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Jayyy
12-26-2003, 02:22 AM
This is a tribute to a strategy of poetry that concentrates on logic, thought formation, and the technological future (in a sort of sci-fi orgy). It is built upon metaphore and imagination, but in a blurry, restraining way. Sorry to the romantics, for the emotion is deeply muffled by the idea.

However, on the plus side it does have a lot of structure and the principle of the poem is transferred by the content of the text and the range of the visual.

Also, let me apologize in advance if the verbosity seems either pretentious or confusing; I promise that the concept is there, just poorly expressed. Oh, and the last sentence is a part of the poem (an ironic tribute to the preceding text).

Cheers, and happy holidays.

----------

Timechambers of motion in unmarked trajectories
 Furnish the universe
Matter dancing to the Feng Shui of expanding and contracting waves
Pockets of nothingness saturate
 The astral lube of God's middle finger
Giving movement a chance to claim it truly even exists at all

Wondering, does it truly even exist at all?

Dear Astrolabe,
Dear Abacus,
     If these rudimentary tools of conquest
 Could truly map the stars
 An army of self-replicating nano-children could never truly
 map the stars
 As they age and find themselves to be tools
 of conquest
Sincerely,
Atomic Blast Compression Unit

Larvae are icky looking things, you know?
You know.

Once upon a time, we all gazed upon the night
To watch a satellite give rise only to fall
As it burns through the atmosphere
Eventually vanishing
 Forever
In a brilliant flash, a sonic boom ruptures the landscape of the human entity
Seconds later, dreams are born and dreams have died
In the faces of these children, staring defiantly to the sky.

We think to ourselves, where has it come and where has it gone?

Some day soon, then,
A flaming citadel crashes to the ground
A collection to end all libraries
The Alexandria of 7960
Dynasties come to an end in the fierce stretch of vocabularies
Sentences    can    be    slow
Sentences    can    be
               as infuriatingly, intricately, delicately
               costing only a penny in 1920
               inflation is a simple pragma
               The division of spacetime
               Would be to expand and contract
               In between the delays of motion
               Like God's version of Miramax for the angels
               Begging to bring a stop to the
               constant bull****ting of our beautiful monosyllabic nations.

That wasn't really so bad, now was it?

Koa
12-26-2003, 09:59 AM
Now that's way too complicated for me...:eek:
I like the sci-fi atmosphere, but I can't say I understand much of it in depth... in superficial reading it does seem good, original and with those references like years and such that fascinate me, as I said before...
Anyway I like your works, they're definitely peculiar :)


Some day soon, then,
A flaming citadel crashes to the ground
A collection to end all libraries
The Alexandria of 7960
Dynasties come to an end in the fierce stretch of vocabularies
Sentences can be slow
Sentences can be
as infuriatingly, intricately, delicately
costing only a penny in 1920

I especially like this part.
Sorry my confused mind can't offer a deeper and more technical comment... (yes I'm one of the Romantics btw, I can't concentrate on structure much ;))

Phoenix_Tears
12-26-2003, 10:01 PM
i agree.. it is kind of mind boggling. I feel like i am reading J.R.r.Tolkein all over again.. i can tell it is brilliant and good.. but i cant understand it worth a damn.

lol, brilliance ..

Phoenx

AbdoRinbo
12-26-2003, 10:45 PM
That's right, clap it off . . .

fayefaye
01-05-2004, 02:03 PM
For some reason this bit really got to me:


Originally posted by Jayyy
Once upon a time, we all gazed upon the night
To watch a satellite give rise only to fall
As it burns through the atmosphere
Eventually vanishing
 Forever
In a brilliant flash, a sonic boom ruptures the landscape of the human entity
Seconds later, dreams are born and dreams have died
In the faces of these children, staring defiantly to the sky.

I loved it.

Dyrwen
01-05-2004, 05:11 PM
The "Dear Astrolabe,....Sincerely, Atomic Blast Compression Unit" was a great stanza to me. It was so cynical, yet enlightened in thought. And the way it was an eerie letter-form of poetry there was quite nice, almost prophetic in the cynicism. Heh, fine work.

AbdoRinbo
01-05-2004, 05:43 PM
Jump through the hoop.