PDA

View Full Version : Sorry, I don't title my works: #65



Jayyy
12-23-2003, 10:56 PM
Before I begin, let me say, as always, that the structure is exactly how I have made it to be, and the punctuation is bereft or specific on purpose; I deal in ideas, and sometimes they are meaningless, or difficult to gather; oh, and finally, there is no title, because titles are *so* 20th century.

Arigato, enjoy, and apologies in advance if you hate it or find me pretentious (which would be ironic because everything I write sucks and I certainly wouldn't deny it)!

------

Welcome to hollow world
Breaking our bodies down since 1896
 It's funny sometimes
That the advent of aging gives meaning
To molecules resting in the folds of space

We bathe our cracked and broken souls
In the presence of one another
All the while
Human speech meets its limit
And we are at a loss for words

Mistakes we make
Would drive off any God
It is the age of industry and information
Yet our lines are as desensitized
As coke snorted on a
     Cool,
     Breezy
     Monday

     Morning

Somewhere on Earth
On a splintered bench in
Eastern China
There is a prostitute
She's been begging for an STD
Since 1986

The years drudge on and on into androgyny
Our mouths and ears grow weary
Of every hateful sentence
This society has ever forged

An explosion of selfish rhetoric
Fragments of each disturbing thought
Shatter through our atmosphere
And puncture our hearts

Yet they continue to beat
And pump
And pump
In the afterglow of a plastic
                digital
                  alibi.

They warn
The next time you sneeze may be the last
Yet we keep on breathing into one another

In the presence of one another

The physics of the cosmos collapse
Into one
     giant
     ecstatic
          emotion.

Some might call it tacky:
Just Live.

If you're not dying, you're dead.

Just Live.

DumbLikeAPoet
12-24-2003, 12:25 AM
I like it.....but my opinion doesn't count for much in this area.

Jonus

AbdoRinbo
12-24-2003, 05:25 AM
Mallarmé would be proud.

fayefaye
12-24-2003, 05:30 AM
Wait.. TWO Jays? Jay won't like this at all.... ;)

AbdoRinbo
12-24-2003, 05:51 AM
I told her earlier, she doesn't seem to care.

fayefaye
12-24-2003, 06:06 AM
well that's ok then.

Jay
12-24-2003, 11:07 AM
She doesn't care indeed guys, I'm the one with one 'y', the other person wanted to use Jay as his/her username, it was taken (sorry for that Jayyy ;)), so now you all gotta put ut with two Jay's... you guys think you can handle that? :p :D:D:D

Koa
12-24-2003, 12:50 PM
Uh I hadn't even noticed the name...

I like the poem, I like it when concrete things appear in poem, even if it's just the year 1986 or so...
The layout changes make it original indeed.

It was funny to read that 'title are so 20th century' ;) I like this opinion, it's nice :) I like titles, but sometimes they don't fit so some poems should do without...

Jayyy
12-26-2003, 02:11 AM
So so sorry for taking your name; usually people have taken it but no longer visit a forum, so I try to snatch it up or resort to this one.

Thanks for being optimistic.

P.S.: You have a very lovely name!

Jay
12-27-2003, 09:04 PM
LOL, thanks Jayyy, yours not so bad as well :p.

I really don't mind, sure, looks... huh, a little weird, but if you gonna stay a while, people get used to that. Two
Jay(yy)s terrorising the forums... :D

azmuse
01-02-2004, 06:27 PM
ok, 2 j's, 2 az's, who next?