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Big Al
10-01-2006, 11:20 PM
Hey everybody. Thanks to a writing class that I've been taking, I've managed to break free of my writer's block, and I started writing a story today. I'm not incredibly far into it, but I plan to work on it daily, and I'll update with every new section that I finish. Feel free to tell me what you think. I also haven't thought of a title yet, but anyway, here it is:





It was late autumn in a small town in the heart of Illinois, and it was a particularly cold morning. Though it seemed like fall had just arrived, all of the signs were now pointing to winter, which was rapidly and unwelcomingly approaching. Only a few scattered leaves remained on the otherwise bare trees, shivering in the crisp and slightly bitter wind, which also blew through the fallen leaves blanketing the ground in brilliant shades of red, orange, yellow, scarlet and gold, causing them to rustle gently and lazily as they were swept along the streets and the sidewalks and the many prim and well-kept lawns.

On this particular morning, and every morning for that matter, at eight o’ clock an old man could be seen emerging from his house. The house was very typical of any small town, indiscriminate and unmemorable; it was a two-story affair with white siding, a gray shingled roof, and a haphazardly-raked lawn, naked of all plants but grass and a few trees, with a concrete walkway, which stretched from the sidewalk to the steps of the front door, cutting through the center.

The old man seemed equally typical of such a town, not necessarily because the likes of him were extraordinarily common, but because of how well he seemed to fit in with his surroundings, how well the town seemed to suit him. He was dressed in a thick black sweater and tan trousers, over which he wore a long and heavy brown overcoat, and also shiny black boots and a gray hat pulled over his balding head. He had a face lined with wrinkles, and a long, bushy white beard and eyebrows, and deep blue eyes, which were creased with the lines of a thousand joyous smiles and a thousand dispirited frowns. His eyes no longer twinkled and glimmered like the eyes of a carefree and innocent youth, but rather they appeared dulled by the wisdom of age and a lifetime of experience, like a brilliant, roaring fire that has died down to faint, glowing embers.

Jtolj
10-14-2006, 10:52 PM
It sounds interesting, so far, but is it too descriptive? I don't think so, and I think it is very good, but it could go anywhere. I could see some awesome drama coming up.

tommy goround
11-28-2006, 08:33 AM
This is called a vignette. It is not a story. A story needs something to happen to something or someone.

And BTW (by the way) please don't get overly-in love with having to start a story or anecdote with a setting. Ever read a 20 pages story that had 19 pages of trees? Point is.. Stephen King writes that you should lead with a character. If you like the person/character then your readers will like them to. Then, figure out what comes natural to that character... what challenge will they face, etc, etc.

Else... Go Roald Dahl and figure out a technology. Something odd and interesting. Take the technology to solve some problem and end in a twist. The characters aren't that important.

Most would agree that setting is best for looooooooooong works; for historical fiction; for stories that require the mood to be just right to explain a story (such as Chopin's Story of An Hour or any of the Sherlock Holmes stories). If you are going for mood... nail that setting. But please don't think that a setting is required.

Otherwise: your writing is fluid and clear. Hope to see more.

Jolly McJollyso
11-30-2006, 01:14 PM
Point is.. Stephen King writes that you should lead with a character.
Let's not take any literary cues from Stephen King. Would you rather master the language or write a paper-back novel about yet another goat-monster from hell?