a loner and odd-job man, has been charged with the murder.
The article was long so I only included the first few paragraphs. You can find the entire thing here: http://thescotsman.scotsman.com/index.cfm?id=1640422006


Virgil, who's Hugh Heffner? Some American celebrity I ought to know?


He's the guy who started playboy magazine, which was one of the first magazines of it's kind. Now he brags about living with three women. You can read about him here: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hugh_Hefner

[Nightshade]

You know I dont see how polyamory is any worse than being gay. In otherwords I dont see what the fuss is about. It doesnt hurt anyone ( except maybe those who are involved in it) . If you are in somthing like that and dont like it get out if your not involved how is someone else's love/private/married/whatever your gonna call it life any of your buisness. But people shouldnt flaunt their releationships of anykind in public its just rude and disgusting to those who are asexual.

[mir]

heehee, polyamory :) I like that... Are you in a relationship, mir? (Hope I'm ont being too nosy ;) ). I liked the idea of polyamory before I was in a relationship with my bf, but since we've been together I feel that one partner is enough (er, I don't mean 'enough' as in socks, grunting and football but in a positive sense).


no . . . it's probably because i haven't had a boyfriend in a while that i like the idea. :p no, really, i started this thread because i thought multiple marriages/relationships were an interesting idea - and especially because i wanted to see people's reactions to this. i AM enlightened! these are great discussions. i was just thinking about the different relationships people have, and it seemed to me everyone just did the same thing over and over - two people in a heterosexual relationship, with even so much as two-people homosexuality being a major issue - and i wondered why, when the rest of our lives are so varied and different and filled with choices, that there weren't more options for love and marriage, widely acclaimed as one of (if not the most) important part of life.:)

[Nightshade]

just been thinking about it but if asexual( ality?)(lisim?) is an orientation which I do believe. how do they fit into the question? wouldnt polyamory be perfect? everyone would be happy.

[kilted exile]

I do not have a problem with people having more than one partner as long as everyone involved in the relationship is OK with it. I do have an issue with the idea of multiple partners in a marriage. To me marriage should be just 2 people, with no "extracurriculor activities"

[cuppajoe_9]

just been thinking about it but if asexual( ality?)(lisim?) is an orientation which I do believe. how do they fit into the question? wouldnt polyamory be perfect? everyone would be happy.

Asexuals are typically in favor of no-amory, almost by definition.

[subterranean]

Virgil, who's Hugh Heffner? Some American celebrity I ought to know?


I thought everyone knows Heffner :D.



Who asked about polyamory? Here's a news articale from a Scottish newspaper about a murder involving a polyamorous girl.

I did. And I don't really see how the murder relate to the polyamorous relationship.

[Virgil]

I did. And I don't really see how the murder relate to the polyamorous relationship.

It doesn't, but the word caught my eye snce I just learned it on this thread.

[SleepyWitch]

...... that there weren't more options for love and marriage, widely acclaimed as one of (if not the most) important part of life.:)

it's also widely considered one of the most private things in life, isn't it?
but I think part of the answer to your question is, that it's much more public than we tend to think. E.g. when you have one-partner heterosexual marriages it's exactly clear who's economically etc responsible for whom. E.g. if the husband gets unemployed the wife has to feed him, or if he's ill, the wife has to look after him. Whereas if you had lots of spouses it wouldn't be so clear and "the state" might end up having to look after people and spend more money on them.

thanks for the link Virgil :) heehee, I thought the guy who started playboy magazine was called Hustler :lol: Really, I did :) Yes, I know, that's the title of another mag.


But people shouldnt flaunt their releationships of anykind in public its just rude and disgusting to those who are asexual.
I couln't agree more, although my bf and me flaunt our relationship, too. Our friends say we're "cute", though, and I don't think we've ever been 'all over each other' in public.
But there's lots of couples around where you can't help thinking "Get a home!"

[cuppajoe_9]

But people shouldnt flaunt their releationships of anykind in public its just rude and disgusting to those who are asexual.

I don't know any asexuals, but I don't see why they should be offended by people making out in public, just because they don't particularly want to make out with anybody. I don't like wearing skirts, but I'm not offended when people do.

Unless, of course, you are refering to those people who are not asexual by choice, in which case you might have a point.

[subterranean]

Even if it is their own choice, I don't see why they should feel offended. It's their choice to be asexual.

[SleepyWitch]

I don't know any asexuals, but I don't see why they should be offended by people making out in public, just because they don't particularly want to make out with anybody. I don't like wearing skirts, but I'm not offended when people do.
although I'm not asexual I still find the way some ppl behave in public offensive. Maybe it's not so much the fact that they behave in a sexual way but the way they do it.
E.g. over here lots of (mainly "prole") guys have this way of pinching their girlfriends' bums and sort of pushing them around throught town by their bums if you know what I mean? It looks really violent and most of those girls pull a face as if they don't really like it but they don't protest. So that makes me wonder how they can stand it.
It's this kind of public macho behaviour I don't like, personally speaking.

[Nightshade]

Ok offensive might not be the term maybe ickyfying is the best way to explain it --and I was saying that it was offensive to asexuals I was sort of thinking outloud becasue it is sort of seen as not that done to have gay couples snogging and all over each other in public so what about just anyone-- the sight of 2 people what ever the combination fm,ff,mm, or even, mmf-never seen a ffm, with hands down each others pants taking up the entire sidewalk so you have to go Ahhhhem MOVE is just I dont know stomach turning. If you need to be all over each other can you at least stay in ( and for gods sake draw the curtains) :eek2:

[subterranean]

Suppose we should first have the same understanding about the level of exposure we're talking about here :).

[SleepyWitch]

heehee: "Ahhhhem MOVE". :) An Englishman, even if he is alone, forms an orderly queue of one


another example of the kind of behaviour I don't like is when people kiss like on MTV dismissed in public (alright I admit I've never seen anyone do it in real life).
Like when they stick their tongues out all the way down to their chin and then press them against each other.
I mean, i dunno how it's done in America, but in my limited experience, that's not how you normally kiss, unless you desperately need to show off and make sure everybody can see that there's a lot of tongue involved.
It's that kind of aggressively sexual behaviour I don't like... I mean this kind of behaviour is so obviously aimed at showing off and making single people feel bad and it's got nothing to do with the way anyone but pornstars do these things in real life... it's like "Ooooooh, look at us, we're sooooo sexy, and you're not!"

[Nightshade]

You know that might be it, its not like a oogle them but there is just somthing icky about it all.

[mir]

it's taking private life outdoors . . . which really isn't right i think . . . i think kissing is okay in public but anything more than that is blah.